• Zayda said on Jun 30, 2007....

  We dated for 11 months before getting engaged. The actual proposal was fairly simple and romantic, and intimate--well except for our two closets friends, a married couple, hiding behind their truck watching the whole thing. :) Frankly, that's the way I preferred it. The ring itself was the big grand gesture.
  
  Honestly,  I don't really think it matters how you ask as long as it's from the heart, e_t.
  

• MissMimi said on Jun 30, 2007....

  B and I were together for four years before we got married.  I would do it differently if I had it to do over.  I would not have waited so long to marry, and I definitely would not have lived together.  I know that's probably not what you want to hear, e_t, and I'm not saying it because I disapprove. I am saying that for us, the excitement of marrying and the honeymoon period was long over by the time we got around to the ceremony.
   
  And the proposal was pretty unromantic.  I won't go inito details but let's just say that it certainly wasn't particularly special. 

• wombat said on Jun 30, 2007....

  He gave me my engagement ring a year after we met and we got married six months later.  But several months before I got the ring, he had moved me out of my freezing cabin and told me we were going to get married.  (I had said I wouldn't live with him unless we were married.)  I don't recall if he ever really asked me properly.  We just sort of got married one day on my vacation.  Made it official and I got his name.  Nothing much else seemed to be different!  And I was happy for it to be that way--no big hoopla or worries that I was making a mistake.

• secretlife said on Jun 30, 2007....

  we got officially engaged after 2 years. but we began talking about it and started a joint savings account after a year or so...
  we were engaged for a full year because it took a full year to book the church (Catholic thing)
   
  he did it the old fashioned way and asked my dad beforehand.
  i didn't know this until after he asked me.
  we went to a nice restaurant - he ordered champagne...and then when the waiter left he got down on his knee and asked me.  the ring was in the most beautifully cut crystal box.....i remember the box!

• Eilan said on Jun 30, 2007....

  My ex-husband and I were together for about 13 months when we were engaged.  I proposed to him (per his request) and I did it in a rather non-traditional way.  Let's just say it involved writing and nudity.
  
  My husband and I had known each other for about four months and had been a couple for about two months when we got engaged, but it was kind of a whirlwind thing.  We picked out the ring together, so nothing was a surprise.
  

• Actorguy said on Jun 30, 2007....

  Eilan: writing and nudity!?!  A subject for a future blog we hope!
   
  My story is a bit odd because we started going out when we were 16, got engaged when we were 18 and got married when were 19.  We wre definitely too young but we weren't crazy.  We just celebrated our 32nd anniversary!

• evil_twin said on Jun 30, 2007....

  Zayda--That sounds really nice. It was simple, yet perfect. I always thought it should be a private moment too, but it was nice that your friends were hiding and watching! I think I'd just feel weird if strangers were watching me. Like in a public place or something.
  
  Mimi--I get what you're saying about the living together. I think this is why I don't want to wait four years this time. By the time I got around to asking, we'd basically already been living together as if we were married. Of course, she said no anyway. But even if she hadn't, the emotions were not the same as they would have been had I done it sooner. I'm sorry your proposal wasn't good though. I don't know what I'll do, but I want to make sure it's special.
  
  wombat--That sounds like it worked well for you. No big deal about any of it. But if that's the way you wanted it, it sounds great. I think if marriage is right, there doesn't really need to be a lot of fancy preparing going into it. It'll just feel natural.
  
  secretlife--I like your story. I always sort of imagined proposing in a restaurant like that. I'm glad I didn't do that the first time though. Not when she said no. Luckily, I was in the comfort of our apartment. But that's great that you have such a good memory of the event. I want to make sure Natalie remembers it like that too someday.
  
  Eilan--So you proposed to your first husband? It was at his request, but were you okay with that? Did part of you wish it had been the other way around, or did it not matter? And you definitely moved fast the second time, huh? But see, I like hearing that. Whirlwind can be good when it's right. :-D
  

• evil_twin said on Jun 30, 2007....

  Actorguy--You were young! But that sounds like my brother. Almost EXACTLY. He met his wife right before he turned 17. They were engaged right after graduation, married at 19. It's been ten years so far and they're still going strong. I guess the saying is true. When it's right, it's right.

• mommyof2 said on Jun 30, 2007....

  It's now 18 years and no ring!! He says weddings just cost money like divorces so why not just stay together.........I must be crazy!!

• evil_twin said on Jun 30, 2007....

  mommyof2--You've been with a man for 18 years and no ring?? At this point, would you even want to get married? Basically, you already are. But you know what? If you guys are happy together, I suppose that's all that really matters, right? But are you disappointed by this or do you share his views?

• beyondtheveil said on Jun 30, 2007....

  evil- Actually, my comment here was made on someone elses post the other day, but I believe SC ate it for lunch so I'll do it again.
  
