Now that it's truly early summer here in the northern midwest, the tee shirts have bloomed in full force. I love reading tee shirt slogans because they're usually pithy, clever, and funny. Sure, some are quite puerile and appeal mostly to people with the sense of humor of a 7th grade boy (almost any tee shirt about fishing or hunting or sports meets fits this description) but there are some real gems out there.
I have a few favorites, how about you? Here are a couple of mine (more later as they come to mind):
"First, we kill all the lawyers." Shakespeare
"Objects under this tee shirt are larger than they appear."
lioneljay posted on May 30, 2007
| views: 3207
Comments
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silverwhisper said on May 30, 2007....
there are a few goods one i've seen but undercaffeination is killing my ability to remember. i wlll return later.
ed -
Froggie_50 said on May 30, 2007....
jay:I ordered one off of Ebay once for my son that said "AS SEEN ON SPRINGER! -
lioneljay said on May 30, 2007....
Froggie, that's great. One of my guilty pleasures when I'm in a town that caters to tourists is to browse the displays of tee shirts. Many of the messages are very childish but then I have a childish corner to my sense of humor. -
MissMimi said on May 30, 2007....
My son has a whole slew of tee shirts like that.
It's only funny until somebody starts bleeding.
got crabs? (One from a seafood restaurant)
I can only please one person at a time. Today's not your day.
I can't hear you, I'm listening to the voices in my head.
He also has one that alludes to oral sex but I can't remember what it is. Something about mustache rides. -
lioneljay said on May 30, 2007....
Mimi, both my sons are fans of snide tee shirts. The younger one proudly wears one that is similar to the first one you listed. But his has a second line: "And then it's hilarious!"
Another one from my older son's collection (and I'll admit that I bought this one for him):
"So many right-wing Christians/So few lions"
And then my daughter had one that read "Boys can be fun/Every girl should own one"
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sweet_cookie01 said on May 30, 2007....
i saw a pink shirt with this one in bold letters... "Tough guys wear Pink" -
lioneljay said on May 30, 2007....
SC, I love it! :D -
botoni said on May 30, 2007....
'Hand over the ice cream and no one gets hurt!' -
MissMimi said on May 30, 2007....
LJ, now that you mention it, I remembered that my son's said the same thing on the back.
B's got one that says "Aging Graysfully" I got him one that says "Old Fart" but he won't wear it in public. :-\ I also got him a very pale pink Oxford cloth dress shirt that he doesn't like to wear. I am no longer allowed to shop for him... Harrumph. -
lioneljay said on May 30, 2007....
Mimi, steal all his underwear sometime and replace it with pink and lime green thongs. The man obviously needs to be shaken up a bit. [/snark] -
CreativeWoman said on May 30, 2007....
I have three t-shirts that I have a lot of fun with.
I'm having an out of coffee experience
I do my own stunts
Sorry, mind closed until further notice
CW
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MissMimi said on May 30, 2007....
LOL at I do my own stunts.
Heh. Also enjoying the mental picture of B finding all his skivvies replaced with thongs... Now THAT is truly inspired, LJ. -
Alyss said on May 30, 2007....
I have one that says:
If you think I'm being difficult, with a little bit of effort I can be downright impossible...
my husband bought me that one.
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lioneljay said on May 30, 2007....
CW, those are great.
Mimi, thank you very much. I'm already making a list of such things to consider doing whilst the WO is away for the summer. :D
Alyss, there is a whole genre of tee shirts of that sort that I think of as the "Leave Me Alone!" sort.
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skald said on May 30, 2007....
I once gave a t shirt to my friend in Germany. It was with a lot of pictures of all the weather samples you get in Iceland in one day. The poor guy went walking on a mountian in cold , it rained, it hailed, the sun came up it was too hot and so on. I love that t- shirt. -
evil_twin said on May 30, 2007....
I love t-shirts with funny sayings on them! My favorite one of course is: I'm the evil twin. In fact, I have a picture of me wearing that when I was about 8 years old. I should put that up since it goes with my screen name... I also have a shirt that says, Attention: due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. That one cracks me up!
-evil_twin LA
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lioneljay said on May 30, 2007....
Skald, that's a very clever idea for a tee shirt - and I can imagine that it's quite an intriguing set of images.
E_T, the "light at the end of the tunnel" line is very funny. And with all the impact that business cutbacks have on our lives these days, is quite pertinent as well.
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tamareesperes12 said on May 30, 2007....
my boyfriend has one that says 'One Nation Under Surveillance' I think its funny as heck! -
polarheart said on May 30, 2007....
My all time favourite. . .to be worn by bald or balding men:"Its not a bald patch, its a solar panel for a sex machine" -
gingersoul said on May 30, 2007....
LJ.......well, being in Texas i just had to buy this one:
"Save a horse, ride a cowboy" .......naturally, i have alwasy been very careful in wearing it when daughter was somewhere else....lol......
i got several nice comments about it........:-D.
