The first time I'm intimate with a new woman, I'm always slightly self conscious. I'm always curious if she's happy with the way I look. It's great when they flat out tell you that they think you're hot. But that doesn't always happen. I mean, it's a reasonable assumption to make that they obviously find you attractive, or they wouldn't be getting naked with you in the first place. But there's always that big unveiling moment when you're just praying she'll say something like, "oh wow!" I mean, that's a great compliment right there. It's simple, yet highly effective. But barring that statement, there's just no real way to know what she's really thinking.
And I'm not just talking about the obvious physical feature that I hope she's impressed with. It's everything. My body is nice, but it's not pumped up. I don't work out, really. I like to play basketball and sometimes I jog. But basically, my body is not a pristine specimen of perfection. I'm not overweight, but I'm not muscle bound either. I'm average. And I'm not one of those guys who choose to shave off every last drop of hair I have on my chest (or elsewhere). That's too much fucking work. I bow before you women because you have so many parts to shave. I have no idea how you do it, but it's nice.
But basically, I'm a little curious what it is most women expect of a man in the looks department. Is chest hair disgusting? I realize if a guy looks like he's wearing a fur sweater, then it's a little excessive. But is it really necessary for us to be hairless? Is that sexier? And tell the truth now. Just how important is size to a woman? One of my female friends said it doesn't matter as long as your tongue works.
This is all purely curiosity on my part. I'm just interested in hearing what women have to say about this subject. There's so much talk everywhere about women being afraid of what men think of their looks, but not many of us guys are open to admitting that we're just as worried about the same thing. And I know it's not just me this time. I've had conversations with other people more sane than me.
Anyway, that's my random post for the afternoon. I'm still feeling good about last night, and I talked to Florida girl earlier too. But I'm not going to be able to see her tonight though. They're having a girls night out because the fiancee wanted her to meet the rest of her friends. And I actually went ahead and made plans too.
My brother called me and said they were going to have lasagna for dinner. And his wife makes enough for ten people, so he wondered if I wanted to join them. I haven't been over there for awhile and it'd be good to see my niece. She's 7. And apparently she's been asking when her favorite uncle is coming over to play with her. That's sweet. I'm her only uncle, actually. But it's good to know that I'm the favorite in a non-existent competition.
Next on my agenda is kicking T.'s ass for telling my secrets. But that'll have to wait until later because he's working on some commercial today. But he'll be hearing from me...
evil_twin posted on May 09, 2007
| views: 12994
Comments
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silverwhisper said on May 09, 2007....
don't mind me, just curious to see what kind of comments you get. :>
ed -
jasonrest said on May 09, 2007....
dude, I didn't even read your entire post. Didn't need to. One woman will love chest hair while another will not. The one thing that will always,always get you where you want to be is confidence. Women can smell that shit a mile away. Of course, it doesn't hurt to shower and work out. My options have tripled since I've started working out recently. I've gained about 20 pounds of muscle however, before that, I had the confidence. good looks and a firm chest are only supporting details. -
jasonrest said on May 09, 2007....
The most important question is "Do you think you're hot?" fuck what she thinks. love yourself. that sounds gay but try it. I do it all the time. candles, soft music, my right hand, ahhhhhhhhhh......memories. -
uniquely-ironic said on May 09, 2007....
I would imagine each woman has their own list, but generally speaking, a guy doesn't have to be nearly muscle bound to be attractive. It's actually nice when a guy is average to nice looking and not perfect. A lot less pressure.I like startling color eyes. I like an average to athletic body. I prefer taller men, but have dated some short men too. Your equipment is a lot less important than you might think. Short of having to go look for it because it's so small, it doesn't matter. The sexiest part of a man is his brain. I will do crazy things for a guy who is reasonably smart, has a good sense of humor, is kind and modest. Those are deal breakers for me.I will overlook pot bellies, bald spots, less than perfect physique and other afflictions if a man makes me feel special and treats those I love with kindness and consideration. -
jasonrest said on May 09, 2007....
prime example......read carefully.
you were so concerned and now look, here's one that doesn't like all the muscle. does that make my efforts any less pertinent? no. Because "fuck what she thinks". (no offense ironic) I speak in general. There are still plenty of other women who think the opposite. you cannot appeal to them "all" however you can appeal to yourself.
