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So my 50 year old college friend finally told me, I'm getting married for the first time to someone I really love, a 25 year old lady. Nothing to be shocked about, but I just asked him with an age difference like that, do you honestly think your marriage will last?

You both have different sets of priorities and are at different stages in your life. As you head on into your mid life crisis and she's just beginning to explore the brave new world, you're both going into opposite directions. While you're trying to make sense of your mid-life purpose, she's having the grand time of her life enjoying her financial independence and freedom.

He countered by saying, "Well we love each other so much that we're both willing to go for it and give it our best shot. For whatever it's worth, it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

How does the wide-age difference between partners affect the outcome of their difficult relationship? I'd really like to hear out from those with a similar situation.


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Comments

  • silverwhisper said on Jul 16, 2006....
    i gotta be honest, while i think that it's possible for the relationship to work, it would be only in the vast minority of cases. a 25 year-old is going to have to be awfully mature for her age. if they have kids, the odds are less than stellar that he will dance at their weddings. i don't know any may-december relationships that extreme, either online or in real life. jeez, imagine if your friend dated his mother-in-law to be? ed
  • hunter_boyce_chandler said on Jul 16, 2006....
    I saw more power to them. I hope it works. There is 8 years between me and the Blushing Bride. I remember her parents being really pissed and looking at me as a child molester. For gods sake she was a 20 yr old adult at the time.
  • FaithfulDisciple said on Jul 16, 2006....
    Thank you for your thoughts Hunter. In such an arrangement, there will have to be one party that will probably have to do all the adjusting. With a age gap difference that wide, they must have one common passion that they share; either sex or a hobby. Mostly I see this kind of marriage work out between couples of different races where there is more level of tolerance and understanding between them.
  • Zayda said on Jul 17, 2006....
    While I don't think it is a wide age gap, I am 5 years older than my husband. My thoughts..a bit scattered right now: You are assuming that they are heading in different directions. What if his mid-life crisis (assuming that he is inded having one) actually makes him more compatible with the 24 year old exploring new horizons and a brave new world? Perhaps a mid-life crisis points him more in her direction of exploration. Perhaps they are more alike than you think. Yes, a 25 year old would seem to need to be awfully mature to be in a relationship with somone twice her age. But really, age is only a number. You would need to know more about her, her personality, her experiences in life, etc., it seems before you decide if she is really that much different than he is. Perhaps she does not fit the stereotype of what we think of as the free-wheeling typical 25-year old woman. Perhaps her life experiences make her completely different than that stereotype. (I know mine did at age 25.) You say that she, at 25 is enjoying financial indepence/freedom, but, well, how do you know that? She could have serious fiancial obligations, such as school loans, etc. I guess what it boils down to is that knowing the person would help you better assess the situation than simply knowing her age. (And maybe you do know the person, but I can't tell that from just this post of yours.)
  • FaithfulDisciple said on Jul 17, 2006....
    She works as an executive secretary to one of the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. He's a self-made businessman who has accumulated some realty assets of his own. She will continue working after marriage, but when the baby comes, she may consider quitting her job to become a full-time mom. They are fully aware of their age differences but are very strongly committed to make this marriage work since it's a first time event for them both as they value Christian marriage as a lifelong and sacred commitment. He however feels that marriage is the best thing that can happen to him as of the moment since he feels he has reached a dead end "mid-life crisis" and would like to change the course of his life by giving love a second chance for him.
  • RobsStuff said on Jul 21, 2006....
    When my partner and I decided to marry there where a few raised eye brows. Mainly because there is an 18yr age gap. It was more of a problem for him because he is older and was worried that I would lose interest in him. I don't even see the age gap. To me he is a soul mate. We laugh, cry make love, raise our children and share our lives. What difference does the number on his birth certificate make?
  • Alyss said on Jul 27, 2006....
    One of my siblings had a long term relationship with someone considerably younger than them. The relationship eventually failed because their priorities were different but also their views on the world were coloured by the decade they grew up in and they conflicted over them surprisingly frequently.
  • jar617 said on Jul 28, 2006....
