• silverwhisper said on Jun 07, 2007....

  honestly, i don't have any family members who are gay. i do count several friends who are gay, however, but i imagine it's considerably different. the only person that i ever met prior to being out came out after we both left high school and we were in college. pretty much when i heard about it, my reaction was, "well, it took you long enough!" (i heard about it second-hand).
  
  i'm most curious to know what others' experiences have been, though.
  
  ed

• MissMimi said on Jun 07, 2007....

  Botty, as you know, my youngest brother is gay.  He's had a rough time battling addictions and depression, and I'm convinced that his homosexuality is a contributing factor in this struggle.  Not that his being gay causes these problems, rather that his not being at peace with who he is, is one of the causes.  When he came out to the family, my reaction was pretty much the same as Ed's with his friend:  "well, it's about time."

  I also have my suspicions that my  uncle, my father's brother was gay, but I have no proof, and no way of finding out.  I guess I could ask my dad, but holy shit.  You'd hear the explosion all the way out there!  My brother has said several times that our Uncle Mike has come to him in his dreams, which is weird because my brother was only about a year old when my uncle died.  That comment precipitated one of the funniest moments I ever had with my mom.  You would have had to be there to see the humor, but I made my mom spit out a mouthful of her martini. :D 

• uniquely-ironic said on Jun 07, 2007....

  My uncle was gay.  I'm not sure that he ever talked to his parents about it.  He moved to the bay area when he was a young man and died a few years ago from some complication to diabetes.
   
  He was my favorite relative on my dads side of the family.  He was very handsome and always lots of fun to be around.  He gave my family his old piano so that we kids could take lessons and stuff.  He was a musician and one of his regular gigs was to play the pipe organ at the old theaters along with the movie.  He also did watercolors that were beautiful.
   
  I remember being unaware of how uncle David was "different" until I was about a freshman in high school.  He was always careful to bring female friends when he visited so that his mom could live in denial.  When I figured it out it was like a "who cares?" kind of a thing.  I really miss him some times.  I think he handled the pressure of a slowly maturing society very well and with grace.

• evil_twin said on Jun 07, 2007....

  I don't actually have any gay family members, but my best friends sister is a lesbian. Her parents were a little shocked at first when they found out. Mostly because she doesn't 'look the part'. They were under the assumption that all gay women looked like men, but she's very feminine, so it threw them off. But me and my buddy knew long before they did. Mostly because she confided in him when they were teenagers. She's two years younger than us. But she didn't let her parents know about it until about five years ago. Now, it's no big deal. Her parents are cool with it, now that they've gotten used to the idea. They just want her to be happy. But that's really my only experience that I can share. She's sort of like a sister to me though since I've known her since she was born.
  
  -evil_twin LA
  

• mobil said on Jun 07, 2007....

  No one from my direct family Botoni, but my Dad's two sisters, married

  two brothers and the third or youngest brother was gay. It was all very

  hush, hush when we were kids.

  He had a store on the boardwalk in Atlantic City for many years and he

  was a fighter pilot in WW2. He's the only gay person I ever knew or was

  around much and I wasn't around him all that much. My Dad gave him a

  Boxer dog and I remember the dog (Muggs) was run over by a hotdog

  truck there on the boardwalk. He fell asleep under the tires cause it was

  shady there. All I can say about him; He was a nice guy, very personable,

  sorry, that's all I got Buddy.........hahaha.......Go Get Em Saturday Nite !

• botoni said on Jun 07, 2007....

  ED.....That 'What took you so long?" reaction is a pretty commn one. Sometimes its tough to realize that others are often as aware or more aware than we are ourselves
  Missmimi Many gay people go along the route the route your brother is on. Discomfort with oneself over any issue can be a trigger for alcoholism. I m sure I would have appreciated the martini misting!
  Unique Sounds to me that your uncle was from that school of dignified gay men who carried themselves with grace and distinction. Sometimes the things we do to accomodate the denial of others can get pretty amusing.
  Evil Your friend is not at all untypical of many lesbians. That stereotype of the butch woman just isnt reality. Many of my lesbian friends are exceedingly feminine. On the other hand a few seem to have more testosterone than I do.
  Mobil Your shirt tail relative sounds like a tremendous guy. LOL at the hush hush...that was pretty common in anything that was considered scandalous when you and I were whippersnappers. Just to update you....looks like Saturday is moved to Sunday.

