Okay, so I alluded to something in my last post about how I got hurt doing something I'd rather not talk about. I wasn't going to go into details, but really, this is a funny story. And also very embarrassing. But it's worth sharing, simply because I hope someone out there can relate to this so I don't feel so dumb!
But basically Nat and I were having fun. It all started out kind of innocent too. I was chasing her around the house because she'd accidentally squirted me with this industrial strength hand sanitizer she'd snagged from work. Now this stuff is a milky white color. Use your imagination as to what it looked it as it flew out of the dispenser and hit me right in the middle of the forehead. Apparently the squirting mechanism was clogged up and when she hit it, the stuff just launched out at lightning speed, everywhere else but her hand.
So I had this stuff on my forehead, and we were both laughing so hard we couldn't breathe. But then I decided to be gross/silly/sexy or all of the above. I told her I was gonna squirt her too, only it might not be hand sanitizer that hit her in the face. So that's when she took off running, with me in hot pursuit with the bottle of sanitizer in my hand. When I caught her, one thing led to another, and things got hot.
I told her that I wanted her right that second, and I proceeded to try and be a stud here. I picked her up, shoved her against the wall in the bedroom, and was gonna give her an amazing ride. Well, for starters, I shoved her a lot harder than I intended and I smacked her head against the wall. That knocked a picture onto the floor, but not before it hit me on the knee really hard. I have a bruise now! But it didn't break the glass, and even if she said she might have a small concussion, she said I should keep going.
So I did. And I will admit that I haven't had sex standing up against a wall before. Sure, I suppose that's something most of you have probably done a thousand times. But I haven't. Once in a bathroom stall....but that was different. She could brace her legs on something. With this, it was all up to me. I had to hold her up. And I wish I could say that I'm so muscle bound and huge, that this was a piece of cake. I'm not. And even if she's really small, this presented a challenge to me.
But I wasn't going to give up. I sort of squashed her against the wall, and held her up with one arm, while my other hand was busy getting things ready for action. Try balancing a person with one hand, and unzipping yourself with the other, while you're kissing. It's difficult! And in this moment, I turned my body a certain way, and I completely threw my back out.
All my muscles constricted and I made this sound like, "ahhughhah!" At first, she asked me, "is it over?" Um, no!! Geez. Give me a little credit here. I don't make a sound like that when it's over. Plus, I hadn't done anything yet! And at this point, I almost dropped her because the pain was so much. So she's half on the floor, half stuck the wall, and I'm hunched over moaning about my back.
I pretty much wanted to die. There I was trying to be hot and smooth, and I ended up looking like a total moron! I need to work out more! Damn, my daily exercise routine of walking to my car and sitting on the couch! This is pathetic. But I am also determined. She told me I should lie down and we should forget this whole thing. She'd get me a heat pack and play nurse with me. Only she meant real nurse and nothing kinky. That's disappointing.
So I told her I was totally fine. It was just a spasm, but it was over. I was good to go. No problem at all. And either I was very convincing, or she was just really excited, because she believed me. And I tried really hard to get the party going again. But we ended up on the bed because I'm not Superman! Either way, it was still fun. Really fun. I forgot all about the pain.
At least until later. I could barely get out of bed the next morning. And right now, it still hurts. If I'm sitting in one spot, it's alright. But standing up from sitting is horrible. I feel like a little old man. You know how they make all that noise when they stand up and say, "ah, my aching bones!" Well, that's me. And I'm only 28!
Worse yet, my mom called last night and decided that she wanted to invite Natalie's parents over for dinner. This would be the first time they met too. My mom wanted to talk about the wedding and get Natalie's mom to chill out. I told her it was too short of notice and that everyone would be busy, but I was wrong. Apparently Ted and Marie would love to come over!
Normally, I'd be cool with that, but I can barely walk. And when I told my mom I hurt my back, she of course asked me how. I couldn't tell her! So I just lied and said I was moving furniture. But hopefully by dinner time, I'll be feeling a little better. I still have pain pills left from my fateful ER visit. I might pop a few of those before dinner....
So anyone else out there ever get hurt having sex? Please share it, because I feel like a loser here...