    "They are fully aware of their age differences but are very strongly committed to make this marriage work since it's a first time event for them both as they value Christian marriage as a lifelong and sacred commitment" That right there should tell you whether or not their marriage will work. It was said, in a post on another site you submit to, that one should pray before doing anything.. If it is right, God will show you what to do. If they are truely the christians you say they are, then I assume they have prayed aobut this union. If that is the case and the Lord has laid it on their hearts to enjoy each other and work together to further their goals and obligations, then it will work. As with anything you do, if it is God's plan, the devil usually will try to hinder it. Don't be a tool of the devil. Let God do what he does best and allow the miracles to happen. Just my opinion. julie
  • FaithfulDisciple said on Jul 29, 2006....
    Thanks everyone for your kind advice, I may be a little skeptic myself if this union will last, but hey who am I to say that it will never work. I showed my friend this post and he was glad to hear your encouraging comments.
  • JadeLondon said on Aug 10, 2006....
    Well, I am little late replying to this post--but better late than never, right. My husband has ten years on me. I don't really start thinking about our age difference, until that is, I bring up something from my childhood, like early Nintendo games & he isn't familiar with them. His answer to that is b/c he was partying it up at college & getting toasted. Plus, it's just weird knowing your husband was losing his virginity when you were in first grade. That is a real reminder!
  • silverwhisper said on Aug 10, 2006....
    now [i]that[/i] is disturbing. ed
  • FaithfulDisciple said on Aug 10, 2006....
    Updates on my newly married friends. They're having sexual adjustment problems. She complains of him dozing off after one round when she wants more of it. What do you think of that?
  • silverwhisper said on Aug 10, 2006....
    i think they should adjust so that he doesn't orgasm until she's been, er, satisfied. more. ed
  • Root said on Aug 13, 2006....
    Also late on this, but "marriage" is my new favorite tag theme. Good luck to them. No doubt she'll find tiredness and energy levels lacking in other ways as well. I dated a man 20 years my senior for about five years. Lots of things were really great about the difference. But he never wanted to stay out late or go dancing at night clubs or any of the things that a lot of couples my age were doing. And after a while, I also came to understand why women his own age were probably wise enough to avoid dealing with people like him. Not saying that about your friend, who probably thinks himself a lucky devil haven gotten such a fine young thing. But I do hope he had a prenuptial agreement.
  • anonymous said on Jan 13, 2007....
    My wife and I have been married for 10 years now. We are 25 years apart. We married when she was 21 and I 44. She thought I was in my 30's when we met, which helped. There are challenges with health issues, etc. but over-all it has been the best 10 years of my life. If it had lasted only a year it would have been worth it. I wish that I could be her age and she wishes I would quite aging and wait for her. That will not happen. We are hoping to be pregnant in 2007 and I cannot wait. Love is a strange thing.
  • kerbrownin44 said on Jan 22, 2007....
    hi, im 21 and my boyfriend is 47.we're truly in love wit each other we're also planning on getting married in the summer.do you think im making the rite choice?
  • FaithfulDisciple said on Jan 25, 2007....
    Kerbrowin44, The only good reason why people do get married is love and this should be the foundation of your decision in making a lifetime commitment to stay together.  I'd say go for it, who can say that you're making a wrong or right decision.

    There's a saying that the only way to find out if the water's fine in the pool is to plunge into it.  Go for it, the happiness you may find is well worth the sacrifices that may be required of the relationship.  Happiness and love is sometimes elusive for some, but if you find it with somebody you really love, you will have no regrets for having found it even if it does come from the most unexpected of situations.  God bless your decision!
  • kerbrownin44 said on Jan 28, 2007....
    Faithfuldisciple,i really appreciate getting your feedback about my situation.it surely made me feel better.im kind of surprise that your not saying other wise base on the story u said about your 50 yr old friend who married the 25 yr old young lady.is he still married to her,if yes i wish them all the best.again thank u.
  • FaithfulDisciple said on Jan 29, 2007....
    kerbrownin44:  No relationship is perfect but love is the reason they got married and they're still going strong.  Fact is she's due for their first baby this June.