  My wife and I both had previous marriages and were going to be darned sure of the next one. However, after about three weeks of dating we were engaged and married shortly after.
  
  Almost twenty-five years later we are both as much in love as we ever were. We have never even hollered at one another, but have always discussed things frequently.
  
  She is one of those people who will not let anyone go to bed angry.
  I'm just a very lucky guy- and its the heart that counts.
  

• evil_twin said on Jun 30, 2007....

  beyond--Wow...now that was fast! That's wonderful though. Honestly, I've been with Natalie for a month, and I feel like I could do this right now. The only thing stopping me is not wanting to be labeled crazy and have people think we're out of our minds. It's not fear stopping me though, because I know this is right. And barring anything unforeseen, I know I'm going to do this someday. I just don't know when...

• Eilan said on Jun 30, 2007....

  Actorguy:  It's possibly a subject for a future blog.
  
  evil_twin: I was okay with it.  I mean, we'd already pretty much mutually decided that we were going to get married.  It was just a matter of making the engagement "official."

• nytquill17 said on Jun 30, 2007....

  My DH and I had known each other for about a year, slowly sliding into a romance all the while, before we became an official twosome.  By then I pretty much knew already that I would marry him.  We moved in together 6 months later, not as a trial period but already sure we were "forever" and just waiting on the paperwork!  And we'd been dating officially for 8 months at the time he proposed. :)
  
  Our proposal wasn't much of a surprise - he had given me the ring originally as a promise ring, and things ended up happening faster than we'd planned, so we decided to re-use the same ring as an engagement ring.  So I gave him the ring back for about a month, so that he could choose the right moment.  I was so excited, I bugged him a lot during that month to hurry up and ask me!  So I pretty much knew it was coming.  Looking back, I wish I had let it be more of a surprise (I love surprises) but that has everything to do with me, not him.
  
  It was very romantic though.  We went to this gorgeous beachfront vacation village and walked up and down the beach collecting glass and stones (an old hobby of mine).  And then at one point, I had been admiring the ocean view, and I turned around and there he was, on one knee and the whole deal. :)  It meant a lot to me because I spent a part of my childhood on an island so beaches and oceans have a more deep-seated meaning for me than just how physically beautiful they are.
  
  Looking back there are maybe a few things I wished had happened differently about our whole lead-up to marriage - and things certainly went differently than what I'd always thought I would do (always thought I would date for years and years before getting married, and thought people who "just knew" were just crazy, but in the end I DID "just know" and I've never looked back!) but in the end things happened the way things happened and it all worked out the same in the end.  Anniversary #2 is on its way next month!
  

• the_infernal_optimist said on Jun 30, 2007....

  Hmm...we met in August of one year, became a real couple in Feb of the next, said those three words in March, and I proposed in September. Six months of "dating," I suppose. (It was almost three more years before we married, mostly for insurance/school reasons rather than that we didn't feel ready. I'd have married him the next day, circumstances willing! :-D)
  
  Yeah, I know, I'm a girl. Our proposal story has earned us a few sideways looks, but neither of us regrets anything about how it happened. :)
  
  From a blog I wrote on the subject (the formatting got removed or something, so I'm just c/p here instead of linking:
  
  "I wanted to do something huge to show my love and trust and willingness to walk beside him for the rest of our mortal existence. I stole him away one September evening, and we walked down to a creek that ran through campus in a quiet area. We keep a journal that we hand back and forth (though we've slacked on it lately), and I casually handed it to him and requested that he turn away from me and read what I'd written. Here it is (perhaps trite, and not my best work, but it fit the moment just fine):
  
  With this poem, I thee ask
  Please accept this gift unmasked
  To you I give my future, present, and past
  Wrapped in love, safe and secure, bound to last
  Beyond all eternity
  And I hope you've found in me
  A soul mate, partner, very best friend
  Laughter and hope that never ends
  All these things I've found in you
  And I wanted to show love sweeping and true.
  I think you know by now what's next
  From my shaking hands if not this text
  The one who loves you more than life
  Is asking to one day become your wife
  And wants to proclaim to the wide, wide world
  That she's the happiest, most blessed girl.
  So here I am, asking through simple poetry
  Honey, precious angel...
  *please turn around for the last line*
  
  When he turned, I was on one knee and shaking like a leaf. He was already crying, so I didn't have a chance. I squeaked out "Will you marry me?" and the floodgates just burst. He said "Yes, honey" and knelt and took me in his arms. I think we hugged and cried out of happiness (as he said "Yes" over and over, lol) for over an hour, there on the bank of the sunset-lit water. :)"
  
  ~Infernal
  

• hotaka said on Jun 30, 2007....

