My last post was about chivalry. I was feeling particularly chivalrous the night my well famed friend Marlene dropped in for a brief visit on her way to a party. The poor woman got to my door and the strap broke on her purse. This of course resulted in a cascade of essentials torrenting down the steps. Her version of necessity and mine vary but I must admit to a touch of amazement at what is revealed when such things happen. All the usual were present. Lipstick, compact, cigarettes, 5 lighters (none of which are locatable when she needs them), address book, pens, keys, kleenex, ladies necessary products, some random candies and gum, condoms (ah hah!), etc. Then there are the amusing contents. Half an extension cord, dog collar, one sock, bon bon dish, paint chips (used for phone numbers), a remote control, a foam boob, my tie clip (?). No military toasters that I noticed though.
Fortunately I had the solution since the disintigrating purse she carried was obviously not repairable. It was disreputable to say the least and I think irreprable would be a good descripition. At Christmas a friend had blassed me with a man purse. Now I wasnt being particularly chivalrous in offering it to her. I hated the thing. Unlike Natalies dad it was just not my style. I may be a little flamming (well maybe more than a little, it depends on the smoke and mirrors to some extent). But a man purse just disturbs my sensibilities so I was looking for a practical use for it. What could be more practical than the gentlemanly offer of replacing the moth ravaged sack Marlene was carrying?
She loved it. She was delighted with it. She repacked her treasures and off she went to the party. Now, unlike Kyle, Marlene would never take medication and drink. She has a firm policy. Scrap the meds and depend on the bottle to sufficiently numb any pain. For that matter consume enough to effectively numb the brain and render it useless. After several hours and gawd knows how many drinks the party was waning. AS everyone prepared to leave Marlene began to panic. Her purse was no where to be found!
Every one but Marlene was gone and her purse was not there. Her host brought out the one remaining purse in the closet. Marlene shook her head ruefully and in tears: "Thats not mine. Someone stole my purse!" Sobbing a wailing ensued. Her host thought perhaps if they checked inside the purse he was offering they might discover the person who had inadvertently wandered off with Marlenes. As the contents cascade out ( yes you got it.....the keys, the boob, the extension cord........). Marlene stared in amazement: "Thats not my purse but thats my stuff!" See what I mean a man purse can lead to no good!
botoni posted on Aug 04, 2007
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Comments
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Artemis223 said on Aug 04, 2007....
Botoni -Have you ever watched Seinfeld? "It's European!" -
botoni said on Aug 04, 2007....
LOL.....I recall that episode Artemis! -
evil_twin said on Aug 04, 2007....
This is the funniest thing I ever read! I'm so glad Natalie's dad's purse inspired you to write about this! I'm still cracking up that your friend had a foam boob in her purse...just one? Where was the other one? And why was she carrying that around? I would have paid money to watch the contents of that particular purse fall onto the ground. I mean, a remote control?!
My God....this was hilarious!
-evil_twin LA
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nursecutie said on Aug 04, 2007....
LOL! A boob in her purse? OMG....but no military toasters? Damn!! I was hoping someone would have one of those and tell me what it was!You are just too funny.......and I helped inspire this! Well my dad did......so are you saying I should break my purse strap in front of him and ask him to give me his purse?? That is a marvelous plan!! :) I will have to consider that very strongly........LOLxxoo natalie xxoo -
botoni said on Aug 04, 2007....
Evil_T and Nurse_C. WE devoted a bit of time to figuring out who was missing a remote. We gave up. Her story of the boob is that her drag queen friend dropped it at teh bar and she found it and was planning to return it. I m not convinced. hehehe -
mirrorimage said on Aug 04, 2007....
LOL!! that's not my purse but thats my stuff! just out of curiosity, did she have an explanation for half an extension cord? I have been known to have a matchbox car or monster truck or two but that's about it...LOL -
botoni said on Aug 04, 2007....
I didnt want to know Mirror. Some things are best left unsaid. -
MissMimi said on Aug 04, 2007....
Botty, Marlene sounds like my kind of dame. Anybody who carries a bonbon dish and a foam boob in her purse is simply fabulous! -
botoni said on Aug 04, 2007....