    Don't be so concerned about what others say about your relationship, listen to your heart.  If love is the reason for making a commitment, love will see you both through it all.  Don't forget to make God the central point of your relationship,  for He will surely bless and prosper it beyond all your expectations.
  • soulproject said on May 28, 2007....
    I'm a devoted Christian woman who happens to be involved with a man 17 yrs my JUNIOR. He feels the same way about me. Why should men be the only ones to enjoy a relationship with a partner who still has the beauty of youth?? I am far more compatible with men younger than me. Men my age, are mostly possessive & patronizing & they usually just let themselves go. I work out on a regular basis & am still very attractive. I look for more in a relationship than just sitting in front of the tube night after night. There's clearly a double-standard at work here. I'm sure there's nothing in the Bible against an older woman/younger man marrying.
  • FLSunshine said on Jun 03, 2007....
    I am 43m and she is 26f. I have been around the block a few times. "Fell in love" on more then a few occasions, been married, and so has she. But, I have never experienced the deep deep love that I feel for this woman. We met and it was like a bolt of lightning. She feels the same, sort of like whatever we have done, in our lives, something was missing, and what was missing was each other. The epitome of soul mates. The 17 year gap is more then usual, and I know family might/will resist. But it is really not an age issue to us and we cant deny our feelings. Is this crazy talk?
  • anonymous said on Jun 21, 2007....
    I and my husband has 18 years age difference, i am 27 he is 45. We love each other and that's all that matters, his family warned him that maybe i am too young for him but now they can see that it was love that brings us to the altar. I cant imagine myself being married, sleeping with or making love with anybody else aside from him. Him and only him so why should age matter. He was so proud the day we get married in the church, thanks God we are still together after knowing each other in 5 years. There are some problems which is coming along the way of marriage, but we end up the next day more and more in love to each other. Talking of being together til the end. I hope God permits so. I preferably want matured man, someone who is finished with the womanising stuff, but i dont generalise that. Faithfulness is always there as long as you love each other. I think age doesnt matter-- all we need is love.
  • Altered said on Jun 27, 2007....
    There is a 25-year gap between my husband and me, and things are terrible. The absolute bliss we felt during the three years we knew each other and the six months we were engaged is gone, only to poke its head into our lives once every blue moon. He wants to continue with the marriage, and says things will work out. We'll be able to reclaim our happiness. I'm not so sure. I'm afraid I made a mistake when I married him, and that I should push for a divorce while we are still without children and without a lot of material possessions that will make for a messier split in the future. What do you think? If we stick it out, there's no guarantee that things will get better. But, I don't want to end things right before they improve, either.
  • anonymous said on Aug 10, 2007....
    There are some people that remain young at heart throughout their entire lives...my boyfriend is one of those people. He was 50 and I was 25 when we fell in love. He was my climbing instructor. We share the same types of hobbies and love for the outdoors....so it makes perfect sense that our path intertwined....and love had a chance to grow. When we were friends, he often make comment that I was an "old soul"...we share many similar views and beliefs....we also love the same type of music.
    I feel safe and comforted by knowing that he has over two decades of experience over me. I respect him as my life companion and often time I seek him for advises. I think that my love for him grew out of admiration...I completely adore him and he completely adore me...and for that reason among others, we are a good fit, regardless of our age.
  • anonymous said on Aug 12, 2007....
    I have to agree with Altered. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, together for 7. The fire that we had when we first married is gone, the friendship is still there. I am 31, he is 55. We have a 24 year age difference. It didn't seem to matter at first, but now I feel like I am left out of a lot with my friends in my age group. He gets more and more jealous of me and my life, and tries to control. For anyone out there who is considering marrying an older man, think about your future. Its ok right now but what happens in 20 years? He will be 75 and I will be 51. He will be tired, I will want to travel. The sex life will be gone also. Its gone now.
  • anonymous said on Sep 21, 2007....
    It seems many people have a lot of considerations on the age difference, there are many sites serve for the age gap love, such as Agelesslove.com, Agematch.com and etc. However, in most relationships, it is not age that matters but rather spiritual, emotional and mental compatibility between two people. A young person can be more, mature in attitude than an older person for that matter. It is important to share interests and values and to be on the same wavelength as each other. When two people really connect and love each other in a genuine way, age does not matter.
