I took an astronomy class with bff-female during...fall semester sophomore year, I guess it was. The professor was a bit eccentric and had a wacky sense of humor (brilliant and an overall great guy, too), so the class lent itself to quotability. I kept a running list of the stuff I found funny all semester long.
These are all things he said (on a test or during a lecture), except quotes marked with an asterisk - those are things bff or I said.
"Is there a reason he's still standing on the table?" *
"Star Trek...it ain't right!"
"Anyone ever been to Wal-Mart?"
"What do we do? We schedule a solar eclipse, look behind the sun and check."
student: "He's also dead." (re: Sam Walston) professor: "Yeah, but his kids are doing great!"
"You could get into a tall building's elevator, cut the cable, and stand on a scale while you fall - there are, however, some serious consequences to this experiment!"
"But basically, it's a word that has no meaning whatsoever." ("warp")
"It's not a straight-line straight line. It's a geodesic straight line."
"It's totally impossible, but yeah, whatever. So we're gonna do that."
"Dunno why anyone would want to go to Paris when you're in a bustling metropolis like [tiny nothing-to-it college town]...but ok, you go up the hill here to [tiny town] International Airport, hop on your 747..."
another theoretical elevator thing: "And we'll magically make something happen to her right before she hits the bottom so she won't get smashed and killed, mmkay? Feel better now?"
"If this doesn't violate your common sense, you don't have any."
"Zippin' across the galaxy between commercials..."
"That's just gross."
"Then he died...it happens."
"You're not allowed to travel faster than the speed of light, so don't get any ideas."
"What is common sense? Besides rare..."
"It's the only limerick I know that isn't dirty."
"Love the prop-closet mustache!" * (not about the professor, who had a crazy lumberjack beard that routinely tried to eat his entire face)
"Zero. Not a mass of really, really tiny, but zero."
"Einstein was on crack. At least that explains the hair!"
"Apparently he thought grooming was relative, too." (Einstein again)
"9x10 to the 16th is an awful lot of joules!"
"We're not gonna die of...whatever that word is." (asphyxiation)
"There are two parts to the principle of equivalence. They are equivalent."
"The only way is to look out the window, which is, of course, cheating."
"If there's a king at the party, go pee anyway."
"The only person who really liked Brahe's model was...uh...Brahe."
"Touch it; don't just believe."
(this is getting long, so I'll post part 2 here in a bit)
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the_infernal_optimist posted on Aug 16, 2007
| views: 239
Comments
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beyondtheveil said on Aug 16, 2007....
infernal- I love astronomy. Sounds like a fun class. -
queenparanoia said on Aug 17, 2007....
"Einstein was on crack. At least that explains the hair!"whahahahaahhaa that so funny!!! youre proffesor must be so cool!!! =) -
silverwhisper said on Aug 17, 2007....
those are good--i particularly liked "the only person who really liked brahe's model was...uh...brahe"! :D
ed -
wakingharmony said on Aug 17, 2007....
Your not allowed to travel faster than the speed of light so don't get any ideas....Its totally imposible, but yeah, whatever. So were gonna do that......Lmbo he talks like me hmmm what was his name? j/k -
VeMacKay said on Aug 18, 2007....
I just got finished with astronomy 207 and your professor sounds alike like mine. I wonder if its in the water they drink at these conventions. I love what you wrote your very creative.~Ve
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