You must have wondered just what the hell was happening? It all seemed so unreal- it all happened so quickly? I drove up from Devon picked Zoe up came to the hospital........I know you didn't know what the hell was going on..........I felt so useless, I know you tried to come back, when Zoe shouted at you and I sat talking about positive thoughts and healing colours I know you tried to fight................we went back to Zoe's and sat talking all night, willing you to get stronger..............then we were back at the hospital with Lorna and her prayer partner???That blew your mind didn't it? It blew Zoe's too but you prayed with them? I knew then that you were going.........the decision was made for you? I still don't understand how you were left to dehydrate so badly???Where were the nurses??Where were the doctors?? I said goodbye to you in Intensive care.........you looked so scared. Zoe spoke to the doctors and I knew I had to get her out of the hospital before she punched someone.................... 32 years old, 6 children...........? They didn't give you a chance..................????? They could have given you a chance, but because you were a drinker they let you die. They told Zoe and Katherine they were letting you die, by then your kidneys had failed...........because you had dehydrated badly? You were last in line for dialysis- because you were ill with a drinking related illness? Sparky you were only 32? I know you weren't ready to die, what a complete fuck up?? I know you liked to have a drink we all did for a while, Zoe more so than maybe the rest of us, I didn't realise you drank that much? I remember seeing you with your cans of cider.........but then I usually had a can of special brew?? I know you've let it all go now? I feel the peace around you and I did see you with your mum didn't I? Zoe's little brother.................? She'll be ok, I know she's finding it all a bit too much right now but she's done good and we are there for her. Katherine and the kids will be ok- but you know that already? Call me mad- I don't care.........I know you are reading this...........! R.I.P "Sparky" Adamson died 22/03/06.