• moonriver said on May 29, 2007....

  duhh, i ran this thru a spellchecker, kruu, and there seems to be a problem somewhere...?
  
  

• skald said on May 29, 2007....

  What is the matter? 

• kruuyai said on May 29, 2007....

  Oh, everything is the matter.

• kruuyai said on May 29, 2007....

  And yes, moon, there seems to be a problem somewhere... in fact, there seems to be a problem everywhere.  I'm afraid to turn over the next stone...

• kelly said on May 29, 2007....

  Maybe you shouldn't turn it over.  Maybe you should pick it up and bean somebody with it.  :-)

• queenparanoia said on May 29, 2007....

  kruu... breath in... breath out.... are you okay???

• kruuyai said on May 29, 2007....

  kelly:  You have no idea how appealing that sounds.  I just wish I could figure out who to bean.  I just have this generalized angst that seems to have no focus... no end in sight.... I just want to scream and scream and then fall asleep for six months or so and wake up and have all my petty, little problems solved. 
   
  queen:  I'm breathing, I'm breathing.  I don't know if I'm okay.  It doesn't feel like it.  Gotta just keep putting one foot in front of the other and hope this passes.  It's been a couple of days so far.

• queenparanoia said on May 29, 2007....

  why what happened???

• kruuyai said on May 29, 2007....

  queen:  nothing... absolutely nothing.  Maybe that's the problem.  I just can't figure out why I'm here and where I'm going.  Doesn't seem to be anywhere interesting to go with my life any more.  I'm so bored and unnecessary.  How's that for a pity pot?  But if I'm going to be honest with you, that's exactly how I feel right now and how I've been feeling.  I don't know.  Maybe it's just hormones and shit.  I feel like, if I could just pull my head off my shoulders, like plucking a tick out of my skin, then everything would feel okay.  I guess that means the problem is all in my head.

• polarheart said on May 29, 2007....

  Kruu, babes. . .I think I once said that I thought your screen name made me think of a primal scream (ha-ha). I'm so sorry for you and its very very hard going through that in a foreign country.  I think we usually feel that way just before things change.  I will send you an email soon.
   
  {{{{hugs}}}} Polar

• skald said on May 29, 2007....

  Oh my dear Kruu. This is awful. I wish I could help in some way but at least I can listen. I´ll be checking on you soon again. I am so sorry that you feel this way. {{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}

• silverwhisper said on May 29, 2007....

  kruu, i hope you're feeling better now?
  
  ed

• queenparanoia said on May 29, 2007....

  oh kruu!!! relax ok? i think you need a vacation..=)

• moonriver said on May 29, 2007....

  kruu -- you really have to end your primal scream soon. mine is scheduled for june 2, and we don't want divided attention in planning that east european itinerary now do we?
  

• gingersoul said on May 29, 2007....

  Kruu.....................can i scream with you? {{{{{hugs}}}}

• Alyss said on May 29, 2007....

  I hope you're feeling less like screaming now...

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on May 29, 2007....

  (((warm embrace)))
  
  I hope you will find refuge soon
  
  Regards,
  
  Paper~
  
  

• botoni said on May 29, 2007....

  KRUU....You go right ahead and have your primal scream! When you ve got it all out take a look at what an important person you are to us here at SC. If your love, talent and caring self shows through on here it stands up and shouts in real time. You ve got a dose of the doldrums. If it doesnt clear soon talk to your doc and get some professional advice. Take care of you!

• MsStar39 said on May 29, 2007....

  Kruuyai
  Hope you feel better soon, just take one day at a time.(((hugs)))
  

• skald said on May 29, 2007....

  Kruu. Please do as Botaoni says if  this goes on for long. Luv. 

• beyondtheveil said on May 29, 2007....

  kruu- Maybe that scream (Wow, what a scream!) was what you needed.
  
  If not, could it be time to come home?
  

• RollingC said on May 29, 2007....

  Sometimes one has to just let it out.... then you recharge for the next round in life.
  Rc
  

• MissMimi said on May 29, 2007....

