The defining qualities of true manhood: what are they?
I picture a man to be a leader, first and foremost. Someone who will take charge in a situation and lead others through instruction or by example.
In order to do that, that man must have strong convictions and values that drive their actions: they not only know what to do, but exactly why they're doing it.
A man respects life, and encourages others to enjoy and respect themselves, as well. He gives life to others by encouragement.
A real man seeks out injustice and exposes it clearly, not content with someone to be robbed of their needs or their dignity.
He is not measuring his manhood by what he can bench press or who he can sleep with, but with the ability to carry those who are wounded, and to protect and cherish his wife and the women in his life.
A real man does not have vices in his life like anger, bitterness, alcohol, sexual addiction, or foolish pride; rather, he is a free man with a high level of self-control that knows what his limits are and goes through each day without being tied to his weaknesses.
A real man's life is paved with strong friendships with those who do not drag him down, a loving family that he helped nurture, a long line of good decisions made, a lack of regrets, and a life of purpose.
I picture a man who will seek the best for others, even if it means sacrificing time, wealth, or part of himself to do so. A man with a boundless love for his fellow man, who uses knowledge to bless others, rather than lording it over them.
This man would care for children, whether they are his or not. Who cares for the needs of those who can't live freely by themselves. A man that lifts up others and leaves a legacy of love and respect.
A real man will know his true calling in life and pursue it endlessly, yet still has the presence of mind to honor the friends and family that support him in good times and bad.
A real man knows how to celebrate joyful occasions, and can grieve appropriately at loss. He does not take his frustrations out on others, and does not live a life that causes them to stumble or fall into vices themselves.
This man has an ironclad, unshakable reason to hope and believe the best will happen for his life and that he can make a difference for others. This man is at peace with himself and honest about his deficiencies, and life is an ongoing journey in which he constantly strives to learn.
He keeps laughing with a heart that is young even while his body ages and declines. He is needed and sought after by others who need direction, and he leads them well. Above all, he loves his fellow man unconditionally.
What things do you see in men in your life that exemplify the core of what real manhood is all about?
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lidstrom82 posted on Aug 01, 2007
| views: 397
Comments
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fearing said on Aug 01, 2007....
I don't think I could add any more. Well done sir, well done. -
uniquely-ironic said on Aug 01, 2007....
What a beautiful blog. -
jadestar said on Aug 02, 2007....
may I add?A real man has a contrite heart.A real man reasons with God.A real man respects a real woman.A real man acknowledges that he is pretty much the same as a real woman, except for a few obvious differences.A real man knows that in the Kingdom of Heaven there is no male or female, no slave or free........A real man acknowledges that we all must give account to God.oh dear, I do go on a bit.......... -
jadestar said on Aug 02, 2007....
Men in my life, unfortunately have been abusive or abandoning.But I met this Man.......actually, it was like I met Him sitting at a well.................... -
kruuyai said on Aug 02, 2007....
You could generalize this and say that these are the qualities of real human beings. Why limit it to men? -
lidstrom82 said on Aug 02, 2007....
You're right, you could generalize it to everyone to a degree. But this message is specifically for men, living in a Homer Simpson age of men losing the direction and authority they are supposed to give to the world. Men are built to lead, but they follow all too often. In effect, this is a "call to arms" for the leadership and gentleness men are capable of. If you wish to add in your own words, kruuyai, then by all means go for it :) -
kruuyai said on Aug 02, 2007....
Well, I just think, and what I may not have succeeded in expressing, is that these qualities do not just describe manhood. Any good person can and should have these qualities, and I think that people can be leaders, regardless of their gender. I do understand what you're trying to do here... to do away with some of the macho mythology that defines "manhood" for so many, and I applaud that. I just like to keep things balanced. ;-) -
muckpar said on Aug 02, 2007....
Wow what a list, truly awesome, well said. -
silverwhisper said on Aug 03, 2007....
see, i'm not entirely sure that a real man always should lead--i think a real man knows when he should follow someone else's lead.
ed -
jadestar said on Aug 03, 2007....
well said silver - I like that too -
silverwhisper said on Aug 03, 2007....
sorry: i meant to add that otherwise, i am in agreement with the list, lidstrom. and thank you, jadestar.
ed -
lidstrom82 said on Aug 03, 2007....
That's a great insight, silver...you touched upon servant leadership, which is leading by attending to the needs of those who are following. It also means deferring to others - you can't go around being power hungry, dudes :) This was actually touched upon in the post, though in less direct terms:
"I picture a man who will seek the best for others, even if it means sacrificing time, wealth, or part of himself to do so."
Greater love has no man than this, that he gives up his life for his friends.
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silverwhisper said on Aug 03, 2007....
i was in fact surprised you didn't touch upon that scripture myself, lidstrom. :>
ed -
jadestar said on Aug 06, 2007....
...um......lidstrom......was my comment off base?......off the wall?..........off the charts?I was just wondering 'cos it was left off of your replies.....? -
lidstrom82 said on Aug 06, 2007....
Hey jadestar...I didn't find anything wrong at all with any of your comments or posts. I'm sorry that I hadn't spoken to your words, I might have just missed them while scrolling around :)
I think what some of the comments have pointed to is that regardless of gender, there are core values that make someone the quintessential human being, so to speak. I find it interesting that a common post on what makes a real man was a bit nitpicked in the spirit of applying the words to women. I say that because kruuyai picked up on how the qualities mentioned could apply to women, and silver came up with a few thoughts on it. Needless to say, you speak some truth and it gets analyzed.
I like your comments, jade...it brings a spiritual sense to the words and gets closer to the heart of the matter...a real man is such because he has a love of and respect for God.
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lidstrom82 said on Aug 14, 2007....
Hey jd! What defines that gender role? -
lidstrom82 said on Aug 15, 2007....
I think what I meant was, your first post was a bit cryptic, and I wanted to know what was behind it. I'm just trying to understand where you're coming from. Are you spiting what a "real man" is defined by (knowing his gender role and despising all else)? Or are you considering yourself less than your definition of a real man?
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