• luci-fur said on Jun 05, 2007....

  I agree with you re: the cheating thing. I am a one person-at-a-time-person too.
   
  You don't sound like a loser to me. You just sound concerned. There's nothing wrong with that.
   
  I hope this relationship gives you a sense of security and trust and freedom and all the things you want.
  love luci.

• trapbutterfly said on Jun 06, 2007....

  
  Aww, thanks Luci, that is very nice. BTW, I have a question, why is your nic: luci-fur? the daughter of lucifer sounded a bit scared for a while. Now I'm use to it I guess...lol

• luci-fur said on Jun 06, 2007....

  hehee.... yep. I'll explain.
   
  If i don't watch my thoughts, i have this tendency to walk down roads which lead me to.... like a sewerage pit of destructive ways of thinking and negative feelings (depression i guess is another way of putting it). Where i see my world through these hideous eyes of hurt and loathing and hate... just like lucifer i guess. But i'm a girl and he is supposed to be a guy lol. So that side of me is like his daughter. Scary - yes. It was rather, last time it happened. But yanno? I think most of us (perhaps not all) have the propensity towards downward spiralling to the depths of despair.   I just won't go there again, no matter what. And just like Lucifer, depression and depressive thoughts seems to tempt certain people to walk down certain alley ways to destinations unknown....
   
  But anyway, now i've learnt to watch my thoughts and stay in the realm of happy, fulfilled and nice. :)
   
  luci.

• trapbutterfly said on Jun 08, 2007....

  
  hmm, interesting: "like a sewerage pit of destructive ways of thinking and negative feelings (depression i guess is another way of putting it). Where i see my world through these hideous eyes of hurt and loathing and hate..." I kinda of see the world and most things around me that way. I wonder if it has to do with my age or what.
  I'm glad you now have warmer and more positive thoughts....I will get there someday too :-)

• luci-fur said on Jun 09, 2007....

  you will, you definately will get there. And although when you feel depressed you'll never believe it, when you aren't depressed you'll know what i mean by this.... you can if you really want to (or have to), decide to allow in the possibility that today will be ok.
   
  That's what i did and it turned into the best decision i ever made.  It's like even if you don't believe you can, just do it anyway.... allow the possibility that you will have a wonderful next 5 minutes, then after that, another wonderful next 10 mins.... etc etc.
   
  Soon you'll find you had an awesome day and you'll feel so good and encouraged by that...
   
  Well.. that was my experience with it.
  love luci.

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