She says she will overlook pot bellies, bald heads(funny, this and grey hair was once a sign of wisdom) and blah blah blah. who says these are bad things? society? well who decides your beauty? will it be uniquely-ironic, stacey, mary, or you? -
fearing said on May 09, 2007....
E_t - I will not begin to speak for women in general. I can tell you what I find attractive and what my friends say they find attractive. Looks are good but they aren't everything. They'll get you in the door but you better have something to fall back on. I think you have the personality covered so don't worry about it.
I have found that women are attracted to men who are strong, confident, a little cocky and most importantly - can make them laugh (not class clown). Most of us females see with our hearts more than our minds. Men I know are more visual.
My ex-fiance was a decent looking man. He was a tad on the heavy side but he carried it well on a 6' 1" frame. He had glass blue eyes and salt and pepper hair, a mustache and goatee. I thought he was one of the sexiest men alive from the first date but not because of his looks. The first thing that got me on our first date was we went dancing to a club with some friends. It was so crowded you couldn't walk through the crowd and we needed to get to the other side of the room. He took my hand behind his back and started walking. The way he did it - it cleared a path for me. I saw another man bigger than my date coming towards us and figured my date would turn sideways because it seemed the polite thing to do. He didn't. He didn't budge. He made that guy go around us. lol. It impressed me. He was never arrogant but he knew how to be a man and that beats looks any day!
If you are interested, there is a book called "Wild At Heart" by John Eldridge. It was written for men but I read it b/c I am raising 2 boys. To me, it summed up men, explained them to me and I knew then what I was looking for in a mate.
You are doing fine by the way. You seem to have all the important stuff women I know look for. Can't speak for the rest of them.
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evil_twin said on May 09, 2007....
Thanks for the comments so far. I know that every woman wants something different, just like every man wants different things. That's why I said I wanted opinions. It was really just a curious question because I wondered if some of the 'typical' things I'd heard about women's preferences, were generally true. And the best way to find that out, was to ask actual women, right?
jasonrest--You are right about the confidence part. That's important. For both sexes, really. But mostly, I was just interested to know how crucial some of these things were to the average woman. But yeah, everyone is different.
uniquely-ironic--Thanks for your opinion. It's nice to hear that you are willing to overlook imperfections if the guy is otherwise worth it. See, that's the type of thing I was curious about. And just so everyone is clear, I'm fully equipped under the hood. No magnifying glass necessary. I've never had any complaints in that department, thankfully. But I did kind of wonder if that made me hotter, or if it didn't really matter to anyone but me.
fearing--Thanks for telling me what you think. And for saying that you think I'm doing fine. I always thought I was a pretty good catch until a couple of people kept throwing me back. Then I wondered. That's probably why I asked this question in the first place.
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allswell said on May 09, 2007....
hi evil t...well for me personality is very important and you definatly have a great one! as far as the "size" i don't have alot of experience for comparison but personally it's how you work it not the size that matters. as far as body well i'm not real picky i've been attracted to men that are small as well as a little over weight and also men that are really built. of course being married for the last 15 years i've only looked never got to experience anything other than my husband. but with me being single i'm starting to notice alot more...and it's fun! lol....a man that's clean, dresses nice, oh and a nice smelling collone...oh that is a turn on for sure! having a good job doesn't hurt! .....but getting back to what i started with....personality is the most important...making me laugh that's what i like most!! -
evil_twin said on May 10, 2007....
allswell--You're very sweet. I'm glad I've got a good personality. And it's very interesting to me that of the women who responded to this, I think all of you said that was the most important part. And since I shower regularly and have a decent job, I guess I get a few bonus points! I think my biggest insecurity is not being tall enough. Which is actually stupid, since it's never really stopped me from getting a date. But I'm barely 5'10"...okay, I'm 5'9". But saying 'barely 5'10"' makes me sound taller, doesn't it? -
allswell said on May 10, 2007....
