So I wake up saturday morning at the sparkling fresh hour of 7 a.m. I'm not happy about it, but it seems that my bed is kicking me out. I wander around the house for a few minutes before I realize that I didn't buy coffee friday, so I figure that I might as well extend the pain by going to the gym and working out.
I figure my ex will not be there that early in the morning. Typically he sleeps until noon or later on weekends. I can be in, do a full workout, grab a shower (since at that point I hadn't been able to outsmart the one at the house) and do some errands shopping before he even cracks an eye. I did consider going to another branch of our gym, but I've already had enough changes for awhile.
I got there just as some insane group of morning people were finishing a 6:30 exersize class. Who in their right minds gets up early to go torture themselves on a weekend. I carefully avoid these people.
I get on the bike and do my marathon ride and follow it up with an abbreviated weights work out. I'm feeling good. I'm tired, sweaty and have that exersize buzz. I'm so looking forward to a hot shower and a pleasant trip to the butcher's shop.
Just seconds after I've stepped into the shower I hear some crazy lady yelling. Not too uncommon in the locker room, but this lady seems to have a mission. Then I realize, as I'm just getting wet, that she's yelling at me.
"Ma'am, you need to come out of there!"
I'm thinking No stinking way I'm getting out until I'm done. If this is for the cleaning person, they'll just have to wait.
"Why?" I ask
"There's a natural gas leak and the fire department is here. You gotta come out of there"
Shit. There was no way I would have smelled natural gas with the volume of sweat and stink I had worked up. Now, I'm gonna get bum rushed out of the shower, still be stinky, now wet, and I'm working on really pissed off.
I grab my stuff, walk quickly and carefully on the now wet tile floor to the lockers and dress as quick as I can. I can now smell the gas, mixed with my still stinky body. I'm just combing my soaking wet hair when the woman returns.
"Ma'am, where are you? You need to get out of the locker room. The fire department is here"
"Yeah, just about done"
I grab my bag, feeling about as attractive as quasi motto (sp?) and shuffle out of the locker room past about a dozen fire fighters. I'll bet I never get asked out by anyone in their company.
I go do my errands and get looks ranging from puzzled to mildly distain from the cashiers and clerks in the stores. Even the butcher doesn't say a word to me. Wow, this is really bad.
I finally slink home, where I find my roommate. I confess that not only can I not figure out the TV, but the shower has me stumped. He shows me that "tricks" of getting the shower going and I take a really really long shower and top it off with generous amounts of body spray and blow drying so that I'm reasonably sure that at the very least I smell good.
I skipped the gym on sunday. 'Nuff said. I'm contemplating a trip tonight, but we'll see.