  • preacherman said on Oct 28, 2007....
    He should do fine if it is just an age difference.   I am married to a woman 14 yrs. younger than me, and we have been married for 10 yrs.  My brother-n-law is 25 yrs. older than his wife, and they have been married 17 yrs. now.  It comes down to how old you "really" are in your heart.  If he is young at heart, that is a good thing.  Age doesn't always mean they are going in separate directions.  Are they both Christians?  If they are not, or if just one is.....and I were talking to them, I don't care if they are the same age, I have never ever, not even once seen a relationship between a Christian and a non-Christian work.  The entire way of thinking is as vast as the grand canyon.
     
    My wife is 56, and I am 70.  She has more serious health issues than I do, so you never know how life is going to turn out......I will probably outlive her.  (It's her heart, and it is serious!)  She has never, not even one day in 10 years ever regretted marrying me, nor I her.........
     
    However, it never would have worked with us, if we didn't both love the Lord with all our hearts, and put him first.  "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God (Heaven), and his righteousness, and all of these things will be added unto you......"
     
    Sorry folks, I didn't mean to start "Preaching" here, so I'll just get off of here and let someone else give their opinion.  What attracted me to your site was your "username'.  So good day to ya, and God Bless...........
  • Love_lasts1621 said on Nov 28, 2007....
    I honestly think that a wide age gap in marriage depends on the couple to see if it would work or not. I have kinda the same situation. I am with a man is 24 years older than me and we are planning to get married and we have been together for about a year in a half. I have learned a lot about him and he has learned a lot from me. We are really excited to see what happens because we have strong hope and faith that this can work. We have been through a lot together and we love each other strongly. He has shown me a lot of new things about myself that I did not know and I bring out the inner child in him so he can quit being serious for a while and have some fun. We honestly think our marriage can work. If ours can work anything is possible!
  • anonymous said on Feb 27, 2008....
    I am madly in love with a man who is 18 years older than I... we have know each other for 6 years and were friends for over a year before we became involved. We were very close while I was in college and he graciously stepped back to allow me to enjoy life for 2 years...We kept in contact through email and the occasional phone call but the realization of our separtation became apparent when my father became ill in November and my shoulder to cry on was his. Now I don't want one more day to go by without being with him. Unfortunately there distance between us. I've read all of the posts above and find our situation to be so far from some of these... we both have the same desires, interests and dreams... he is a sucessful business man and I too have a successful career as a designer. I've always heard about soulmates...but didn't know if they were possible until I met him. We couldn't be happier when we're together or sadder when we're apart. He makes my world better everyday. He told me once "I can treat you better than anyone in the world"...I have dated several other men and in them I look for him...its not there. He does treat me better than anyone in the world. He has so much love to give...I am truly deeply in love in his blue eyes...we've talked about our future... should I marry him and forget about what others think about our age difference?
  • anonymous said on May 10, 2008....
    I've been in a commited relationship with a man 31 yrs. older than I (I'm 23, he's 54). I initially moved in with him so that I could get a proper education at a University, which I couldn't afford alone. Now that I've fallen in love with him (and still have two more years of grad school and lots of student loans to pay off), I contemplate whether I can marry him. It would make my life much easier financially. He already considers us married and will kick me out if he thinks I don't actually want to marry him. I do love him, and I know that he will treat me like gold, but I'm not stupid enough to believe that I will be willing or able to deal with him when he's 70. I don't even like taking care of his old dog. I don't want kids, I don't want to care for someone who will be so much older than me and miss out on my life. I really feel that someone else is out there for me, but I can't financially get out, and the longer I stay in this relationship, the more guilty I feel about taking advantage of him because his expectations for us to stay together deepen. I made a horrible mistake getting into this relationship, and I don't know if in the end my University degree was truly worth it.
