• secretlife said on Aug 31, 2007....

  i wish i could say i didn't understand.  but i understand all too well.
   
  i'm glad your parents are there for you. 
  did you speak with a nutritionist?  simple meals are probably best and something your husband might be able to handle-- i can relate because in all my years married, my husband hasn't cooked a meal.  so he's good at things like ordering pizza, or making eggs.
   
  sounds easy, but it's so important to take one day at a time now.
  i've been living one day at a time since may.  it's all i can handle.  otherwise i get overwhelmed and start to panic.  and that's really a bad place to be.
   
  you don't have to look at anything for some time.  so just go along with the nurse and let her change the bandage and get  thru that.  save the other realities for another day CW......there are lots of days to get used to things.
   
  i think your sugar readings will fluctuate for a while until you get on a regular diet and you have certain times where you always check the sugar level.  i know if you check it after meals, it can vary greatly depending on what you eat.  for example carbs are converted to glucose within one hour of eating, but fats can take up to 8 hours to turn to glucose.  my sister checks her sugar before meals.
   
  i'm glad you like the doctors you have.  that's very important.  and don't feel guilty about office staff and office protocol.  when you're in this type of situation, your questions are the most important thing, and you do whatever you have to do to get a doctor or a nurse to call you and answer your questions.
   
  i'm thinking of you, and praying for you.
  chin up, ok?  it's going to get better.

• gingersoul said on Aug 31, 2007....

  CW.....i cant add anything more than Secret didnt already write. And, unfortunately, she has a lot of experience in taking care of a sick person.

  I just want to tell you to be strong and take one thing at the time.

  Dont worry about being a burden for your parents and your husband....let  this feeling go....be selfish a little.

  And when you feel scared and lonely just come here.....you have so many friends .....you will not be alone....

  {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

• Zayda said on Aug 31, 2007....

  CW--From what I understand from my mother's experience's with Diabetes, your blood sugar will fluctuate for awhile until, as Secret said, until you get on regular steady diet. Recuperation will impact that some. Plus, things like stress can affect how your body metabolizes food as well.
  
  
  It's all about a balance. Balancing the right kinds of carbs with proteins, etc. My mother has also been cautioned to keep her potassium up. Plus a great deal of it has to do with the timing of how you eat. My mother ends up eating very small meals, like a boiled egg and a piece of dry toast, or a piece of high fiber bread and a 1/2 tablespoon of peanut butter, or a boiled egg and half a banana (but never the egg, banana, and toast at the same time because of the carbs in the banana and the toast) every 3 hours. I've been posting smoothie recipes for Mom, but I can post one that my mother's nutritionist gave her, if I can find the piece of paper she wrote it down on for me the last time she was here.
  
  
  Also, remember that even though they have you on medication, some diabetes medications work better for some people than others. It's not that one medicine is better than the other, but it has to do with your metabolism, etc. Before they settled on a medicine that my mother has been on for the last 3-4 years now, they went through a period of changing her medicine because none of the others were doing exactly what her physician wanted.
  
  
  I know you hate depending on people, but keep in mind that your parents probably want to do as much as they can because they are worried about their "little girl" (even if you are an adult). They are probably feeling a little helpless themselves because their is nothing they can do about the illness, so they are doing what they can where they can.
  
  
  Take everything a little at a time. Don't try to do too much at once. (I can see that lovely creative mind of yours trying to take it all in.) And you know what. It's okay to be scared. Right now, everything is new and different and a little unknown for you. So, it's okay to be scared of all of that. We're hear to listen to those fears and any rants you want to make. And hopefully, to bring you a smile or two or a hundred.

• nytquill17 said on Aug 31, 2007....

  The others have said it very well.
  
  Please don't be hard on yourself.  Good control IS important, but there can be a ton of pressure to get it "right."  But diabetes is for life, and nobody can get everything just right every day for forever.  Even the nicest doctors can get lost in numbers and data and forget what it's like in the real world.  Sometimes the only person left to remind you that you don't live in a laboratory is you!
  
  Even more than that, this is only the beginning.  It takes a long time to get used to the new routines, the new lifestyle.  Meal plans, finding the right medication and the right dose...you're bringing your whole body back in check and it can take a while for all your systems to find their right place again.  In a lot of ways, you're still sick.  And you've got a major infection and surgery to recover from to boot!
  
