pickersplock's tags:
pickersplock's most popular posts:
pickersplock reads (157):
Who's reading pickersplock (198):

So You Need A Stalker?

pickersplock posted on Jul 31, 2007 | views: 807 | Tags: having fun, LOL, having fun stalker weirdo fuckface, ego boost
Do you feel left out?
Do you see stories in the paper of celebrities being stalked, and are you envious?
Don't you wish you could have a stalker of your very own?
Well, your problems are over, my friend!
We at Cyber Stalkers are here to provide all your stalking needs!
For a mere $8.65 a week, we will provide you with a cyber stalker of your very own!
For just a few dollars more, the deluxe stalker can be yours.
Our Deluxe Stalker will:
write creepy comments on all of your posts
comment on the comments you leave on other posts
pm you no less than 50 times a day
write 3 posts a day professing his/her love for you
 
Yes, all this can be yours!
Don't delay, stalkers are standing by!
 
 
 


send to a friend del.icio.us Digg reddit StumbleUpon

Comments

  • MissMimi said on Jul 31, 2007....
    Ooooh, me me me!!   This is such a fabulous idea, I might want two!  Do you take plastic?
  • pickersplock said on Jul 31, 2007....
    You may want to take advantage of our buy one get one half off deal, MissMimi
    Twice the stalking at a price you can afford!
  • MissMimi said on Jul 31, 2007....
    Do you offer gift certificates?  It's the perfect gift for the person who has everything.
     
    I'll take two.  No psychopaths, please.
  • pickersplock said on Jul 31, 2007....
    Of course we offer gift certificates!
    Two it is.  We're running a $15 special this evening.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    warning: not responsible for strange phone calls at 3:00 AM, threats by mail,
    or other unusual behavior!
  • botoni said on Jul 31, 2007....
    Pickers! When did you meet my ex? Irrespective of what you are paying him its to much! Uhmmm....maybe not he was definately a very efficient stalker.
  • pickersplock said on Jul 31, 2007....
    Does he by any chance wear green tennis shoes, chew gum incessantly, and does he want everyone to call him Ice C when his real name is Bernie Doinkman?
  • botoni said on Jul 31, 2007....
    LOL.....nope thats the other one.
  • fearing said on Aug 01, 2007....
    $8.65 a week huh?  And to think I was doing it for free!
    Any job openings?

  • pickersplock said on Aug 01, 2007....
    Can you provide references?
    Botoni, does he spend a lot of time in the hiding bushes with night vision goggles and a blackberry, and clear his throat and spit every time someone walks by?
  • queenparanoia said on Aug 01, 2007....
    this is fun but actually i already have a stalker... =) i don't where he is now though...
  • botoni said on Aug 01, 2007....
    Now that you mention Pickers he seemed to spend a lot of time in the bushes. Lets not go into THAT! lol. No blackberry but a cellphone permanantly attached to his head. Does that count?
  • rightwingwizard said on Aug 01, 2007....
    I have no real need for a stalker at the moment, but should the need arise I'll be sure to keep your agency in mind.  I must warn you however that the last stalker I encountered spent several days in the hospital.   Seems a well placed bear trap serves as a mild deterent.
     
    rww
  • tizzygirl said on Aug 01, 2007....
    Can I provide the stalker removal service after y'all get sick of them?? (hey pickersplock we can work together on this and maybe make a killing!!  If all works out can I have a tiara too?)
  • pickersplock said on Aug 01, 2007....
    Queen, if your stalker should ever leave you high and dry, please keep us in mind.
    Botoni, I think the blackberry was a recent purchase.  Small world, huh?
    Righty, don't play dumb with me, mister!  I know you're the best stalker we've got at the moment!
    Tizzy, let's see............Botoni wants the Thursday tiara, and I offered Destiny the
    Tuesday.  You can have the Wednesday.
  • anonymous said on Aug 01, 2007....
    I want one. Oh.
  • botoni said on Aug 01, 2007....
    Pickers.....the toad hasnt been stalking much of late. He s found a new way to annoy though. Now he s got bill collectors calling me looking for him! grrr.... Personally I think thats very unprofessional stalking. Does your agency support such tactics?
  • pickersplock said on Aug 01, 2007....
    Bill collectors? No way.  All our stalkers are professional and self sufficient!
    Botty, I've got my own stalker, anonymous.  He/She is busy stalking me here:
    Feel free to join us!
  • anonymous said on Aug 01, 2007....
    You give yourself way too much credit. I am not stalking you. I am simply commenting on your post.
  • Daniel68 said on Aug 02, 2007....
    Yeah, he's just some asswipe without a name or a face commenting on your post. It's not creepy or weird at all. 
  • pickersplock said on Aug 02, 2007....
    I'm still curious as to who it is.
  • destinydiva said on Aug 03, 2007....
    pickers you totally crack me up!!!!!!!   :-)  so how do I apply for my own official stawker???????