Of all the people in the world I do love to meet MissMimi they are you and Marlene. I have a feeling the world wouldnt be the same anymore......in a good way that is. -
RollingC said on Aug 04, 2007....
Listen I hate to sound dumb but what the heck is a man purse ? -
rupert7 said on Aug 04, 2007....
It is unbelievable the things women carry in their purse!!
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botoni said on Aug 04, 2007....
RollingC....A man purse is just what it says. A purse created for a man to carry....as in opposition to a womans purse. The name is, I suppose, an attempt to make it acceptable for men to carry a purse. -
polarheart said on Aug 05, 2007....
LOL! Your friend is soooo funny :-) -
kruuyai said on Aug 05, 2007....
LOL -
kruuyai said on Aug 05, 2007....
LOL -
destinydiva said on Aug 05, 2007....
lol I love how you express yourself botoni :-)
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silverwhisper said on Aug 05, 2007....
what a great solution, botoni! but did they ever figure out how this mishap occurred in the first place?
ed -
CreativeWoman said on Aug 05, 2007....
What a wonderfully entertaining story! Thanks for sharing it.
CW
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pickersplock said on Aug 05, 2007....
Are you sure you're not living in a sitcom? -
namechangedtoprotecttheguilty said on Aug 05, 2007....
I don't comprehend all the fuss about a man carrying a 'man purse'. A man comfortable with himself should have absolutely no problem toting such an item about shoud the need for such arise. Now twenty years ago I would not have caried one (I had no need of such an accessory) but things change and I couldn't immagine going out without one. There are so many things I need to have within reach at all times that I have no real alternative. In fact I sometimes carry two.If someone were to look askance at my bag I could really give a rats ass. None of your damn business, you know. Where else would I put my test kit, asthma meds, laptop, emergency snacks ect when I am doing a walk-about? Of course there may be an item or two I won't mention stowed away in there as well.guiltyascharged -
nursecutie said on Aug 05, 2007....
Mr. Guilty as Charged......are you my dad? LOL You sound just like him. I suppose it's ok to carry a man purse.......I definitely see the reason why it's convenient. A woman never leaves without her purse!! But I think most of us are just not used to seeing a man with one...........
xxoo natalie xxoo
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anonymous said on Aug 05, 2007....
nursecutie - I gather from what I have read here abouts that you live in LA. (The Land of Strange) I find it odd that you not be accustomed to seeing man purses.Having said that, most men would find them unnecessary. Most have no need to carry their life with them at all times.guiltyascharged -
namechangedtoprotecttheguilty said on Aug 05, 2007....
How on earth did that last post end up anonomous? Well at least my signature reveals the intent was not to comment anonomously. What the s...guiltyascharged -
nursecutie said on Aug 05, 2007....
yes, I live in the land of the strange......LOL I have seen it before, but honestly not very much......at least until my dad got one!! What I see too much of is fanny packs.....LOL I thought those were out of style, but many guys still use these!
xxoo natalie xxoo
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botoni said on Aug 05, 2007....
Rupert...........I dont even wanna know whats carried in a womans purse. TFMI is my motto when it comes to that.
Polar....She is indeed funny. Her hubby gets quite annoyed wiht the two of us together. He is hoholess.
Destiny.....thanks. The admiration is mutual.
Silver...........Some things are best left undiscovered.
Pickers......You ve outted me! Evil_Twin and I are in competition for the same time slot. My advertisers are Tupperware, Track Lighting and Gucci Man Purse Division. Evil_Ts sponsors are Trojan Edible Condoms, Johns SUV and Cherynoble Microwaves.
Nursecutie.....I ve a suspicion living in LA leaves little to rattle one man purse or not.
Guilty.....I d probably consider carrying one until I contemplate the excursions I d get to go on trying to figure out where I left it. -
jadestar said on Aug 13, 2007....
botoni, I'm embarrassed, no mortified, because up until now, I thought you were a woman..........actually I have no excuse to offer, but please forgive me anyway -
botoni said on Aug 13, 2007....
LOL Jade! I ve no problem with the confusion. There is nothing to forgive. I actually thought your confusion a bit amusing. HEHEHE.....I was waiting to see how long it would take you to find out. -
jadestar said on Aug 14, 2007....
(blush blush)
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