• gingersoul said on Jun 07, 2007....

  Bottie....as i already told you in the post you mentioned, my nephew is gay.

  He is 20 and has had a difficult time in being accepted by his parents. My brother and my sister-in-law had a raw reaction when the first signs of his being gay showed up...to the point they decided to take him to a psycologist who luckily understood that the source of all the problems wasn't him but them....

  They have been open minded enough to overcome their initial resistance though and now my nephew has a well adjusted life:  he is a A college student and has a brilliant future in front of him. He is very popular within his circle of friends.

  Oh, i am his favorite auntie, naturally ....lol..

• mirrorimage said on Jun 07, 2007....

  I don't know of anyone in my family that is gay. But my bestfriend through highschool and college is a lesbian. I have no idea why it never occurred to me, but I was seriously shocked when she told me! For some reason, she was worried about telling me... I don't know why... it hasn't changed anything about our friendship...except now I am friends with her girlfriend too!

• oneindepthsoul said on Jun 07, 2007....

  I am always curiuos of what people might say about gay people at times. I was married for 8 years with my wife and when I left it was cause we had problems getting along. She came from money, and I came from the struggle. I had more heart than she did, atleast that's what I think.
  Over all I had a best friend that came out to his wife after I did too. My mother always thought I could of been gay. Except I got married and started a family, so it threw her off.
  I am attracted to both sex's and most gay people say thats normal. I still desire to be with women from time to time. How ever I am in a homosexual relationship now! My ex wife knows about it, and of course it is not talked about at the dinner table. But she knows and so does every body else.
  The only person I keep it from is my son. I will not expose my son to the type of enviroment. I feel he is way to young. When the time is right I will let him know, except that time is far away. His mother thinks I should tell him, cause I should not deny myself to him. I tell her of course to grow up and just leave it alone. She is just still bitter about it all still. I understand why though. It's been 3 years since I told her....
  I guess what I am trying to hear from others, is it possible for people to look past sexuality? And see the difinition of ones true being.
  Which to me over rides all of ones inperfections.

• rightwingwizard said on Jun 07, 2007....

  Botoni:  This is a very interesting topic.  I believe most of us have had far more contact with gays than we are willing to know.  I have two brothers and a sister, at least one first cousin (male), a nephew and a daughter who are gay.  They are not all openly so, but everyone knows none the less.
   
  In high school I wasn't aware of any girls being gay but at least a dozen boys were actively gay in my class. (Teenage homosexuality is another topic altogether though, many of them are in experimentation mode.)   A couple were openly gay but most tried to avoid being known as such.  I remember two in particular.  One was so open about it that he would clearly proclaim his sexual inclination.  He didn't much care, if he was at all interested in someone he would make a move on him.  He was never concerned about the brush off because he saw straight guys get it all the time from girls so he asumed that he would experience the same thing from guys.  It seemed that no one really cared as he was quite popular.  The other was a bit more cautious, but he would hit on me from time to time.  He was my best friend and we spent a lot of time together, but never went that route.  There were others who would be much more subtle about showing their interest, but I knew it was there.
   
  As for my brothers, my older brother is openly gay but the family doesn't talk about it.  My younger brother is living a totally sexless, single life.  Everyone is aware, but again no one really talks about it.  My sister has had a couple long term relationships over the years.  Every one knows about her sexuality because she was expelled from nursing school many years ago for having a relationship with one of her classmates.  Once again no one talks about it.
   