  Give yourself permission to accept help, permission to not be perfect, permission to be scared, angry, sad, and selfish!  It IS hard for your loved ones of course but whatever your husband says, YOU are the one who needs care and attention right now and for the next little while - and it's okay to need that and even to ask for it!  He needs to find somewhere else to dump his worries for a while.  I'm glad your parents have come to help you out. :)
  
  I'm probably telling you all stuff you already know.  I'm not trying to patronize or tell me what to do.  You're much wiser than I, I'm sure!  I just mean it to encourage you, and I hope that at least comes through.  I've been through this myself (except for the amputation :( ) and I can tell you that you are doing great.  But it's okay not to do great, too ;)  I know you're gonna get through this and come out even more amazing than you were!
  

• Jenna said on Aug 31, 2007....

  Just stopping by to give a hug.....can't believe you are going through this....but you know I am here....God bless dear one....give me a call if you need to talk.....

• CreativeWoman said on Aug 31, 2007....

  Secret,
  Thank you for all your kindness.  I know you have been through some terribly heart wrenching times yourself.  I also hold you and yours in my prayers.
  
  I am going to take your advice and keep the meals simple to begin with.  I have cooked lean roast beef in the crockpot.  My mom cooked up some lean hamburgers for us to have.  I will have green vegetables and perhaps a serving of fruit with them.
  
  I do check my blood sugar before each meal and before bed.  I'm keeping a detailed  journal to take with me to all my doctor's visits of what I'm eating and to see if a pattern develops with certain foods I'm told to eat but aren't exactly kind to me. They won't be able to argue with the facts.
  
  My blood sugar was within 3 points of where it should be just a few minutes ago.  The medication change from earlier today seems to be helping.
  
  ginger,
  Thank you.  I will be back here over and over again as I wander this new journey.  I really do depend on my friends here.  :-)  I want to be well.  I will do this.  Leaning on people is hard for me.  I need the help now.  I hear myself apologizing to everyone for the things they do for me.  I know they want to help or they wouldn't offer.  I need to let them.
  
  Zayda,
  I know you are right about the blood sugar fluctuations.  Mine was all over the place today.  I seem to be doing much better as of this moment.  My medication has been adjusted several times already.  I am very thankful that I wasn't sent home on insulin.  I want to get it right so that doesn't become a part of my everyday life.
  
  I have seen a nutritionist and about three diabetes educators.  They all want me to eat more carbs than I feel comfortable with.  I think that I am going to follow my instincts and go with less.  I won't cut them out, but like you said, they turn to sugar so quickly.  I will have to learn what my body needs.  I don't want to feel fear every time I eat.
  
  It sounds like your mom is a pro with her management.  I want to get to that point too.
  
  Thank you for your kindness.
  
  nytquill,
  I will try to be kind to myself.  I'm sorry you have diabetes too.  I appreciate all of your insight.  I will gladly listen to anything you want to help me with.  I will let those that want to help me do it.  Maybe that's a lesson the man upstairs wanted me to learn.  I'm trying to look for some good to pull out of this situation.  :-)  Thank you.
  
  Jenna,
  Hugs to you too.  Thank you for being there.  It means a lot to me.
  
  CW

• Me-Myself&I said on Aug 31, 2007....

  I have sat here staring at this screen in front of me thinking how i can word
  my feelings i have about you and your health problems .... My heart goes
  out to you, i'll pray for you, i wish you strength, courage.
  God bless you and keep you. Take care of yourself. see ya
   

• MissMimi said on Aug 31, 2007....

  Oh, CDub... I understand the fear.  It will ease, I promise.  When I came home from the hospital nine years ago hooked up to an oxygen machine and a portable respirator, I was totally overwhelmed.  I went immediately into my bedroom and cried like a baby.  Not only are your blood sugars out of whack, your emotions are too.  You've had two big shocks in a very short time.

  Don't you ever feel like a burden.  Your husband needs to step up and deal with it and be a helpmate for you.  How many times have you done it for him?  Don't ever feel guilty for needing help.  Lean on your parents.  If they offer help take it.  And tell your husband to keep his parents as far away from you as possible.  The last thing you need are snide comments and veiled insults from them.

  Sorry that was so blunt.  I'm ready to come out there myself and help you figure out this new diet stuff.  You take care.  {{{{{hug}}}}}}

• MindfulOne said on Aug 31, 2007....

