sorry guys if until now i didn't post about my mothers birthday. it's just that i'm a little angry about it and well it's another blog. anyway today i want to post about something that happened to me on our acquaintance party last saturday. it was held on a beach resort.
it was really fun actually. of course the queen dance on the program! and we won first place! (we had a talent contest!) i'll post the video next time since i use my camera phone and i still need to buy a software that can convert the videos. anyway after the progam we went swimming.
my classmates were goofing around in the beach and played in the water.
and me?
i went into the water. went until the water was on my neck level and just stood there.
i still remember the day he died...
i still remember the tears...
i still remember the sadness...
i still remember him...
there i was on the water just standing there. cursing the sea.
why did you took him? why? the questions flooded my mind until i couldn't think straight.
but still the i was in the water just standing there and letting the waves carry me.
at the moment i want to be with him... i know it was foolish. i know it was wrong. but something pulled me back.
there i was in the water just standing there. i ignore the noise around me because all i hear is the laughter of friends. i just stood there feeling the seawater.
i know it was crazy that i went into the water. but i have to.
i have to let him go. to finally let him go. to finally accept the fact that he was gone.
so i stood there not moving another inch. just letting the waves carry me.
yes. i said my goodbyes. i no longer feel sad whenever i see the ocean. athough i still could not take myself to the place where he drowned.
just one small step at a time. i would let him go slowly.
after that i swam ashore and i went to my friend whom i confided about this. she just looked at me and said she knows why i was so emotional. and she knows it was my process of letting go.
yeah. i was letting him go.
i played with my friends younger brother and took some pictures with my camera phone. after that my classmates bought something alcoholic to drink and i got a little drunk. =)
yeah it was a fun day. but i know he was there with us all the time. and that really made me happy. =)
here are some photos that i took...
ok i was a little drunk in this picture... =)
this is me before i went swimming...
i took this picture while i was laying on a bench made of bamboo and this was the roof...
a picture of the sea...
on that day it was a little cloudy. yet i found the place so peaceful. i felt his presence... i felt he was contented and that made me feel better. yes, it was time to let him go. he was a great friend and phenomenal human being. he touched so many lives. and i know right now he's happy in heaven. and i know right now his telling me to stop crying and continue living my life. although i can't help crying...
i still miss him.
my friend, my angel... Rafael...
keep on blogging soulcasters!!! =)
