There I was, this afternoon, sitting in my second interview for a management/supervisor's position with the largest, most well established language school in the world, and while certain aspects of the job they were offering me felt alluring, all I could think was, "Kruuyai, what on earth are you doing here?"
I mean, I left corporate America eleven years ago and never looked back. So, why was I knocking at the door of corporate Prague? I listened as they explained the job to me, and asked a few questions of my own. At first, things seemed intriguing. The hours, all 40 of them, were flexible. My schedule would be up to me. The pay was good. The benefits were good. I'd be writing customized classes for their business clients, and they even wanted me to teach Spanish. Woohoo! Let's look at the teaching method, I suggested. After all, if I'm going to be training your teachers and evaluating their performance, then I should have some idea of what I'm going to be teaching and whether or not I believe in it.
"Oh, well, we generally don't let people see much of the materials until they're enrolled in the program. It is, after all, proprietary information."
WTF? Millions of people all over the world have learned and taught using their method for over the last hundred years.... how much of a secret can it be? They finally relented and let me see the student book and teacher's handbook. Lots of memorized dialogues. Hmmmm. I was not impressed. I remembered the time, back when I had my own language school in the States, being up against this same company in a bid for a corporate job. They had come in and done a demonstration for the client, and the next day, I did my demonstration. Then, they took a vote, and I won the contract with a unanimous show of hands from the students I had just taught. Now, I understood why.
More talk about the job dynamics. I would function as a liaison between the native speaking English teachers and the Czech management team. There would be no place for friendships between me and the teachers as I would be on the management team. Same goes for students. Hmmm. Some of the anxiety that I'd been feeling every time I got a job offer during the last week started to resurface.
I started mentally going over the reasons why I wanted to work in the first place. Money is a consideration, but I have enough to get by without working. I was getting a little bored and lonely, so I thought teaching would be a good way to meet and interact with new people. Sure didn't look like that was going to happen with this job. I also wanted to work a minimum of hours to have enough time for myself... to take violin lessons, get involved in community theater, host visitors from the Hospitality Club, hang out with friends. Would I have the energy after working 40 hours.
I've also been trying to plan a hitchhiking trip to Italy with this Slovakian girl and her two dogs. If I had to be back here by August 27th to begin training, that wouldn't leave enough time for traveling. And I've been trying to get away all summer. What, I asked myself, is really important to me? When I weigh the different decisions I could make... to take this job, to take a job at one of the other two schools that made me offers, not to take any job at all... the decision that left me feeling the lightest was to just chuck it all.
So, I knew, as I walked out of that office, promising to let them know about my decision by Friday, that they are actually going to hear from me much sooner than that. And my answer is going to be thanks, but no thanks.
There was a little pang inside of me that said...you may be throwing away the chance of a lifetime, but I paid more attention to the bigger pang that said, I want to go to the sea, I want to play the violin, I want to get involved with community theater, I want time to travel. After all, am I really going to start a new career at my age? (Okay, I would if it were something I really wanted to do, but...)
On the tram, on my way home from the interview, my mobile phone rang. It was one of the teachers from the school where I got my teaching certificate last month. She offered me a part time teaching job at the airport. Two days a week, a total of eleven and a half hours between the two days. Straight through... no split shifts like at most of the schools, everything in one place, so I don't waste half a day shuffling between assignments, and best of all... it starts September 15 and runs through December 15, so I can take my vacation to Italy and come back to a low stress work week that only asks for my commitment for a few months while being able to build up a base of private students to start my own thing.
So, I took the job. Good things come to those who wait. It feels great, for once, to do what I want to do, and not what I think I should do. My life is of my own making. And I will sing my own tune, and dance to my own rhythm for the rest of my days.
kruuyai posted on Aug 14, 2007
| views: 939
Comments
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quietone said on Aug 14, 2007....
good for you kru!! good for you! enjoy life, after all like you say, it IS yours!! :) -
kruuyai said on Aug 14, 2007....
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kruuyai said on Aug 14, 2007....
quietone: Thanks. It's such a relief not to have all this "success" hanging over my head anymore. lol -
quietone said on Aug 14, 2007....
I love that song kru. I can't remember what movie I heard it in the first time. Maybe some day....I can do as you are now. there is always my hope and my dream. I won't give it up. :) thanks for sharing that! It put a smile on my face and hope in my heart. -
the_infernal_optimist said on Aug 14, 2007....
Good for you, kruu! :) It sounds like you did what was right for you, and that's huge!
I'm reminded of a quote:
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Thoreau
~Infernal
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silverwhisper said on Aug 14, 2007....
kruu, you already had reservations about re-entering that type of job, and i'm glad you chose to remain true to yourself. :>
ed -
polarheart said on Aug 14, 2007....
Kruu, I think you did the right thing :-) You dont have any other responsibilities besides to yourself and if I were in your shoes I would do the same thing! Reading this made me happy on the inside ((((hugs))))Luv P -
botoni said on Aug 14, 2007....