  Let it out Kruu! {{{{hugs}}}}

• softball_chick said on May 29, 2007....

  that was a long scream...

• DogLips said on May 29, 2007....

  You took the word right out of my mouth.

• boyzmom said on May 29, 2007....

  Screaming is great, believe it or not I was so shy that I couldn't scream when I was in school! My throat would tighten up and not a sound would come out. I learned how to scream in a drama class and it felt so good! I want to scream with you just for the fun of it! And then I will send you all my love and hugs to help you feel better about things and remember that life is like a rose, sometimes we get stuck on the thorns but other times we get to enjoy the petals. Does that make sense? OMG- I don't know what I am on but it is good stuff making me all "life is good" and when I figure it out, I will send you some! 

• Zayda said on May 29, 2007....

  Letting it out sure feels good, doesn't it Kruuyai? You just let it out any time you need to, hun.

• Jenna said on May 29, 2007....

  K.......I am holding you close......letting you scream....and whispering in your ear....all will be ok....it will you know....this life is full of mysteries...embrace the mystery....and know that all be ok.....kissing you on the forehead......and saying a prayer.....I  wish you well......

• Susmaryosep said on May 29, 2007....

  Ya, life can be a problem........ life is a walk towards death..... But screaming is the escape valve.... averting the inevitable. . . .

• Bluesnake said on May 29, 2007....

  You stumble upon a cockroach in your closet?

• hotaka said on May 29, 2007....

  
  Hi kruuyai. It's nice to see you here again if that makes you feel any better. Don't worry about the screaming. Maybe listen to Pink Floyd's The Wall to help you through this frustrating time. I think it's up to you to find your purpose. No one can call it for you. You are always appreciated here. I missed you.

• Susmaryosep said on May 30, 2007....

  bluesnake,
  you scared of cockcroaches? Make sure your kitchen is spotless.... ! :-)
  
  
  

• tazcat said on May 30, 2007....

  There are probably times we all need a primal scream.  I am with you on this one... and am tempted to join right in..................................................................

  -taz

• kruuyai said on May 30, 2007....

  Polar: Yeah, I remember that.  I thought it was funny at the time, but you may have had something there.  And yes, there are a lot of big changes coming up.  I can usually deal with that kind of stress... god knows I've gone through it often enough... even this kind of change coming up where I have very little idea of what the changes will actually be... I think it's just the complication of having to deal with all the enfuriating paperwork and details of getting my financial life in order... and having it come right at the most inconvenient moment possible... when all i ever wanted was a maintenance-free lifestyle.   You know, it takes a hell of a lot of energy to disappear off the face of the earth.  If I wasn't such a wimp, I'd walk away from my small nestegg completely and just walk into obscurity somewhere.  Using my wits to survive would be so much easier than trying to hang on to what little I have.

  skald:  Thanks.  I always appreciate your support.

  ed: Yes, somewhat.  It seems like some of the problems will be easier to fix than I thought yesterday.

• kruuyai said on May 30, 2007....

  queen:  My dear, I am on permanent vacation!  But you may be right anyway.  I'm taking off on a hitchhiking trip to Turkey in a couple of weeks.  Hopefully everything will be set by then, and I won't have anything left to worry about.

  moon: okay, okay, you'll get your turn.  But don't you think our screams could resonate with each other?  Come on... we could make beautiful music together!  I'll have to get busy on finding some charming Eastern European villages.  Maybe Cesky Krumlov would be a good place to head after Prague.  They've got a beautiful castle and lots of nooky little medieval pubs and restaurants where you can warm up in front of the fire and listen to Gypsy music.  (check out my travelblog for photos).  Hmmmm, that gives me an idea... we could try to find some Roma villages and dance the night away to those soulful gypsy violins....  :)

• kruuyai said on May 30, 2007....

  ginger: Sure... what key will you be screaming in, so I can plan accordingly?  Maybe we can get everyone to join in and we can have the "scream heard 'round the world."  Seriously, are you feeling like screaming too?  I hope you're okay.  Here's one of my classic lopsided hugs to make you feel better {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

• kruuyai said on May 30, 2007....

