• CreativeWoman said on Jun 06, 2007....

  Mimi,
  I can feel your sadness.  I know it hurts.  I was never "daddy's little girl" either.  Sometimes I feel like I've spent my life trying please someone who can't be pleased.
  
  Hugs,
  
  CW
  

• uniquely-ironic said on Jun 06, 2007....

  I have a second string dad too.  He was gone most of my childhood.  Now we have a very civil relationship, but I still see that his agenda is more self centered than mine.

• polarheart said on Jun 06, 2007....

  Dear Mimikins, you know that I have had similar experience with my own dad.  It would have been great if our dad's were actually wonderful ones like what we read of here at SoulCast.  Our dad's can be "lucky" (for lack of a better expression) to have had such wonderful daughters such as us, for certainly nothing that they ever did made us into the loving, compassionate beings we are today - or perhaps we are this way because we wanted to be their polar opposite.  In any event it was our own choices between right and wrong that have made us into who we are! {{{{{{{{{{MIMI}}}}}}}}}}}}

• beyondtheveil said on Jun 06, 2007....

  mimi- I, too, can only wonder what it might have been like to have had a father.
  
  I don't know if my biological father is still alive, and don't care. My step-father died a few years ago, with no good memories for me.
  
  I only "imagine" what a good father might be like.
  

• missb said on Jun 06, 2007....

  MissMimi,
  
  [[[[[[[[Hugz]]]]]]]]]
  
  Cheers!
  B
  

• MissMimi said on Jun 06, 2007....

  CW, I knows it was hard for you too. Dads play such an important role in the development of our self-esteem, don't they? {{{hugs back}}}
  
  
  u-i, it's the same for me. I have a very civil, and outwardly cordial, but distant relationship with my dad, but I don't ever expect any support from him.
  
  
  Ah, Polarbunny. I'm so glad you stopped by. You always make me feel better. It's helped my attitude alot over the last few months reading what all the good dads here hae to say. I was almost convinced that "good" and "dad" were two words that didn't fit together.
  
  
  Beyond, you're one of the good dads I was talking about. One of the sweetest things I've read here.
  
  
  MissB! Nice to see you! {{{hugs back}}}

• Eilan said on Jun 06, 2007....

  You can sit the bench with me. *hug*

• Alyss said on Jun 06, 2007....

  Can I join you on the bench too? I have reconciled myself to the differences between the Dad I had and the one I wanted but the hurt never really goes away.

• MissMimi said on Jun 06, 2007....

  I'd be honored to sit the bench with both of you. {{{hugs}}}

  In my first comment to CDub up there, it says, "I knows..."  Good grief, I squirm every time I see that.  I am such a perfectionist geek, and that one just really bothers me.  I wanna edit it!  *cries*

• skald said on Jun 06, 2007....

  Our parents are children of their times and they sure are sometimes harsh. I am sorry Mimi dear. I am really. But the parents we have or had are the ones we got and you are right you might miss him but if you don't , don't feel ashamed. 

• MissMimi said on Jun 06, 2007....

  Dear skald, I think your words are very wise. My dad is a product of his upbringing. Unfortunately he had a very harsh childhood, living in foster care, such as it was in those days. I do always keep that in mind, which is why I still do have a soft spot in my heart for him. Thank you. {{{hugs}}}

• Chudditch said on Jun 06, 2007....

  "I knows"     Oh noes.  ^ - ^
  
  

• mom said on Jun 06, 2007....

  Mimi- I am sorry that it is that way for you.  Too many times we feel that way about at least one of our parents, I don't know if anyone has ever found a way to change that.

• beyondtheveil said on Jun 06, 2007....

  Thank you, mimi. You are a treasure.

• husbandhater said on Jun 06, 2007....

  I forgave my father along time ago Mimi. For my own well being as well as his. He is still sort of a fuck up But he is the "ONLY" father I have and I love him even with all his flaws.It wasn't all bad Mims. You probably remember a good moment or two. Although you may deem him beyond approach and not worthy of such a thing try it and you will feel less fucked up as an individual. I'm sorry that our fathers are Dicks but supposidly we don't get dealt more than we can personally handel. You WILL miss him wheither you want to or not. But this saddness will come at a price.

• husbandhater said on Jun 06, 2007....

  {{{{{MIMS}}}}}} I feel your sadness. I wish you Peace and Love!

• queenparanoia said on Jun 06, 2007....

  missmimi i dont know what to say but.. {{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}

• CreativeWoman said on Jun 07, 2007....

  Mimi,
  I know my relationship with my dad did have a big impact on my self-esteem.  I never felt quite good enough in his eyes. He has mellowed with age.  It took the death of a grandchild and a son to really soften him.  It's kind of sad when you think about it.  He's my dad.  I'll always forgive him even if he doesn't ask me too.
  
  CW
  

• gentlepie said on Jun 07, 2007....

  miss mimi... i had a love-hate relationship with my dad when i was growing up... most of the times we didnt really understand the other. maybe because were generations removed from each other. without my sister as our go between i'd be in a pretty messed up situation with him. but alas we also have common passions. we bonded with our love for travel and food. now hes gone someplace happier. i miss him. i wish for the time i could have said more 'i love you's and given him tighter hugs instead of piercing side glances. i really can't say much on how you're doing now... all i want to say is try reaching out to him again and again, even if he wont make the move to reach out to you. we cant tell what wonders and miracles lurk just round the bend. god bless always. 

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