• sweet_cookie01 said on Jul 30, 2007....

  whats with the weight?! that i cannot understand... my youngest sister who is 15 years younger than me is weighs heavier than me and all i can hear from my mom and step dad is... control your weight...

  yeah she is big for her age and yes she is over weight but she is pretty and smart... i do tell her "hey you are getting bigger!" but i dont force her to diet... its her choice and its her body... and she is actually more gutsy on what she wears than i do!!!

  i too tend to be conscious of my weight... not because i want to be thin like the people in the magazine but because i am not suppose to gain weight more than what my back can handle...

  queen... whats important is what you have in your heart!... as long as you have the guts to wear what you want and "carry mo!" then by all means eat what you want!...LOL....

• queenparanoia said on Jul 30, 2007....

  thanks sweet... but i'm deciding to eat more healthy... =)

• rupert7 said on Jul 30, 2007....

  queenP - skinny girls are not beautiful, they are just skinny!! I think you are beautiful,if you don't mind my saying so! Just get rid of the negatives! think positive!! With the right attitude you can do and be anything you want!

• evil_twin said on Jul 30, 2007....

  I'm so sorry that your own family is always on your case to lose weight. That amazes me that they'd be so unsupportive of you. I don't even think your fat. And just so you know, those models you see in the magazines, they're not as perfect as they look. They're airbrushed beyond belief. Trust me. I've seen models in person and most of them are way too thin, and they don't look healthy.
  
  Just be happy with yourself, and if that means losing some weight, then do it for you. But don't let anyone else make you feel like you have to. Being thin doesn't equal being happy. It's too bad your family can't realize that.
  
  -evil_twin LA
  

• queenparanoia said on Jul 30, 2007....

  thanks rupert!

  eviltwin. i know they don't mean harm i guess their approach for me is all wrong. anyway thank you for that... =)

• minniemouse said on Jul 30, 2007....

  There is more to being beautiful than what is on the outside.  Easy to say, hard to really belive, I know.  You need to be happy with you and who you are and don't berate yourself for not living up to someone else's expectations.  Set your own goals and strive for them only if they make YOU happy.  Queenie....you are a beautiful, caring person on the inside and the outside!  {{{{hugs}}}  Minnie

• silverwhisper said on Jul 30, 2007....

  queen, you're taking exactly the right approach here. i'm proud for you.
  
  :>
  
  ed

• DesertMermaid said on Jul 30, 2007....

  Hello queen, I would like to share something with you in the hope that it may help you a little in someway.

  Well actualy ah.. ( 1st promise that you wont hate me ok! ) ~ I'm kinda skinny. Well I used to be. But for me it doesnt equate to being happy. In fact I started eating 2 bananas regularly and 10 glasses of water to gain weight. I used to feel guilty when I skipped that, same way as others feel about an extra ice cream or pastry!

  Actually more than skinny, I look much younger than my age. My face just looks immatured and well.. innocent! I take great pains to change that cuteness into something like 'i mean business'~ you know the rough and tough kind as I dont like looking fragile. One reason of my having waist length hair is so that I look older and imp. I dress up and use make up in a way to help me achieve that look. You know, Its not amusing when people look at you as if you are at the wrong place when in a bar and all !

  Ok all this may seem weird but thats how it is. The grass is rarely greener on the other side right! But its real brave of you to be determined to make changes. I love that.Hats off :)

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 30, 2007....

  When I was younger my family pushed me relentlessly to gain weight.  I wasn't sick, just thin.  Now I find myself with a little extra weight and my BF is pushing me to lose it.  I'm not sure why people need to think that their opinion of your shape is important.  It isn't.
   
  If YOU want to eat healthier, do better in school, etc. than I think that's great!  The important thing is that you don't make yourself miserable doing it.
   
  I used to think that looks were what's important to me, since all the magazines in the world tell you that if you're pretty the world lays at your feet.  What I ended up discovering is that it's the personality, kindness, heart and "glow" of a person that draws me to them.
   
  You have plenty of all of the above.

• wombat said on Jul 30, 2007....

  I can't top these wonderful comments, and I won't try.  Those magazine photos are just an exageration on a false sense of "perception."  Like the silly clothes they wear on the runway.  I got the chance to go to Paris once on a day trip.  I was looking for all these "models" and such.  I didn't see any.  They were probably at home wanting to binge on cheesecake and bread, while they were checking their faces for pimples.  We need a magazine for real women!  And clothes on hangers at stores that actually fit--not clingy, sawed-off fabric that says "med" or "large" but is really small.  You are just fine the way you are.  It's everybody else....ha...