  Perhaps this is why I am so comfortable with my gay friends, and I have many.  I would say that at least two thirds of the people I associate with on a regular basis are gay.  Some talk openly about it but most do not.
   
  rww

• secretlife said on Jun 07, 2007....

  my father's brother's son was gay.  He died in the early 90's of AIDS.  what i remember is how everyone was afraid to say that he was gay and what he was sick with out loud.  but we all knew....
   
  my best friend's brother was gay.  He also died of AIDS.  He died the year before my cousin.  I don't think his parents ever admitted the cause of his death.  and it wasn't until the last few weeks of his life that they took him in to take care of him....
   
  My brother's best friend is gay,  He came out 2 years after high school.  My brother had no idea.  lol.  they are still good friends.
   
  i have a cousin who i think is lesbian.  She's 51 now.  Twenty or so years ago she and her girlfriend bought a condo together.  Still my mom and her sisters would never utter the word gay....
  the funniest part is that my mom, in particular, adores my cousin's girlfriend.  She's jewish, and when her mom and dad died, my mother went and sat shiva.
  She's the first jewish person my mom has known too.  Every year during Hanukkah, my mom buys her a gift! 
   
  one of my best friends at work is gay.  she just adopted a little girl from china 3 years ago at the age of 50 because she always wanted to be a mom!

• MissMimi said on Jun 07, 2007....

  mirror, your post made me smile.  My daughter had a lot of gay friends all through high school, both male and female.  Gay males in their teens tend to be very popular with girls.  I had a couple of gay friends in college.  The man we chose to be godfather to our daughter was gay.  I still miss him.  He died of AIDS in the mid 80's.
   
  My daughter was an athlete and the stereotype of female athletes being lesbian is a stereotype for a reason:  because that does indeed seem to be the case.  My daughter isn't gay, as far as I know, and I'd like to think that if she was, she would tell me.  I love her, straight, gay or in between.  It wouldn't even be an issue.

• satyr said on Jun 07, 2007....

  While there is no one in my immediate family who is gay, we have several friends who are gay.....one of my daughters' best friends is gay...and there was a gay neighbor growing up.  To us it's no big deal...as long as they respect our preferences and the norms of behavior in public.  That has only been a problem once and we don't associate with that individual any longer

• sweetsoul said on Jun 07, 2007....

  One of my ex husband's sons is gay. I was so proud of my sons and daughter-in-laws supporting him (he's in high school). Last year we all went to the Gay Pride Parade with him to support him (though it's a fun event even without supporting a family member).

• gingersoul said on Jun 07, 2007....

  Bottie.....your question threw me off......you asked specifically about having family members gay ..

  I told you about my nephew..but naturally he is not the only gay or lesbian i have had relationships with...

  My best girlfriend and i have had a loving friendship for years, for example. Sometimes it was really difficult to understand where love was prevaling and friendship receding.....if its ever possible to operate such distinction...

  She was openly bisexual, with other lesbian relationships during the years. She has been, up to now, my only lesbian lover..The sex  between us stopped naturally after a while and we have been able to mantain our friendship since the day she died.

  I know many other gay in Italy. A couple of my friends  is together by 21 years now...i always tell them how envious i am of their story....several friend of mine are lesbians..... I went in vacation with a colleague-friend who is lesbian years ago....she wanted to seduce me badly by some time but i ended up meeting my next to be husband during that trip.....we invited her to our wedding. though......lol....   

  . 

• Eilan said on Jun 08, 2007....

  He's no longer my family member, though he's an uncle to two of my children, but one of my ex-husband's brothers is gay.  He came out about seven or eight years ago, and frankly, no one in the family was surprised. 
  
  According to my ex, his brother's much happier now that he's not trying to be something he isn't.  It helps that he and his partner live in a city with an active and growing gay community and there's a lot more support and acceptance there than there would be on the fringes of the Bible Belt, where we live.
  

• lfbno7 said on Jun 08, 2007....

  It seems that more people are saying "my friend is gay" than "my relative is gay".  Maybe if your relative is gay, you don't want to talk about it . You are too close to it.  But if you don't have a gay relative, you are more than happy to show how open minded and accepting you are of gay people.  I feel the same way.

• lfbno7 said on Jun 08, 2007....