don't feel so bad evil t even 5'9 is tall for me i'm only 4'11 but usually i just tell people i'm 5'0 it doesn't sound quite as short. that's usually the first thing people ask me when they see me so i'm used to it! so don't worry 5'9 is really not bad ...that's a good height....at least for me! lol -
evil_twin said on May 10, 2007....
allswell--You're 4'11? See, if I was standing next to you, I'd feel like a Greek God. I dated a woman once who was 5'10". And she loved wearing heels, so I suddenly felt like a garden gnome standing next to her... -
allswell said on May 10, 2007....
hey i could make you feel like a Greek God in more ways than my height....lol!! -
evil_twin said on May 10, 2007....
allswell--Okay, my mind went to a good place. That was your intention, right? Hmm...I'd like to feel like a Greek God...what're you doing later? (I'm kidding!) -
lynblair said on May 10, 2007....
Alrighty, hair?? It doesn't really matter as long as it's not beastly. If it is, trimming is order, but if you are more animal like... haha then maybe waxing would be an issue.. but for the most part, men are suppose to have hair. Men with no body hair freak me out. I dated a guy that shaved his arms and I absolutely hated it, but he had this whole body builder thing going. That's another point, body builders or really extremely muscular guys??? Ew.. are you serious. Unless there is real agenda that you are going to use those muscles for, I don't see a point spending 3 hours at a gym everday. Working out is good, because that means you care, but I can find more activities and fun things to do with my time. Size? Hmm I would say that it doesn't matter, but every woman knows that their curiosity level peaks when they think a guys package might be on the big side. Average size guys and bigger.. works. Small guys... well lets just hope your woman is rather tight in the nether regions. (Being way too honest right now) Let's just say having a guy with an abnormally small penis is like having a girl that is a dead-fish in bed. It just sucks. From the sounds of it though.. evil .. you have nothing to worry about. LOLBut see these are all outside things... some of them can be a main factor in what you want, or they could as easily not be. It really all depends on your mind set and what you want. Everyone is different in what they like. When you like a person.. you seem to find yourself accepting somethings that you wouldn't on a regular basis. -
allswell said on May 10, 2007....
hey i'm not kidding.....tell me when and where! oh and putting your mind in a good place "was" my intention i would LOVE to make you feel like a Greek God! lol -
justhavehope said on May 10, 2007....
hi evil t, i just wanted to say first of all hi how are you....? second i feel that with every guy i tend to change alittle what i'm looking for in a man. it depends on their looks, their talents, just as every womans needs are different so are things about men. and most women with love them if they care about you....much lovejusthavehope -
mom said on May 10, 2007....
my main thing that I look for in a man is a pulse -
allswell said on May 10, 2007....
ok my consious just won't let that one go! i'm kidding...i'm sure you could tell from our previous conversations that i'm not like that.....but it sure is fun pretending...right? besides i think i have a crush on your "personality" i just can't help myself but to flirt with you a little :)
alls
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uniquely-ironic said on May 10, 2007....
ET - 5'10" still puts you in a pretty good position to date a lot of women. As I've said, I have dated shorter men. One was in fact and inch shorter than me (and I'm not tall at all) and I still have warm fuzzy feelings about him. Unless you have 2 noses or an extra arm you sound like a good catch for any thinking woman. -
pessimisticvaunt said on May 10, 2007....
That a girl mom.. Tell em how it is...lol...I'm still smiling -
evil_twin said on May 10, 2007....
lynblair--Thanks for your thoughts. I'm not a hairy beast, so I think I'm doing alright by your standards. And when it comes to working out, I'd prefer to play sports of some type instead. Pumping iron bores the shit out of me. I've done it in the past, but like you said, unless I'm gonna be the next Mr. Universe, why spend so much time in a gym? Would your curiosity be peaked if I said I had a ten inch lightning rod? The mystery though is, is it in my pants or on top of my apartment building in case of a thunderstorm?
allswell--No worries with the flirting! It's cool. You were making me smile. And I think you are like that, but you're just afraid to show that side of yourself. Don't be! It's awesome. Guys love flirting. :-) <--See, I'm smiling right now because you said you had a crush on me.
justhavehope--Hey! Thanks for your comments. I guess when I meet that special woman, she'll think I'm perfect, right? Just like I'll think the same of her.
mom--Too funny! A pulse, eh? Well, I definitely have that covered. I'm not a vampire or anything. But it's nice to see that some women have simple tastes.
uniquely-ironic--I'm actually 5'9"....but it usually works out okay because the majority of women are smaller than that. And that's what I generally look for. I've noticed that most women don't care if I'm not 6 feet tall, but it bothers me if I'm shorter than the woman I'm with. Why lie? It makes me feel more stud like if I'm taller than the woman I'm with.