• pickersplock said on Jul 30, 2007....

  Beautiful picture, queen!

• the_infernal_optimist said on Jul 30, 2007....

  You are beautiful - and the fact that you choose NOT to try to be like those twiggy, scarecrow-like models says a lot for you, too. :)
  
  And as for the magazine photos - you wouldn't believe the difference Photoshop makes. That ain't all God-given, honey! They trim and trim some more, sculpt and blur and enhance exactly what they want to show instead of what's there.
  
  If you don't believe me, Google "Faith Hill" and Redbook and see if you don't stumble across a recent controversy there. They mutilated this beautiful woman's picture into something inhuman for their July cover.
  
  Until the day comes when the media stops telling us we'll never be thin or pretty enough, it's up to us to say, "Enough! I like me the way I am!"
  
  It sounds like that's exactly what you're doing. :)
  
  ~Infernal
  

• kruuyai said on Jul 30, 2007....

  queen!  This was a joy to read.  I loved seeing your transformation from insecurity to loving yourself.  Keep up the good work!  {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

• travelr712 said on Jul 30, 2007....

  I for one happen to prefer women who are voluptuous. Skinny is just unattractive to me. And Kyle is right, not even the women in the magazines look like the women in the magazines! :-) They're airbrushed and heavily made up so they look like what the add agencies think beautiful women should look like. If you show yourself to be happy, kind and funny, that you like who you are, you'll get more attention from people than you ever would want. Like everyone else is saying, it's not about how you look on the outside.

• Lioness said on Jul 30, 2007....

  It's funny that beauty is always measured by how long and shapely your legs are, how small one's waistline is, how flat the tummy is, or how contoured the facial shape is... queen, there's more than meets the eye. For all we know, these very same seemingly "perfect" people have their own insecurities. Nobody is perfect! It's not a perfect world either.
  
  They say that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". That is so true. What seems beautiful to you may not be beautiful for me. The essence is, accepting the person that you are. Liking and loving yourself, it's the only one you've got. Go girl, be the person that you want to be.. It won't be easy, but hey, who says life is easy??
  

• mariajuana said on Jul 30, 2007....

  I support you.  Be healthy! Love your body! Love your life!  Sure, insecurities sometimes kick in, but, each one of us go through that phase in life, even celebrities and models who we think have perfection. It's a struggle, so be strong!

• brokenandused said on Jul 30, 2007....

  You already are beautiful....
  you are beautiful because :
  1. you don't let models make you insecure
  2. you know that being skinny and makeup are not what make you beautiful
  and
  3. because being beautiful is about being in love with yourself, and you have that mastered!!
  beau·ti·ful (byū'tə-fəl)
  adj.

  1. Having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense of sight.
  2. Excellent; wonderful.

  beautifully beau'ti·ful·ly adv.
    now add your picture :)

• queenparanoia said on Jul 30, 2007....

  thank you minnie. thanks for the encouragement... =)

  thanks ed!

  desertmermaid: i dont hate you for that. thanks for sharing.i guesss beuty is really on the eye of the beholder... =)

  uniquely: thanks for sharing that. i guess you can never please anyone except yourself... =)

  wombie! you are right... and paris? you are so lucky!!! =)

  thanks pickers... =)

  thanks infernal...i guess it's society's perceptionof beauty is different from mine now... =)

  thanks kruu!!! hugs to you too!!!

  thanks travelr... =)

  lioness:agreed! and i think youre beutiful too!!! seriously please put your picture here in soulcast!!!! =)

  mariajuana! thanks for the support!!! =)

  brokenandused: thanks!yourdefinitionof beautiful is so true! thanks for sharing!!!

• ALIENated said on Jul 30, 2007....

