I have a vast collection of stupid t-shirts with funny sayings on them. It's my weakness. Like how some women can't resist buying new shoes that they don't need. That's how I am with t-shirts. And I found this website with funny t-shirt quotes on it and I thought maybe someone else would find it amusing too.
Sex on television can’t hurt you… unless you fall off.
I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
This would be really funny if it wasn’t happening to me.
Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
Where are we going? And why are we in this hand basket?
WHAT IF THE HOKEY POKEY IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT?
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
HE WHO DIES WITH THE MOST TOYS... STILL DIES
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I never worry when I get lost... I just change where I want to go.
I USED TO BE DISGUSTED - NOW I'M JUST AMUSED
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
My Reality Check bounced.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
evil_twin posted on Sep 02, 2007
| views: 807
Comments
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silverwhisper said on Sep 02, 2007....
i particularly like the suffer/enjoy insanity one. :D but i like all of 'em, i gotta say.
ed -
Actorguy said on Sep 02, 2007....
Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.I know some of these people! I definitely want the T-shirt. -
evil_twin said on Sep 02, 2007....
Glad you guys liked this! I could relate to most of these myself. I actually have the t-shirt about the Hokey Pokey being what it's all about. For some reason that cracks me up! And Actorguy, I know some of those people too! :-P
-evil_twin LA
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polarheart said on Sep 02, 2007....
Twinny, I like the ones about the voices and forgiving your enemies :-) Thanks for sharing! -
kruuyai said on Sep 02, 2007....
I liked a lot of these, but especially the Hokey Pokey one. I have to admit I've seen that T-shirt in a catalogue and was tempted to get it, because I used to use the Hokey Pokey extensively in teaching Spanish. For me, the Hokey Pokey was what it was all about.
I used to have a T-shirt that had written on it in black letters whose height varied so that they formed two little mounds over my boobs, the words, "This is a bust." Hee hee. I used to wear it just so people would know. It was hard to tell otherwise! :)
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CreativeWoman said on Sep 02, 2007....
I like funny t-shirts too. I have one that says, "I'm having an out of coffee experience." I always get a lot of comments when I wear it. :-D
Thanks for sharing these.
CW
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Zaraida said on Sep 02, 2007....
Love those hilarious sayings. You made my day. I especially like the one about voices talking only to me. I think in my life, that pertains to my boyfriend's voice going on and on without end. -
travelr712 said on Sep 02, 2007....
i love the 'what's the speed of dark' :-) -
secretlife said on Sep 02, 2007....
my middle daughter has a t-shirt that we got at the shore 2 summers ago....she's not allowed to wear it out of our house, but it fits her to a T.it says: i'm a little *&$%**#@ ray of sunshine, aren't i? -
fearing said on Sep 02, 2007....
This would be really funny if it wasn’t happening to me.I can sooo relate. -
mom said on Sep 02, 2007....
Those are so funny. I had a t-shirt that said, "You can't scare me, I have children" I loved it, a co-worker gave it to me cause she said it reminded her of me. LOL I wore that thing till it fell off of me. -
rupert7 said on Sep 02, 2007....
The assistant GM of the hotel I worked in lived next door so I often saw him off duty and one Tee shirt I noticed him wearing says "If you are not living on the edge you have too much room."
He is a big fella and looks like a shark with a belly ache so pretty scary sight! lol He was actually a good bloke when you got to know him. -
mom said on Sep 02, 2007....
Rupert- I love that, and will have to remember that one. I think that a lot of scary looking guys are actually big teddy bears. :) -
kruuyai said on Sep 03, 2007....
Another one that I really liked said, "I'm talking and I can't shut up!" (a takeoff on that old commercial with the little old lady saying "I've fallen and I can't get up!" -
Suddenrain said on Sep 03, 2007....
