Ok, I have been going through Secretlife’s (and others) sex tags and felt the urge to "share" with the group a little. I like to go to sex shops to get new toys to use on my special someone. There is my confession, now I’m on the road to recovery (fat chance). I enjoy the multitude of things you can find at a good sex shop and mixing & matching items to create my own Frankenstein’s Creation brings me joy. "IT’S ALIVE, IT’S ALIVE!!" It’s like working with explosives; you’re only limited by your imagination and I have a wild one.

I had seen Ben Wa Balls in every shop that I have been into, but never gave them much consideration. Ben Wa balls (also known as Burmese bells or Geisha balls) are small, marble-sized metal balls, usually hollow and containing a small weight that rolls around—used for sexual stimulation (by insertion into the vagina or anus). Some may also be solid. My thanks to Wikipedia for the explanation! Anyway one day while looking around for something new, I decided "what the hell, why not?" I got a pair of solid ones that were a little larger than marbles but not huge. They came in a nice satin box so they were presentably; not that she would have cared anyway. Hey, a new toy is a new toy and a kid is just going to tear open the packaging and start playing with it.

My girlfriend at that time was an innocent little thing (then) and had not even heard of the them, but so far she had enjoyed everything I shared with her and needed no coaxing to try them out. The instructions were pretty much "insert and have fun." nothing of use other than that. She was ready to rock, as was I so after quickly shedding our cloths and some quick, but effective oral action on my part to insure that her juices were flowing I put them in. They slipped in effortlessly and…they went "over the edge." The edge of what, I’m not exactly sure, but they were gone. I lost em! No, she’s not huge like that! It’s never been like "throwing a hotdog down a hallway"; you may or may not hit the sides. It’s not like that at all. They just got in and ran off, went over the cliff like two tin soldiers. I felt them or stopped feeling them and I just knew they went somewhere other than where I thought they should be. I was shocked!

I asked her if she was ok and she responded yes. That was good, but what happened? I gave her a few tender licks, pulled my head back and pushed my index finger as far as I could go. She must have thought, "What the hell is this clown trying to do?" I felt nothing at all. It was as if they were not even there, which I knew was not the case. I saw my relationship flash before my eyes. I thought that I had really fucked up this time. This was worse than the…well never mind, forget that. Now I hand to consider do I tell her what was going on or try to fake it? Did she have a clue already?

"How does it feel?" I asked her.

"Cold at first, but now just heavy."

"Just heavy?"

"Yea heavy, but not uncomfortable."

Not uncomfortable, that was good. That gave me some relief, but not much.

"Well maybe I need to stir them up a little?" I tried to sound mischievous which I truly was, because this was more of an excuse to use something longer than my fingers to find the damn things then an actual request to start stroking. I plunged in and started probing. I hit bottom so I had little problem finding them, but that is apparently where they decided to rest…The Fucking Bottom. Man what was I going to do? I couldn’t grab them with my dick.

While contemplating the situation I did enjoy the new sensation of the solid metal balls smashing against the tip of my chock at just the right point as well as the moans of joy coming from my girlfriends wide open mouth. Ok this one was apparently a winner, but how do I retrieve them. I struggled with saying something or just continuing to fake it. Finely I pulled out and said "Wow those feel deep… can you get them out?" she kind of arched her head back and I saw a look of concentration appear on her face I thought to myself "Come onnn kegels! Peter, Paul and Dr. Ruth pleeease let these things come out!" Nothing! Then she closed her eyes in further effort. Still nothing!! At this point we got worried and scrambled for the instructions in case we had missed something. Nothing of use there either.

Well for those who don’t know there was/is nothing to worry about. If you find yourself in this situation there is no need to get on the Internet in a franticly search to find help in order to avoid an embarrassing trip to the ER. We have done that for you. Apparently the fucking things don’t come out until they are good and ready to do so, unless you are skilled. And when they do…FUCKING WOW!!! Again that FUCKING WOW can happen at any time. That night, some time during that night or the next friggin day. Like during a board meeting or a presentation or something. "Ladies and Gentlemen of the board (Plop Plop)… FUCKING WOW!!!" I know because she told me.

Well that was not enough to discourage us though. We continued to use them and quickly learned that movement; any movement can be pleasurable. Just walking could be interesting, so what about a Motorcycle Ride? Yes, it does work. Perfect for that Saturday Morning ride the two of you had already planned on anyway. Wake up, cuddle have some tender foreplay, insert the Ball Bearings of Bliss, "stir them up" a little (don’t cum) and hit the road. Ride a bike with a little SHAKE RATTLE & ROLL to it though. Were talking about good vibrations here. While riding pay attention to her posture, as it is liable to change. There may be some squirming and shifting, but what your looking for is the arms wrapped tightly around your waste and her head resting on your shoulders or upper back. She may squeeze you tightly from time to time. This is a sign that you may be at the turn around point. Ask her, shell let you know. She my want to turn around, take a break or "roll the dice". I’ve given this technique the name "The Wounded Trooper" because upon returning home after the first "Joy Ride", she looked like a wounded Calvary Trooper on the back of a horse, all slumped over and barely hanging on. Be advised that you may never get a solo ride again or have to start sneaking them behind her back. Oh, be ready to carry her to bed to finish her off. Who am I kidding? She’s probably done, I mean to get yours.