  Hey, evilT. Well, as you may know by now, when I fall, I fall hard and fast. Life together forever is a natural response for me when all is going well. In the beginning I wanted to marry all my girlfriends. I have known people who got married after only two or three months of dating and are still happily married. I think waiting too long may actually not be a good thing. I think if I had married K two years ago we might have been better off. Somehow being married means working harder at making things work.
  
  About proposals, my first wife insisted that we marry, as you read, and I tried to think of some way to propose. I wanted to take her to someplace special and propose there but she recently had had a knee injury and was in no shape to climb a mountain. Instead I turned the living room into one of those places I liked. In south central British Columbia is a dry belt that is semi-arid and there is a small area of sand dunes with a single ponderosa pine. I projected a photo of the area on the wall and on the floor I spread a plastic sheet and covered it with sand from the local river bank. I added some dry grass and some pine cones we had and raked my fingers through the sand to create ripples, blowing them smooth with a fan to make them more realistic. It was early in the morning and she was asleep so I woke her and took her by the hand into the living room. There was this mini desert setting. I told her to stand on the sand with me and I proposed there.
  
  As for K, I had lots of ideas. While in the Rockies I thought about taking a helicopter up to a glacier and proposing there. I had the ring. But I went with my original plan because glacier flights were over $700! On our last evening in Nova Scotia (we had reached the east coast by then) we sat on the granite rocks of Peggy's Cove with the Atlantic crashing on the shore and I presented her with the ring then. It was very simple but she was so happy. Ahh... well, that's all history now, for now. Whatever.
  
  Anyway, I still need to catch up on the last couple of weeks with you and Natalie, but so far everything seems to be going perfectly well and if you feel it's the right thing to do you should just do it. You can be as realistic as you like and think it through and analyze everything like me but in the end you just gotta feel what's right. Heck, she is okay about you having a Grease 2 video then what can go wrong?
  

• minniemouse said on Jun 30, 2007....

  Oh boy....we dated for 5 years before we got married, but we started dating senior year in college, so we were 21-22 I guess....really young (in my book!!).  My husband would break out in a sweat when the "M" word was mentioned.  Should have been a clue!  LOL But around year 4, all our friends were getting married and he finally got to the point of talking about it and proposing.  The proposal was nothing special, I knew it was coming but he did have a really beautiful ring made for me.  I think you have read some of my blogs before and know the situation now,  but I was happy then.  If I had a "dream" proposal in mind, to me, it would be more in the words that were said rather than the how or the where.  :-)  MM 

• hotaka said on Jun 30, 2007....

  Infernal, that was so beautiful! What a great poem too. Someday I'll get it right. Glad you did.

• mirrorimage said on Jun 30, 2007....

  E_T,  my husband and I were together for 10 months when he proposed. It was very casual and simple at home with my 2 year old son running around. It's kind of funny, I knew the ring was hidden somewhere in my house even though he had his own apartment and he mentioned that my son knew where he hid it. So everyday after work I would say "Let's play find mommies ring" and i would follow him around while he tried to remember where it was....but each time he would go for my husbands golf bag and get distracted by all the balls....the game always ended at that point...lol Sorry...getting off track.
   
  Different proposals work for different people. It doesn't have to be extravagant or incredibly romantic....just something special between the two of you. For me and my husband, we spent most of our time at home with my son doing family things so that was very special to me to have it at home with my son. With a former boyfriend, we always rode his atv off into a field on the mountain to relax...covered in mud and loving life. When he proposed, it was going to be there...covered in mud...because that was special to us. So, if there is something like that that you and natalie do, just the two of you...that will make it the most special to her. Anyone can do a fancy romantic dinner or something you see on tv all the time...

• hotaka said on Jun 30, 2007....

  Maybe you could give her the ring on a toothbrush? Or have one of the cats bring it over, the grumpy one. Attach it to the cat's collar and hope she doesn't run out.

• sweetsoul said on Jun 30, 2007....

  I'm not sure asking others is goign to help you but it's an interesting topic for a blog.

  We got engaged about 8 months after we started dating and were married 4 months later...so 1 year from meeting to marrying. Having said that though we were divorced after 5 years, so what does that say?

• TinSoldier said on Jun 30, 2007....

  I posted about this in my own blog, but here's the summary:
  
  I was a sophomore, she was a freshman. We started going steady. In my senior year I joined the Marines. She came down to California for my graduation. One night on the drive back we were awake later than everyone else and talked about what a great idea it would be to get married. There was no formal proposal involved, it was just two friends talking.
  
  So we got engaged while she finished high school and I finished MOS school.
  
  I came home, got married, and I've been with her ever since. Almost eighteen years now.
  
  Probably doesn't help your situation out much, but there you go.
  

• LadyGamer said on Jun 30, 2007....