  • anonymous said on Jul 23, 2008....
    my fiance and i are 12 years apart and completly in love my dad still doesnt know and i dont plan on telling him until i'm at least 22 and right now i'm only 18 i was just wondering if you all thought i was crazy for keeping such a huge secret and basically lying to him for such a long time if i keep it going the way i do now i think i can do it i just want to be older so i can more easily get my dads approval..i'm extremely annoyed though because all i want to do is tell my family and i can't what should i do??
  • anonymous said on Aug 20, 2008....
    I am 30 and my husband is 53. We met through work and over a year we discovered that we are soulmates. We have both found a new lease of life after bad relationships and are enjoying every minute together. Our families and friends can't stop telling us how much they envy our happiness and even his grown children don't notice the age difference. We had to wait until we were in the right places in our lives for a real, intelligent, loving, sexy relationship to develop. We have a new business and are planning a new family. That said - I wake up absolutely terrified that, because of his smoking, I will lose him far too soon. I know that, no matter how healthy and fit, any one of us could die soon, but I wish he would listen and at least try to stop. Does anyone have any ideas of how to get it through to him that he should do his best to stay around as long as possible? Otherwise he has with few vices and I make sure our diet is healthy. Any advice?
  • rongayle said on Aug 24, 2008....
    I hate to say this but I've known few smokers who stopped because someone they loved wanted it. I know it as a therapist, as a husband and as an ex-smoker. I am certainly aware of how scared you must be because I watched my wife's fear for many years as I continued to smoke. I also listened as she complained and cajoled and "reasoned" with me. It's not that I didn't know I should quit, because I did. I was convinced then and am still convinced that you have to want it personally to be able to quit. My wife has even written about her struggle with it in our blog on age difference relationships. We also have a significant age difference and she had the same concerns as you. I was finally able to stop and hope it was soon enough. As for the two of you, you may lose him too soon because of his smoking. He may lose you too soon for some other reason. In the meantime, cherish every day. That's what it's really all about, isn't it. Ron http://maydecembersecrets.com/?p=19
  • anonymous said on Oct 03, 2008....
    There is a 31 year gap between me and my husband. we have been together for 5 years and married for 1. I am so in love wih him that it hurts! I know he feels the same way and I feel blessed. we have a brilliant time together and get on so well. We have had problems with other people hating it, women patronizing me, him loosing friends. I even got called "Grandad fu**er" all through college. We didn't let it get to us. I would say the only problem that has arisen is the issue of kids. He has already been married and had 1 before, and been hurt with it all. Being 23 I have not had this experience. I try to tell him it will be different this time around. He had a vasectomy and wont reverse it, I am starting to feel broody and I want our love to build a small family. I now know there isn't much hope and am feeling very sad about it. I have no idea what to do about it I am terrified about resenting him and our marriage turning sour over it. If there was a way of not feeling these basic things i would do it! For now I am just stuck with this sinking feeling. any one got any advice?
  • rongayle said on Oct 03, 2008....
    This is definitely a scarey time in your marriage.  Based on your age and desire to have children I would suggest you find a counselor to help the two of you work through this issue.  As you grow older this could easily become a marriage-breaker and that would be a shame.
  • shrodingerscat said on Nov 30, 2008....
    I've been dating a wonderful man who is 26 years older than me for over a year now and our relationship is absolutely wonderful. I am 26 and he is 52. He has two older children from a previous marriage (ages 19 and 24) and I have a young child. I have never met anyone more courteous, thoughtful, passionate, and supportive in all my life. He makes me laugh with his silly sense of humor and I bring excitement, passion, emotional support, and optimism to his life. The age difference does present a problem at times, but NEVER in regards to our priorities, values, or lifestyles. We also share a similar educational background. Issues do arise, however, when it comes to our insecurities. He often worries that I will fall in love with someone closer to my age. He also is concerned about the future and how things will change as he ages. I must admit, I am also concerned about this. I know that our time together is extremely limited and it saddens me. Looking back at photographs of him when he was young, I am reminded of how much time has passed in his life. My insecurities are centered on my youth. I have not really established myself yet and his previous marriage was to an incredibly successful woman who was seven years his senior. I am just starting out in life and discovering who I am. I am less assertive and more insecure about myself than I would like to be. I believe that self-knowledge, stability, and confidence are attributes that strengthen with time. I often wonder what in the world he would want with someone who has so little to contribute financially. Being involved with me would mean living like he was thirty again. It would mean raising a child and being my partner as my journey of self-discovery unfolds. Why in the world would any 52 year old man want to repeat that all over again?
