Happy Anniversary to my song "I Love You, John"... 13 years. . in about 3 days from today.
I was sitting on the edge of the bed, 2nd floor of the house where I was lodged with my eight youngest children. Having weathered the first waves of shock : shock at being able to smile; shock at being able to breathe: culture shock at being in the presence of people in general; shock at being in an environment where lights go on, and water runs out of taps. . . a bit of air conditioning; locked doors; t.v.; kind women; hearing my name spoken... and it was another song that welled up. . . I had just finished writing (previous days, over weeks/ months: "The Big Ipso Fatso": my treatise on what I thought marriage should be like. . . and one that started with "My name is Joanne: my mother named me this..." which was a lengthy explanation of me: and my situation: my prayer to God for deliverance really. I had also put music to the "Lord's Prayer". . among other songs. . . One that was like a cheer leading sort of... "keep going girl" called "Joanne" and "I love you, Joanne" (which are played as a medely with "I Love You John" and make up my "warm up"/// which takes 20+ minutes to play and sing. . .Yeah. That was a prolific time of writing. Thoughts and emotions were running high. Panic over age, gender: lack of housing. . .lack of identity: I almost got whiplash hearing my name spoken: and of course, I did not exist in the banks or hydro or anywhere, really: had not touched money for more than 10 years. . . and it was hard to. . . keep going.
I remember having a bath. . . deep and hot. It had been about 5 (?) years...1989 spring: since I had enjoyed a tub of hot water and bubbles. . . yeah. it was sweet. and the privacy of the "second most haunted room in the house"... as I like to call that. . . well: it has been a long journey. Still kicking. Still singing. Still drawing. Still keeping on.
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frontanack posted on Aug 04, 2007
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Comments
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kruuyai said on Aug 05, 2007....
Good for you, frontanack. I'm glad you got your life back on track. And I can imagine what a culture shock it must have been coming out of such a rustic lifestyle to the "modern" world. Do you ever miss the simpler life, though? -
frontanack said on Aug 05, 2007....
Hey kruuyai! so good to see you!.. yeah.. well: I spent the next 10 years... 1995 to 2005... (or- 2004 christmas.) ... living in another uninsulated house... about 3 miles - as the ravens fly - from where we built the fist house in Nolalu: a man came along and bought this old homestead on the North Sideroad in Strange Township: as I said: not insulated. For the first 4 years there: paid really high rent: He was supposed to do repairs with the extra cash... did not do.. and the well only held about 1360 litres.. bottom tile and 1/2 would be all that filled at most times. . .and with 7 girls, + me + son;;; and a toilet.. no.. 2 which take about 5 gallons per flush: even with the "Community Pot" lifestyle... or strategy: (yellow let it mellow...) and flush once for the whole group... I was carrying about 30 buckets a day for 4 years.Uhm.... in South Gillies: 16 buckets a day was about speed: and that was with a bucket instead of a flush toilet. An outhouse is a better situation. (cont.) -
kruuyai said on Aug 05, 2007....
So, I guess the answer would be no... you don't miss it. ;-) -
frontanack said on Aug 07, 2007....
ok so the rest of the story did not make it up... we moved into a house with running water and Drilled well... lots of water; Christmas of 2004: and this house has a real furnace too: no wood stove. I would like the woodstove as a backup.. hydro does go off occasionally. Ideally? have my own generating system: combination of wind, sun ,and battery bank power. (be off the grid ) but able to run my computer and water pump. /// carrying water for one is no big deal.
All chores are purely mathematical in nature: they multiply according to the number of bodies in the household. So, I do not feel as overwhelmed most of the time any more. yeah. I can't do the S L O G - but I could live that way for myself. practicly do anyway other than a light bulb or two.
(almost like being a buddhist monk or something. hehe)
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kruuyai said on Aug 07, 2007....
Oh, believe me, I've lived in plenty of Buddhist temples (in Thailand) and the monks lead a MUCH more luxurious life than you did or even than you do now. They've got electricity, TV, cell phones, computers, food provided, and they don't do any work, even cleaning up after themselves... those temples are filthy unless some woman volunteers to come and clean up after them. (if there are nuns at the temple, they do the cleaning and cooking). I share some of your ideals, but I don't know if I'd have the energy to do all that in real life. My hat's off to you, Frontanack!