  Married three times. First one was my boyfriend for about five months when he popped the question. We got married shortly thereafter.
  Second one was a friend I had known for a little over a year. We actually dated about six weeks when he asked me to marry him. We got married shortly thereafter.
  Third one I lived with for a year before he conned me into signing the piece of paper.
  None of them worked out so well. So I would say that short term and long term are equally useless.
  Now I try to imagine growing old with someone I am interested in. If I feel that I have to be ashamed of the signs of age that will most definitely come, I don't even follow up on the spark.
  I guess when I find someone that makes me feel like those wrinkles are precious, I'll be golden.
  What I mean by that is... I think that looking to the long term helps you see what you are feeling today.

• DesertMermaid said on Jul 01, 2007....

  Being 19, i dont think i'm ready to be engaged. An astrologer predicted that i would be married in the next 2years but I dont see myself getting married before 5/6 years at least. Its the same for my 21 year old boyfriend. However he asked me out in a romantic way by placing a big red card in my desk 3 years back.I would like to be proposed in a romantic way as well, i'm really dreamy and all ;p

• Zayda said on Jul 01, 2007....

  ahhh, e_t, you misunderstood. the two friends hiding behind their truck were instrumental in planning the proposal and setting the stage. it's a long story. but the proposal was romantic and intimate and semi-private in that they were across the street and we were in a park.
  
  
  i'll probably write about the proposal on either the anniversary of the proposal (november) or perhaps on our wedding anniversary (july). we'll see.

• polarheart said on Jul 01, 2007....

  Twinny, we me met in November and got engaged the following March.  I have a very tale to tell about how we got engaged, but it is too long to share now.  I am also one who says if you know that it's right and you're not fooling yourself (coz only you know if you are) then why wait?  I also dont believe in engagements that last for years on end, I have seen too many people break-up because they have been living like married couples, but dont take their relationship further, esp. with regards to having children, and eventually one or both of the parties lose interest and leave.  Of course I realise that it is very different for everyone and each person must make up their own mind.  But my advice to most would certainly be that if you get engaged do it with a definite end purpose in mind. Be resolute.

• PassionTraveler said on Jul 01, 2007....

  Well, after reading all of the other's comments, I thought I had the record for shortest dating time before proposal, but BeyondTheVeil has me beat by one week. My ex proposed to me after only one month of dating. We married a little over a year later and I stayed with him for 11.5 years before separating. The judge signed our divorce papers ON our anniversary date, making us married EXACTLY 14 years by the time the divorce was final.
  
  It actually was a good marriage, but we just grew apart. After years of working odd hours, when I finally shifted to a normal schedule, it was like I was living with a stranger. Everything was out of sync, and even with counseling, efforts, and hard work, we couldn't get it together.
  
  He's now remarried for the third time (I was wife #2).
  
  I'm still single and looking. Any offers? ;-)
  
  PT
  

• rupert7 said on Jul 01, 2007....

  My first wife and I courted for nine months,then she said to me "when are we going to get married/" I said "whenever you want!" That is the truth. 10 year,I moth and 2days later I was handed my divorce decree absolute,how romantic is all that!!
  
  Second marriage,we courted for 2 and a half months then I said " We are getting married," she darn near fainted on the spot! We were married 6 weeks later, making it 4 months,give or take a day! Another romantic triumph!! We have been together 22 years and will be forever,I think!
  
  My first wife was 19 when we married, my second 35.
  
  Marriage is a lottery,just go for it before you are too old to GO!!!   So speaks the happy cynic!  seriously marriage is serious and also the best arrangement  to be in!
  

• destinydiva said on Jul 01, 2007....

  infernal that poem was beautiful...
  
  hmmm proposals...
  
  
  The first was by far the most romantic.....   I was 16 and laying in a field just watching the stars with my first love.... he pointed up and  named a star after me....see that star there?....I officially name it destiny sexybum..diva  (real name undisclosed :-)    We kissed...he said that he never wanted to live his life without me...then he said so.....miss destiny ..sexybum..diva ...will you marry me ? ......aaawww my heart melts thinking back to it......  anyways we went shopping together for a ring the next day, our parents were really happy and threw us an engagement party......and .....damn remind me again why I broke up with him?????  (we were together for 3 years....it was about a yr and half in that we got engaged...)
  
  The second........   we had a child together... when my daughter was born he held her in his arms for the first time....looked at me with such a happy smile ....and pulled out a ring and said lets make us a real family :-)   sweet huh......shame he was such a wanker and 3months later he dissapeared out of our lives....  
  