  
  

• sweet_cookie01 said on Jun 08, 2007....

  we have a couple of gay friends but no family members... what i like about our gay freinds is that they have good fashion choice....when they buy us stuff they exactly know what we girls want!...LOL...

• mommyof2 said on Jun 08, 2007....

  There are no gay members in my family that I know of , unless they are hiding in the closet. I have tried some things, don't know if that makes me bi, lesbian, or just a scientist, most were in the form of 3's, which to me equals more fun.

• RollingC said on Jun 08, 2007....

  Just checking in as I got to go to work.... have some gay members in my family and my parents had a hard time accepting it.  My sister and my younger brother from dad's second marriage.  My stepdaughter seems to be headed in that direction and my wife is having a hard time accepting it.

• queenparanoia said on Jun 08, 2007....

  my moms cousin is a lesbian. in our family were okay with it. and she is happy that what matters. i have so many gay friends. funny story. me and my gay friend both has a crush on the same guy. we both flirted on this guy and you know what the weird part is? the guy was actually turned on by the both of us! we stopped when we realized the guy couldn't made up his mind. =)

• skald said on Jun 08, 2007....

  . Botoni.  I once said that I did not know anyone who is gay at least not out of the cupboard. Well my grandma's cousin was a famous actor and was to be gay. I don't know but as I was so young I was not thinking about that. He was famous and I was very shy with him. Did not meet him often but he would do needlepoint and all kind of things. He owned a collection of Russian icons. He was very good in comedy and I saw him at the National Theatre when I was in my 20's soon after that he died. He also made sceneries. He was the first man who was educated in that in my country. He sang wonderfully.

• silverwhisper said on Jun 08, 2007....

  botoni: come to think of it, the son of one of my wife's closest friends is also gay and again, our reaction was "um...we knew, but we're glad you came out". :> we haven't seen him in a while which is why i'd forgotten.
  
  what was your coming out experience like, botoni?
  
  ed

• moonriver said on Jun 08, 2007....

  in our immediate family, none. among my first cousins, a gay man (i stayed with him in his LA home for a week last time i was there) and a lesbian. our families had no trouble accepting them -- both came out into the open in their early teens. i will later write a separate blog about my ex-GF and a very close friend, who became lesbian lovers with me in the middle.
  
  

• RollingC said on Jun 08, 2007....

  Wow moonriver...now that's one experience most men wouldn't mind having.??? Rc

• moonriver said on Jun 08, 2007....

  i wrote about it in one of my early blogs, but only very briefly and too simplistically. i'm thinking of writing a longer version, where i can more fully explore its complexities.
  
  

• Artemis223 said on Jun 08, 2007....

  My "men" are not technically family, but since J and I have been close friends since the 4th grade, I count him as a brother.  I often joke that J and M are my gay husbands because we did live together for about 2 years in college, and about another year after my separation. 

  My nickname is "princess," given to me by J and M because I often travel in the company of two queens - their term, not mine.

  I guess because J and I pretty much grew up together, I have never given it too much thought.  That probably has to do with the neighborhood where I spent my childhood, also - it was never much of an issue in that part of Manhattan.

• zombied420 said on Jun 08, 2007....

  My best friend Mike is Gay...
   
  On August 19 he will be married to his wife for two years...Let me explain something. 3 years ago my friend Mike was a women hating peter loving kind of guy. This man swore off girls when he was 10 years old. 3 years ago, it took a wink of an eye from Shelsie to turn him around.
   
  He is still gay, but he is faithful to his wife. He tells me that he loves her more everyday, and she tells me the same thing. Once in a life time a relationship comes out like that. And oh yeah, they have a son already...He is 10 months old. And I am the Godfather, pretty cool I say.  

• lioneljay said on Jun 08, 2007....

  We had a surprising conversation with our daughter early in her senior year in high school. From the beginning of the previous summer she'd been spending a lot of time with a girl who was in her theater troupe but we didn't take any special notice. My daughter has a zillion friends and seems to go through periods where she "adopts" one as her bestest buddy ever for a while. So, in late September when she spoke with her mother and me to tell us that she was having a love relationship with her friend M, it was a challenging moment.
  
