• fearing said on Jul 21, 2007....

  I'm right there with ya!  I get that a lot too.  Maybe we are too nice.  

• dailyachesandpains said on Jul 21, 2007....

  HH:  Oh c'mon...you know it totally sucks to be hot!  Men can't resist and don't hear the word "no!" LOL!
   
  Seriously, I don't know why that happens.  It happens with a lot of things...like an Irish mother that wants to feed you and 20 of your closest friends,until you turn into a potato, even if you put a Post-It on your forehead that reads "NO THANKS!" 
   
  I guess I'm guilty of it now.  I ask Little D things over and over even if she's said "no, thanks" a million times.
   
  Daily

• dreaming_reality said on Jul 22, 2007....

  I think because, they probably think we're shy, and probably just want to see if we're easy.
  I get that too! Sometimes they end up giving me the friggin' creeps!
  And daily is right. They don't hear the word no, because from what i think, the reason why is because the blood from there brain rushes to there "head", which makes them less likely to hear and of coarse, run. Which can also make them stupid! (I mean like those men who rape women, etc..)

• silverwhisper said on Jul 22, 2007....

  HH: when someone approaches you like that, the proper response is to say, "i'm not remotely attracted to you. have a day." it's cold, but it'll save time in the long run.
  
  so long as he thinks there's some attraction, he'll keep right on, which is why "i'm married" or "i'm seeing someone" should never be the first thing out of your mouth. it's stupid but that's how some guys think.
  
  ed

• fearing said on Jul 22, 2007....

  @Ed - why isn't "I'm married" or "I'm with someone" not be the first thing I say?  Don't both those things say blatantly "I'm unavailable and not interested"?  If I were interested, I'd be giving obvious signals.  I ask this because of the number of times I've encountered this problem.   

• polarheart said on Jul 22, 2007....

  I would get extremely irritated if someone did that to me. . .it also blows my mind that these people are so self absorbed that they dont even hear what you are saying unless its what they want to hear.  At that point the person has already lost any respect I would have had for them.  There is nothing wrong with asking, but then be prepared to listen and heed to the answer.
   
  (It sort of deflates any feelings of being flattered and one actually wishes they would have left it there!)

• husbandhater said on Jul 22, 2007....

  So true!

• travelr712 said on Jul 22, 2007....

  Up to 20 years ago, hh, that was enough. These days, it's just a motivation to some guys. There are books and websites and chatrooms out there that teach guys how to be persistant about it and 'score'. You see, it's a game to them. If they do this to 50 women, maybe 5 will respond positively. Then they have their little mind games and sexual incounters with those women, then they drop them and move on to the next. I know this because I used to work with a man who read the books, went to the chatrooms, and practiced it on women, and was very proud of himself. It used to infuriate me! Not only was it using women, who are deserving of respect as people, but it made all men look just a little worse. Ed is right, saying 'I'm married' does not say to them 'I'm not interested'. It says to them 'if i weren't married, you might have a shot'. Saying 'I'm not interested in you at all' is the only thing they will understand or listen to.

• boyzmom said on Jul 22, 2007....

  Some men will even ask why you are not interested, telling them it is none of their business makes them mad, so I have lied and said I am with someone even when I am not.

• Expendable said on Jul 22, 2007....

  Pull out your cellphone, dial 911 and tell them you need a police car, there's a strange man bothering you. If he takes a step towards you, start screaming.

  With any luck, he'll run off. Wait for the police car anyway. It'll be up to you if you want to file a report.

• nursecutie said on Jul 22, 2007....

  It is sad, but lots of times today, men don't think it matters if you are married or involved. If they are only looking for sex, some LIKE that the woman is not available. It ensures that they can have good sex with a woman who will not expect more from them, because they are already in a relationship!!

  I had a myspace page that said I was single.......I would get lots of stupid offers from men, so I changed it to say I was married!! I thought that would stop the creeps from coming out. It did not!! I just got offers that said they would like to be my 'dirty secret'. Blech!!

  Some men have NO shame.....

  xxoo natalie xxoo

• controlfreak said on Jul 22, 2007....

  If you are so devoted to your marriage, why is your tag name "husbandhater"?

• husbandhater said on Jul 22, 2007....