  The third ......  Was a guy I was dating for about 6weeks.....he fell head over heels????  the feeling wasn’t mutual but he was a romantic...... one day he took me and my daughter out for a pub lunch....  then we went for a stroll and we were walking down the riverbank.....and he knelt down pulled out a ring and asked me to marry him......  he said he was going to wait till tonight and ask when we were alone but he couldn’t wait a minute longer....    (6 weeks is way to soon even if the feeling had been mutual)
  
  The fourth..... geez this is the one I really wish i had said no too....  (I actually married number 4......  and am almost divorced from him :-)
  He proposed on valentines day...in my fav Italian restaurant......  we ate then after desert the waiter brought over a bouquet of flowers.....the note on it ...said marry me...
  then he got down on one knee and pulled out a ring...
  turns out he had been planning it for weeks, my parents already knew he was gonna ask me...(he had gone round and asked my dad for my hand in marriage)
  anywayz.....his romance wore off after about a week of being married  :-)
  (We had been together 2 years when he asked me to marry him and we got married the year after.....  and divorced 6 years later....)
  
  I dont think it matters how you ask....  but Its nice to make it memorable.....
  Destiny x
  

• DogLips said on Jul 01, 2007....

  polar, I can see where we went wrong, hesitating about everything - proposing, moving in together... We just waited and waited and never took the dive together. Possibly it is my fault for not being more adamant. I think K would have liked that. Poor girl suffered waiting for me. She should have spoken up too.
  
  Today I just bought a trinket ring for N. I called her to ask her ring size. She got all excited. I told her to slow down. She had to get out of one marriage first before starting the next one. I have learned to be cautious. Perhaps I should just say, "F it! Let's bloody well get hitched and figure it out from there!"
  

• mommyof2 said on Jul 01, 2007....

  Wow, the infernal, that poem kicks ass!!!!
  Evil twin, We have had many ups and downs...I do share his views, but still am disappointed...right now is a down but tomorrow could be an up.....

• silverwhisper said on Jul 01, 2007....

  this is something about which i've previously blogged so rather than re-type it all here, i'm just gonna link it cuz i'm lazy like that. :>
  
  me, i wanted a few things sorted out before i began a new part of my life. for me, at that time, those were i think the right things to prioritize. it made us a stronger couple to have our own lives well-defined prior to sharing our lives. it also helped us avoid any unpleasant surprises--by that point, we knew everythinig we needed to know about one another, and about ourselves.
  
  ed

• fearing said on Jul 01, 2007....

  E_T - I'll tell you even though you aren't doing me any favors lately, like driving around Los Angeles looking for my sweetie.  But I've let that go now so I will tell you we dated 7 months before he asked - on one knee, ring in hand.
  

• lfbno7 said on Jul 01, 2007....

  how long did we wait?  well, we met in september of 1969 when i was 18 and she was 20.  we moved in together in about june of 1971.  i was in college and she just graduated and got a job.  we eloped in july of 71 before i was 21, on her 22nd birthday.
  
  how did i propose?  i don't remember.  i have no idea.  i don't remember it happening at all.  one minute i'm single, next minute i find myself married.  son of a gun.  was i hypnotized?
  
  actually, evil twin, you know as much about my proposal as i do.
  
  knowing me, it went something like this.  hey, umm, ya wanna get married or something?
  

• one_wired_kitty said on Jul 01, 2007....

  Before we got married - we started dating in 2001, got engaged in 2002 after a year and then got married in 2003. We'll be celebrating 4 years of marriage on July 11 and 6 years together on September 12 (My birthday).

• evil_twin said on Jul 01, 2007....

  Wow...The response here is amazing! Thank you all for sharing your stories. I'm going to try and comment to everyone, because each story deserves it's own response. But I did want to thank everyone collectively. Also, I think a few people misunderstood my intent for the post. I wasn't looking for ideas to copy or anything like that. I was just curious to hear other people's experiences.
  
  nytquill--The beach setting is very romantic. I loved your story. Sometimes you do just know.
  
  infernal--Another woman who asked her man! I like that though. It's definitely a surprise that way. At least to the man! Your poem was beautiful and I think it would be enough to elicit tears from any man. That's when you know you've done something truly amazing. Beautiful story.
  
  hotaka--I truly loved your first proposal. You went all out to make it a beautiful setting inside your own home! That was great. And the second one was equally beautiful. We won't think of the outcomes of your situations right now though. The proposals were very nice. And I think you know me enough by now to know that I fall hard and fast too. I like your idea of putting a ring on the cats collar...that's clever.
  
  minnie--Your experience is very, very similar to me and Angela. We were the same age (21) and were together for 4 years. Although, I never got sweaty over the marriage talk, I never asked either. I was scared. But looking back, I think I was scared because deep down I knew it wasn't right. But when all of our friends started getting married, there is a tendency to think, "well, I guess we should too..." I do know your situation though and I'm sorry it worked out like that. It just as easily could have been me too.
  
  mirror--That's a cute story! You're right though. It should be done in a place that's special to both of you. I'm definitely going to keep that in mind. I'd like it to be a private moment...
  
  sweetsoul--It is an interesting topic because I love hearing all the different ways people got together. But I wasn't really looking for help anyway. It was a curious question. I'm sorry your story didn't work out though.
  
  tinsoldier--That's a great story, even if there was no actual proposal involved. I think that's quite common. And it's lasted a long time, so that's the important part! You two were very young and yet you stuck together. That's wonderful.
  