  I just left a message on your last entry, I didn't see this one. 
   
  Ride the damn roller coaster for now.  You're in no shape to worry about everything at the moment.  Please give yourself time!
   
  I can't think but that you are very overwhelmed - totally understandable and what's more is it's totally expected.  Ride the dumb thing.
   
  Today is just today.  Find a few ways to remove yourself from your thoughts -- if you meditate then do it more.  If you daydream, do it more.  Do your best to take mini mind vacations if only for 10 minutes.  It's very good for our health too. ;)
   
  As I said in the other entry, I'm more than happy to help in any way you wish.  I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers... and hope you'll join me in some very good daydreams too. ;)

• CreativeWoman said on Aug 31, 2007....

  MMI,
  Thank you.  Your prayers are welcomed.  I need all the strength and courage I can get.
  
  Mimi,
  Thank you.  I have already gotten a couple of comments from my husband's family about losing weight.  I'm not some land mass with legs. :-)  My doctors give me less grief than they do. I'm trying to ignore them.  My husband makes excuses for his mom especially, saying that she just doesn't know what to say.  I told him that she is a 60'ish woman who knows better.  I don't buy that for a second.  She's hinted about looking at my toe when she was visiting me in the hospital.  I didn't offer. I am not ready for her list of questions yet.  In time, I will deal with her questions.  Not this soon though.  I envy anyone who gets along with their mother-in-law.  She feels sorry for my husband because he took some time off work to be with me in the hospital.
  
  I know I need to stop feeling sorry for myself.  I've been dealt a rotten hand and now I have to play it.  I have to face the fears I have.
  
  CW
  

• CreativeWoman said on Aug 31, 2007....

  MindfulOne,
  Thank you.  Daydreaming sounds good.  I think I'll go be beautiful with all my toes on a tropical island somewhere.  :-)  I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.
  
  CW
  

• MindfulOne said on Aug 31, 2007....

  "I know I need to stop feeling sorry for myself.  I've been dealt a rotten hand and now I have to play it.  I have to face the fears I have."
   
  If I can be bold and in your face -- no, you don't need to do anything like that now.  Do you think you're superwoman?  Are you super human?  Do you have some kind of special card that says you get a pass on being human - an honest to goodness, feeling and scared human?  (All said with respect.)
   
  If I called you and told you all the things that happened to me in the last few weeks would you have compassion and lend an ear?  Would you come on like gangbusters and tell me to get up and clean the house and while you're at it make dinner and stop talking about you?  I don't think so.
   
  CW, accept one thing only please -- you are human.  That includes feeling scared and confused, angry and sad and a bagillion other emotions.  None of us are immune from them, thanks to God.
   
  I'm sitting here wondering why I haven't received my invitation to The Pity Party!  Do it up right woman, get balloons and noise makers, be loud and very visable.  Remember you can invite anyone you want and you can not invite anyone you want. 
   
  A phrase a friend used to use when I got a bit too uppity perfect-ist  "I forgot you're at the foot of the Cross."    Yeah, that stopped me in my tracks  Feel everything and anything but don't deny any of the feelings -- let them out for real or they'll start coming out your ear.
   
  Please, be human, cry, bitch and scream, tell people "You know, I just don't want to talk about this right now" I just want to be still.
   
  I'll stop being pushy now.  I can be overbearing about some stuff.

• MissMimi said on Sep 01, 2007....

  MindfulOne, you have a heart and halo of gold, although the halo's a bit crooked. 

  CDub, MO is one of my closest dearest friends, and quite possibly the wisest.

  Can I have just five minutes alone with your mother-in-law?

• polarheart said on Sep 01, 2007....

  CW, I can sense your frustration and irritation with this entire situation

• polarheart said on Sep 01, 2007....

  Sorry, I got cut off.
   
  I was going to say:  That I'm sure the pain must be incredibly difficult to experience.  I believe that your wound will heal and that you will adjust to not having a big toe in time.  Right now its like you've got information overload and of course well meaning people to deal with.  Your independance is challenged and you need to allow these people to take care of you.  However, this will not last forever.  When you look back in time you will see how short this time actaully was.  For now, just take 5 minutes at a time.  (((((hugs)))))) Polar

• quietone said on Sep 01, 2007....