    destiny xx
  • mom said on Aug 03, 2007....
    Man, where do I sign up, I think this is the answer to my boredom.
  • pickersplock said on Aug 03, 2007....
    Destiny, I do my best.
    Just pick a stalker from our catalogue, plunk down your $8.65, and voila.
    I would highly recommend Benny, not only will he become totally obsessed with you, he'll do your laundry.  Buy lots of socks and underwear though because you may find yourself running low on those, oh, and he likes to smell your shoes.  If you leave them out from time to time, you may find he'll stalk you for free! 
  • botoni said on Aug 03, 2007....
    Pickers dear, if you can find me a stalker withan obsession for dusting we may be able to negotiate a deal. BTW.......Does the Thursday tiara need to be properly shined before use or is that already done? I ll be sure to return it at full glow.
  • pickersplock said on Aug 03, 2007....
    My tiara man comes every Wednesday, prescisely at 2:30, so it'll be all ready to go! ~^~  Dusting? I've got a guy who collects dust bunnies, will he do?  Just want to warn you he loves to break in and lick the silverwear in your sink, so make sure you keep that dishwasher running!
  • botoni said on Aug 03, 2007....
    Is his name on SoulCast Silverlicker.....or something like that?
  • mom said on Aug 03, 2007....
    *raises her hand*  I can volunteer to be a stalker.  I would even volunteer my time and I don't ask to be paid for overtime.
  • MissMimi said on Aug 03, 2007....
    I want mom to stalk me!
  • mom said on Aug 03, 2007....
    Mimi- LOL I already do!
  • MissMimi said on Aug 03, 2007....

    Oooooh...  Kinky!  LOL

  • pickersplock said on Aug 03, 2007....
    Oh, botoni, that was bad of you.  I am laughing really hard here!
    Mom, what are your qualifications?  I will, of course need references!
    I'm trying to think of a song with walking in it, to use for our ads........oh, how about that Patsy Kline song, just replace walking, with stalking:
     
    I go out stalking after midnight,
    Out in the moonlight just like we used to do.
    I'm always
    stalking after midnight,
    Searching for you.

    I walk for miles along the highway,
    Well that's just my way of saying I love you.
    I'm always stalking after midnight,
    Searching for you.
    What do you think?
  • botoni said on Aug 03, 2007....
    Wont you sing me another somebody dun somebody wrong song?.....hehehehe
  • mom said on Aug 03, 2007....
    MissMimi- :)  Watch yourself