  Ladygamer--I'm sorry things didn't work out for you. But I think you're right about something. Sometimes it doesn't matter whether you rush in or wait. If it's right, it's right. If it's not, it's still going to fail. I hope you find that special person to grow old with...
  
  DesertMermaid--Yeah, you're a little young yet. My brother got married at 19, but it's certainly not typical! I don't think I would have been ready at that age. I hope you get a good, romantic proposal though when it's time!
  
  Zayda--I hope you will write about it :-) I'd love to hear. It sounds very nice and now I'm intrigued to know how the friends were instrumental in planning it.
  
  
  More responses from me shortly....
  
  

• exhibit_c said on Jul 01, 2007....

  For us, it was 2 1/2 to 3 years from first date to the ring, but I was out of the country (courtesy of Uncle Sam) for a year in the middle. I don't recall a specific proposal, but we sort of slid into looking a rings in jewelry store windows. I didn't tell her when I ordered the ring which took a couple weeks to have made. There was a bit of testiness during the last week before it came because I because somewhat silent on the topic. I made a special effort to drive across two states to give it to her NOT on Valentine's Day because it seemed to me (and still does) impossibly corney to get engaged then.

• evil_twin said on Jul 01, 2007....

  Polar--I think you are right and I share your views on long engagements. If I've asked the question, then that means I'm ready to do it now. I don't want to wait a few years, because then I feel like it takes the meaning out of the moment. Plus, I do want kids soon and don't want to do that outside of a marriage. When I ask, I'm hoping that the actual wedding won't be far off. That's the plan anyway...
  
  Passion--I'm sorry it didn't work out in the end, but I'm glad you still think it was a good marriage. I hope you find what you're looking for soon!
  
  Rupert--That's great about your second marriage! You guys jumped right in, and it worked out well for you. I really do think that it doesn't matter how soon you do it, as long as you know it's right. It's great to see a man so happy to be married....
  
  destiny--Wow, you've had a lot of proposals! I'm sorry that none of them really worked out how you planned though. The guy who left you with a baby sounds like a jerk. Or a wanker, as you called him. I like that name. I think your first teenage proposal sounded the sweetest to me.
  
  mommyof2--I'm glad you share his views, but I bet it must be a little disappointing not to have ever made it official...Every woman deserves her special day. I think your man fails to understand that, doesn't he?
  
  silver--That was a great story. And you were right to have your life sorted out before starting a life with someone else. That's important. Luckily, I'm at a point in my life where I feel pretty well put together. I'm ready!
  
  fearing--I'm glad you've forgiven me for not wanting to kiss your fiance. But trust me, he'll thank you for that later! I'm glad he proposed to you in a good way though.
  
  lfbno7--That's funny. Well, whatever you said, it must have been good enough for her to say yes!
  
  onewiredkitty--Congratulations (a little early) but that's great for you guys :-)
  

• evil_twin said on Jul 01, 2007....

  Exhibitc--Your comment slipped in while I was working on my last response...But I get you about not wanting to do it on Valentine's day, because everyone does it then. I think I'll pick a day when she definitely won't be expecting it...

• mommyof2 said on Jul 01, 2007....

  Eviltwin, My man fails to understand alot!!!!!

• evil_twin said on Jul 01, 2007....

  Mommyof2, want me to knock some sense into him?? :-P

• mommyof2 said on Jul 01, 2007....

  OH PLEASE DO!!!!!

• Alyss said on Jul 01, 2007....

  My husband and I had been a couple for seven years before we got married so had been together for 6 when he proposed.
  
  We'd just got back together as I'd left him some 3 months earlier because of his lack of commitment so I suppose it wasn't really a surprise, but I always felt like he did it because it was expected rather than because he wanted it.
  
  The proposal wasn't romantic or even intimate. He just asked one day while I was sat reading on the sofa at his flat. I was sort of surprised and sort of not but did say 'Yes' there and then. Thereafter we bought a house together and moved in and were married just over a year later.
  
  If I were ever to marry again, though right now I'm feeling particularly positive about that, I wouldn't want to wait. Life's too short.
  

• Mamie said on Jul 01, 2007....

  Hi ET, we met young and dated for 6 years thru and then after college. We have been married now for 22 years. I am still amazed at how I could have possibly known as a teen that he was "the one". Our engagement involved a serious night of alcohol before hand and when we arrived home to his apt. I think I said, oh for crying out loud! I know you have the ring and it is almost christmas! He still teases me that I got him drunk and stole the ring!

