• EvilTwin said on Aug 23, 2007....

  Oh my... 
   
  [Hugs] for you and your oldest, love.  I know it isn't an easy time for her, or for you.  I do understand that.  But it is a natural part of life, and one that needs to be addressed and faced openly. 
   
  I know she's young, but it is going to happen sooner or later.  Now that you both know what it is, I am sure she'll be able to handle it.  And you, love.
   
  I wish I had some advice to give on how to handle it, but I do not.  Not yet.  Just be patient and understanding.  I think what you have done is an excellent start.  I think it's better to be prepared than caught unawares completely. 
   
  Just make sure she knows that she isn't alone in going through this, and that she knows she can talk to you about it if and when she needs to.  I think that her knowing that will help her be able to cope with it...
   
  And you know that you can always open up to those around you.  I'm not afraid to be there for you, love.  I am here for you.  And I know others here are and will be too...
   
   

• secretlife said on Aug 23, 2007....

  my oldest was 10--- in the springtime of her 4th grade year when she first got her period.
  she was one of the first of her friends to get it.  i know there were 2 other girls that got theirs when they were 10.
  it's early.
  but you can see the development happening- so you have the conversations with them about what is going on, what to expect, and you act just as you're acting, like it's no big deal, like its perfectly natural and every woman does it-
  meantime it's a HUGE deal...and i remember crying of it more than once-
   
  my middle daughter just got hers this past spring - she was 14.
  that was so much better!
   
   
   

• gingersoul said on Aug 23, 2007....

  Alyss....*smiles*.... .

  You did good up to now just talking and reassuring her.

  You can add books or other educational ways so she can satisfy her curiosity by herself at her pace..but beside being there and hug her.. there is nothing more to do than what you already did...

  I did the same....I let her know when i am having my period so she can see i am not dying or turning in a monster...i let her see my "tools" and shop with me and try them on so she can find already the one is more comfortable for her. She wants to have some in her locker since day one of school......just to be prepared...

  I promised that the first day of her period we will celebrate...because there is nothing to be ashamed of or to be too obsessed with...

  She is 12 though...

  Eight is awfull early to have her period.....why are you thinking she is going to have it so soon, btw? I was so sure my daughter was going to have it at the beginning of the summer and yet ..still nothing...hope she will continue in this way for another year......it would be great...;-0

   

• Alyss said on Aug 23, 2007....

  ginger, I hope to heavens that it won't be for quite a while yet. She has far too many other things to deal with right now but she is on the 99th centile for her age for height and weight and is wearing aged 10 to 11 aged clothes, she's only 8 inches shorter than me and age of menarche is related to height/weight amongst other things. And there are definite signs of budding. 

• sweet_cookie01 said on Aug 23, 2007....

  i think you just did the right thing and explained it to her real well....
   
  my daughter is 11 years old and i bet it wont be long before she starts menstruating... we had that kind of conversation i think almost the same age as your daughter is now...
   
  we have openly discussed about the opposite sex and how babies are made and yes it was uncomfortable but i wanted her to get the right idea not just from some kid who is acting like he or she knows it all.
   
  how time flies so fast..........sigh.....

• Eilan said on Aug 23, 2007....

  I think you've handled things well so far. I'm interested in what other parents say because this has also started to happen to my nine-year-old over the past few months.
  

• nursecutie said on Aug 23, 2007....

  I was 10 when it happened to me........I was horrified because I was soooo not ready either. That was too young!!

  But my mother knew like you did that it was going to happen too. So she told me about it. I wasn't very receptive to hearing about what she said, but I was so glad she did tell me. Otherwise I don't think I would have known what was happening........

  Even when I did know it was scary. But if she had never explained, I might have thought I was dying!

  I think you did a very good thing :) She will thank you for having the knowledge rather than being caught off guard.

  xxoo natalie xxoo

• ZsuzsiO said on Aug 24, 2007....

  As a young mom and educator all I have to say that is is never too early to talk to our children. They can and do process so much more than we think. The best thing a human being can have during childhood is an open door to information and facts. That is, if it comes objectively, based on reality and truth. The only thing we have to watch out for is the WAY we are telling them the truth. It must be age appropriate, and it must be objective.
  If you decide to talk about a subjet to your children, you must make sure you leave your own fears, and feelling our of it, because the way you talk about it is what they are going to get rather than most of teh borring info you just threw on them.
   
  At the age of 8, she is a little adult - or at least that is how she sees her own self - yet very much a child. I don't think she should worry about her period yet, but there is no way any of us can tell what is going on in our children's head and why. So she does worry, and she might have an excellent reason to do so. Maybe it is the fact that she in more mature looking than the other girls, but maybe it something else. It really doesn't matter why she worries. She wants to know and it is only fair to satisfy her curiousity. Books are always the best tools, cause they stick to the facts, and allows the children to take their own time to chew it all up. In my home I always have books on things I know children will find interesting - the human body, birth, etc. My son, who is 8, loves looking at my anatomy book's pictures where the truth could not be any more drastical as they are. But now he knows about bones, muscles, things we have inside the stomach, blood, and even sex organs. He knows about the babies in the moms bellies, and he knows about menstrual periods too.
  But he doesn't know for example, the exact way that sperm gets into that egg. He only knows that there are no babies without daddies.
  He knows that girls bleed some times, and that is is OK, because it means we are healthy. But I don't think he gives it any more importance than that.
  The fact that there are no "secrets", makes him feel that he knows everything there is to know. He doesn't get into it too seriously, it doesn't give him a reason to worry, and when it'll be time for more detales, he will let me know to let him know. No pressure, no big deal.
   
