I was reminded last night that the sorrows associated with the empty nest don’t last forever. My children continue to be a source of tremendous joy and pride, but I have to patiently wait for the phases and milestones in the same way I did as they were growing up.
Last night was one of those milestone occasions for No.4 – the first time a girlfriend has qualified for meeting the parents! We spent quite a bit of time on the phone yesterday. He said she was nervous, but he didn’t fool me. I swear he was every bit as cute as the first time he tasted creamed spinach – and just as funny!
He’d started dinner before we arrived at his house. He’d cleared out all the housemates and his girlfriend was already there. We had to introduce ourselves. He started talking a million miles a minute and let her stand there, shy and awkward, waiting for someone to acknowledge her. Dad did. I forced him to make the introduction like a real man. He did.
The night went off without a hitch. We all gathered in the kitchen when we arrived and emerged almost four hours later to go home. I was walking on clouds the rest of the night. I still haven’t slept over 12 hours after we got home. Seeing the changes in my son – experiencing what our relationship has become – realizing we really did do a great job – reminded me of how special the bond is between my son and me.
For the first time I really, truly, honestly, deep down in my heart and soul saw what my husband has been telling me for years – my son knows no other mother – longs for no other mother – wants no other mother – remembers no other mother. I don’t expect anyone to understand who hasn’t walked in my shoes – but to get a child when he’s 12 years old – and form a bond this precious, this strong, this eternal – gives me an unspeakable sense of joy and pride.
Part of this mid-life thing is thinking life so far has passed me by – all the mistakes and time wasted – all the things I can’t change or take back – all the changes in a life I want back the way it was. But last night proved to me that I didn’t mess up being a mom to No.4 after all. I actually did a good job. Me. I was a good mom – and I still am. No mistake was too big, no time was too wasted. If I could go back, what would I change and risk what I have now? Nothing. Not a single thing.