• silverwhisper said on Jul 01, 2007....

  dude, i told you that you're wiser than i was at that age. :>
  
  ed

• husbandhater said on Jul 01, 2007....

  We met in january and were married in june I was pregnant by July and 5 yrs later I live to tell the tale. The proposal went something like this: "Do you want to get married? Then we started to look at city hall. We called all the relatives the night before and only my aunts showed up. Both sets of parents weren't there.

  Be a hopeless romantic and give her the proposal of a lifetime when you are ready. Pull out all the stops to give her a moment to remember.

• rightwingwizard said on Jul 01, 2007....

  evil:  We met on August 29, 1973, became engaged on October 11, 1973 and were married on March 16, 1974.  
   
  I never actually asked her to marry me.  I asked her if she would be the mother of my children.   At that time we both understood that meant marriage.    I hadn't purchased a ring (I thought that presumptuous, kinda like, " Hey look, I already went out and spent all this money on a ring, you won't say no to me after all that would you?"  We picked out rings the next day, together.   I guess we were both ready because we set the date for the wedding the same day we got engaged.  Within 72 hours all arrangements were made for the big day, except for a few minor details.  (We forgot to hire a caterer until less that two weeks to go.  Since we were getting married the Saturday before St. Patricks Day getting someone that late was indeed a tough job.  Took some serious pleading and palm greasing)
   
  Like I have said a couple other places around here, we both knew the moment we met.
   
  rww

• evil_twin said on Jul 01, 2007....

  Mommyof2--He's a rather large guy, isn't he? Maybe I'll just have some stern words with him in an email, rather than actually 'knocking' sense in him. But I can try! :-P
  
  Alyss--I'm sorry to hear it wasn't a great proposal for you. But I see why you wouldn't want to wait. Life is short. That's always been my own thought.
  
  mamie--That's a great story. I'm actually surprised by how many people meet their 'One' as a teenager. I think it's great though. I wish I could have been so lucky, then I wouldn't have been alone for the last ten years! Too bad Natalie and I did not go to high school together...
  
  silver--Thank you. I sometimes feel wise beyond my years in some aspects, and completely childish and immature in others....like my decorating ideas!
  
  husbandhater--I can only assume that this was not what you had in mind. Your screen name suggests that you're not very happy in your marriage now. Or maybe not? But when I do this, I will make it romantic. I want her to have a good story to share someday.
  
  rww--I like how you asked her. Even if it wasn't the traditional, 'will you marry me?' I like what you said. And wow, you guys planned the whole thing really fast! That's great. I remember you telling me about how you met. I liked that story too.
  
  
  

• allswell said on Jul 01, 2007....

  evil t.....I think when it feels right and your ready, just do it! You and Natalie just seem to connect so perfectly that i really think whenever your ready...she'll be ready without any doubt.

  But as for me, well i did everything backwards...we had a baby, moved in together and just lived together for two years and then one day i said ok i'm ready to get married, and two months later we had a small ceremony at his sisters house, nothing exciting but i guess that's what happens when you have kids first!

  alls:)

• rightwingwizard said on Jul 02, 2007....

  evil:  Yeah we were just kinda like that with everything.  Within a couple days of finding out she was having our first child we had completely furnished the nursery, and picked out a name for our son.  Odd thing was we couldn't agree on a girl's name so it was good that we had a son.  Same the second time around, we could never agree an a girl's name so we just went ahead and had another son.  The third time we couldn't agree on a boy's name and so it was time for a daughter.  We even bought all the right stuff.  I guess we figured that if we couldn't come up with a name for the 'other gender' each time we weren't having one.   At any rate it worked out for us each time. 
   
  rww

• uniquely-ironic said on Jul 02, 2007....

  I dated my ex for about 4-5 months before we got engaged.  We were engaged for a year and married for 15 years.  It was actually more of a foregone conclussion than a proposal.  I think it went like this:

  Ex : Do you think we should get married?

  Me: If you want.  I suppose I should make an honest man out of you.

  Ex: Okay

  No drama, no fuss.

• ladyofspirit said on Jul 02, 2007....

  Haven't looked at all the comments yet, but I will once I post my own answers.  :  )

  Been married 20 years.  We dated 5 years, 2 of those years we lived a few hundred miles apart.  We were also neighbors before we started dating -- "the boy-next-door" kind of thing.

  I got pregnant so we felt we "had" to get married sooner than we'd planned.  we were also living together at the time, so we'd been "kind of" talking marriage already.

  There was no formal proposal.  That was probably to my husband's benefit -- he was (and still is) not a romantic guy.

  This is just my little piece of advice:  take your time having children.  Enjoy each other together, without kids, first as an unmarried couple & then as a married couple.  It's a gift to find someone that special & you don't want to hurry things long too much -- cherish getting to know each other & the newness of being together.