  They dated and spatted and dated and cooed for the entire school year. In fact, in the spring they attended our daughter's prom together - and wow, were they ever the most beautiful couple at that dance. Before the prom they joined about six or eight other couples for a pre-prom photo session at the home of one of their friends, a former neighbor of ours. We have dozens of gorgeous shots of them together and mingling with their friends. Everyone accepted them as beautifully and graciously as could be.
  
  By the end of the next summer they'd broken up and my daughter began seeing a boy that she'd dated a few years earlier. In the fall, when my daughter was in her first semester of college, her former girlfriend was elected homecoming queen at her high school, and another friend - also openly gay - was chosen as the homecoming king. That brought out the television reporters and cameras so one night we were treated to a news story about the former girlfriend - and one of the illustrations was a prom photo that included my daughter.
  
  I am proud of her and her many accomplishments, and I consider her strength and honesty about her relationship with M is one of her finest accomplishments. The day after she came out to us, I told her that it did not matter to me who she loved, for anyone who had a piece of her heart would always have a piece of mine.
  
  Now she seems to be more interested in dating young men but she remains actively involved in some local GLBT causes. Where she goes from here is anyone's guess - but I know that she will follow her own path with her head high and a beautiful smile on her face.
  

• MissMimi said on Jun 08, 2007....

  Your daughter sounds like a very special young woman, LJ. Whichever path she chooses to travel, sounds like she has the full support of loving parents. You just impress the hell out of me sometimes.

• lioneljay said on Jun 08, 2007....

  Mimi, thank you. She is, indeed, a remarkable young woman on many levels.

• boyzmom said on Jun 08, 2007....

  Some of my family would not be very accepting. I once heard an aunt say that she would rather her son bring home a black girl that a man. (Yes, I know that is awful) So I hope you understand why I have no knowledge of gay relatives, that word would not get around. Pretty much all of my cousins are already married or in a heterosexual relationship and the ones that are not, are not openly gay (and although I wondered about one cousin in the past, I don't really care if he is gay or not). With such a big extended family, there is bound to be some though!

• maymie said on Jun 08, 2007....

  As far as I know I have no gay family members but I could be completely wrong. I guess thats all for now.

• botoni said on Jun 08, 2007....

  Ginger....Its so wonderful that your nephews parents have worked at accepting him. He s one lucky guy to have an aunt as terrific as you! Thanks for continuing and telling us about your one same gender relationship. You rank tops in my books babe.

• botoni said on Jun 08, 2007....

  ONEINDEPTH SOUL.....Thank you so much for sharing your life with us. Yes, it is possible for some people to see us for who we are rather than defining us only by our sexuality.
  You are well on your way to a full and wonderful life. You may want to consider your decision regarding sharing information with your son. I suggest you might look into the experience of others and see what they have learned or perhaps get some advice from a counsellor.
  I m sorry your wife is still bitter. Time reduces the anger and bitterness to some degree. If your connection with her is healthy enough to suggest it there is an organization called Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). They will be able to provide her with support and shared experiences that may help her.
  I wish you the very best. If you want to have some private correspondence with me let me know and I ll ge my email address to you. Welcome to my blog by the way. I ll be following along with you.

• botoni said on Jun 08, 2007....

  RWW.....I laughed when I read your comment that most of your friends are gay because most of mine are straight. LOL. Sounds like you ve had a lot of contact with the gay world and are very comfortable. Good for you. Your a fine example of how I wish most people could relate.
  SECRETLIFE...You brought up an issue that has had devestating effects on the lives of gay men and their families. I ve worked in the AIDS world and am very familiar with the pain that can happen both for gay men and for their families when AIDS strikes. I m so sorry it has touched people close to you. Your cousin who might be gay brings up an interesting thought. Sometimes silence is a form of acceptance. For some folks its just to difficult to speak approval but their silence identifies acceptance.

• botoni said on Jun 08, 2007....