-evil_twin LA
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evil_twin posted on Aug 03, 2007
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Comments
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silverwhisper said on Aug 03, 2007....
dude...i think that every man's been there at one point or another. there's no shame in this, and honestly, to me at least, it says good things of you that you can blog this.
seriously: what people love about reading you is that you're so open and honest. hell, i know that i certainly admire that about you, man, and i sincerely doubt that i'm anywhere near alone in that regard. :>
ed -
uniquely-ironic said on Aug 03, 2007....
Sorry man, I got nothing. I believe in practising "safe" sex. * laughs hysterically at her own pathetic joke * -
evil_twin said on Aug 03, 2007....
silver--So every man's been there, huh? I wasn't going to blog it, but it's really funny. Even if it does make me look weak! But I'm glad you admire my honesty. That means a lot to me. If I wasn't honest about this particular story, it would be near as amusing! :-P
uniquely--Safe sex! Yeah, there was a time when I thought that meant using a condom, not a helmet! Both options are valid now....or maybe one of those back braces those guys who lift boxes use? That would have helped! :-P
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silverwhisper said on Aug 03, 2007....
dude: o hell yeah, every man's been there! absolutely. you'll find, once you're married, that jeff foxworthy is right that all your single friends always have the best stories, and hey, all married men start off as single men. trust me on this, man. :>
ed -
NotSoSinglechick25 said on Aug 03, 2007....
I've gotten a muscle cramp in my calf a time or two - does that count? Also, there have times when I end up smacking my head on the head board pretty hard and end up with a headache lmao. Did she tell you to lie down before you hurt yourself....more? :-D Just kidding! I swear! Seriously that is pretty hilarious lol. -
momsrock said on Aug 03, 2007....
LMAO!!!!!!!!!Oh goodness I am crying I am laughing so hard.... I love posts like this. You two are so freaking funny. Are you feeling any better yet?I am actually very uncoordinated and clumsy so simply rolling over during such activities can cause major catastrophes. I posted about one of them last august...long story but here's the link.Crap...had to sign in under momsrock to get it to work....---Mirrorimage -
evil_twin said on Aug 03, 2007....
Silver--I'm glad I'm not alone! And single guys do have good stories, don't they? But I hope once I'm married, my stories will still be good!
notsosingle--Muscle cramps count! A little. Especially if you were sore later..... :-P I felt bad for slamming her head against the wall too. It's one of those hazards of the moment, I guess! She tried to make me lie down, but I didn't want to. At least not until I realized I HAD to!
mirror--How funny....I saw Momsrock, but my brain still computed it as Mirrorimage! When you mentioned it, I had to look at the name again! Anyway, at this moment, I'm not feeling better yet. I need to take some pain pills so I'm good for dinner....Hopefully! And your story was funny too! See, sex is a risky thing....but who cares, right? :-P
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wombat said on Aug 03, 2007....
The porch swing broke and we took a tumble. I was laughing and he yelled, "Stop laughing and get up! It's on my foot!" He limped for a few days... -
silverwhisper said on Aug 03, 2007....
don't take this the wrong way, kyle, but the simple truth is that when you're married, when your single buddies call you and say, "dude...i was with these three sorority sisters, and they were really into the idea...", you really can't compete--and when you come right down to it, you already know before you pick up the phone that you simply don't want to.
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Lucytorial said on Aug 03, 2007....
ROFLMAO.... thats funny stuff, you know like sw said, we've all been there, I remember my partner tried this and he ended up falling on top of me as my back hit a side board (low one) and bumped my head on the floor while his full body weight hit my stomach.. he he heee the things we do...
Hope your back feels better soon.
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gingersoul said on Aug 03, 2007....
ETweenie.....laughing my thong off....:-D
Well.... i had to admit me and my men had a lot of "love incidents"... . I can't count how many times i fell off the bed, for example, because of the energy used by my partners. Once i hit my head against the corner of a bedstand...damn painful.
Another time in the car the stick poked me just against the lower back while my man was on top pushing like crazy. I had bruises the size of Texas for days.
