So I am going to the bar tonight. I don't want to, but I have friends and these friends need to feel something; they are in search of some love or whatever bullshit they can find satifying while drunk off their ass. And I don't want to go because I know that there is nothing there for me. Getting drunk could be fun, but it more makes me sick and feel shitty. Why would I want to do this to myself? How could I ever consider this fun? All the girls are just there to have people buy them drinks. I am still going to go, but I really have to start with a different mind set. Going like this; I know I will have a bad time. Maybe random sex with a stranger is a good thing. It has been a long time... ...look for me passed out someplace. Tell me to go the fuck home.