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lynblair said on May 10, 2007....
Hahaha.. oh my lord!! I just laughed and my boss looked at me like I am retarded!! Well.. I am hoping that it's not on top of your apartment building.. that could be dangerous!! Then again... if it's in your pants.. I might gaze in awe and then run away! ;) -
evil_twin said on May 10, 2007....
lynblair--I got your attention, didn't I? Wow. You're right. That works! And no, it's not ten inches, so don't run away. But you can gaze at it with awe if you'd like... -
lynblair said on May 10, 2007....
Dude.. you are crackin' me up!! Ha... busted!! Totally blushing. Dang you! -
evil_twin said on May 10, 2007....
lynblair--I made you blush? Awesome. Now you'll never be able to hear the words 'lightning rod' without thinking of me with curiosity... -
lynblair said on May 10, 2007....
Yeah thanks for that!! I will forever carry you in my memories.. and what better way to remember you!! LOL -
fairytaleromance said on May 11, 2007....
Being 5'7" I tend to like it when a guy is taller than that... aside from that you sound like you could be quite attractive physically. Overly muscled is a definite turnoff, as is too much cockiness. A little goes a looooong way!
For me the most attractive thing is tenderness towards me and a big heart towards everyone. But that's my criteria for my favorite friends too... so there's gotta be a spark. When your eyes talk with the other person's eyes in the depths of your souls, that's the hottest thing ever.
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evil_twin said on May 11, 2007....
lynblair--Still thinking of me? ;-)
fairytaleromance--Since you're 5'7", being with a guy of my size might be tricky. As long as you never wore heels (or I bought some of those freaky platform boots like Gene Simmons used to wear) I'd still be taller. As for cockiness, I'm not really like that. Sometimes I brag and pretend I think I'm amazing, but that's mostly for comical reasons. I'm a smart ass. I'm not one of those guys who walks around thinking he's God's gift. But my eyes are nice. I don't know if they talk though because I haven't heard them do that yet. (see, I'm a smart ass.)
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lynblair said on May 11, 2007....
Always mister!! :D -
ninjapirate said on May 11, 2007....
Ya personality for me goes a long way. Confidence definetly helps and being a man is totally hot too. I guess by that I mean liking your sports, not wearing pink, having an adventurous side, ooh yes and the way you carry yourself in a cool way, love that, also the smell of a guy oh man, I'm a sucker for Irish Spring. I'm 5'5" and wear heels sometimes which makes me almost as tall as this one guy I like who is 5'8" or 5'9", but for some reason I feel more like an equal to him and it definetly isn't a deal breaker, plus if he's not a skinny guy definetly shows he could beat someone up for me, ok so hypothetically, very nice though. For hairyness I'll admit I like guys who aren't overly hairy, however my sister in law and her mother go the other way, go figure. One thing I have found very attractive is someone who challenges you, someone who isn't afraid to debate, so I suppose that shows smarts too, and also someone who kind of pushes your buttons, and teases you, but not in a mean kind of way. Humor is definetly good too, especially when a guy can catch on to something obscure that I'm trying to say, doesn't happen often though. As for size I suppose to small and to big is a not so good thing, but one could have just the right size and not know how to use it, thats no good either. Not sure how much you should take to this though, I'm kind of a weird girl hehe. -
mom said on May 12, 2007....
Ninja- HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how are you? -
ninjapirate said on May 12, 2007....