  CW ~ when I was first diagnosed with type 2 my blood sugar level was 498!  Almost off the scale!  So, yes, the fear set in and the reality that life would not be the same.  It took about a month or more for it to slowly come down.  It now (if I am bad) sill will go up over 200 but will go back down.  You will figure out what affects it the most and what makes it sky rocket.  Most people can tell when its high or low, but I cannot, I have to test.  It is scarey, but you will get there, it will even out...and you will heal.  When I broke my leg I was so worried about infection etc from the surgery.  things turned out okay, and yes it was very humbling to have to "learn" to let others take care of you.  {{{{hugs}}}

• evil_twin said on Sep 01, 2007....

  This is such a tough time for you and I'm sorry you have to go through this. It seems like a lot of people here have some good knowledge about Diabetes and can help you through this. I'm sure that once everything is healed and you get a handle on your blood sugar, you'll be feeling a lot better emotionally and physically.
  
  One of my aunts lost all of her toes, except her big toe, in an accident. This happened before I was born, but she seemed to make due pretty well. She used to joke about how she could never wear flip flops unless she glued them to her foot. It'll take time, but you'll get to the point where this won't seem as traumatizing as it does now.
  
  But until then, you've got a lot of people rooting for you! :-)
  
  -evil_twin LA
  

• skald said on Sep 01, 2007....

  Sorry you are having such pains. You really got good parents, I think.. 

• harriedpsychmajor said on Sep 01, 2007....

  Learning what I now know from my mother's experience with diabetes-- she was diagnosed earlier this summer-- the worst thing for yourself is to stress out and worry. Emotional distress takes a bigger toll on your body than most people think. Never underestimate the power of optimism and positivity. The first few days will always be hard, but as you adjust to a different diet and get into the routine of checking blood sugar, you will learn more detailed ways to manage your sugar levels. You're safe as long as it stays between 80 and 120, at least that's what I heard. Your doctor might've told you something different.
  
  I wish I could impart some other advice besides to eat lots of greens and go easy on the carbs, but I can't offer much more. I will, however, keep you in my prayers and wish you the best of good health and good fortune.
  

• CreativeWoman said on Sep 01, 2007....

  MO,
  Thank you.  I do appreciate your kindness.  I have people around me, mostly on my husband's side of the family, who wonder why I'm not up moving around a lot yet.  The implication is laziness.  It's just a toe to them.  They don't understand the ongoing fear of it not healing properly.  Nor do they understand diabetes and being attached to a wound vac.  I fend off their questions as best as I can without being rude.  A lot of them I never hear from...ever...unless they are looking for information.  They think of poor Mr. CW having to take care of me. They are proud of and encourage his workaholic nature.  Having to stay close by me is hard on him.  All that pressure from them makes me feel guilty for needing him.  Then again, his family is a large reason for the shambles my marriage is in to begin with.  It never ends.
  
  I am human, but sometimes I feel the weight of the world.
  
  Mimi,
  I can see why you and MO are great friends.  :-D  I wish you could set my mother-in-law straight, but she is one of those people who never sees fault in her own actions.  All is right in her world as long she goes to confession.  Sad, really.
  
  Polar,
  You are right.  The wound won't last forever.  It will heal.  I'm trusting God to help me.  Thank you.
  
  quietone,
  My blood sugar was in the 300's when I went to the emergency room.  The infection in my toe was increasing my blood sugar and the infection was feeding from the high blood sugar.  Vicious. It's been lower since the toe with infection was removed.
  
  I know I'm not the only one who has ever faced this.  I'm sorry if I am whining a little too much.  I'm glad everything has settled down for you.  Hugs to you too.
  
  sadea,
  Thank you for your warm and caring thoughts.  I feel for you if your husband and mother-in-law are like mine.  It makes every single day a challenge.  Hang in there.
  
  evil twin,
  Thank you for your kindness.  Your aunt sounds like a really neat person.  I've ruled out flip flops too.  :-D.
  
  CW
  
  

• CreativeWoman said on Sep 01, 2007....

  skald,
  Thanks.  I think my mom and dad are great too.  They stayed with me before and after my surgery too.  They got a hotel room so they could be there.  I've thanked them over and over again.
  
  harried,
  My doctor wants me between 70 and 120.  She likes it best when I am about 90.  I'm working on eating the right foods.  I am sorry your mom has to deal with diabetes too.  Thanks for the tips.
  
  CW
  

• namyogrl said on Sep 01, 2007....