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polarheart said on May 30, 2007....
Ginger, that is so funny but every sooooooo naughty! -
gingersoul said on May 30, 2007....
Pollie......hey, i had to buy it.....i love horses too much, you know....LOL.....
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lioneljay said on May 30, 2007....
Tamareesperes12, welcome to my blog. I love that one. It's scary true these days, isn't it?
Polarheart, that's terrific. I've seen a similar one that reads "There may be snow on the roof but there's plenty of fuel in the furnace."
Ginger, I'm not at all surprised that you liked that tee shirt. It suits your sense of humor very well. Did I ever tell you that I'm really a cowboy who got stuck in the city? ;)
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beyondtheveil said on May 30, 2007....
LJ- I saw a big husky guy in a mall with a t-shirt representing a university, across the back was ME PLAY FOOTBALL. -
uniquely-ironic said on May 30, 2007....
I got my son a T-shirt that said "The more you disapprove the more fun it is for Me" after one of his teachers pulled a real nasty move on him. -
Eilan said on May 30, 2007....
I have a Shenandoah Shakepeare t-shirt that says "We do it with the lights on," which probably isn't that funny if you're not familiar with Shenandoah Shakespeare.
The t-shirts on the Landover Baptist Church website are funny if you're a heathen.
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lioneljay said on May 30, 2007....
That's a good one, u-i; definitely plays to our stereotypes, doesn't it? Alright, Eilan, I''ll bite. Is Shnandoah Shakespeare played only in the daytime without theatrical lighting? I'll have to check out thode Baptist shirts - they might appeal to my snarky side. -
secretlife said on May 30, 2007....
Never trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die
I saw one on a guy yesterday..iknowyouarebutwhatami...we used to say that in the 3rd grade!
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gingersoul said on May 30, 2007....
LJ.......yeahhhhhh ....lets unleash our cowboyshiness then....if such a word could even exist.......:-D -
Frlncwrtr said on May 30, 2007....
LJ: I really like those sayings and have seen many that escape me right now. But, for a start "Soft judges make hardened criminals." I love it! -
Actorguy said on May 30, 2007....
My daughter has one that saysJESUS LOVES YOU - but I'm his favouriteThat cracks me up -
Glamourgirl said on May 30, 2007....
"lioneljay" - These are some of my favorites:
- So Many Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me
- If They Don't Have Chocolate In Heaven, I Ain't Going
- My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips
- (On the back of a Harley-rider) If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off
- Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional
- God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends
- Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things Are Just Better Rich
- If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In The Kitchen
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Zayda said on May 30, 2007....
Ginger's T-Shirt slogan is actually from the lyrics of a song by Big & Rich. The song prompted a whole rash of those t-shirts.
My favorites:
Danger: Intelligent Woman Inside
National Sarcasm Society: Like We Need Your Support
Don't Make Me Use My Librarian Voice
There, Their, They're: Got It?
You, Minion, Are Too Saucy.
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Zayda said on May 30, 2007....
Oh and one a friend just sent me:
Careful or you'll end up in my novel. -
lioneljay said on May 30, 2007....
SL, that first one sounds like a quote fom the movie In the Company of Men. Just a little misogynistic, wouldn't you say? Ginger, are you ready to try out my roping skills? Freelance, tee shirts seem to unleash our more vocal sides, don't they? Actorguy, that's hilarious! Glamourgirl, there is a whole genre of women's message shirts. You've listed some excellent ones. Z, I love your "there" one as well as the one about ending up in a novel. That's high snark - I love it! -
secretlife said on May 30, 2007....
LJ: I don't know.....i'm not sure if it shows a hatred of women or more of a lack of understanding....I get the sense it's more that women seem like an alien species to some men, don't you?
Anyway, i'd never thought of menstruation quite in that manner before, and it made me chuckle, that's for sure.
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genalonewolf said on May 30, 2007....
Let's see for christmas we got my(pickle here) ex a t shirt with a black and white profile of a barbie type woman on a pole... Wording-" I support single mothers"
Got sister, since she's has to sit in the truck with her hubby, a shirt that says "He loves the cock" with a big ole arrow.
Wolfy got a pretty snazzy one tho- "I'm sorry for being so fucking sexy"
God i love tshirt hell.
~P
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Frlncwrtr said on May 30, 2007....
They certainly do, LJ! Here's another - "For a small town, this one has a lot of assholes." -
gingersoul said on May 30, 2007....
Zayda......i know.....i hate that song....but the tshirt is too funny....
Glamour...i like the one about the chocolate in Heaven...lol...
LJ.....are you sure you can ride these wild Texan horses?.......:-D
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Zayda said on May 30, 2007....
Ginger--I'm not overly fond of the song, but parts of the video to it are hysterical! -
mom said on May 30, 2007....