  Of course, he is a boy, therefore, I do not have to deal with the whole period thing. But believe me, he has his questions too. Things that make me drop my jaw, and look for help. All I can do is to give him the information he needs.
   
  Want examples?
  One day he asked me why "the end of IT is a different color (pink or red) than the rest". What could I say? My natural reaction would have been something like : "is it really?" But I could not say that, so I gave him a book. Than asked my male friend to talk to him about it, and I was surprised by their conversation. He told him that as long as it isn't blue or purple he is fine. My son thought it was a good enough answer and never asked about that any more. Go figure.
   
  I also caught him touching himself, and didn't know what to do about it. I mean, he is so young, and he is a boy, and OMG.
  So I told him that he should not feel bad about it, I am not mad, and that I know it does feel good. It has to feel good, because that's one of the things it does. It is not a big deal and if he wants, he can talk to his dad about it. I only wanted to make sure he knows not to do it in front of people, so I told him in a BTW kind of way, that this is  how it is, every one does it some times, but usually when they are alone.
   
  I think the key is, to be open about things like that, without making a big deal ot of them. Use words that are age appropriate, and do not over complicate these talks by getting into to many detales. 
   
  Talking to your daughter about her period is a good oppurtinity to let her know how babies come, and have half of the sex talk done.  At age 14-17, when they usually start their sexual lives, we can remind them about the talk we've had about menstrual period, and remind them about the dangers of getting pregnant AND STDs.
   
  And you? Well, I know it must be interesting to deal with this as a mom. We want to be there for them, we want to make sure they are OK, and we did the right thing.
  But believe me, they know so much more than we think. All they need to honesty, and for us to be cool about it. It is a natural thing, yet a big step in a girl's life.
  WHEN she gets there, it shell be fun to go get all kinds of different type and brand of pads, daily pads, tampons, hygene washes and all, and have a fun girl's night when the two of you (or even some girlfriends too) talking about the differences. How  and when to use this kind, which one is the most comfortable, which one is the most practical and why? Of course, only if SHE is interested and cool about it. Things like this could turn into the most akward situations for the both of you, if it is not comming from both sides.
   
  Good luck to you both. It's gonna be fine.  

• uniquely-ironic said on Aug 24, 2007....

  My daughter started her periods this past spring.  I had anticipated that she might, since I had started when I was her age.  We started talking about periods when she was about 10 or so.  Never any in depth talks, but general.  Last school year they had health class where they also went over menstruation and female development.  I asked her a few questions about the class to make sure they'd covered everything and then we went and bought all the supplies she might need and a cute bag to put them in.  I wasn't sure if she'd start when she was living with me or not.  We also got a mini bag so that she could keep it in her locker at school.  It all went smoothly since we had talked, though I'm sure it was a little scarey for her.
   
  Basically I treated this as just another aspect of our "girlie" trips where we pamper ourselves.  If presented as a "gift" or a truly feminine occurrance, it should take some of the surprise out of it.

• Alyss said on Aug 25, 2007....

  Thank you all for your comments and sharing your views. I've always been of the opinion that it is much better to have the knowledge than not and I don't believe in partial truths or dumbing down but this topic had me concerned.
  
  I don't want to scare her or give her cause to worry but I think forewarned is forearmed in this case.
  
  Interestingly she has been much calmer and more like herself since we had the talk...
  

• ladyscarlet said on Aug 27, 2007....

  We had to see the school nurse once a term when I was at high school, and it always freaked me out because she wanted to know if I'd had my first period or not. She was a scary lady and I never wanted to tell her intimate stuff! My Mum and I talked everything over in advance which reassured me I could ask her anything when it did arrive.
  
  I have to say the period supplies in a cute bag and celebration ideas are great!! I never had any of that but I'd have loved it and would have found it really reassuring. Don't worry too much about being scared - my Mum cried when I got my first period because of what it 'represented' (lol!) and I'm not too scarred ;)
  

• mom said on Aug 27, 2007....

  Alyss- My daughter just turned 11 and she started going through puberty when she was 10, developing and such although she has not started her period.  I had a hard time talking to her about puberty cause she is so innocent. I talked in  general terms and then she would ask questions.  It was very natural for her to accept.  I didn't give her enough credit to handle it.
  I just can't bring myself to lie to her and tell her how wonderful it will be. When I got my first period, my mother told everyone in the family, "Guess what?  Debra has become a young woman." I mean really what kind of shit is that?
  

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