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Giving .........head....... massages the jaw....while burning 32 calories.

Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and it whitens your teeth

The American Dental Association says that semen cuts plaque better than mouth wash, so suck a dick and save a smile.

Having nice sex burns 358 calories.

Having rough sex burns 543 calories.

Take off her clothes
with her consent.........................12 cal
without......................187 cal

Take off her Bra
With two hands..........................8 cal
With one hand.........................12 cal
With mouth.............................85 cal

Put on Protection
hard ........................... 6 cal
soft..........................315 cal

Foreplay
Looking for target...................8 cal
Finding G spot ......................92 cal
I don't F***ing care.....................0 cal

Entry
Holding her..................12 cal
On the floor.................8 cal

With Different Position
Missionary..........................358 cal
Doggy...........................316 cal
69 lying...............................286 cal
69 standing.............................512 cal
Italian hanger.........................912 cal

Orgasm
Real................................112 cal
Faking................................315 cal

After Orgasm
Lying in Bed............................18 cal
Hop off the bed............................36 cal
Wondering why she left pissed off...........816 cal

Get dressed
Quiet and calm...........................32 cal
Rushing.........................98 cal
Heard her boyfriend opening the door.............1218 cal
Heard her dad/ 1942 cal
mom walks in and wants to join... priceless

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Comments

  • DesertMermaid said on Aug 10, 2007....

    Paul ~ This is utterly hilarious !!!

    I'm still cracking up....I can just say one word ~ ' priceless ' .... Lol ;)

  • DesertMermaid said on Aug 10, 2007....

    Oh ! I really want this to be featured so that more people drop in to read...
    Would it help if we both start exchanging dialogues here or something .... umm... any other better ideas ???

    Some of the lines are simply unforgettable ...
    ...finding target...faking it....wondering why she is pissed...rushing later...Rofl!
    But the last two lines were the best ... ;-)

  • silverwhisper said on Aug 10, 2007....
    i've known one or two people who really ought to see this. :D

    ed
  • mobil said on Aug 10, 2007....
    I read on orgasm, no wonder the wife is getting so skinny........hmmmmm
  • gingersoul said on Aug 10, 2007....

     Paul..........just curious.......what position is the Italian hanger?...LOL....just to see if we are talking about the same thing.....

    Hey, i burned 25 calories only reading.....:-D

  • secretlife said on Aug 10, 2007....
    this is so funny!
  • paulwar said on Aug 11, 2007....

    An Italian Hanger is a sexual postion where the woman lies with her back or shoulders supported by a bed or similiar object while the man holds her up by her hips and vigorously thrusts himself into her.

  • wild-ting said on Aug 15, 2007....
    Hilarious! Thanks

Comment on "Priceless Moment........."


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