Oh, another time we literally broke a bed and the headboard fell on our head....it was an old bed but we had to come up with a good excuse to justify the incident to my mother-in-law.....lol....
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Lucytorial said on Aug 03, 2007....
Geez Ginger.... you really did get down and dirty with your men... phew! -
Tara115 said on Aug 03, 2007....
OK i must say, I don;t ever remember getting hurt and ET I have never had sex standing up either, so don;t feel bad. But Geeeesh, talk about rough sex huh? You 2 are into that i guess lol. Easy with her next time will ya, or there may not be a next time LOL JK, hope you are feeling better soon. -
botoni said on Aug 03, 2007....
I had a very casual relationship with someone. We really knew very little about each other other then our mutual interest in one another physically. He had a bed that was about waist height. Things got a little rowdy. I cascade off the bed, landed on my back and was winded. He was majorly worried that I was seriously injured. The reason for his fear? He was a Doctor in the Emergency room and was panicked about having to explain to the rest of teh staff just how this occured.
Kyle...........I love your story. We ll use stunt doubles in the movie though. -
the_infernal_optimist said on Aug 03, 2007....
Thanks for sharing - I agree that everyone has sex-related injuries. Hope you're feeling a lot better by now!
I've had carpet burn and like NSS, have had my head and the headboard meet rather violently a few times, among other things. Also have had a bed break (it was a crappy frame, mmk?) - and no, we didn't stop either. :-D
~Infernal
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amyispretty said on Aug 03, 2007....
OMG LMAO.Having sex against a wall sounds good in theory, but I think it has to be w/a body builder for it to be any good, even if the girl weighs 90 lbs. The one time I tried it was akward, and we ended up on the bed as well. -
gingersoul said on Aug 03, 2007....
Amy.....once i went with a bodybuilder....dont ask me why.....i was very young and experimental ....anyway...in the middle of the action this guy got up and lifted me like he was lifting a book (no visible effort) and rotated me up side down putting me with my leg spread open just at the right height for his mouth..i think i dont have give more details...lol...
Point is: was it amazingly good? Nah, a bore.....i left him as soon as he fell asleep and i didn't answer his calls the next day.....
Instead, i still remember with pleasure all the other falls and silly incidents and bumps on the road of Pleasureville.....
ETweenie......dont feel ashamed for your lack of resistance againts that wall...she coudln't care less.....its the feeling what it matters...:-)
Luci...well....when its time to play i play.....dont you?
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hotaka said on Aug 03, 2007....
Wow! Good thing it wasn't the first date.
Once after some satin sheet action (not satin sheets actually but...) in a hotel somewhere I went to the bathroom in complete darkness to throw away the condom wrapped in a tissue. I could just make out the trash bin under the sink counter and bent down to make sure I tossed the package into the bin and not on the floor and I didn't see the edge of the counter. Wham! into the bridge of my nose went the edge of the counter. It really hurt and I had a mark for a week right between my eyes. It was embarrassing at the time because both K and I were starkers and I hoped my nose wasn't broken or in need of stitches and I didn't want to have to ring for emergency. Fortunately just the skin was scraped.
The other weekend we tried to do it in the shower and it was a bit awkward so I suggested I sit on the edge of the bathtub and she hop on. But my bathroom is a one-unit deal, a prefab type of plastic room that gets assembled in most Japanese apartments and the bathtub is not secured enough to the wall and floor to take the weight of two adults. The tub suddenly flipped and the two of us and the shampoo bottles went flying. Embarrassing moments? Yes. But they make life funny, don't they?
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travelr712 said on Aug 03, 2007....
Well, i put a good wrench in my neck once, but it was 'at the end', not the beginning. And i agree with everyone else, you have the funniest stories! -
LadyGamer said on Aug 03, 2007....
I've been the one with the concussion. Oh and let's talk about getting bent over a chair....that tips. THAT left some bruises! -
nursecutie said on Aug 04, 2007....
