I had to put my cat to sleep today...
He'd been diagnosed with cancer back in April, and they said it was only a matter of time. It wasn't unexpected. I knew it was coming. But knowing still doesn't make it any easier. No matter how much I tried to prepare myself, it still hurts like hell...
The wound at his mouth had been getting worse, but it didn't seem to be giving him any trouble. He was still eating and drinking and all... But last night, the wound had finally gone septic. He was not doing well at all...
I think I stayed up all night with him, just petting him, worrried about whether or not it was time. I think knew, but was trying desperately to deny it. My wife broke down in tears when she found me in the living room holding the cat in my lap this morning. She's not taking this well at all...
The vet said very little, which confirmed my suspicion. There was nothing more he could do or say. It was time.
The vet let me stay with him through the end. My little furball curled his toes around my finger as if holding my hand with his paw, like he used to when he slept at my pillow at night. I sat there holding on until I felt him go. I wanted him to know he was not alone...
So now I am sat here at my office, staring at a pile of work I have absolutely no urge to do. My wife also went in to work. Neither of us wanted to stay home all day after that. We need the distraction for a little while, I think...
He was only seven years old, and we'd only had him for five years. So very little time, but he was still one of my 'children'. I'm going to miss my little furball's smiling face, and his purr. But at least I know he's not suffering any more...