  MIRRORIMAGE & MISSMIMI.....I so love to have friends like you tell me that their world includes gays and lesbians. That kind of comfort level is heartwarming. Mimi you are truly a goddess of a parent.
  SATYR.....Mutual respect is the key to good connections.
  SWEETSOUL.....I d love to go to a Pride Parade with you!
  EILAN....I live in the heart of the Canadian bible belt and you re darn right about the fact that there are more comfortable places for gay people to live. Glad your in-law has found his own path and is happy in it.

• sweetsoul said on Jun 08, 2007....

  botoni...better get travelling then...it's this month in the big bad city in the north. Not sure which weekend it is but it's fabulous.

• botoni said on Jun 08, 2007....

  LFBNO7.....There will always be folks who havent attained a comfort level with discussing gay family members.
  SWEETCOOKIE....LOL....Someone mentioned to me that my exwife doesnt dress nearly as well since we separated.
  QUEEN......Sometimes it gets awkward when you and your gay friend like the same guy. The choice usually comes when the guy you like reveals teh side of the fence he sits on.
  SKALD....it does seem that a lot of gay folks have been blessed with more than a fair share af artistic and creative talent.
  SILVER.......I ll do a post soon to answer your question. I kind of slithered out of the closet.
  MOONRIVER.....Looking forward to your post.
  ROLLING.......Thats very true!
  ARTEMIS......One of my daughters tells her friends she must be a princess 'cause her dads a Queen. (Which isnt true but I ll let her get away with it.)
  ZOMBIED.....This happens more than everyone seems to realize. In one summer 4 of my gay friends were married in hetro relationships. That was 8 years ago and they are all still together and seemingly in love. Whats cool is how comfortable their partners are with me.
  LJ.....Wonderful! I would expect nothing less from you and yours. Heartwarming and encouraging!
  BOYZMOM....You re right. A huge family has to have one or two somewhere. Glad you dont care one way or the other.
  MAYMIE....Welcome to my blog and thanks for popping in.

• queenparanoia said on Jun 08, 2007....

  yeah the problem is he cant make up his mind!!! =)

• botoni said on Jun 08, 2007....

  SWEETSOUL.....Traditionally its this weekend.
  Queen.....He s not helping a damn bit! LOL....Maybe you should show him your dick?

• queenparanoia said on Jun 08, 2007....

  botoni: ahahahahahahahhahaah yeah maybe!!! LOL!!!! you still remember my dick!!!

• sweetsoul said on Jun 09, 2007....

  June 24 here

  http://www.pridetoronto.com/parade

• botoni said on Jun 09, 2007....

  SWEETSOUL.......Living in Calgary to long has dulled my brain. Gay Pride day is always Fathers Day here. I know that TO does theirs later. I ve even been to it. Speaking of gay events....why not grab your friends and come to Calgary for the Gay Rodeo?

• D6fer said on Jun 09, 2007....

  I had a cousin that was gay....he never came out to the family....he would always come to family gatherings with a friend.....but never came "out" .....he  died from aids I believe....they said it was liver failure....but his folks were in denial.

• husbandhater said on Jun 09, 2007....

  Bot my teenage cousin just came out to my aunt and the rest of the family.She then proceeded to introduce her s.o. . She's a pretty white girl too. Well my aunt (who we all thought was going to die. And yes I think we all knew before her) took it pretty well:~) I think in her heart she is still hoping it is a phase she is going through. She hates the guy my cousin dated before this "REVELATION" b/c she thinks this is all his "fault" due to him breaking her heart. I think she is being very honest and I support her! I love her still as much as when I saw her born. 