Yay for you kruu! Sounds like you ve got the best of things going on! Now lets go find us some men! -
kruuyai said on Aug 14, 2007....
quietone: You probably heard it in "Evita" starring Madonna, about Evita Peron, the wife of Argentine President, Juan Peron. The youtube clip from the movie looked pretty cool with some tango scenes, etc. but I chose this one, because I thought the singer did a nicer job.
infernal: That is exactly the missive I have from Mozart (my cat), and which I am trying hard to follow. Any time I don't, I feel like I am letting her down.
ed: Me too :)
polar: Thanks! It feels like the right thing. {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
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gingersoul said on Aug 14, 2007....
Kruu......if you have the money to backing up this decision, i dont think it was a really difficult one. Come one, between Italy and a two days a week job why should you have picked a 40 hours a week dreadful job? I would have done the same. Everybody would have done it....lol...
So I am not congratulating you for this.
I am congratulating you because you took that brave step 11 years ago and you are still passionate about your job and life in general and still true to yourself.
This is something to really celebrate....:-D
Get ready for Italy now......{hugs}
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secretlife said on Aug 14, 2007....
congratulations kruu.a choice to do what makes you happy. hurrah! -
Mamie said on Aug 14, 2007....
yay!! That sounds right up your alley!! Have a blast! Mamie -
kelly said on Aug 14, 2007....
Nice. :-) You reminded me of a great line from an Eagles song that basically goes (paraphrasing) "so often we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key." Being half Czech myself I'm curious why you moved to Prague from the US. -
moonriver said on Aug 15, 2007....
good things come to those who wait...and grab when they see the right moment say howdy... ;-) i'm so glad for you, my friend. you deserve it.
psst, if i have toefl certification but asian experience, can i be an esl teacher in eastern european countries too? ((serious question, kruu))
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kruuyai said on Aug 15, 2007....
muun: I know that they hire Czech teachers here with TEFL certificates to teach the lower to intermediate levels. If you're a native speaker of English (I'm so confused by your history.. part of me wants to say that you grew up or lived in the US while you were younger, but then I remember some of your stories of war and revolution, and that doesn't fit).. but, if you are a native speaker of English, it shouldn't matter where your experience is from. I've seen people from the Middle East taking the TEFL certificate here. So, I imagine it's possible. So much would depend on your accent (but believe me, there are plenty of teachers working in schools here who have far from native accents). The key phrase here, though, is Eastern Europe. I'm told that, as an American citizen, I would have a very hard time getting a job in an EU country. They have a very strong preference for EU citizens, as they don't have to deal with the paperwork. Hope that answers your serious question. ;-)
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kruuyai said on Aug 15, 2007....
secret & Mamie: Thank you!!!
kelly: Haha... I just quoted that Eagles line in a comment either on one of my posts or someone else's. (It has a lot of applications). Well, my move to Prague wasn't quite so direct. I've been living outside the US for 5 years now. Most of that time was in Mexico (a little over three years), and after my three cats died, I found myself with more freedom to start a sort of nomadic existence, so I went to Thailand for a few months, and then I wandered around Europe, volunteering on organic farms for a while until I landed in Poland last year. I was there for 9 months, and while there, I visited Prague a couple of times and really liked the city for it visual beauty as well as its international flavor and all of the cultural opportunities that it has to offer. (Although Prague isn't cheap compared to a lot of other eastern European cities, you can still see an opera or a ballet for $5). So, after having lived in a Polish city that didn't have much to offer in the way of activities and culture, I found the idea of living in Prague very tempting. I've only been here for a couple of months, but I can already see myself staying for a year or even two. The only thing it lacks is a seacoast. Sigh.
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kruuyai said on Aug 15, 2007....
kelly: Oh, and another reason is that it's so centrally located for exploring the rest of Europe. You can easily get to a lot of places from Prague, which (I found out too late) was not the case for Szczecin, where I was last year. I like the proximity to Slovakia, which I want to explore more, because I'm half Slovak, and my grandparents came from a little town in the high Tatras, which I have yet to visit. -
moonriver said on Aug 15, 2007....
kruu -- thanks my friend. your answer was perfect for my question. as for your confusion about my having grown up in the us, obviously it isn't your fault. just think of it this way: i partly grew up in a u.s.-controlled enclave in a non-u.s. territory.... forced to speak english only from 4th grade up...:-)
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kruuyai said on Aug 15, 2007....
muun: Aha... so then, you could probably toute (sp?) yourself as a native speaker. You probably have a much better accent than most of the Czech teachers, and from your writing skills, I would never guess that you were anything but a native speaker. I think there's a better than good chance. And there's a huge demand for English teachers in Eastern Europe, as you probably know. -
queenparanoia said on Aug 15, 2007....
kruu!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so happy for you!!! and youre right good thing come to those who wait!!! by the way i was surprise when i saw the youtube video you post! did you know that the girl that's singing is a filipina? her name is lea salonga and she she is a tony award winning actress/singer... =) -
RollingC said on Aug 15, 2007....
