Dad vs Daughter vs Mum
What we want:.....
Daughter
Wants a car; has paid the equivalent of finance costs; has cost us $2000 for repairs still not completed; has a Learner licence; wants the Car fixed to use for getting the Restricted licence (next stage up); cannot afford driving lessons; cannot afford parts, running or compliance costs
Dad
Is able to repair the car; wants to see Daughter paying for the costs; wants to see Daughter with her Restricted Licence; is willing to pay for driving lessons and test
Mum
Wants to see purchase costs of Car being paid; wants to know Daughter has a job; expects Daughter to get herself to work; wants Daughter to pay board; wants Dad and Daughter to routinely help around the house; wants Daughter to be more self-reliant
What we need:...
Daughter
Get a job – within walking distance of home, or use public transport or cycle.
Keep a tight hold on money earned.
Curb the spending on non-essentials.
Pay something regularly off the debt to mum n dad.
Take up the offer of driving lessons and stick with it.
Take the test in the instructor’s car.
Mum
Be assertive – say ‘no’ to requests for money, tobacco, alcohol, dress alterations, driving, use of car. Continue tracking her expenses re car
Dad
Continue to work on car ‘till it’s repaired and complies with WOF n Rego. Hold it ‘till daughter resumes payments;
Be assertive – say ‘no’ to requests for money, tobacco, alcohol, dress alterations, driving, use of car.
Sidelines
Car cost $3500; Finance costs $2250; Repair costs $2000 approx; Value $600 approximately
Other borrowing (clothes, make-up, tobacco, booze) $1750
Mum n Dad have facilitated or accommodated her demands which are conceptually reinforced by our knowledge and experience of her anger management, violence, petty crime and drinking problem history. We know we need to keep trying to put the brakes on but dread more failure. In past attempts by professional intervention daughter has made the minimal effort to complete programmes, but did not sustain the effort required to delay gratification.