OMG.....LOL! I can't believe you posted this!! Not that I'm upset........I'm the one who told you to post about this yesterday and you said no. You said you felt too lame........but it's sooo funny!I always see couples do this sort of thing in movies and it looks so sexy.....I always wanted to be thrown up against a wall......I just never expected that my head would slam into it and a picture would fall off!! LOL! My head is fine, btw. ;)But some movie love scenes are not meant to be recreated I think. Not unless you are looking for comedy!! But what can I say? I love to laugh........so this was one of my favorite times because reading about this cracked me up!I just love how funny you are when you write stuff....You're so cute! :)Love you honey~xxoo natalie xxoops~You're still a stud! You finished didn't you? That's dedication!! ;)pps~All of these other stories were hilarious too!! -
PassionTraveler said on Aug 04, 2007....
Neither I nor my partner, ever really hurt themselves (at least they didn't admit it and hid it well.)
I can tell you though how funny was one of the early encounters with my FWB. We were in the throws of it, and all of a sudden, he really had to pass gas. He totally was trying to hold it in. I later learned he was thinking how totally embarrassing that would be for him. Especially since it was only the second time we'd been together. But he lost the battle. I'm on top of him, certainly exerting unnecessary pressure... and suddenly... RIIIPPPP... a real cheek flapper! There it went. He blushed, and apologized profusely. I just cracked up laughing and said don't worry about it. Just don't stop!
Since then, we don't let things like that bother us.
Try not to kill yourselves in the process, but God love you both for having fun with it! You two are a couple after my own heart!
PT
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destinydiva said on Aug 04, 2007....
that is hilarious evil..... sorry I will stop laughing at your expense in a minute :-)
hope the pain eases soon.....
Destiny xx
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EleanorR said on Aug 04, 2007....
Broken bed and carpet burn here! (Not at the same time obviously)
Haven't had much opportunity to hurt myself in hilarious ways considering my husband was my first, and I got pregnant 2 years later. We've become quite boring since we had kids. Not much opportunity for getting carpet burn from the living room floor these days!
But hey, we had kids early so by the time the kids move out we'll still only be in our 40's - still spry enough for potentially injury inflicting sex! lol!
Hope your back feels better soon!
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destinydiva said on Aug 04, 2007....
ooh my ex and me did break my mums dining room table once... got a bit wild on it.... yikes did i just admit that?????? lol
eleanore.... carpet burns...yep i had them... never broke a bed tho..... but i did use dressing gown belts to tie him tot the bed once and couldnt get one off then forgot about it ..the same day my mum came round !! :-)
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hotaka said on Aug 04, 2007....
My ex and I once set off the fire alarm in her dorm. It was a hot day and the windows were closed. I guess we steamed up the room too much. It was funny with me jumping up and down in the buff with a condom on, trying to disconnect the battery. -
rmuxagirl said on Aug 04, 2007....
oh my there evil. I tried hard not to laugh at this but I couldn't help it. As far as getting hurt during sex I can't say that I have been. Although my ex did hit his head against the wall in a hotel room once. -
queenparanoia said on Aug 04, 2007....
i'm so sorry evil but....whahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha shit shit shit!!!!!!!!!!!!hwhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahah.damn dude thanks for the sharing that!!!!!!!! whahahhahahahhahaha.youre right you need more exercise!!!! -
evil_twin said on Aug 04, 2007....
wombat--You broke a porch swing? That's hilarious! Hope his foot was okay...Did you guys finish? :-P
silver--You must have some seriously interesting single friends! See, most of my friends are married or attached...and the single ones usually call me to say they were shot down again and might just move to Tibet and join a monestary. I need to get better friends, huh? Although, the ones I have now might just make me feel better instead of worse!
Lucy--Thanks :-) That sounds like a real interesting time you had! Sometimes sex is tricky! :-P
Ginger--Those were great stories! Uh, I broke a bed once at my ex's parents vacation house! But the thing was, we weren't even doing anything at the time! We'd already finished like ten minutes before. We were laying there, and suddenly the entire bed frame just collapsed! And we were on the second floor, just above the breakfast table where everyone was eating. Explaining that was fun...!
tara--Well, the sex wasn't supposed to be quite this rough! :-P I don't think I'm cut out for that sort of thing...
botoni--That's hilarious! But see, the good thing about doing it with a doctor or a nurse, is that they can give you medical attention on the spot! But yeah, having to go to the ER and explain a sex related injury would be horrifying! And yes, stunt doubles for the movie... :-P
infernal--My back does feel a little better today :-) And who hasn't gotten a rug burn, right? I broke a bed too (see my comment to Ginger!) But the important thing is, you never stop!