  My tag has nothing to do with what my morals are. And my marriage is like any other person's,  its' got its GOOD DAYS and its' BAD DAYS. It sounded like a good handle and I was pissed with my Husband on that particular day. NO ONE IS PERFECT! Least of all ME! Even on it's bad days that doesn't mean I want to muck it up with Adultry. To me there is just some lines you just DON'T CROSS!

  Crossing that "particular" line more often than not ends marriages(Could possibly land me a disease), and if it doesn't end the marriage it is a hurt that takes years to mend and is never forgotten. Besides What kind of mother would I be and example would I be setting for my 3young sons who I am trying to teach how to treat women?

• Expendable said on Jul 22, 2007....

  You don't get as many offers when they're not sure what you are. In chatrooms when I'd get a/s/l, I'd get angry because they never said what they were first.

• one_wired_kitty said on Jul 22, 2007....

  Seems lately that:
   
  no = yes
  yes = yes
  maybe = yes
  Restraining Order = try harder
   
  Seems to me it's the norm these days to cheat on one's "significant other" ... but I don't cheat ... what do I know?

• travelr712 said on Jul 22, 2007....

  hh - I also wondered about your name, thank you for clearing it up :)

  kitty - That's too funny! Unfortunately, it's also too true!

  nurse - I've spent most of the day reading over et's blog and the story of you two. Glad you held out till he landed on your examining table! It's just proof that some men have to be hit over the head before they'll take a hint, no? LOL

• 5dollar said on Jul 22, 2007....

  To me, there are some boundries you just don't cross, getting involved with someone who is married is at the top of that list. But I also carry it a step further to girlfriends of someone I'm close to, like a friend or brother. I know of two brothers who haven't spoken to each other for more than five years because the older brother crossed that line.

  But I guess some men believe everyone is open game, and like Silver said, you just have to be a little mean to get the message to them.

• rmuxagirl said on Jul 22, 2007....

  I'm there with you at a bachelorette party the other night my friend kept telling this creeoy old guy no and then that she was married and he still insisted on trying to kiss her and stuff.
  
  I guess we gotta just get very mean and rude.
  

• Galileo2007 said on Jul 22, 2007....

  Men have 2 brain cells and they located between their legs.  It's a long way from there to the pre-frontal cortex which handles most logical thought processes and screens for socially appropriate behavior.  For some reason "no" just seems to be an obstacle to be overcome when you're dealing with men.  I literally spent 11 years telling this guy at work no.  After about six years I got so fed up with his apparent stupidity that I started taking all the things he wanted to give me and used him horribly.  He even gave me credit cards that I charged up and he got nothing in return.  After about 18 months I started to feel like a real bitch and stopped but he didn't.  Go figure.

• silverwhisper said on Jul 23, 2007....

  fearing: it's the wrong answer b/c it implies that theoretically, if not for the circumstances he'd have a shot. the truth however 99.99% of the time, his chances are exactly 0%. so saying as much shortens up the conversation, which really is your objective, i would think.
  
  ed

• fearing said on Jul 23, 2007....

  Ed - If you were the guy, would you interpret the answer of "I'm married" as still having a chance?  Curious.  I think my problem is that I'm nice about it.  Too nice.  Even "No" with a smile (nervous smile) still means maybe to some dopes.  That also explains why the man that lives behind me continually hits on me whether or not I'm married or engaged.  I should be meaner.  Maybe I'll work on that trait today......

• silverwhisper said on Jul 23, 2007....

  if i were the kind of guy who would continue in the face of "i'm married", yeah, i probably would.
  
  your being too nice is basically what these guys rely on. they'll try all manner of cheap manipulation, guilt, what have you.
  
  ed

• fearing said on Jul 23, 2007....

  Ed - Good point.  I guess if a ring and "I'm married" doesn't slow someone down or offer the fist clue, it's pointless to try to beat around the bush huh?
  
  Sorry dogs.....uh, the cheap manipulating kind.
  Thanks for the advice.  I'm still working on 'mean'.  So far, all I can muster is 'slightly annoyed'.  It's a work in progress.  I'll keep you posted.
  ;-p
  

• Just*Sonic said on Jul 24, 2007....

  Seriously - MEN ARE IN IT FOR THE SEX. Read my blog "The Beginning", there is many a tale of men thinking through their crotches. xxx 

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