Many people believe that love is so exclusive and unique that even entertaining the thought that you're in love with two people means you're not really in love with either. But that's not what I think. The idea that love has to be confined to only one person is a myth and most likely what we were brought up to believe in..
The truth is, most of us don't want to entertain the possibility that our love can extend to two individuals at the same time, because it's too scary to imagine being in such a confusing state!
Alas, our hearts have a lot more capacity for affection than we give them credit for - or are brave enough to recognize.
Think about it: We can love more than one of our children and parents at any given time, and appreciate each of them for his or her own special attributes. In the same way, different romantic partners offer different things.
Let's say you meet someone who is loyal, totally smitten, and offers you personal and economic stability. His good heart and good intentions make you love him. He's what you want. But then you meet a poet. He is soulful, gifted, romantic and impractical. He's the epitome of every romance novel hero. You become friends, you're attracted to him, you dream of him at night. He's what you want.
Impossible? No. Impractical? Yes. And that's why we try to figure out who's the "real" love of our life, so we can end the confusion..
Of course, if you love two different people, you don't have to act on it. Say you spot your old flame at your high school reunion and realise that the relationship embers still smolder. You, a happily married woman, are shocked at your reaction.....!
Well, you needn't be. We hold a special place in our heart for first loves — the ones who got away. It doesn't say anything bad about your marriage or your relationship values, it says only that you had - and have - something special with someone from your past. You can acknowledge that and still be true to your vows.
If you are deeply attached to more than one person, the real question is: Can you be happy just knowing your heart swells with so much love, or do you need to get involved with both individuals?.