Amy--I'm glad I'm not the only one who has failed at this standing up thing! They always make it look so easy on screen!
Ginger (again)--Wow, the bodybuilder story was interesting! But that didn't impress you? It sounds kinda hot, but at the same time, it sounds a little awkward too! I'm afraid I'm not big enough or strong enough to flip Natalie upside down like that! If I tried, I'd have to write another story like this one telling everyone about our new injuries!
hotaka--I was dying of laughter about the bathtub incident! I could see that very clearly in my mind...hilarious! But that's another sex scene that looks so hot on film, and in actuality is very hard to pull off. Sex in a shower. Impossible! Not if you want to live to tell the tale. You can mess around in there, and do certain things....but actual sex? Too slippery and small and I'd probably crack my head open on the tile! All of your stories were great :-)
travelr--Thanks :-) I'm glad my stories are entertaining!
ladygamer--Bent over a chair? I can definitely see how that is a tragedy waiting to happen! Did you break the chair? :-P
cutie--When did you read this?? Was I asleep? I guess wine and pain pills will do that to a person...but yes, I know I said I wasn't going to write about it, but I couldn't help myself! It was too funny not to share. And thank you for boosting my ego by saying I'm still a stud! :-P I did get the job done, didn't I?
PT--Oh my God...he farted? I'm dying here! That's definitely not the moment to break wind. At least you were a good sport about it. Sometimes you just can't hold that in! At least your face wasn't down in that region when it happened, because then you might have had a different reaction! :-P
destiny--Feel free to laugh :-P And I do feel better today! I'll be back up to speed in no time! And breaking a table is a good one!
Eleanor--I'm sure that once your kids are grown, you guys will be breaking furniture again!
rmuxagirl--I'm glad you've never been hurt! It seems like everyone has at least hit their head though...that's easy to do :-P
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evil_twin said on Aug 04, 2007....
queen--I'm glad you enjoyed that! :-P I think I should join a gym, huh? And I'll tell the place that I don't care about being healthier or any of that. I just want to be in shape so I can have crazy sex without hurting myself! -
queenparanoia said on Aug 04, 2007....
eviltwin maybe yo shoul try this then.... =) -
Mamie said on Aug 04, 2007....
OMIGOD! You two are hysterical!! Good luck with your concusiion, Nat! I think that is too funny, ET! But very creative on your part, hahahahaha...we've been married for long enough to know that you shouldn't waste the hand sanitizer, nor mess with the art collections....wait, maybe I will steal this idea and surprise Mr. Mamie...thanks! -
evil_twin said on Aug 04, 2007....
queen--The Kama Sutra! See, if I tried doing those moves, I'd probably kill myself! But I'm gonna look at it anyway....they can't all be that hard to pull off, right? ;-)
mamie--I'm glad you enjoyed this! If you steal this idea, just have the first aid kit ready! You might need it. Then you need to blog about it so I can laugh :-P
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gingersoul said on Aug 04, 2007....
ETweenie.......you crack me up....:-D....
Please, dont try the Kama Sutra now......get a little more flexible...beside its sexual hoola hoola some of its positions are more apt for some Cirque du Soleil acrobat. (Dont you think so, Ed?..*wink*).
Naturally, i bought the book when i was young and i dutily attempted to copy some of its stunts....it also happened that i got some of those positions to discover only later they were figured in the book....kinda like..i got this and this and this...LOL..
Uhmm...and its only lunch time here, folks...:-D
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evil_twin said on Aug 04, 2007....
Ginger--Natalie does yoga so I think she's more ready for the Kama Sutra than me! Maybe I should take a class with her? :-P And really, for me, I find that trying to do a fancy position with legs and arms over your head, or twisted in knots, is distracting! I'm worried that she can't breathe or that she's in pain, or that we look really stupid, and I can't concentrate! I kinda prefer the old fashioned positions....does that make me boring? -
gingersoul said on Aug 04, 2007....