  • rongayle said on Nov 30, 2008....
    Perhaps it's just because he loves you. When I was 38 and my wife was 23 the ages didn't seem to matter. We were having fun and never really intended to fall in love. Now that I'm 66 and she's 51 we've been married 22 years and never intend to fall out of love. All of the rest of our age gapped life has been worked out as necessary. And you don't know how limited your life together might be. Divorce, death, separations, and etc. happen at all ages and for all kinds of reasons. Age is only one of those. Let the relationship develop further and see how it goes.
  • cliffyboy said on Feb 28, 2009....
    hey My wife just turned 27 & I'm 54 and we have never been more in love. Admittadely she had to pull me into line but I love her for it . I admit I get worried when I see younger guys try to Flirt with her But when they find out she is married that normally stops. & for the Guy well "there is nothing wrong with a Gorgeous young wife to come home to each day" besides in a few months we will have a baby, perfect even my adult children are excited about that. Cliffy
  • Jewel said on Mar 19, 2009....
    This has definitely been an interesting read. I've reached all the way down the bottom, and waited patiently until I saw it was my turn to comment. My One is 40, and I am 19. I am blissfully, completely and utterly happy. He has 3 beautiful, lovely children from a previous marriage and I absolutely love them. They are precious to me. Our love for one another is simply exquisite. Beautiful. Rare. Deep. Sentimental. So many things that others thought it couldn't be. We have received the raised eye brows, the stares and looks of disapproval, and the hard, cold comments from others who simply follow the "norms" of society and refuse to see it any other way. But, it is just simply their loss. If they don't accept us, we do not stay up late at night pondering the why's or reasons thereof. He loves me in a way that is complete. True. Ever-lasting. Unconditionally.Endearing. Forever. Para Siempre. And I him. He is everything I want in a man, in a relationship--without the childish clubs, boys, drama. My mind set is that of someone who is much older. ;) I am mature. I do not have the desire to go out clubbing 3, 4, 5 times a night, I would rather stay in with my One and have fun with his children playing video games, stay in and cook dinner or tidy up the place so it is clean for them. for myself. etc. Or go out to dinner just him and I. I don't have the random, childish antics of going out and getting drunk. etc. (turning 21 will not change that, either.) My mind set is just not set that way. Call me indifferent or not normal. I won't find it offensive. Everyone has their opinions,I choose whether or not I give a damn, and most of the time, I don't. He finds that other men who find me attractive and approach me, a huge compliment. He revels in the fact that I get approached. And yet, is so lovingly protective. Not that I wouldn't stick my 5 inch heel where the sun doesn't shine, if they tried anything, but knowing that I have him there, just puts me at ease. He supports me in all that I do. My hopes, dreams and aspirations. And I help re-awaken his. We compliment each other perfectly. I find our relationship to be quite admirable. It is beautiful in every sense of the word. We are looking forward to the many years yet to come. And yes, even the little pitter patter of feet running down the hallway will soon come into the picture. Once I am settled into my own career and have the wheel more steadily in my hands. He or she, will be such a blessing and precious human being created from our love for one another. Ahh, such a lovely thought. Age gap relationships can work. Just don't let all of the in between s*** get to your heart and destroy the feelings you have for your significant other. If you love him and vice versa, then why should it matter what other people think? Life was not intended for you to stand there and take notes on every disapproval some people are going to have of you. It was not meant for you to ponder the opinions of others you most likely don't give a damn about. This sometimes infuriates me, because I have had complete strangers approach me about being with my One, and I simply mention to them, "And I care why? Who are you? What emphasis do you have on my life to the point where I would even CONSIDER caring?--absolutely none. good-bye." And I have simply walked away. I love my One. He is my man. And I am his young, beautiful woman. A few thorns in the bush is not going to change that. Ever.
  • anonymous said on Mar 21, 2009....