    Pickers- well I am needy, and I have a creative imagination so if a person doesn't like me or wants me to stay away, I can convince myself they are playing hard to get.  I start every day singing "With every breath you take", I always start all my phone calls with heavy breathing.  I have all kinds of letters cut out from magazines with glue handy and a ream of paper close by.  I also have a really good camera and I feel really naughty when I spy.
  • pickersplock said on Aug 03, 2007....
    Sorry, I was doing some stalking of my own.
    I know a secret!
  • mom said on Aug 03, 2007....
    PP- you little dickens.
  • anonymous said on Aug 04, 2007....
    The secret.
  • pickersplock said on Aug 04, 2007....
    Okay, if you say so anonymous.
  • anonymous said on Aug 04, 2007....
    no, seriously. who am i.
  • pickersplock said on Aug 04, 2007....
    Elvis?
  • anonymous said on Aug 04, 2007....
    exactly.
  • pickersplock said on Aug 04, 2007....
    Told you so!  How's everything going up there in heaven, or are you alive and well and living in Montana?
  • anonymous said on Aug 04, 2007....
    wyoming. and it's great.
  • pickersplock said on Aug 04, 2007....
    Are you sure, it's not UTAH?
  • anonymous said on Aug 04, 2007....
    nah, mormons are too freaky for me.
  • pickersplock said on Aug 04, 2007....
    So why are you anonymous, anonymous?  What are you afraid of?
  • anonymous said on Aug 04, 2007....
    jesus.
  • anonymous said on Aug 04, 2007....
    he is looking for me.
  • anonymous said on Aug 04, 2007....
    if i hide on your blog he will never find me.
  • anonymous said on Aug 04, 2007....
    and you can't tell him i am here because you do not know who i am. or, maybe you do.
  • anonymous said on Aug 04, 2007....
     its gotta be lucky or jd??
  • pickersplock said on Aug 04, 2007....
    Perhaps, you could look for some pharmaceutical solutions to your problem, or was that the problem to begin with?
    Besides, if Jesus wants to find you, believe me, hiding here won't do any good.
    He's really a good guy if you get to know him.  Don't listen to all the propaganda out there.  He's all, love thy neighbor and turn the other cheek, and give to the poor, and forgive.  How can you be afraid of that?
  • anonymous said on Aug 04, 2007....
    it's lucky. how did you guess. or, maybe it's jd. or, maybe you.
  • pickersplock said on Aug 04, 2007....
    Nope, it's not lucky or JD, or cam, or sithy, or hottips!
  • anonymous said on Aug 04, 2007....
    either way you are getting a lot comments on your post and for no apparent reason. hmm...
  • pickersplock said on Aug 04, 2007....
    I know it's not me, I've seen me, and believe me, I'd know me anywhere!
  • pickersplock said on Aug 04, 2007....
    Hey too bad I don't have google adsense.  Although I've heard you don't make that much money anyway, so why bother?
  • anonymous said on Aug 04, 2007....
    true that, picker.
  • pickersplock said on Aug 04, 2007....
    So, who are you?  PM me, if you don't want to advertise.  This anon stuff is just too creepy.
  • anonymous said on Aug 04, 2007....
    i already am advertising. maybe, i will pm you tomorrow. have a good night.
  • pickersplock said on Aug 04, 2007....
    Ha, I knew it! 
  • LloydTheBarber said on Aug 07, 2007....
    I could really use a stalker at this point in time. I think it would be great for my self esteem to have somebody who was totally fucken obsessed with me!! I dont think i would want to pay for the stalking though, it wouldnt seem nearly as genuine as having somebody obsessing over me for free. When my stalker drives by my house 40 times a day i want it to be because they are completely in love/hate with me.....Plus, i dont really have the extra 8 dollars a week 
  • pickersplock said on Aug 07, 2007....
    Perhaps we could let you use one of our interns?

Comment on "So You Need A Stalker?"


(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)

Shopping Help

uniquely-ironic posted 6 days ago | views: 1339 | Tags: gift, people, =D, gifts, clues, LOL
I need some help.... read entire post 37 comments

Holy fuckshit.

writergrrl posted on Oct 31, 2009 | views: 145 | Tags: thoughts, life, random, good, LOL
I'm awsome..... read entire post 20 comments

Clothes shopping

seer posted on Oct 23, 2009 | views: 71 | Tags: LOL, clothes, OoOooO
Seeing as I'm temporarily not a biker I have a dilemma.

Now I have a car I need to wear clothes. I mean I wore clothes on the bike, biker T shirts, jeans/leather trousers, hoodies and a leather jacket. And boots.

But now I'm not ... read entire post 9 comments

Making T-Shirts

Mr.Strange posted on Nov 06, 2009 | views: 148 | Tags: Allan Strange, hoodie, TAG-O-MATIC, LOL, funny, glee
I got together with a few friends and were designing t-shirts.

I put some up on a site please pass it around.... read entire post 29 comments