ETweenie...are you kidding? And, btw, what more romantic and intense that the classic missionary position where you can stare in your lover's eyes, kissing for hours while your hands are free to touch?.....
There is nothing boring in making love with the person you truly love....:-)
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evil_twin said on Aug 04, 2007....
Ginger--Thank you for that :-) I'm always worried that I'm dull when it comes to sex stuff. But I agree with everything you said! I love looking into her eyes and feeling her under me...I mean, it doesn't get better than that! And kissing is essential. I love to kiss... -
hotaka said on Aug 04, 2007....
Now I see what K was talking about. She read this post and most of the comments I think. She thought it was funny that I posted about the bathtub. EvilT, did you really try to picture everything clearly? ;)
K said she loves kissing too. That's what makes morning sex difficult. We are both concerned about our breath!
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evil_twin said on Aug 04, 2007....
hotaka--Well, I didn't picture YOU that clearly. :-P That part was blurred out in my mind....but the bathtub falling over and shampoo everywhere? Yup! Hilarious! I'm glad K is reading too! That's cool. And about the morning kissing...get some Altoids and stick them by the bed. That's what we do! Just pop a few of those in your mouths, and you're good to go! -
queenparanoia said on Aug 04, 2007....
well i know it would not be hard if you and natalie would be practicing it! =) -
ZsuzsiO said on Aug 05, 2007....
Wow, what a laugh you all gave me! I mean , all of these stories are jut so funny. I've had my share of carpit burns and head bumping - just a couple of days ago I've got hit on the head with my own heavy belt, and had a bruise right next to my eye for days. It was unexpected and really painfull, and the worst part is that he didn't even care. I was holding my head and he was keep pumping.... But at least it helped me to forget about it real fast.I've also had a cut on my ankle once when my ex tied me to the bed with a soe lace. I don't know if he tied it too strong or the soe lace was too thin, but it did cut the sking by the time we stopped.But when it comes to funny sex stories I always think about my childhood friends who were having sexual relationship for the first time in their lives, and wanted to try everything possible in the excitment. They've got into the bath tub which was so close to the wall that each time he pushed she got hit on the head. I don't know why they kept on going, but they did, and the poor girl had to lay down when it was over, cause her head hurted so much. Interestingly enough, they've told us this story as one of their best sex at the time.....My funny storry happened not long ago, but there was no pain involved - only shame. I;ve got drunk in a club with my boyfriend and we did it in the car in the parking lot. Than he took me to this epty parking lot, that is on the top of a hill, and basically empty, and we did it on the top of the car. It was hot, and beautiful, but the next day we've passed there I've realised that the clubs parking lot was extremely public, and the one up on the hill was infront of a temple that has cameras looking at the parking lot..... I don't know how I was capable of doing something shameless, but I don't mind. It was really worth it.... -
inspiration2jms said on Aug 05, 2007....
Well you will love this one evil_twin.
I drove a truck for several years. There was one weekend that I had gone on a date with a man that I had been seeing off and on for a while. For the most part he bugged me until I went out with him. Long story short - he was good in bed and I had been single for three years, did not have anything to do with other truckers, you get the picture.
On this particular night I was going to have to leave right after we had dinner at a restaurant that was close to where I parked the truck. We had gone to a comedy show first. When he took me back to the truck stop it was about midnight. He parked in the auto lot out front of the building. We walked across a grassy area and into the truck parking lot. I had worn a backless sun dress that tied at the neck. Feeling frisky and playful, (he liked catching me off guard when he could accomplish it) he got behind me when we were still half way from the building to where the first row of trucks was parked. I was on the third row.
He reached up and pulled one end of the tie and the dress came apart, it was almost poetic, the way it kind of drifted to the ground as I continued to walk at my normal pace. I stepped out of the dress in as smoothly a manner as the dress had drifted to the ground and continued walking as though nothing were in any way out of place.
