A phone call came at 5:50 AM, it was my boss asking me if I wished to work today. Being that I had just fallen asleep at 2, I told a lie and said I had something planned today. And I sank back into bed.

Then I walked into a nightmare.

My wonderful mind has created a scenario for my entertainment. It is so damn vivid that as I type this I wonder if it really has happened, and I simply repressed it. Bur there is no way it could've happened. The players live elsewhere, I know people I've never layed eyes upon, but again, it was incredibly real. Based upon logic, this could not have happened. It only can happen. And that thought is really off-putting.

The dream spanned a time of about 30 minutes, although I slept for two hours. Those 30 minutes were rife with social drama, rivalries over a woman, major immaturity and backstabbing.. he must've purposely over-poured my drink three times, my pants were a fucking mess. I woke up feeling very ill.

I fell asleep again, and it only continued. Now in "dream time", it was days later. I was speaking to someone in regards to the way particular people acted. She told me its because they were in love. Somehow I had already known this. It wasn't something I wanted to hear.

Her home was remodeled in my mind, remodeled in such a way I could see into her bedroom from another window in her house, which was placed on a road that does exist in my county. I had spent the night. I was getting ready to leave as I had to work, and I had looked out the window and into her room. I saw the way they were looking at each other, the way they were kissing, the incredible smile on her face. To think we were like that just a month ago.

I woke up again. I really needed to sleep, but I knew if I did, this psychological and emotional torture would continue to pound away at my cranium and chest cavity. I did sleep again...

Now we were going apple picking, she told me "he" was going to be there. I said I rather not be near him. The look on her face, the look of "Im so sorry things turned out this way" came at me like a scalpel slowly separating my tissue. I turned to cross the street to get to my car, and didn't look both ways. It was too late for me to notice the truck, but when I did, I looked back at her. Slow-motion. I wake up.

I am awed by how much emotion these nightmares have led to. I actually feel the way I should, had I gone through all I've dreamed. I really need more sleep, but if I lay down my head, a truck is going to hit me.

But if I don't sleep, I believe (in my sleep-lacking state) I wont be able to talk to her ever again. My head has made real my dislike and disgust, my sadness over something I'm now convinced will be.

I rather be roadkill. :(