  Alyss:  I wasn't feeling much less like screaming until I opened up this page and saw all these wonderful comments.  Amazing what a little attention will do for a body, isn't it?  Thanks for dropping by.  :)

  PAPER: Great to see you again!  Where have you been?

  botoni:  You are so sweet!  {{{{{{BIG HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}  re: the doc... I tried Prozac once.  Great stuff.  Too bad about the side effects.  Oh well.. you can't have everything

  MsStar:  Well, here you are, like a blast from the past... I haven't seen you in quite a while.  Nice to see you.  {{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

• kruuyai said on May 30, 2007....

  beyond:  Yep... to tell you the truth, it might have given me more immediate relief to have done the scream in real life... but this way sure has its benefits.  It's nice to have all the support.  Time to go home???????   Hmmmm, and where might that be?

  RollingC:  This one was a long time coming... I think my exhaust is still leaking.  :p

  Mimi:  It's getting there, kiddo.. it's getting there. 

  softball:  Ha!  It wasn't nearly as long as I wanted it to be.  I just wanted to lay on the "A" key and let 'er rip, but the darned text box wouldn't skip down to the next lline on its own, so I had to go to a certain point and then press "enter."   I mean, how effective (or primal) can a primal scream really be, if you have to constantly interrupt it to press "enter?"

• kruuyai said on May 30, 2007....

  DogLips:  I love your handle!  You took the words right out of my mouth, Ohhhh it must have been while you were kissing me....   ewwwww, dog germs!

  boyzmom:  I think we've got a group going now!  Let's all scream for world peace...  or ice cream... something like that.  Reminds me of the story of the king who wanted to hear what it would sound like if everyone in the kingdom screamed at the same time, so he ordered all his subjects to come and scream in unison on a given date.  But there was one little boy who also wanted to hear what it would sound lilke, but he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to hear it if he was screaming himself, so he decided to just open his mouth and pretend to scream, but really just listen.  Only he couldn't keep a secret, so he told a friend what he was going to do, and his friend told a friend, etc.  Everybody wanted the same thing, so when the fateful moment came, everyone in the kingdom gathered and opened their mouths and listened to the sound of the whole kingdom screaming.  Well, the king and everyone else came to the conclusion that the sould of the whole kingdom screaming was silence.  :)

• moonriver said on May 30, 2007....

  kruu -- you go ahead with ginger in a contrapuntal scream. i'm still getting my act ready, and when it's finished, i'll join in, and it'll be a howling scream. a cappella. yeah.
  
  cesky krumlov? i'll check it out. but i was hoping for a quick sidetrip to vienna... look up an old friend there... in the meantime, although i'm barely in the mood now, i can hardly wait till june 2, so i'll let 'er rip in the key of G, two, three, four.... aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  oooh, that felt good! :-)
  
  

• kruuyai said on May 30, 2007....

  Zayda:  Thanks, girl. 

  Jenna: I appreciate your support.  {{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  Susmaryosep:   Just what I needed to hear.

  taz:  Okay.. it's unanimous.  At this time tomorrow.....

• Susmaryosep said on May 30, 2007....

  kruuyal,
  Sorry about that! When you visit your 96 year old toothless and totally deaf and drooling parent in a nursing home DAILY, you can be a bit fatalistic....... Meditation really works in instances like these.. try it....
  
  

• kruuyai said on May 30, 2007....

  Sus:  I have....  and you're right.  They say that the most important thing we can do in life is to prepare for our death.

• Susmaryosep said on May 30, 2007....

  Kruu,
  How true can that be! Important thing to realise is not the number of friends that you have now, but the number who will look into your coffin when you are dead...brutal but true. So the important thing to always remember is not tot demand things for yourself, but to ask yourself, are you ok! It takes so little to be ok, believe me..
  

• skald said on May 30, 2007....

  Kruu.  How are you to day? I hope you feel a bit better. 

