1. Give your partner enough space to voice his or
her concerns.
I'm sure you hate it when people interrupt you; give
your partner the same respect -- even if you don't
agree with what they are saying.
2. Make an extra effort to really understand what
you partner is trying to say.
It is very easy to fall into the trap of thinking you
know what they are saying, when in fact you may
not have a clue. If your partner feels like you
understand what they are saying, you'll find a way
to end the argument far more quickly.
3. Don't say something you'll regret later.
Always consider your relationship like a glass. It is
sturdy, tough, beautiful and clear when taken care
of, but if it is mistreated or mishandled it can end
up scratched, cracked or even broken. Take care in
choosing the words you say when you are in the
heat of the moment.
4. Don't bring in past woes.
The past is the past... let it stay there. If you dwell
on past occurrences, you'll never find a solution for
the future your partner will feel less loved and
respected, and you will always feel negatively
towards your partner. People make mistakes. Give
your partner the chance to recover from them, and
encourage and support them when they make the
right choices.
5. Learn to compromise.
If you can learn to compromise, you'll find yourself
in fewer disagreements. If you don't like something,
then agree with your partner to find some middle
ground. This also applies the other way. Be willing
to come up with alternative solutions for things your
partner doesn't like as well!
6. Realize that no matter what you say, you both
may not agree on the issue at hand.
An argument is typically started because you want
someone to agree with you about something. You
think that the other person must not know all the
facts, so you begin to explain it to them. The more
your partner still disagrees with you, the more
upset you usually get. But, if you realize that
sometimes it is best to just let yourselves agree to
disagree -- you'll show your partner that you not
only respect their opinion, but respect their
individuality as well. You never know, maybe later
on they (or even you!) might change their mind.
7. Make a commitment to talk about the situation
until it is handled.
It's far too easy to run off and avoid your partner, or
give them the silent treatment. Instead, make a
commitment right now to each other to respect
each other enough to work it out -- even if it takes
all night. Nothing is unsolvable when you are
working together to truly find a peaceful resolution.
8. Make your relationship with your partner your
first concern when you are in the middle of a
disagreement.
This does not mean bend over backwards for them
or compromise your integrity. Just keep in mind
that the person you are arguing with is your best
friend, lover and soul mate. If you both keep that at
the forefront of your mind in an argument, it will
keep what matters most away from cruel words or
intent -- your heart!



