O.k. what does a sixteen year old girl have in common with a 40yrold man? And why her dumbass parents would sign a release to allow them to be married? I will share this, that from the ages of 13-20 I dated older men anywhere from 10 -20yrs older than I and it was when I was 20 that I noticed what the real deal was. I'm not saying that men nor women who date people older than themselves can't have common interest. But I am saying that when you deal with a teenager or a young person who is still in the process of developing this can sometimes take on an abusive role. In what sense?
In the sense that even at 21 you've seen more of the world and experienced more than that young individual. They have yet to know what you now know about certain topics and things in life. You know what their going to do before they do it and that's not a fair advantage at least in my book. I once asked a man who was a good couple of years my senior why me?
what was the interest in dating someone in my sge group vs finding someone your own age? His reply:" You are young and supple,your body is beautiful,you haven't had much experience so I get to mold and teach you how to please me and you won't be jaded like most older women are and set in your ways b/c your youth leaves your mind open to possibilities."
Spoken like a true pedophile I say. It is the munipulation and the ability to mold the mind and habits of these young people to except what they want and say as law. The ability to be almost like God to them in a manner of speaking. Hero worship and all that good stuff.
It took a long time for me too come to this realization, and to come to grips with this.
For me part of it was re-living sexual abuse and not understanding what happen to me at such a young age. Part of it was the search for a father like figure who would protect me and take care of me, making me feel safe.(Yes my father was in the home most of the time, but my parents seperated for 2yrs when I was like 5 and the molestation occurred a year after that at the hands of a male sitter who was the relative of someone my mom was dating. And I have many issues with my dad, some resolved,some in the process.)
Such as life. The other part was growing up too fast and wanting to seem mature and sofisticated when I was still just a child inside and out!
So next time you see a teen in the throws of romance with someone who is older and should know better. Take all of these things into account and ask yourself the question that is the title of my topic. And beleive me these relationships have lasting affects,emotionally,physically,pshycologically,on your entire persons and being.
But I always say What ever doesn't kill you makes you stronger! I know why and I stopped my cycle. Can these other young ones stop before....................
Can they learn the difference btwn love and infatuation?