Imagine me walking across this lot, well lit I might add, wearing nothing but thigh high stockings, spiked heels, a necklace and carrying my purse. (I do not waste money or time on underwear). It was such a turn-on for us both.
When I got to my truck I had already taken the key from my purse and drove it into the lock when the dude grabbed me, moved me about two steps to my right and bent me over the fuel tanks.
We were both having a great time when one of my chains and binders came away from the headache rack and bashed me in the back of my head.
I remember ole boy hollerin', "I am so sorry babe, but I just can't stop inowwwpwowowow, mmmmmm." Then he took me to the hospital to have my head sewn up.
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botoni said on Aug 05, 2007....
I have nothing to top any of these stories but I do have one that Nursecutie might enjoy. My ex (remember he was also a BofN) and I were playing one afternoon. I had him tied spread eagle on the antique brass bed and was teasing him with ice cubes. The phone rang. I cannot resist a ringing phone. The voice on the other end was definately the manager of his nursing unit. I knew she wanted him to come to work. I said: "I m sorry he's tied up but maybe I can get the phone to him." He was laughing so hard he couldnt talk to her!
My other related tale involves not resisting the phone while in the middle of doing the nasty. I asked the person on the other end if I could call back. She wasnt at her regular number so I had to write it down. Of course nothing on the night table but a felt marker and no paper. So I wrote the number on his back. Honest I didnt realize it was a permanent marker! -
evil_twin said on Aug 05, 2007....
queen--Yes, practice makes perfect! :-)
Zsuzsi--Those were funny stories! More people get hurt doing this than I thought :-P And doing it in front of security camera was certainly embarrassing, wasn't it?
inspiration--That was too funny! Ouch! That sounded like it hurt a lot. But of course he kept going. I guess when you're that close, you just can't stop! :-P
botoni--That's hilarious! Well, you were being totally honest on the phone. He was tied up! And writing the phone number on his back? Too funny. You really need to take the phone off the hook during these moments! :-P
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amyispretty said on Aug 06, 2007....
@ Ginger, holyshit, I just read what you wrote about the body builder. It was almost hot at first, but when you said it was boring it became all too easy to imagine his lack of oral skills. I'm guessing he didn't make up for it either, if you never spoke to him again. I'm told most body builders have steroid shrunken iddy biddy diddies.
And yah E.T., they DO make it look so easy on tv. I bet that as soon as the camera stops rolling everyone collapses into a heap on the floor, gasping for air.
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vivian2007 said on Aug 09, 2007....
Dude, you made me laugh to tears... You just wanna try some fresh things during sex but you were hurted....Maybe that sex with your love can lead you to marriage? Just wanna post your story on a site called wealthyromance.com, a site dedicated to wealthy men and beautiful women, people here seem like this kind of serious and funny story! -
evil_twin said on Aug 09, 2007....
Amy--You're probably right!
Vivian--I'm really glad you enjoyed reading this. But I am already engaged to be married. And I would really appreciate it if you didn't post my story on your website. Was that was you were saying? Or that I should post it there? Either way, I prefer to keep my blogs here at Soulcast.
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karta.devera said on Nov 25, 2007....
What a lovely story!
:))
Um...I don't think you had trouble holding her up coz you aren't muscular enough though, how tall are both of you?
If Nat's not that shorter than you, even if she's not a big girl you
will have trouble unless you're a professional athlete, or something.I
could be worng, yah, I've spent last 24 hourse crying and/or working at
my computer screen. Maybe you are just a really poor lover, lol.
Kidding----Just kidding.:))
I can't say I ever got injured during sex or my partners, sheer luck I suppose.
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evil_twin said on Nov 25, 2007....
karta--I hope I'm not a poor lover! Yikes. That hurts the old ego. But standing up against the wall was tricky. She's not that much shorter than me, so I guess that did have something to do with it. -
karta.devera said on Nov 25, 2007....
There you have it:))
I thought that was it.
Don't worry you don't sound like a poor lover.
I am sure you two are doing more than fine even without the acrobatic wall sex.
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evil_twin said on Nov 25, 2007....
karta--We seem to be doing quite well. We just get creative in ways that don't involve me injuring myself!
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