    How old is God anyway. Be as little children. Maybe perhaps, God is a kid at heart! If you love someone love them love knows no age is timeless so then love must know no particular "age". If you purely love someone love them if it was meant to be and if not let them free and they'll come back no matter what. Do not worry about tomorrow or yesterday. Love is now. If don't know or aren't sure the answer will present itself. Love doesn't make any sense that is the beauty of it. Sometimes we have to let go of someone if we love them too. Wisdom is like walking a tightrope. The heart a peg at one end of the spectrum. Mind at the other. When walking, the two "feet" become one in action. I see one sun in the sky. One earth. Like a "marriage" committed to love out of love. Old age reminds us of death youth seeming to be it's opposite. So strangely enough, it seems that combining the two is a contradiction to life but is it. Good fruit comes of many trees. Salt and sugar go good together. Yet there are those who believe themselves an authority above the nature of love. Lots of folks with rules that make a mess out of what is profoundly beautiful. Just be honest and true to yourself and your beloved. The "devil" is so proud that has the audacity to judge God of being guilty! God is love. Life. Live it.
  • NickiTelePro said on Mar 25, 2009....
    Hello everyone, I'm a producer who works for nationally syndicated television show. I have been doing research for a program that we are taping next week. The show is going to be discussing older/younger relationships. I would very much like to speak with a couple about their relationship, specifically focusing on the trials and tribulations a unique couple like this may be facing. Please contact Nicole at 1.800.547.6912 ex. 8480. Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you!
  • bazz1154 said on Apr 01, 2009....
    I have a relationship now in its eighth year.I am 55 and my girlfriend is 29. We both have children and have worked thru just about every situation that can arise and come out wanting each other even more.We both have retail business so life is full. Every time their has been some sort of crisis we have made time alone and figured stuff out lovewise, familywise, businesswise. The most difficult thing to deal with is what other people think about the age difference you cant help letting it effect you. Because of the age difference our relationship is very satisfying physically and emotionally. Is that what its all about?? I hope so........
  • rongayle said on Apr 02, 2009....
    Hey bazz1154. You hang in there. Believe me I know about the judgements of others but it sounds like the two of you have it figured out. Like any other relationship, it's all about doing the work necessary to be happy. Our age difference is 15 years and we've been together 26 and married 22. That is what it's all about.
  • rongayle said on Apr 02, 2009....
    Hey bazz1154. You hang in there. Believe me I know about the judgements of others but it sounds like the two of you have it figured out. Like any other relationship, it's all about doing the work necessary to be happy. Our age difference is 15 years and we've been together 26 and married 22. That is what it's all about.
  • ChazMaz said on Apr 02, 2009....
    How do you survive? You don't.... Unless you are both total home bodies with money to burn and no where to go. Being on the Older side of the couple. Wisdom is nice, but if you love your younger partner you have to let them grow also. Like you did. And, that ends up as two ships passing in the night. As much as you want to hold on to him/her you are the mature one. Hey, it might work.... But you are wasting your time. And, robbing them of a fruitful life. I am talking about a 10 year or older spread. It might be possible. Playing the lottery are you? Life is too short, and if/when it folds. You are looking at the light at the end of the tunnel and they are just getting started with life. For the older it is a one shot deal. For the younger they have plenty of time. Hey, love is beautiful. We all know that. But someone will get short changed. Your life is not for gambling. You are the most important person in the world. Don't sell yourself or your life short. Or you the older will find yourself alone in the later years.
  • anonymous said on Apr 20, 2009....
    i have been in an age gap relationship for six years . My partner is 50 and i am 32 which makes 18 years between us we also have a two year old son together . I find the most difficult thing about our relationship , is other poeples comments and interference so much so that it constantly makes me feel like im doing something wrong .I find that sometimes i avoid meeting new poeple with my partner for fear of being judged or new poeple assuming his my dad instead of my partner .I love my partner very much ,his not just my partner but my best friend as well,and the age difference is not a probem for us as we enjoy lots of the same interestes . he is also a very good father to our son and really enjoys spending time with him, i think being older when you have children allows you to take in the pleasure of it a little more .I wish i didnt care what other people think but some coments can be really hurtful , and i get fed up of being judged all the time.