• truthsayer said on Jul 02, 2007....

  This is one of those times where speaking in my own 'voice' would be so helpful!  Maybe I will be able to blog about it one day ; )  But we have been together for almost 19 years and we dated for three weeks before we got married.  My spouse should be the story teller here.  The details are a little fuzzy for me ; )  It was a whirlwind, that's all I know! 
   
  So, longevity isn't as important as knowing that you know...and getting married like polarheart said:  Be resolute.  It will get you through the storms that will come, they always do.  Even if it is like our friend beyondtheveil and his wife...that they do not cause the storms...life has storms; so be determined and deeply commited.  That's the key ETwin.
   
  I wasn't going to comment.  But I read your other post about your grandmother and grandfather, and it was so touching, that I came and looked for this just so that I could post on it.  You want what they had, right?  Only your own personal ET and Natalie kind of what they had?  Then commit if she is the one.  You'll know, if you don't already.  IM very HO.
   
  truthsayer 

• evil_twin said on Jul 02, 2007....

  alls--I'm sorry you didn't have the wedding you deserved. But it does make it a little different when you have kids first. I think a small ceremony could be nice though. My brother got married in my grandparents backyard. It was really great though. It was a good family moment.
  
  rww--Everything with you and your wife was meant to be. I really think it was. That's a wonderful story!
  
  uniquely--It seems like a lot of people had a casual discussion rather than a real 'proposal'. I can understand that, but I guess I'm old fashioned and want to make sure it's really special.
  
  lady--It is good advice to wait on the kids. At least for a little while. I'd like to do it soon though. Just not TOO soon. It would be nice to have time as a couple alone before bringing new people into the mix.
  
  truthsayer--Three weeks, huh? That's great. I love hearing how people just 'knew' they'd met their One's. It makes me feel good about my own feelings. And yes, I do want what my grandparents had. Their love was so strong. It was so strong, my grandfather died two months after my grandmother did. He couldn't live without her. His heart was gone, and he was ready to go be with her again. And so he did. That's love. And the more I speak to people like you, the more I'm ready to do this. I know it can work if we both want it to. Thank you for commenting.
  

• truthsayer said on Jul 05, 2007....

  You are most welcome ET.  I will add this though:  We had the Lord between us, cementing our relationship and keeping us honest ; )  Not that we were perfect...Oh far from it.  But we had a Mediator for when we had disagreements or misunderstandings, that wasn't about to let us fail, you know?  I'll bet your grandmother and grandfather did as well, didn't they?

  truth

• fearing said on Jul 05, 2007....

  Threeeeee weeks???????
  
  

• evil_twin said on Jul 05, 2007....

  truthsayer--Marriage does take a lot to be successful. My grandparents were not perfect either, because no one is. But they never gave up on each other. They were best friends, as well as husband and wife. I think that's important too. Friendship can hold you together when all else fails. It's good that your faith solidified your relationship. It is important to share a spiritual bond.

• truthsayer said on Jul 06, 2007....

  lol fearing..yes, man is that a blog or what??? 
   
  e_t, yes it is a must in this crazy mixed up world ; ) the spiritual bond I mean!  Once in my marriage I thought I could not love anymore.  I had to ask God to love my mate through me, and show me the right way to love this child of His ; )  Did I get more than I bargained for...but it made me wealthy : )  I wouldn't trade that wisdom for anything now.
   
  Great post...well, great posts!
   
  Thank you for writing them,
   
  truthsayer

• fearing said on Jul 06, 2007....

  Sorry E_T for hijacking your blog for a minute ...... ......
  
  @ Truth - I really, really want to read more.   You should write it. 
  (I also went back to see how you referred to your spouse ;-)  You're good.)
  

• evil_twin said on Jul 06, 2007....

  Truthsayer--I'm with Fearing. I'd really like to read your story. Can you tell it without giving too much of yourself away? 

• Brunettebmshell said on Aug 29, 2007....

  Wow, what a great question. I have been with my bf for 7 years... I know, it sounds longer than it seems though. We have lived together for over a year now, and we have definitely talked about getting engaged... it may happen within the next couple of years or so, but who knows. There is absolutely no rush. He and I met when I was 14, almost 15 while we were in high school and we have been dating ever since. There have been ups and downs but we are very happy. I want both of us to be financially stable (on our own, as two seperate people), before we say "I do". He will be graduating from a University soon, and already has a job lined up. I'm very independent, plus come fom parents who ended their relationship in a messy divorce, so I've always wanted to make sure that when I take my vows, it will be the first and last time :-) I say there is no time limit, but these actors, actresses, and young teens who just jump into marriage head first without really getting to know their "loved one" is pretty ridiculous. If you truly love someone, aren't they worth the wait and worth getting to know completely???

• Brunettebmshell said on Aug 29, 2007....

   

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