  You know, we all want to be supportive these days. And for God's sake, we
  have to be tollerant of everything anyone does. But are we really helping
  each other by ignoring problems like being overweight? (Please do not take
  this the wrong way. I am in the overweight club myself. I lost almost 50
  pounds a while back. Now I have regained all but 15 or 20 of it.) I mean, 
  being overweight, like so many other things, can kill us. What if we take all 
  the comments above and substitute cocaine for food. Read a couple of
  those incouraging comments and substitute cocaine. "Beauty is only skin
  deep. You keep using all the cocaine you want." OK, that is kind of extreme,
  but we have started doing that all the time. Telling people exactly the
  opposite of what we really should be telling them. Your parents love you
  very much (I would assume). As harsh as it sounds, they are trying to
  help you and tell you the right thing to do. Of course, no one wants to
  hear that sort of thing. Especially if it is true. I had an aunt once who
  could not go five minutes without mentioning someone's weight. There is
  just no good way to tell someone to stop eating too much. We would
  have no problem with telling people to stop using cocaine, to stop
  drinking alcohol, or to stop smoking. Why do we feel like such heels 
  when we try to warn someone that their mirror might be fooling them.
  Again, this is just an observation. Other than the pictures people have
  seen of you, no one really knows whether you are beautiful or not. However,
  you do seem to have a sweet and beautiful personality. I personally have
  given up on skinny (after losing 45 pounds I looked kind of sickly). I
  am just trying to maintain a reasonable weight and not have some of
  the physical problems I was having before I lost any weight. I know my
  weight problems are caused by lack of willpower (and chocolate kisses).
  Anyway, try not to think too badly of your parents. They are probably
  the only ones around who really have your best interests in mind, and not
  just making flowery comments. And, as far as those models, too skinny
  is just as unattractive as too heavy. Clothes do hang better on a stick
  figure, though. One more thing: you do not have to give up eating to
  lose weight. You just have to identify which foods make you gain weight
  and which ones do not. That is how I lost so much weight. Eating the
  bad things (like those chocolates) is what put the weight back on.
  
  

• queenparanoia said on Jul 30, 2007....

  alien: your comment is really helpful! thank you! i think people here are just helping with the insecurity part of my problem. nobody wants me here fat right? as for my parents i know they have the best interest in me i guess the approach is wrong. although i really want the laptop. as i mentioned in this post i dont want to be skinny. i want to be healthy. and maybe losing some excess weight can be part of it. i dont want to be extremely skinny. i want to have a normal weight. anyway youre right i'm trying to ignore unhealthy foods and i started today. for breakfast i had an oatmeal. i know it would not satisfy my craving for salty and sweet foods but i'm okay with that. maybe soon i can start to put some exercise on my schedule. anyway thanks for the advice. and no i dont want to try cocaine... =)

• Suddenrain said on Jul 31, 2007....

  Ok , I think I'll go hang myself now. I have Always been told I should be a model. I am also very thin and at times have been accused of being anorexic. I just have a high metabolism. But now I wonder if everyone was lieing to me about how beautiful I am and that I should've been a model? So many of you have said skinny isn't good. I do try to gain weight but it's not happening no matter what I eat. *sigh*.

• kruuyai said on Jul 31, 2007....

  queen:  I think that ALIEN made some very valid points.  And that's what I found so beautiful about reading your post... the way you evolved from comparing yourself with those models to really loving yourself and affirming that you can be healthy.  I think you're wise to have a realistic goal, and I have personal experience with the health and weight loss effects of the Blood Type Diet.  This diet is for long term health, and if you like, later I can tell you more about my own personal experiences with it, but there's a different diet for each of the four food groups and if weight loss is part of your overall goal, it tells you which foods to avoid and which to eat (for your blood group).  I've never been much overweight, but after a bout around 7 or 8 years ago with acute anorexia that was brought on by emotional distress, I knew I had to build up my strength, because I had depleted my body of so much during those two weeks of not eating.  I started the blood type diet, not to lose weight, but just to build up my stength.  And I did it fairly strictly, so I ate only the "highly beneficial" foods on the diet.  The result was that, even though I was eating like a pig (at least as far as quantity), I found it almost impossible to gain weight, but I was getting much healthier.  And you would be surprised which foods are and are not on  your list.  The book is called Eat Right for Your Type by Dr. Peter D'Adamo.  You can also get a lot of information on his web site.

• jadestar said on Jul 31, 2007....

  Queen - this my second attempt..grrrr
   
  The photo's are touched up by airbrush artists; the faces done by clever make up artists. being skinny does not necessarily mean being healthy. My family used to call me Wednesday legs (whenz det gonna break) & many more.........BTW my tactic was to come up with more skinny jokes before anyone else did eg ..I have to jump around in the shower to get wet. Anyway by the time I was happy being skinny it was too late, my metabolism changed........good grief....
   
  Anyway healthy mind & body is the best goal - keep being positive.

• golddust said on Jul 31, 2007....