  • anonymous said on Apr 24, 2009....
    To ChazMaz... How negative and depressing can you get? Do you have faith in anything? I hope you learn someday that there are some things in life that are amazing, profound, and beyond comprehension, and they are worth the risk. You are all about avoiding risk at all costs. People like that look at all the possible negative outcomes of a given situation and blast it out of the sky. I have news for you: there are just as many negative possible outcomes to same age marriages. Do you think they have a better chance? Get real. There are some things that transcend age differences. It's sad when people allow themselves to be blinded to the things in life that are supremely sublime - things that really matter, and they are blinded by the things that don't. Read the posts on this page that contain stories of phenomenal things God has done with age gap relationships and let them inspire you, if you can. He who has eyes, let him see.
  • ChazMaz said on Apr 24, 2009....
    Read the posts? I am FLSunshine further up the list. I totally understand what you are saying. But when you build on a relationship. Buy a home, bring their children to live with you. When you have such an un dying love for one another. And she (in this case) After 2 years. 180's on you literally over night. Which is to be expected with a young person and you can't blaime them. Always a new experience at every cross road, and still learning about life. You takes a greater risk being the wiser one. As two people at the same age or near it, explore "new" experience together. Or understand the "responsibility" of what it takes to have a relationship. That even playing field. More power to you if it works. That goes for any age... But Sorry if you do not like to hear it. You as the older in the relationship is going to take a greater risk with a much younger individual. You have been there done that. They are still experiencing it and life. You have (hopefully) learned some of the pitfalls of love. Younger peoples, especially in their 20's, perception on what love and life is, can change at the drop of the hat. I was not trying to be negative. But there is another side to it. Hey, if and when it happens again. Age will never be an issue, that crazy thing called love Love knows no boundary or age. But there are risks. Along with the common ones. The drastic age spread just adds another equation. God bless all of you that is in a good relationship. I mean that. They come no matter what the age is. But I still stick by what I said.
  • Genro said on May 04, 2009....
    Six years ago I was a 62 year-old widower and I met a 34 yr-old divorcee with no children. I consider myself worldly wise and with 4 adult children from my 1st marriage (of 37yrs) I considered all the options and asked the lady to marry me,she agreed and we married in May 2004 and our beautiful daughter was born in July 2004 and our son in 2008 so now I've had the best 6 yrs of my life with the most wonderful lady in the world. I will never look back and despite most people thinking my wife is my daughter and my children are my grandchildren I now laugh at it and move on. I believe that if the chemistry is right then the age factor is lessened to a big degree. I feel like I've been reborn and my new family motivates me everyday. Life is far too short to harbour serious regrets, you must not hide anything and be as upfront as possible to make your relationship succeed. From a very lucky man, Genro
  • bazz1154 said on Jun 14, 2009....
    Genro that is the most sincere comment i have heard to date thank you for motivation
  • anonymous said 11 days ago....
    I am currently living with my boyfriend who is 42. I am 22. We met in January and it's been an amazing year. I have gone through a lot in my life, more then most 40 year olds have to deal with... and i've always been mature for my age. I truly love my bf... it doesnt feel like there is any kind of void because of a 20 year age difference. The only time i have felt it is when we went to a concert because he wanted to sit and listen and i wanted to go dance... so thats what we did! I ran up and danced and he sat and listened :) It's a very comfortable, easy relationship, we talk about literally everything... and i mean if the worst problem in a relationship is i get mistaken for his daughter (once) then we really cant complain. I dont even think of him as 42, i think of him as my partner, my lover, my best friend in the entire world. It's easy to be with him and at the end of the day if you can find someone you are emotionally, sexually, spiritually and physically compatible with then (imo) you've hit the jackpot. I cannot imagine my life without him in it.

The people have spoken ... again.

...
And its really pissing me off....
my husband and i have been married now for almost 2 yrs. when we first got together our sex life and happiness was beyond fairytale standards. it was short lived though once i found out i was pregnant everything went down hill from there. we got married...
i hate my husband....
A missed weekend of fun....