Carlos had a squarish, bald head and large ears. He always wore the same thing, blue shorts, a blue tank-top, and a white helmet with a tin-foil antenna sticking out of it. No matter what the weather, this is what he wore. I knew him when I lived in CT, so as you can imagine, it gets mighty cold. 30 below zero with the wind chill factor. One cold winter morning I woke up and grabbed the paper. Guess who was on the front page, shoveling snow in a blizzard wearing shorts and a tank-top? You got it, it was Carlos. They were talking about how he had some weird skin disease, and he never felt the cold.

I only came into contact with Carlos a few times, but each incident is engraved deep in my memory, in the space I like to call, 'I wish I could rip my eyes out and never see again.'

1. My friend and I were at the park. There is a small polluted lake in the middle of the park. It smells like dirty feet mixed with really rotten vegetables. We couldn't help but notice that someone was swimming in it. We doubled over laughing. It was all fun and games until Carlos got out of the lake and whipped his dick out.

2. Another friend and I were sitting on her roof late one night, smoking. Carlos kept riding by on his bike, back and forth, back and forth. We decided he was trying to get us to use him as target practice. We got together some ammo consisting of a bunch of dice, dominoes and small rocks. We pegged them at him as he drove by. They made clicking sounds as they bounced off his helmet. We did this every night for a long time. One night he stopped and told us he was from the moon.

3. I was walking down the road with some friends when we happened upon Carlos, lying in the middle of the road with his bike kind of on top of him. He said he had been hit by a car. We all laughed and just kept walking. A min. or so later he got up and rode his bike away.

My hometown had a flasher too. He got me a few times. I wonder whatever happened to that crazy fool!!