  I hope that you dont give up hope, this is bad yes and it is
  hard to depend on others, but this to shall pass and it will leave
  in its place a strongrer, more present woman. Hold on take some
  deep breaths, enjoy the time with your parents and tell them how
  much appreciation you have for them. I lost my daughters father last
  may due to diabeties, he was only 40, and had not taken care of himself
  the way he should.
  I am praying for you.

• secretlife said on Sep 01, 2007....

  CW:  the journal is a great idea.
  it'll be easy to see patterns that way.
  hope today is better for you...
   

• gingersoul said on Sep 01, 2007....

  CW...just stopped by to say hello....

  hope you are doing better....{hug}

• wombat said on Sep 02, 2007....

  I haven't been on here and reading lately, and I apologise for not being aware of what has been such a traumatic experience for you.  After reading through the caring responses you have recieved by all these wonderful people, there is hardly anything I could add except to say I care.  You sound like you are so strong even through this unexpected turn of events and that is humbling. My thoughts are with you.

  {{{{{wombat}}}}

• silverwhisper said on Sep 02, 2007....

  CW, i cannot add to the good advice you've already gotten so i will do the ony thing left.
  
  [hug]
  
  ed

• Me-Myself&I said on Sep 02, 2007....

  Just stopped by to see how you are doing........i hope everyday things get

  better and better!!! Still watching and praying. ***smile*** see ya ((hug))

• CreativeWoman said on Sep 02, 2007....

  nam,
  I'm sorry you lost someone so close to you at such a young age with diabetes.  I am told it is very manageable, yet it still remains scary to me.
  
  secret,
  Thank you.  The journal makes me feel like I'm doing something positive.  I don't have quite as much pain today, but my blood sugar was a little higher than it should be.  :-(
  
  ginger,
  Thanks for the hug.  I'm hanging in there.
  
  wombat,
  No need to apologize.  We all have busy lives.  :-)  Thank you for caring.
  
  Ed,
  Thank you for the hug. :-)
  
  MMI,
  Thank you for prayers.  I need them.  :-)
  
  CW
  

• mom said on Sep 02, 2007....

  CW- Your mom sounds wonderful, and your husband sounds like a husband.  One thing I never want to be is a burden to anyone and it scares me so much.  If I have to depend on anyone then I get depressed and will cry a lot.  Hang in there and I am sure that your mom loves being able to be Mom again to her little girl.  Sometimes Dads can surprise you with their emotions when you aren't used to them.

• CreativeWoman said on Sep 02, 2007....

  mom,
  Thanks.  My mom has been good to me.  I hope she can come over a day or two this week until I'm a little more mobile.  My dad does worry, but he forgets he's not a doctor sometimes. :-)  I hate depending on people too.  It's very hard for me.
  
  CW
  

• queenparanoia said on Sep 03, 2007....

  cw...
   
  {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
   
  just think of us when you feel the pain. i know that will make you smile. dont worry cw as the doctor say it will be alright... i wish i'm there with you right now holding your hand and telling you everything will be alright...
   

• CreativeWoman said on Sep 03, 2007....

  queen,
  Thank you.  The hugs do wonders for me.  They really do.  :-)  You have been really sweet to me.
  
  CW
  

• Mamie said on Sep 03, 2007....

  hi CW: I don't like roller coasters either, but since we are both on this ride, wanna sit together  ??  :)))

• mom said on Sep 04, 2007....

  CW- LOL, your dad bless his heart, he tries but we all know that moms are the ones to make us feel better.  Dad's don't have aclue but you have to give him credit for trying.  My dad would try and it seemed to cause me more pain, I would yell at him when I saw him coming near me. "I love you Dad, but keep your distance, I am not hurting too bad right now!" LOL

• shiningstar said on Sep 04, 2007....

  Please try a more natural approach instead of the doctor know all one.  I reccomend Adelle Davis's book "Let's Get Well". It has been reprinted for many,  many years and returnes one to health as many others do.  Also please read Kevin Trudeau's books .  Go  to the Health Food Stores and check out what is available in your community. There are many other ways to control and heal these problems but once you get on the "they can do it for me" roller coaster "they" take control of your life.Love and Peace

Comment on "Diabetes and the blood sugar roller coaster..."

Currently tagged	diabetes life I am here health care breathe (Click to add tags below)
Tag this post	(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)
Your comment