  Ok, I was once chubby... I had since lost 18 pounds and ten years and three kids later I am slim.  I cannot but stressed how my mom would comment on my chubbiness and even grounded me from tea time breaks and snacks but all those efforts just made me chubbier.  And those slimming centres; geez I find they burn a hole in your pocket.  They put me in the 'space capsule' which they claimed will burn off the cellulite but only left me feeling faint from dehydration. One day, I decided to be more active, signed up for a gym membership, took up aerobic lessons and went swimming to tone up those muscles.  Some months later, I am slimmer and trimmer. 
   
  As for those models, those looks don't last.  So they earned big bucks now, twenty years later it is only glamour and glitz.  As for me, after that quiet thirty minute of the coffee table book, I am going to tell myself again : I am beautiful.  I am smart and those two qualities don't always complement together.  I am special.
   
  Don't get me wrong, everyone is special in their own unique ways.  :)

• golddust said on Jul 31, 2007....

  Ok, I was once chubby... I had since lost 18 pounds and ten years and three kids later I am slim.  I cannot but stressed how my mom would comment on my chubbiness and even grounded me from tea time breaks and snacks but all those efforts just made me chubbier.  And those slimming centres; geez I find they burn a hole in your pocket.  They put me in the 'space capsule' which they claimed will burn off the cellulite but only left me feeling faint from dehydration. One day, I decided to be more active, signed up for a gym membership, took up aerobic lessons and went swimming to tone up those muscles.  Some months later, I am slimmer and trimmer. 
   
  As for those models, those looks don't last.  So they earned big bucks now, twenty years later it is only glamour and glitz.  As for me, after that quiet thirty minute of the coffee table book, I am going to tell myself again : I am beautiful.  I am smart and those two qualities don't always complement together.  I am special.
   
  Don't get me wrong, everyone is special in their own unique ways.  :)

• golddust said on Jul 31, 2007....

  Ok, I was once chubby... I had since lost 18 pounds and ten years and three kids later I am slim.  I cannot but stressed how my mom would comment on my chubbiness and even grounded me from tea time breaks and snacks but all those efforts just made me chubbier.  And those slimming centres; geez I find they burn a hole in your pocket.  They put me in the 'space capsule' which they claimed will burn off the cellulite but only left me feeling faint from dehydration. One day, I decided to be more active, signed up for a gym membership, took up aerobic lessons and went swimming to tone up those muscles.  Some months later, I am slimmer and trimmer. 
   
  As for those models, those looks don't last.  So they earned big bucks now, twenty years later it is only glamour and glitz.  As for me, after that quiet thirty minute of the coffee table book, I am going to tell myself again : I am beautiful.  I am smart and those two qualities don't always complement together.  I am special.
   
  Don't get me wrong, everyone is special in their own unique ways.  :)

• queenparanoia said on Jul 31, 2007....

  suddenrain. i think that's what is wrong with our society today. we oculd never be thin or fat enough... it really get's tiring whatever expections people wants us to be. anyway don't blame yourself for being too thin. it's nt your fauilt yo have a fast metabolism... you are lucky though!!! =)
   
  thanks for sharing that kruu. i'll check it out later. and thank you for knowing that my aim is not to be thin but to be healthy... =)
   
   thanks golddust... and oure right i'll try to put some exercise on my life... =)

• Suddenrain said on Jul 31, 2007....

  You know, I'm so selfish. I feel bad. I came here, read your post and immediately thought of myself instead of commenting on what you said. Shame on me. I agree with alienated and would like to add your weight should be proportionate to your height. Try toning instead of loseing. See if that makes a diff. Or lose a little and tone a little. But don't become obsessed with it. Hugggss  :-)

• jadestar said on Aug 01, 2007....

  I agree with you queen...it is society...too skinny...too fat....TOO BAD!!!
   
  As long as you are happy. Just love being who you are. Be blessed.

• jadestar said on Aug 01, 2007....

  By the way, you have beautiful eyes....

• queenparanoia said on Aug 01, 2007....

  Suddenrain: don't feel bad. my aim in writing a post here in soulcast is not only because so that you could notice me(well i admit i want to be notice) but i also want that the reader of my post has learned something out of it. it's actually nice that you could relate in what i wrote. so don't worry about that! =)

   

  jadestar: thank you! i love your soulcast name!!! =)

• travelr712 said on Apr 22, 2009....

  i was looking at the last pages of 'my conversations' tab, and this is the first post of yours i ever commented on. just thought you might like to know :-)

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