I have the T-shirt you mentioned that says, "I used to be disgusted, now I'm just amused. I love it. It's worn and comfortable and fits my attitude perfectly. :-) I'm not a big collector of T-shirts but I like the smurf one you mentioned. -
Suddenrain said on Sep 03, 2007....
I saw a shirt once I really liked on this guy that said on the front "My life is so empty, and on the back, Filler up please". I kinda liked that. :-)
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queenparanoia said on Sep 03, 2007....
hahahaha funny!!! =) -
travelr712 said on Sep 03, 2007....
i like that one too sudden :-) -
nursecutie said on Sep 03, 2007....
I LOVE these!! :)
I have some more for you too!
Someday we'll look back on this and laugh.....nervously, then change the subject!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning 50 cats ( I have a keychain that says this! LOL)
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental
Ask me about living better through denial!
xxoo natalie xxoo
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evil_twin said on Sep 03, 2007....
I'm glad you guys liked this! I figured we could always use some humor to brighten things up. I like all the other offerings too!
Kruuyai, I loved "I'm talking and I can't shut up!" I need that t-shirt because it suits me very well. And Cutie, I loved the one "any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental" That's great! :-D But I loved them all!
-evil_twin LA
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the_infernal_optimist said on Sep 03, 2007....
I like a lot of those, esp. the speed of dark one. :-D
I saw a shirt the other day with a rooster on it and an arrow pointing at its backside, and the words "Guess what?" printed above the arrow. I actually said, "Chicken butt!" out loud, and DH gave me the look - you know, the one that says "O-kayyyy....I think the looney bin is short a person." :-D
~Infernal
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nursecutie said on Sep 03, 2007....
Infernal, I think you made another new t-shirt saying! LOL 'I think the loony bin is a short a person!' That would be a good one too! LOL
xxoo natalie xxoo
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brokenandused said on Sep 03, 2007....
Evil: my brother has a bunch of these shirts too!! (okay, i wear them too sometimes... you caught me!!)
Anyway, here's a couple to add to the list...
To be honest with you... I;m a liar!
You call it slacking, I call it dedicated Inactivity.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn ( there;s a picture of a person sitting on the ahem, unicorn's horn! )
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evil_twin said on Sep 03, 2007....
Infernal--That's too funny! I remember when people used to say that chicken butt thing. I never got it though. But it's funny just because it makes no sense to me! :-P
cutie--That would be a good t-shirt saying, huh?
broken--I like those! Aren't stupid t-shirts great?
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Tara115 said on Sep 03, 2007....
Here are some good ones too...QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME ????Can you cry under water?How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?Why does a round pizza come in a square box?What disease did cured ham actually have?How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,which no decent human being would eat?If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?Why did you just try singing the two songs above?Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? -
evil_twin said on Sep 03, 2007....
Tara--Those were great! I especially liked the one about the annoying Jimmy Cracks Corn song. I hate that damn song! And if no one cares, then why did they make a song about it? :-P -
Mamie said on Sep 03, 2007....
hysterical!!!!!! -
Twylarants said on Sep 04, 2007....
I gotta print those out and take them to work 'cuz I'll never remember them! I love to read people's t-shirts but find they look at me funny for staring at their chests. My latest favorite is "My Indian Name is 'Runs With Beer' ". If anyone does a "What would your Indian name be?" or I guess to be PC, "What would your Native American name be?" post, mine would have to be "Runs to Chocolate". -
secretlife said on Sep 04, 2007....
I forgot this one:You're just jealous that the voices are speaking to me instead of you! -
kruuyai said on Sep 04, 2007....
e_t... that last bunch was great. I like "Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address in the first place?" I've often wondered that about people who only email stuff like this (but it's good to see it here). lol -
destinydiva said on Sep 05, 2007....
lmao, they were funny! I had to re read your post cus I thought you actually owned all those t shirts for a moment :-)
I dont suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it
thats my favorite :-) lol
I love secretlifes last one too :-) I might pinch that one for my profile :-)
Destiny xx
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