Hiya! I'm ok tonight at least, happy about that. Thinking about guys to much obviously hehe. How are you doing? -
evil_twin said on May 12, 2007....
ninjapirate--Love that name, by the way. Well, I do like sports, and I don't wear pink. It amazes me when I walk into a shop and see all these pink t-shirts and polo shirts in the mens department. I have to look around and make sure I'm in the right place. I don't know of any man who would wear a pink t-shirt that said, "real men wear pink". I actually saw that shirt at Target or something. As for humor and teasing, that's me. I like to poke fun at stuff (including myself) but I never mean it in a bad way. I'm just kidding around. So it's a plus if the woman I'm with understands this about me. I mean, if she trips over her feet in public, I'll make sure she's alright. And if she is, I'll tease her about it later. Just as I would expect she would do to me if it were reversed. I like to laugh. -
fairytaleromance said on May 13, 2007....
You sound like a really sweet guy. Where are the faults? lol -
jasonrest said on May 13, 2007....
jasonrests sulks in the corner hoping evil twin will adhere to his words of wisdom. They cannot offer the truth. The estrogen hinders their logic. -
evil_twin said on May 13, 2007....
fairytaleromance--Thank you :) I'm sure there are faults somewhere. I'd list them, but why tamper your image of me?
jasonrest--Dude, your words of wisdom were heeded. Confidence is key. But it's never a bad thing to find out what women want. Knowledge is power. -
ninjapirate said on May 13, 2007....
Well thanks ya. I'm very glad to hear theres a guy out there that doesn't like pink, I see that color a little to often on guys. Sadly I think I've seen that shirt too. That kind of teasing sounds just about right. Seems like you've got it together pretty good, I guess the trick is how to meet simliar people and show that off, I'm still trying to figure that one out. -
fairytaleromance said on May 14, 2007....
Why? Because being too damned short for high heels isn't enough of a fault to prevent me from beginning to get a crush on my image of you, lol! -
evil_twin said on May 14, 2007....
ninjapirate--You really see a lot of actual guys wearing pink?? I mean, I see the crap in the stores but I've never seen a real person wearing it.
fairytaleromance--Aww...you've got a crush on me? Well, then I'm definitely not telling you my faults now... ;-) Why ruin it?
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fairytaleromance said on May 14, 2007....
Not exactly on you... and I'd rather get a crush on a real guy rather than on a mental image of one. -
evil_twin said on May 15, 2007....
fairytaleromance-- Hey, I am real guy! ;-) (I know what you mean though) -
ninjapirate said on May 15, 2007....
I think I've seen the most at school sadly, I should really switch schools hehe. -
southerngirl said on May 20, 2007....
Looking and hopeing for one that I will find , whereas i want have to be expected to preform miracles, for i am not jesus christ, i can't raise the dead. -
fairytaleromance said on May 20, 2007....
I haven't seen enough faults to know you're a real guy. :P
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evil_twin said on May 20, 2007....
fairytale, you need to talk to my ex. She'll fill you in on some of my faults, I'm sure. On second thought, maybe that's not such a good idea. I've got a reputation to protect here! :-P -
brokenandused said on May 22, 2007....
ya wanna know what women really want in a man? a protector, a listener, humorous man wrapped in a beautiful body.....wait, sorry, i was describing my dream man... lol no seriously, there is only one major thing i look for in a man, and that is humor i'm 98%joking 2% serious so he needs to be funny!!
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doccoolmac said on Aug 09, 2007....
the first thing women looks in a guy you ask? well to tell you straight and bluntly YOUR HEIGHT! to learn more you can visit my blog and i will keep updating for some good tips on seducing the opposite sex http://reallovedoc.blogspot.com here's a tip: they look at your height to weigh down if you are compatible with theirs, women like men always think about sex too, the only difference for the sexes lies in the sizes, most men want their partners a bit smaller than there size [although no shit we do like tall gals] and most women like their man LARGE by no other means. -
evil_twin said on Aug 09, 2007....
Doccool--So what can a guy do if he's not that tall? Some of us weren't blessed with being large, and as far as I know, we're stuck with that fate! But I've already got a woman now anyway. But I'm just curious what your solution would be to that problem. -
doccoolmac said on Aug 09, 2007....