• rightwingwizard said on Jun 10, 2007....

  botoni:  Have you ever heard some jerk say something like, "I can tell a fag from a mile away!"  Usually they couldn't tell their ass form a hole in the ground.  In their minds everyone is gay if they don't act just they way they do around the opposite gender.  Havng said that, I do seem to have an ability to know long before others recognise it (often the individual himself)
   
  Often when I am having lunch or dinner with a gay friend he will point out a dude he thinks is attractive and ask me, "What do yo think of him?"   I'm certainly not right all the time, but I can usually tell.  I couldn't even begin to explain why, its just a sense.    One time in particular I was asked about a guy sitting alone at a nearby table and I told my friend, "He'll never leave his wife."  Well my friend was acutely interested and payed me no heed.  He got up the nerve to approach the guy, not right there on the spot but later on.  When we got together again a few weeks later he told me about it and that they got together a few times.  I was thinking, " Well, wrong again."  Then he told me that the dude is married and would not even consider a serious relationship with a man because he loves his wife, but sex is ok.  My friend, who is looking for more than just sex, stopped seeing him.
   
  Some of my gay friends get a little irritated when someone they are drooling over comes over and flirts with me and doesn't so much as acknowledge that my friend is around.  I can't explain this either, but it happens a lot.  I feel somewhat flattered by it when it happens, being the old fart that I am and understanding that I am not in the least attractive.  Perhaps what they see is the openness and ease with which I generally associate with the gay community. 
   
  I used to frequent a gay bar in the area because I knew the owner and the music was better than in any other place in town.  What I appreciated the most is that I could go in there and not worry about being hit on by anyone.  Oh yeah there was the occational ass who would come around know full well that I wasn't interested and bug me.  Sometimes I think it was on a dare or something.  Something like,"Hey Dale, go see if you can get him to tumble, I dare ya."  I say that because usually it was someone new and there was a group of guys sitting over there watching attentively. 
   
  The bar is no longer there, arson I believe.  Some ass didn't thnk gays needed a place to hang.  I guess they would rather have them in 'their' bars so they could harass them without going to a gay bar.  (Someone might see them going in and get the wrong idea, don't ya know.)
   
  rww
   

• botoni said on Jun 10, 2007....

  LOL....RWW....What you have is called gaydar by some. Mine doesnt work worth a damn. A good point you make though.....being at ease and cocmfortable around gays sometimes leads others to think you are gay. Dont let your own opinion of yourself fool you though. There seems to be a lot of younger men seeking out older stable established men. You get hit on because there is something about you that they find attractive. Glad you see it as flattering rather than insulting.

• shiningstar said on Jun 15, 2007....

  I am not aware of any family members but I have met many gay folks.  What I found in my personal experience was people who mostly loved everyone.  One lady explained to me that they have felt rejection from people all of their lives so they do not wish to make other people feel that way so they are nice to people. Traveling around this great country of America for several years hitting the small towns from Fl to Wa state I observed that if I met a gay person they were always friendly and helpful to me.  I often tell people that if down and out on your luck if you are fortunate enough to have a gay friend or meet one they will help you out.  Compassionate people who do not want to hurt others as they have been hurt.

• botoni said on Jun 15, 2007....

  Shiningstar.....What beautiful words to read! I m delighted that you ve had such positive experiences with gay people. There is some truth to your theory but I sure wouldnt claim it is universally true.

• shiningstar said on Jun 15, 2007....

  Peerhaps it is the law of attraction working for me. I have no problem being around gay people and never met one until I was probably 50 yrs old.  Ha!. A new experience for me. But since I am accepting I draw accepting people to me???I have studied the principals given in the video and book soulmates that Ramtha teaches.  A most profound learning. It explains why people "cross-over" and find themselves in one body while feeling like the other gender.It created deep compassion inside of me for all those who have suffered so much at the hands of others of the opposite sex.

• mobil said on Jun 16, 2007....

  Botoni; I've been waiting and wondering. how'd you make out last Sunday

  nite? I was gone all week, but hope it went well for you !

• botoni said on Jun 17, 2007....

  Mobile. We had a lovely meal as always. I gave the gentleman my phone number with an invitation to call and go for coffee. As yet he hasnt called and thats ok. He seemed interested still. I like the restaurant so I ll go again soon. Perhaps he ll loosen up and relax a bit. All is well.

• mobil said on Jun 17, 2007....

  Thanks for the update Botoni, good for you and I hope you hear from

  this fellow soon, let us know if things work out with this.........Continued

  Good Luck.............

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