Ok lets see if I can get this thing posted without losing it.  Dammit anyway.

Sorry for the hiatus, for anybody who's been curious as to the update on the current situation I blogged about below.  It's just taken so long for me to gain some composure and sort out all my thoughts, not that this ramble is going to be any less confusing than anything else.  Everything is just spinning in my head.

I left off last time wondering about how or if I would talk to my husband about the feelings I had suddenly encountered/developed about him and our (girl)friend *A*.  Well he got back from his vacation, so I took him on a long walk and spilled the beans.  I told him everything. About polyamory.  About how I was turned on by the though of him and *A*.  And how I thought it would be so wonderful if there was just some way we could all be (intimately) together.  He was a little suprised, but not really since the thoughts had crossed his mind a few times.  We both thought/discussed long and hard about everything that could be an issue, and decided this was definately something we needed to share with her.  No more secrets.

He being the braver, delivered that message.  There was no way I could do it...I'm way too shy.  And I felt it would seem a little akward and intimidating for us both to do it...so one night he went over to her house and dropped the bomb.  She was really, really suprised and not sure what to say, but at least she didn't run away screaming and vomitting.   She told him that she was both attracted to us, but never considered something like this because it is pretty off the wall, but she was going to seriously think about it.  Well...fast forward thru two weeks of long talks, group discussions, and serious debates and we all decided it would be worth a try.  Everybody laid their expecations out, boudries, fears, hopes and they were all addressed.  And so far so good.  It's all very new for everyone, but the emotions are very real. 

I think the best part about it so far is that nothing seems weird or akward.  It all seems so natural as if this how it really should be. And I never thought how leg-quakingly awesome it would be to watch my husband be intimate with someone who's always been such a good friend.  It's undescribable the feelings that run through me as I watch them kiss and hold each other. It just makes me love him a million times more to see him want to care for someone as he cares for me.  And to be touched and kissed by  *A* is so down right amazing I just don't know how to sort out all these feelings.

Last night we spent the evening sitting on the couch, cuddling, caressing, and kissing each other until it was time for me to go to bed because I worked early.  I kissed them both good night and fell asleep to the sounds of their kisses and sighes; their shallow breaths and longing moans for one another.