I just got back from a quick trip to the store and I saw the strangest person. It should come as no surprise that I saw them, because I've already written many times about the crazy people here. But just as I was walking out of the store, in walks a really tall man with a mustache. And he was wearing a regular blue shirt with black pants. But I didn't notice any of that right away. I was too busy staring at his feet. He was wearing black high heeled ladies shoes! And they didn't look very comfortable for him.
What was up with that? Why would a guy with a mustache and men's clothes, put on a pair of women's shoes? He looked like Yosemite Sam with black pumps on. Very weird.
Oh, and we think the crazy lady stole some plants off our front porch. I can't prove it, but one day they just disappeared. And I don't think plants walk off by themselves. Unless of course they're haunted like our tree. But I'm pretty sure they were just stolen. And since the crazy lady likes dead flowers a lot, I assume this was her handiwork. Natalie and I aren't great gardeners. Some of the flowers were looking a little sad. Perhaps the crazy lady simply rescued them from us instead?
-evil_twin LA
evil_twin posted on Sep 02, 2007
| views: 686
Comments
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wombat said on Sep 02, 2007....
Are you sure it was a man? lol. There is a "lady" who comes in where I work, and she has a beard. Not just a few stray hairs, but a man's beard. I try to be nice and not stare, but I am thinking, " Do you not know they sell hair removal cream at the local drug store?"Maybe he is just a cross-dresser, or was playing out a bet he lost, or maybe, he lost his shoes and had to put on his wife's. No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service. Ha....Can't imagine why anyone would want to steal plants, unless it was the pots there were planted in they wanted... -
the_infernal_optimist said on Sep 02, 2007....
*rofl* @ Yosemite Sam in pumps! :-D What a mental image!
I guess to each his/her own!
~Infernal
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travelr712 said on Sep 02, 2007....
yosimity sam in pumps! that's priceless! you have a knack of making me laugh out loud! -
queenparanoia said on Sep 03, 2007....
hahahaahha really??? next time take a picture ok??? maye he's more comfortable in heels??? =) -
lfbno7 said on Sep 03, 2007....
If you identify him, you'll probably cause another scandal in Congress. -
rupert7 said on Sep 03, 2007....
no offense evil but - are you sure you are not on something?? LOL
And who steals half dead plants? I don't know where you live but I am glad I am no there too!
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travelr712 said on Sep 03, 2007....
LOLOLOL lfbno7! -
nursecutie said on Sep 03, 2007....
That's so funny about the guy at the store!! LOL I wish I had seen him.......And I don't know why anyone would steal flowers either, but if they show up again in the middle of the street with our welcome mats we'll know who took them!! LOLxxoo natalie xxoo -
evil_twin said on Sep 03, 2007....
wombat--Yes, I'm sure it was a man! He was probably 6ft tall before the heels, and the mustache was like a handlebar! Plus, no boobs. He had the shirt undone a bit and had a hairy chest. Definitely a guy. Maybe he did lose a bet?
infernal--It was an interesting image, trust me! He was too tall to be Yosemite Sam, but that's still how I pictured him. It was the mustache!
Trav--Glad I could make you laugh! You would have laughed if you saw this guy too!
queen--I should have taken a picture, huh? But that would have been a bit obvious if I aimed my phone at him. And is anyone more comfortable in heels? They look torturous!
lfbno7--That was hilarious! I liked that joke :-P
rupert--Nope, I'm not on anything. But that guy at the store might have been! I don't know who steals dead plants either unless they're the gardening police. Maybe we were proven to be unfit flower parents and they got taken away from us? :-P
cutie--I'm gonna be watching for our flowers to reappear in the street. And I wish you'd seen the freak at the store too! You would have died laughing :-P
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silverwhisper said on Sep 03, 2007....
remember what i said last time you mentioned wacky people where you live, dude? about how you're not doing a lot to dispelling the stereotypes i have about folks out in CA?
yeah, i'm thinking that again... :D
but i think i know why the plants are gone--they're actually cleverly-disguised transmitters that tell the crazy woman who talks to your car what other cars are capable of intelligent communication. you see, she's a seeker, searching for the eternal auto/floral/human connection, and she needs the plants, you see?
sheesh, i don't know how you missed that!
:D
ed -
mom said on Sep 03, 2007....
Evil- it might have been that he needed to strengthen his calves, and can't afford a gym. It sounds like you have some pretty cool people there, I want to move there so I can see too. -
Mamie said on Sep 03, 2007....
Man, what a waste of a good pair of Manolo Blahniks!! I am bummed! :) -
evil_twin said on Sep 03, 2007....
silver--I know, I know. I really should work the California travel board, huh? Our new slogan will be, "Where the freaks come out!" But I think it would work, because people like seeing freaks. Look down below. Mom wants to visit just because of the people! :-P
mom--That's a thought. The lazy crossdresser calf workout. You could be on to something! And believe me, it's never boring going places here because there are just so many people to stare at!
Mamie--It is a shame that he wasted good shoes, huh? I'm surprised they make ladies shoes that big!
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Tara115 said on Sep 03, 2007....
HAHAHA thats funny, we have a couple He/she's in our area, they are dressed 100% like woman, but look just like men. What is wrong with theses people. One of the guys whose name was Dave actually changed his/her name to iesha. And the plants, wow that is weird too lol -
mom said on Sep 03, 2007....
Evil- I hope that when my kids put me in a home for either old age or craziness, they send me to a place with people like you describe. I feel I will be in my element. -
evil_twin said on Sep 03, 2007....
tara--This wouldn't have been that bizarre if the dude was actually dressed like a woman. But he was dressed like a man with high heels! That was just not right. Either go all the way, or don't bother, right? :-P
mom--Perhaps I should pick up some brochures for your kids so they can send you to the Crazyville Nursing Home someday? :-P
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mom said on Sep 03, 2007....
Evil- Would you? That would be swell. :) I actually have my rest home picked out. It is called the ******* County Mental Health Center. -
travelr712 said on Sep 03, 2007....
well mom, at least you know you'll be getting the worst of care! -
botoni said on Sep 04, 2007....
Perhaps Mr. Looks Like Yosemite Sam is making a fashion statement. Did he happen to have a matching man bag? -
uniquely-ironic said on Sep 04, 2007....
OMG! Do you suppose he lost some twisted bet? I wish I could have seen it. Hell, if I had my camera and my running shoes on I'd take a picture of it. -
tizzygirl said on Sep 04, 2007....
I agree with unique, maybe it was a bet? How well was he walking? Was he tripping or wobbling?? If not I'd say he's used to them and he just has a fetish and can't help himself..at any rate it's freakin' hilarious!! lol -
evil_twin said on Sep 04, 2007....
mom--You're hilarious! I'll be sure and send you the Crazyville brochures :-P
botoni--Surprisingly enough, he had no man purse! He should have had one. It would have completed the look he had going.
uniquely--I'm thinking he might have lost a bet too! I don't know! Although he seemed okay in the shoes. He didn't seem to be embarrassed. I should have snapped a pic with my camera phone!
tizzy--He was walking okay! So I'm thinking it was not the first pair of heels he's worn. It was so ridiculous!
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VICARIOUS said on Sep 11, 2007....
If you wrote a book I'd buy it. Love your deadpan humor, and the antics of your crazy neighbors are priceless. -
evil_twin said on Sep 11, 2007....
vicarious--Thank you! I'm really glad you're enjoying my blog.