Oh boy those are so funny.
I have ones that say:
You can't scare me I have children
Don't ever underestimate stupid people in large groups.
I'm out of my mind, leave a message
You didn't beat me, I let you win
I'm not pregnant, I'm fat.
I love men, they taste just like chicken
I made my husband a t-shirt that had a picture of a couple in a car and it shows that a muffler is stuffed in the wifes mouth. The husband says, "Gee honey the muffler sure makes this car quiet."
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Jenna said on May 30, 2007....
LJ...I have posted this before...but it is one of my favorites....a guy on a harley with the shirt saying....if you can read this...then the bitch fell off.....
and then I have also read....I am the bitch that fell off...lol
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MissMimi said on May 30, 2007....
Heehee... Mom I like the one about men tasting like chicken... -
mom said on May 30, 2007....
Mimi- LOLOL -
agentdru said on May 30, 2007....
"My parents told me I could be anything I wanted--so I decided to be a pirate."
"You had me at 'hell no'."
Just a couple of my current favorites.
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Flagcar2000 said on May 30, 2007....
This is my all-time favorite T-shirt: Below a picture of a revolver pointed at the reader it says, "Give me all your chocolate and no one gets hurt!" I know it's just like the ice cream one mentioned above; but come on, this is Chocolate! My kingdom for a Hershy Bar! -
TinSoldier said on May 31, 2007....
My brother-in-law has a pink t-shirt. It says, "Don't laugh -- it's your girlfriend's shirt!"
I saw one in an email that I want: "Finish you beer. There are thousands of people in India who aren't drunk yet."
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moonriver said on May 31, 2007....
"My sister went to London, and all she got for me is this lousy T-shirt." -
scipio said on May 31, 2007....
How about' No money - No worry''Impossible I do immediately - Miraculous takes a little longer." -
mousenphonic said on May 31, 2007....
"your village called. they want their idiot back"
"good girls are just bad girls who never get caught"
"if you think i'm a bitch, you should meet my mother"
and then my personal favourite, "if you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen"
<*ms
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lioneljay said on May 31, 2007....
SL, either way, that line tells me that there's still a huge divide between a lot of men and the women they can't figure out.
Genalonewolf (happy belated birthday, btw), the pole dancing shirt sounds like it's suitably snarky for my taste.
Freelance, that sounds like something my brother would wear (he lives in a town of about 300).
Ginger - the real question is do the Texas horses have enough stamina to ride long enough?
Mom, I love the "you can't scare me" one. How true that is!
Jenna, there does seem to be another whole genre of motorcycle themed shirts. And what an attitude they show, right?
Agentdru, so have you decided to be a pirate?
Flagcar, I saw a similar one that had the message, "hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt" done up in magazine-letter cutouts like a ransom note. Chocolate jokes seem to be yet another whole genre in the tee shirt literature.
TS, I really like the "finish your beer" line. What a great send-up of that old guilt trip that our mothers used to use.
Moon, thanks for dropping by. The "all I got was this lousy shirt" genre seems to have taken on a life of its own.
Scipio, those work-related themes crack me up sometimes. They tell truths that our bosses ought to hear but we know that they'd never listen.
Mouse, I've never heard the "sleep in the kitchen" line before. That's great.
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Frlncwrtr said on May 31, 2007....
LJ: I found this one in a police catalog some time ago - "Arrest them all and let God sort them out." Funny because before I retired we often said that, but we used "the court" instead of "God." -
inspiration2jms said on Jun 24, 2007....
Several years ago, I was in my thirties then, I had several past and current foster teens. The area that I lived in did not really have a foster care system for troubled teens and they seemed to end up at my house by one means or another.
If my kids did not find them, the local Chief of Police would bring them. (Once a state trooper went to the Chief and asked him for my address. The Chief said he would take him and the 14 year old girl he had in tow to me right after he changed out of his uniform. The trooper asked him why he had to change. Chief Adams stated: Come to her door in a uniform and you will be greeted by a 12 gauge shotgun. She is very protective. LOL) I even had a couple brought to me by their parents. Many people could not believe that I had such an influence over these children as I was rarely home. I drove a truck in those days, four days out of seven.
At the time I am relating to you, the children decided that instead of giving me a birthday party they would organize a reunion. It was a surprise. Imagine coming home and being whisked to the city park to find almost 65 young people all wearing the same t-shirt.
On the front it said: My Momma can whip your Daddy.
On the back there was a picture of a Kennworth with a flat bed and under it these words:
She throws chains for a living.
They presented me with one that was slightly different. The back was the same except it said: I throw chains for a living.
On the front it said: Mess with one of my kids and PAY!
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GethsemeneRose said on Oct 06, 2008....
I have a "PhilosoRaptor Devouring Knowledge" shirt also I like the "Gnoma Lisa" shirt a friend got me
And my all time favorites:
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