• silverwhisper said on May 30, 2007....

  at approximately 12:45 am today, i could have used a good primal scream. missing the train by 3 minutes and being obliged to wait another whole hour for the next one can make a body just a smidge testy. this is even moreso when that same body's been up for 22 hours and is just leaving the office for the day...
  
  ed

• boyzmom said on May 30, 2007....

  That is a funny story. The whole village screaming sounds like silence. Maybe there's a moral to that story somewhere.

• kruuyai said on May 31, 2007....

  Sus: What good does it do me to have people peering into my coffin when I'm dead?  I'd rather be able to enjoy my friends while I'm still alive, thank you.  If they just abandon me all my life and then gawk at me when I'm dead, what good is that?  On the other question, yep, I've done that reality check... still got a roof over my head... still got food... sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't

• kruuyai said on May 31, 2007....

  skald: How do I feel today?  In a word: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Still.  And hungry.  But thanks for asking.  {{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}

• kruuyai said on May 31, 2007....

  ed:  What were you doing... blogging all night?  :)

  boyzmom: There must be.  Help me think one up.  Meanwhile, let's just do it!

• silverwhisper said on May 31, 2007....

  no, i was working, sadly. :<
  
  ed

• kruuyai said on May 31, 2007....

  ed: That is sad.  I haven't pulled an all nighter since I was in college... at least not that kind of all nighter.  ;-)

• silverwhisper said on May 31, 2007....

  and i'm staring right now at the prospect of having to pull another one tonight. this makes me cranky.
  
  ed

• kruuyai said on May 31, 2007....

  Gee, ed, I wonder why you have to pull these all nighters to get caught up on your work... could it be all that blogging you do during work hours?   :)

• silverwhisper said on May 31, 2007....

  no. it's because the people who designed peachtree should be shot.
  
  in the kneecaps.
  
  and forced to crawl through mikes of broken glass.
  
  ed

• kruuyai said on May 31, 2007....

  Peachtree Schnapps?  Oh, I love that stuff! Send some my way, will ya?

• RollingC said on May 31, 2007....

  Try some peppermint schnapps with beer chasers.... that'll put you on easy street.!

• boyzmom said on May 31, 2007....

  Unfortunately for some, the squeaky wheel doesn't get noticed when there are so many other squeaky wheels. So I think the moral should be to listen more and scream less so that people who are really needing a scream can be heard! 

• beyondtheveil said on Jun 01, 2007....

  kruu- I'll wait a bit later to ask my question about "going home."
  
  When you don't post, I wonder about how you're really doing.
  

• Susmaryosep said on Jun 01, 2007....

  duhhhh! Have a good day!
  
  

• kruuyai said on Jun 01, 2007....

  Hey all... I haven't said it yet today, but ..

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  FYI  .... this is a new one, rather than a continuation of the old one. 

• RollingC said on Jun 01, 2007....

  How do you do that? Do you beat your chest while screaming?  :>)

• kruuyai said on Jun 04, 2007....

  I would, but it's hard totype that way!  Anyway, I've had alternating days of AAAAHHHH!!!!! with dyas of Aaaahhhhhhhhh! (the kind of ahhhhh you get when you pop a cork or the girl from Iwo Jima walks by). First, I wa stressed out about all the things I had to do before my hitchhiking trip to Turkey.  Then, my trip got cancelled and I breathed a sigh of relief.  Then, I fell in love (but don't know yet if it's mutual), then, i found a new hitching partner for Turkey and got stressed out again, then, I cancelled my trip to Turkey indefinitely, then, I found an apartment in Prague (ahhhhhhh).  It looks likethe ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh's are overtaking the AAAAHHHHHS! Keep your fingers crossed for me.

• queenparanoia said on Jun 04, 2007....

  i will kruu =)

• kruuyai said on Jun 05, 2007....

  Thanks, queen... the vote's still out.  :)

• harriedpsychmajor said on Jun 05, 2007....

  It looks really cool when you watch it scroll from one side to the other.

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