I have had the last two days off. In the last two days when I obviously had far too much time to think I have ended two relationships and probably a third as well.
Go me.
The first really couldn't be helped. Someone I thought I knew showed me a side to themselves I didn't like, so I ended the friendship rather than be exposed to that. Simple enough. I do feel some reget. I don't have enough friends that I can discard them lightly. And I took four months to decide how I meant to address what I experienced. So that friend is now out of my life.
The second......
I hesitate to speak on it as the last time I did, the world exploded. But I suppose their isn't much more that could happen now. The only romantic interest in my life is now gone. It wasn't working for me in a way I hadn't been very honest about. I was more lonely with him in my life than if I had had no one. And now that it is done, I am discovering that he was equally dishonest. There were things that weren't working for him that he neither mentioned nor addressed. Can some semblance of a friendship be salvaged? I hope so. I don't know. Maybe not.
The third was someone whom I count as a friend who has been expressing a desire to be more. When I explained that I had been in a relationship about which he knew nothing and that I didn't want to get into a relationship with him for fear of the whole rebound nightmare... let's just say he was shocked.
He said some things that lead me to believe that his view of me has changed and not for the better. But that is okay. I wanted to be honest and upfront. How he reacted was up to him. I feel good about it and in the long run, so will he.
Someone like him deserves better than the likes of me anyway.
And anyone who has a problem with this post can deal with it. It is about ME and how *I* feel. I'm not getting rid of it.
In some aspects of my life I am too selfish. In others not enough. Time to find the balance.
LadyGamer posted on Aug 22, 2007
| views: 281
Comments
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Alyss said on Aug 22, 2007....
{hugs}
Ending relationships is always difficult whatever the reasons for it.
As for the friend who might have been more, IMO it's not about 'deserving better' and you know it. It's about honesty and people's misconceptions and idealised pictures of us as individuals and how those images mesh with the reality.
I know that once the truth is out there about me many people who I consider friends will be shocked and perhaps think less of me but it's not about their opinions it's about doing the best thing for us as living, breathing, caring women.
It is indeed a balancing act.
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carmachu said on Aug 22, 2007....
*hugs*Its your blog, your rules as I've said to many many folks.....you express what you need to get yourself better. Anyone doesnt like it, its too bad.True friends arent going to jump ship becuase something bad is revealed about you LG(and you too Alyss). Everyone has good and bad, and its all a matter of balance.....You need anything...you know where to find me.... -
silverwhisper said on Aug 22, 2007....
LG, i know of what you speak. there's nothing i can say other than this:
[hug]
ed -
exhibit_c said on Aug 22, 2007....
You have to start with truth.
I hear a radio shrink yesterday say that you can't do a relationship until you learn to be alone.
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Expendable said on Aug 22, 2007....
*hugs* -
EvilTwin said on Aug 22, 2007....
[Hugs] for you, my friend. You know you can call or email if you want to talk... -
lidstrom82 said on Aug 22, 2007....
I absolutely love that your username description is a quote from Mystery Men, heh heh. It reminds me of another quote: "We've got a date with destiny...and looks like she just ordered the lobster!" -
sweet_cookie01 said on Aug 22, 2007....
aaawww... ending relationships are always sad... hope giving you a hug could help somehow.... -
Mamie said on Aug 22, 2007....
go you! Getting the balance in order is one job that we have to do on our own....good luck and go for it!!((((hugs)))) Mamie -
Suddenrain said on Aug 22, 2007....
Looking out for yourself here, is what will shape how you feel in the future. why live unhappy. Life goes by so quickly. Why waste it on a relationship that isn't satisfying or real and honest? You did the right thing. You are being you. Nothing wrong with that. Hugggs You still have lots of friends here.
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