Everyday, new bloggers join the ranks of Soulcast and certain questions seem to pop up over and over again from these newcomers;
Why am I not getting noticed?
Why is my analysis of the breakdown in the penal system, getting absolutely no notice, while some yo-yo writes about their toe nail clippings and gets 49 comments?
Who are these popular bloggers?
Is this some sort of exclusive club?
Why can't I join?
Well, my friends, I am here to answer all of your questions and give you inside tips on how to become one of us. If that's what you really want.................think it over carefully my dears, because once you cross over to the dark side, there's no going back!
You're sure?
Really sure?
Well, then, here we go;
my sure fire tips to get you noticed on Soulcast.
You want to get subscribers, at least 50, so
1. Flirt heavily. I don't mean sexually, although you could do that as well.
Compliment other bloggers. For example;
that's a lovely trout you've got, silverwhisper;
why bloc, your grasp of liberal politics is truly overwhelming;
pickersplock, I can tell by the way you write how gorgeous you must be;
copsunited, that run on sentence of yours, was stupendous.
2. Use catchy titles to draw attention to your posts, like;
Flirting With Disaster
Sex, Sex, and More Sex
My Night With Brad Pitt, No Really
or
The President Sucks, Here Is Proof
3. Adopt a strange persona. You could make nonsensical comments like;
"I would use turpentine", when the subject of the post is the poor quality of school lunches.
Be severely depressed, this one works well if you have been jilted by the love of your life.
One warning; do not say you are thinking about suicide and then not post for several weeks, we will all assume you've expired and have major heart attacks.
4. Use props. silverwhisper has his fish, I have my tiara, and many use various emoticons;
;{> :> :0 :) and so on. Perhaps you could use olives, or Mojitos, or Tolstoy novels.
5. Come up with a fascinating screen name like
HotStud
PixieFrooFroo
or
MrsTinkle
Now go blog away my darlings. I'll be back. I must take my tiara in for cleaning early tomorrow morning, and I need my beauty sleep!