Congratulations Kruu.....being true to yourself is a lesson I'm still learning and it's the only way to fully enjoy life.
Rc
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moonriver said on Aug 15, 2007....
kruu -- hmmm... it does open up a whole lot new possibilities for me, now doesn't it... i will have to review my 5-year plan and priorities... ;-)
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skald said on Aug 15, 2007....
Congratulations Kruu. You got a job that is not taking all your time. You can take your violin lessons, travel and do what your aim to do. Congratulations on that. -
Me-Myself&I said on Aug 15, 2007....
wow! what a beautiful song.....i am glad to see you are being true to thyself!
***smile*** congratulations on your ...having your cake and eating too!!
this is great. good luck...see ya
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kruuyai said on Aug 15, 2007....
queen: I had no idea that she was a filipina! I just found that video on YouTube when I did a search for the song, and I liked her version the best. She's really a talented singer. Thanks for letting us know about her. :)
Rolling C: It's probably one of the hardest lessons to learn, isn't it? And hard to do all the time when there are so many other voices in our head, telling us to do something else... for what... the betterment of mankind?
moon: It opens up a world of possibilities.
skald: Thanks! {{hug}}}}
MM&I: I always love to have my cake and eat it too.... especially when it's chocolate! :)
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beyondtheveil said on Aug 15, 2007....
kruu, kudos for you. This life you have led is one of those really neat journeys through the years I have only sat back and thought about and wished for. It takes a different spirit, one I've never been blessed with.
Joseph Campbell always said to follow your bliss to be truly alive and you continue to do just that. I hope that spirit is never broken for the rest of your days, or at least until you decide on your own its time to rest and join me in the more mundane.
I'll be looking forward to reading much more of "the exploits of kruu."
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kruuyai said on Aug 15, 2007....
beyond: Oh, believe me, I spent plenty of years just dreaming about this kind of a lifestyle before I ever had the guts to do it. I'll have to say that I had some neat role models along the way, though. Like my friend who, at age 50, gave up her management job in corporate America to go and shear sheep in New Zealand for 6 months and to learn whatever she could learn from the sheep. She told me that what impressed her the most about the sheep was how they all followed one another when they were afraid. They always looked for somebody else to take the lead... just like she'd been doing all her life. She came back from that trip and did not go back to her job. She went back to college and became a psychotherapist. And I've known other people, even older, who have made major life changes, to do, either what they've always wanted to do, or to do something new that just occurred to them. It really never is too late.
Following my bliss... I don't know if that's exactly how I'd describe my existence so far. Rather, I think I'd say that I've been trying to track my bliss down! It is an elusive butterfly. But I think I'm on its trail, and closer than I've ever been.
I think it's important to remember that there's nothing wrong with mundane, if that's what makes you happy. The biggest stumbling block to happiness is not knowing what that looks like for us. Once we know it, it's not so hard to go for it. Thanks for your wishes, beyond. {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
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kelly said on Aug 15, 2007....
Very interesting details. Thanks, kruu! -
beyondtheveil said on Aug 16, 2007....
kruu- I'm guessing, but I'd bet a pound of high quality jelly beans that following bliss has been easy for only the very few. Add to that, its virtually impossible to achieve if you define it as perfect happiness. Following it, to me, is going for it and taking a journey that will involve an endless succession of people, places, and events that shape a life in a wondrous, albeit sometimes difficult, way.
The closest I ever came was when I left home, moving to St. Louis. Everything was new and challenging and I darned near starved a couple times. But there was a new craft to learn, Cardinals games, entertainment, all new people to meet, and leaning against a fence by Lindberg Blvd. watching F-4 Phantom jets taking off and landing just above my head.
I was alive.
You are alive.
Do you see what I mean?
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kruuyai said on Aug 16, 2007....
kelly: welcome
beyond: A pound of high quality jelly beans! You're really sweetening the pot, aren't you? Makes me wish I could take you on, but alas, I'm afraid I agree with you. I do see what you mean. Thank you. :)
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anonymous said on Dec 11, 2007....
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kruuyai said on Dec 11, 2007....
anon: The song is from the movie "Evita" about Evita Peron, the wife of Argentine President Juan Peron and played by Madonna. But it was in a Broadway musical by the same name long before the movie. I'm glad this post inspired you. Anyone can do what I'm doing. You just have to want it bad enough, and then all the pieces fall into place. Good luck. :) -
silverwhisper said on Dec 11, 2007....
kruu, anon is a spammer.
ed -
anonymous said on Dec 12, 2007....
I think you did the right thing :-) You dont have any other responsibilities besides to yourself and if I were in your shoes I would do the same thing! Reading this made me happy on the inside -
kruuyai said on Dec 12, 2007....
ed: Yes, I figured that out, but what harm does it do? Nobody has to click on the links, and s/he actually seems to read the posts, so what the hell. His/her comments are as valid as anyone else's.
anon: Yay!
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