Its true what they say about taking your issues where ever you go, and while I was there I was determined to get to the bottom of mine. 

I missed my children terribly and thought a good way to remedy this was to call in, but I was wrong.  When I would call and check in with the children I would get a flat response from my ex.  I felt so distraught by this that it made it difficult for me to connect with the people in my class.  My situation at home felt so complicated and unstable, which made me feel complicated and unstable.  I cried myself to sleep at night, even after having a wonderful day and learning so much.  I just couldn't rest not really knowing what was going on with my children.  I didn't want the other's to know I was crying myself to sleep, so after a few days I moved my tent to a more isolated spot.

It was a beautiful spot nestled in a little grotto by the stream.  The solitude felt safe and quiet.  I was aware of my attraction to Ian, but kept in mind the following facts (1) he was an exciting person living the kind of life I always wanted for myself - which was the reason for my attraction and (2) I am far from living that life.

I tried to stay focused on what I was learning - which was wonderful.  Every time I got the chance to practice the massage techniques I felt like this is part of the great life I've always wanted.

Tuesday night our class watch The Secret compliments of the teacher.  It became my regular routine to wake up early do my hot/cold plunge meditation and walk up the hill to class, then do the same meditation at night before I went back to my tent to read the nights assignment.

Our first class ended in the early afternoon on friday.  We got our certificates and some of the students went home for the weekend.  I was enrolled in the weekend Business Skills Class which didn't start until 8 am the following morning.  So I had a little bit of time to explore the resort.  I was planning to find somewhere to do laundry to prepare for the next week, but one of the students who lived close by offered to do some for those that were staying the next week. 

I went to the little market, got some snacks, a card to send home and a thank you gift for my ex. It wasn't anything fancy, just a cool looking sticker that he could put on his truck or somewhere.  I thought that maybe it would help him to understand that I was grateful to him for watching the kids, and that maybe the reason I was getting the cold shoulder over the phone was because he thought I was checking up on him, when I really needed to connect with my children.

Then I went up to the common kitchen to see if I could meet some of the other people hanging around the resort.  I ran into Ian who was chatting with a girl he met a few nights before.  They seemed to be enjoying each other's company, and I didn't want to intrude, so I went for a soak, a little hike and then to bed.