First off, this was my horoscope for today on my Yahoo page.
A new relationship that has started well is only going to get better with time. You're finally getting a realistic idea of how capable and admired you are, and you should relish this feeling. You can say farewell to emotional turmoil in this area of your life -- you've moved past all of that negative energy, for once and for all. By making tough choices and being true to what you want, you're growing in the right direction.
That’s a very good sign, right? I’m still not sure I actually believe horoscopes, but I do think there is something to the astrology stuff. I don’t know. But I like the horoscopes when they say something good that I want to believe. At that point, I think they’re real. When they tell me my life is gonna suck? Well, not so much.
Anyway, I called up Natalie a little bit ago and we had a really fun conversation. I asked her about her job and I wondered what sorts of catastrophes she dealt with on a daily basis. I’ve watched those shows on cable about the true stories of life in the emergency room. Plus, I watch ER too. I was curious if she had any good stories. She had a quite a few. She said when she first started her job, she was stationed in the actual ER, not the clinic. She hated it though because she got stuck with the overnight shift and couldn’t really have any sort of social life at all. She didn’t do it very long. But one of her first nights, this group of guys came in around 2am. One of them was totally naked except for a dish towel that someone duct taped around his waist. And his hands were superglued to his ass.
Apparently, it was a fraternity prank gone wrong. They had no idea they wouldn’t be able to get the guys hands unstuck. They tried everything and nothing worked. So he was sitting there (on his hands) and Natalie was making notes in his chart. And then the guy started shifting around and getting antsy, and he looked at her and said, “my balls itch…can you help me?” I was dying of laughter when she told me this. Poor guy. That’ll teach him to let someone superglue his hands to his ass! But when I asked her if she scratched the balls, she said no. That wasn’t in her job description. I would think not.
Then she told me a story about a man who came in with his girlfriend. He was reluctant to tell her what happened, but he had no choice. He told her that he and the girlfriend were fooling around on the couch and he accidentally sat on a Hot Wheel car. It was stuck in his butt! She said she tried very hard not to laugh, and also, she didn’t believe his story either. But she pretended to. At least until the doctor came in and had to retrieve the car with quite a bit of effort. It was up there really far. And then the guy admitted they’d been playing a dirty game and it went horribly wrong. Natalie didn’t ask for details, nor did she want them. But she said everyone talked about the Hot Wheel car for weeks afterwards. They kept it in a jar and put it on the desk up front.
I loved hearing these stories and I told her that her job sounded great. Interesting, at least. And she told me that she really did like it. She always wanted to be a nurse because she enjoys helping people and taking care of them. Her dream job is to work in the obstetrics ward because she wants to help deliver babies. She thinks that would be a very rewarding job, but she always worries about the possibility of something going wrong. Not every birth is a good one. And she admitted that her biggest downfall as a nurse was that she got too involved in her patients lives. She had trouble seeing horrible things happen to good people, which was another reason why she hated the ER. The clinic was safer because nothing life threatening ever entered their doors. She dealt with a lot of broken bones and earaches. And softball injuries. And I wondered if the reason why she liked me so much was because she had a bit of that Florence Nightingale syndrome.
That made her laugh and she said no. She didn’t get that involved with every patient. I was special. But she did admit that someone else had asked her out before. She didn’t take it seriously though. The guy was in his forties and kind of creepy. It sort of freaked her out and she asked another nurse to take over. See, this is why I was afraid to ask her out when I was there. But she said it would have been different with me. And she asked me, “did you not understand my desperate signals?” She said she was practically flashing a neon sign over her head saying, “ask me out!” I laughed and reminded her I was slightly brain damaged and also half blind at the time. I guess I missed the neon sign. But I told her again that I was glad she called me and remedied my stupidity for not seizing the moment.
And I took this opportunity to ask her if she’d like to go out again. I wanted to give her a proper date with advance notice and everything. I asked her if she was free Saturday night. I knew she had Sunday’s off, so I was mentally thinking if the night went REALLY good, she wouldn’t have to wake up early and go to work. She said that would be great, so now I have to think of something fun to do. Something better than just dinner. Actually, I don’t really care that much what we do. I’m just eager to hang out with her again.
