In less than 3 months I will turn 27. It has been 10 years since the last time I was in school. 10 years. Wow. 20 years ago, I was seven. First year in primary school. I remember my first brother, sent me to school every day. He would wait for me outside my class. Every day. Don’t remember for how long he did that. He’d wait for me for lunch break, made friends with my classmates – for me, of course! – then when lunch break was over, he would walk me back to class and waited outside till my day was over. Yup, he did that for me, every day. I don’t think he did that for months, maybe only for the first 2 weeks of Primary One.
Secondary school was just fine for me. If anyone were to ask me, when was the best moment of my school life, I would say when I was in Primary Six. That was the best year ever! I found my best friends that year that lasted me through half of secondary life, not for long but they were still my best friends. If I could turn back time, I would go to that year and relive it again. At 12, life taught me a lot of things. That was when I know what back-stabbing is all about. What it feels like to be an outcast and to be part of ‘the popular’ clique later on. At twelve, I started flirting, I think that has always been in me! I remember, us girls, we would have a thick book and we’d pass around to other school mates to write their biodatas in it and we’d have a ‘crush session’. That was where everyone wrote which boy or girl they have a crush on. I would flip through all pages to see if the boy I had a crush on has my name written next to his! LOL. And boy, did I find more than one admirer!! It really brightens up my day, thinking back those times. It was good times.
Being 26 is not that bad. What have I learnt since 12? Too many things. Some things I didn’t even want to know, I came to know. Feelings I did not want to have, I have felt. I believe the past made me who I am today. I don’t think I would have been patient with so many people if I had not gone through those rough times which I am not going to elaborate on. Not just yet anyway. I don’t think I would be so strong now if I had not had my heart broken 3 times. I think I had my heart broken more often by girls than guys. I don’t mean romantically but in terms of friendship. Over the years, I have gained and lost so many friends. Mostly girls. Sometimes I wonder, is it me or them? If it was me, they wouldn’t come back, would they? That’s the problem. They always come back for a second chance but it’s just not the same anymore, is it? I just can’t bring myself to be close and share parts of my life that they left behind because they heard some stupid rumours etc. Being in situations like that so many times have taught me to be more careful when it comes to choosing friends. I stopped believing in having a bestfriend when I was 20.
But that changed as well when I started seeing A in 2002. We dated for 2 and half years. After that, we became bestfriends. He is the best buddy I have ever had. Well, best guy bestfriend! I know some of my friends, even my brothers find it hard to understand how we could still be friends and very close too. Maybe a year after we broke up, I still had feelings for him. It just doesn’t go away over night nor a few months. Not for me. But now, we are just that. Best of friends. Sure, we had arguments but give us a week and we’d be back to normal. If I was best friends with a girl, do not even expect things to go back to normal after an argument. Sure it would probably be normal for the first 2 arguments but after 4 or 5, that’s it – sworn enemies! I just don’t think I can get along well with ladies. Not for long. 2 year tops! But with a guy, it can go on forever. A is that guy. Always so supportive of my decisions. Always there to advice me. He’d do anything for me. Almost and I must say, so would I. We both know each other so well that it is scary. I love the fact that we both can talk about who we like romantically and not having to hide anything. I have told him about MSHM and he’s been very supportive. Our friendship is the kind of friendship, one would only find in the movies. So close and so supportive of one another, protective and all that but just really good friends.
Secondary school was just fine for me. If anyone were to ask me, when was the best moment of my school life, I would say when I was in Primary Six. That was the best year ever! I found my best friends that year that lasted me through half of secondary life, not for long but they were still my best friends. If I could turn back time, I would go to that year and relive it again. At 12, life taught me a lot of things. That was when I know what back-stabbing is all about. What it feels like to be an outcast and to be part of ‘the popular’ clique later on. At twelve, I started flirting, I think that has always been in me! I remember, us girls, we would have a thick book and we’d pass around to other school mates to write their biodatas in it and we’d have a ‘crush session’. That was where everyone wrote which boy or girl they have a crush on. I would flip through all pages to see if the boy I had a crush on has my name written next to his! LOL. And boy, did I find more than one admirer!! It really brightens up my day, thinking back those times. It was good times.
Being 26 is not that bad. What have I learnt since 12? Too many things. Some things I didn’t even want to know, I came to know. Feelings I did not want to have, I have felt. I believe the past made me who I am today. I don’t think I would have been patient with so many people if I had not gone through those rough times which I am not going to elaborate on. Not just yet anyway. I don’t think I would be so strong now if I had not had my heart broken 3 times. I think I had my heart broken more often by girls than guys. I don’t mean romantically but in terms of friendship. Over the years, I have gained and lost so many friends. Mostly girls. Sometimes I wonder, is it me or them? If it was me, they wouldn’t come back, would they? That’s the problem. They always come back for a second chance but it’s just not the same anymore, is it? I just can’t bring myself to be close and share parts of my life that they left behind because they heard some stupid rumours etc. Being in situations like that so many times have taught me to be more careful when it comes to choosing friends. I stopped believing in having a bestfriend when I was 20.
But that changed as well when I started seeing A in 2002. We dated for 2 and half years. After that, we became bestfriends. He is the best buddy I have ever had. Well, best guy bestfriend! I know some of my friends, even my brothers find it hard to understand how we could still be friends and very close too. Maybe a year after we broke up, I still had feelings for him. It just doesn’t go away over night nor a few months. Not for me. But now, we are just that. Best of friends. Sure, we had arguments but give us a week and we’d be back to normal. If I was best friends with a girl, do not even expect things to go back to normal after an argument. Sure it would probably be normal for the first 2 arguments but after 4 or 5, that’s it – sworn enemies! I just don’t think I can get along well with ladies. Not for long. 2 year tops! But with a guy, it can go on forever. A is that guy. Always so supportive of my decisions. Always there to advice me. He’d do anything for me. Almost and I must say, so would I. We both know each other so well that it is scary. I love the fact that we both can talk about who we like romantically and not having to hide anything. I have told him about MSHM and he’s been very supportive. Our friendship is the kind of friendship, one would only find in the movies. So close and so supportive of one another, protective and all that but just really good friends.
