Tim and I got into another fight today. it turned physical. I went to push him out the door to just get him out of the house and to end the fight ... then he pushed back and started hitting me. I tried to defend myself but it didn't work since he's stronger than me. He didn't hit me in the face this time - which was nice, I guess. I do think he's right - though - that I'm stupid and that everything in this marriage that's gone wrong is my fault. He apologized while I was making his lunch for work. He said it wouldn't happen again and it was a mistake .... the only injury I have right now is the "hot spot" in my back but it's nothing that some Excedrin and a hot shower won't fix. I'm sure it'll feel better before I start work on Saturday. It's not like this happens often. Maybe if I would have been more receptive to children and popped out a few he wouldn't hate me enough to hit me. Maybe if I was more agreeable ... prettier .... a better cook .... better in bed .... we would have a better marriage and he would love me more ... we would have a better life ....
Comments
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exhibit_c said on Aug 16, 2007....
It possible that if you were different the marriage would be better, but it would also be better if he wasn't a thug who hits women. -
one_wired_kitty said on Aug 16, 2007....
It's possible ... -
secretlife said on Aug 16, 2007....
they're always sorry. and as i read this it's clear that this isn't the first time he's hit you.i cannot understand why you stay in an obviously physically abusive marriage.men who hit women don't change- -
Mamie said on Aug 16, 2007....
kitty, can you see that you need to get out?My friend thought she had it all under control. The hitting wasn't gonna happen again there either. He turned less physically abusive and more verbal...it hurt just the same. She got a protection order and threw him out (they were married)...he didn't care and he continued to smash his way in and mess up her and her life.One day he snapped and shot her with his fathers gun. His dad was a cop. Everybody thought he was the nicest guy, until then.....She died in the parking lot of their apartment building. They had children together. None of that mattered. Nothing mattered but his rage.Can you see that you need to leave? I am so sorry, Mamie -
one_wired_kitty said on Aug 16, 2007....
Logically - yes, I can
Emotionally - I don't know if I can
Thanks to him my credit is fucked sideways up the ass with an open umbrella. It's highly unlikely I could get utilities or an apartment in my name since my credit is so bad. Once I start work on Saturday I'm going to start applying for credit cards for people with bad credit (dangerous, I know, but I don't know what else to do).
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CamDaMan20 said on Aug 16, 2007....
Kitten, I am a man what lives w/ two women. Any day I feel the need to raise my hands to either in anger is the day I no longer deserve them.
You sound young enough to start over, but ultimately it is your choice and only you can make that decision, as you are the one to have to deal with it and no one here can help other than chat with perhaps good advise, then again, many here have failed at previous marriages and relationships, so decide carefully, but do not be anyones punching bag.
Cam.
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anonymous said on Aug 17, 2007....
My ex-husband is just like your husband. He said numerous times "I am sorry, it won't happen agian!" But it did happen again and again when there was quarrels. I realized it is not wise for a wife to stay with such a kind of husband later, so I divorced him 3 years ago. Last year, I tried wealthyromance.com, a dating site for wealthy men and beautiful women, and luckily found my match, and we got engaged! I don't mean you should divorce, it is just the last resort if that stupid thing happend again! -
silverwhisper said on Aug 17, 2007....
1WK: i say have his worthless ass arrested and repeat until no longer necessary. physical abuse is utterly, utterly unacceptable.
if this was happening to a friend of yours, what would you tell her? wouldn't you in fact immediately drive over to her home and get her the hell out of there?
for how long will you continue to make excuses for him, 1WK? b/c make no mistake: that's exactly what you're doing here.
ed -
one_wired_kitty said on Aug 17, 2007....
I see the valid points made. I'm making arrangements with family to get out. -
the_infernal_optimist said on Aug 17, 2007....
Re: the last comment you made above, owk - good for you! You need to leave and to take defensive measures against his coming after you, if you think he might.
He is the problem, not you!
In addition, if/when you are able to get out and stay away from him, you may find it cathartic to enroll in a self-defense class for women or some sort of martial arts - it may help your self-esteem more than you know, as well as giving you additional tools to protect yourself against any man (well, anyone!) who would try to hurt you.
~Infernal
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Brunettebmshell said on Aug 17, 2007....
I'm glad to hear you are getting out. I believe if he hit you just once that that would be reason enough for you to get the hell out of that relationship. It seems like you have low self esteem, and that you're blaming yourself for that idiot putting his hands on you. No matter what you do/did/have done, that does not give anyone reason to ever touch you in an abusive way. It is not your fault! Start working on yourself, you need to realize that you never deserve to be hit at any time. Good luck with everything One, I wish you the best.
BB
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one_wired_kitty said on Aug 17, 2007....
The relationship I was in before I married douchebag ... I mean Tim ... no - it's douchebag ... was abusive as well, emotionally and mentally. I thought Tim was different. Guess not. -
silverwhisper said on Aug 18, 2007....
stay strong and protect yourself, 1WK.
ed -
one_wired_kitty said on Aug 19, 2007....
I don't know what it is about me that attracts the assholes ... maybe it is the low self-esteem. That's definetley something I need to work on. Maybe my working again will help with that. -
silverwhisper said on Aug 19, 2007....
that's my hope, 1WK.
ed -
vivian2007 said on Aug 24, 2007....
My ex-husband has the trend of family violence. That was a really tough time to stay with him. Last year I was recommended to wealthyromance.com, and 3 months later we got married.
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