Hello evil_twin to answer that question, then you would have to arm yourself with the next big thing that attracts women, something that can be upgraded or can be nurtured into a great arsenal. That would be the way you handle your self - YOUR GESTURES, ACTIONS and MANNERISMS. we are talking about first impressions here only and not long term relationships yet. so to have a good first impression is to have a decent height, and if you fall "short" on those ^_^ you can compensate by being an ALPHA MALE still, with your ACTIONS and the way you move. always remember we are always selling ourselves out there in the crowd, so to stand out we have to do some great marketing strategies. for more you can go to my blog and you can post comments there, yes i know it's just strating but in a months time we will load it up with great content i promise you. http://reallovedoc.blogspot.com anyways it's great to know that you got a partner now, be happy always! -
karta.devera said on Nov 25, 2007....
OK it's not a recent post, but I'll put in my two cents anyway...
I don't like skinny men. Overweight is so obviously not healthy and doesn't make anyone think of great sex, but skinny does nothing for me either.(I am not bisexual, but even very skinny women are very off putting for the likes of me)...I must admit that 'a perfect body' is a little boring too.(Or maybe it's just that many people that put all their energy into maintaining a perfect bod, forget to relax and be themselves and that is the putting off part for me)--Some meat on my man's bones and some imperfections are very sexy. It reminds me that he is human and that it's OK for me not to be perfect too, and I do not mean just physically.
Hair, hmmmm.I have nothing against chest hair, especially if not completely over the top hairy, but I like when a guy shaves his privates, makes it nicer for me to pleasure him.My bf actually used hair removal cream the other day, he said he will feel better if he looks nicer for me, but I never got to see it, we actually broke up before I got to see it.(I didn't make him use it or shave himself, in fact I offered to shave him myself, wanting to show that I would not be less attracted to him if he presented himself to me in his natural, bushy state.:))Iit was just a new relationship, so I guess he was still kind of shy to show himself not all cleaned up to me.
Size, hmmm.I want to be honest here, a big penis is nice to look at. Having said that, if there's no right kind of chemistry between me and the man, I don't care how well endowed he is, the sex will not be all that.I think great sex has more to do with people sharing common fantasies and desires and being able to openly express them without fear of being judged by the other person, experimenting together, and from two people accepting each other, and yes love.
Of course you might not know it's love, in the beginning, you might think it's lust, but as the relationship progresses you realize that it was love at first site.
What I am looking in a man, (sexually), is to be a little kinky, in a good way, and I need to trust him coz you don't want to get kinky with someone that will not be very careful and could end up hurting you or himself. I do not even eman physically hurting.I think durings ex we are so very vonorable, spiritually, if that is not the case, get dressed and never sleep with that person again, coz it's not worth is.
There shouldn't be anything casual about sex, it is a spiritual meditation that binds the Divene aspects in us with the basic instinct ones, now does it get better than that, (better than properly handled sex, that is) hmmm, chocolate flavored soy ice cream perhaps, or not really!
:)) -
karta.devera said on Nov 25, 2007....
Been reading other comments.
I am 5' 7" I have dated men shorter than me, like an inch or half an inch, never bothered me at all.How do you guys feel about age difference. How youger/older of a partner would you accept??
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evil_twin said on Nov 25, 2007....
karta--I think that all of your requirements are pretty fair. This was actually one of my very first posts! I don't know about anyone else, but I like women to be within 3-4 years of my age, older or younger. Any more in either direction, and it just might not work for me. But I think the older I get, the less that would matter to me. But right now, that's always been my thinking. -
karta.devera said on Nov 26, 2007....
@evil--Yah that sounds pretty reasonable too.I have dated men much older than myself, it w as OK, but from this perspective your suggestion sounds better. -
in_bocca_al_lupo3 said on Jan 10, 2008....
Looks only make up half of it, for me, personally. Even with casual sex, or someone I'd consider for it, personality is deffinately up there. I'm not going to have sex with some cocky asshole just because he's got the best looks and nicest body I've ever seen. No way. Less attractive but better personality is my thing. But I can't speak for every woman. There's women out there who love bigger guys, there's women who love very feminine men, and I happen to dislike both. It all depends on the individual woman.
Don't be too cocky, but have self confidence. Showing that you're comfortable with yourself, and who you are and how you look, is important. In my opinion, of course.
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