• silverwhisper said on Jul 16, 2006....

  i gotta be honest, while i think that it's possible for the relationship to work, it would be only in the vast minority of cases. a 25 year-old is going to have to be awfully mature for her age. if they have kids, the odds are less than stellar that he will dance at their weddings. i don't know any may-december relationships that extreme, either online or in real life. jeez, imagine if your friend dated his mother-in-law to be? ed

• hunter_boyce_chandler said on Jul 16, 2006....

  I saw more power to them. I hope it works. There is 8 years between me and the Blushing Bride. I remember her parents being really pissed and looking at me as a child molester. For gods sake she was a 20 yr old adult at the time.

• FaithfulDisciple said on Jul 16, 2006....

  Thank you for your thoughts Hunter. In such an arrangement, there will have to be one party that will probably have to do all the adjusting. With a age gap difference that wide, they must have one common passion that they share; either sex or a hobby. Mostly I see this kind of marriage work out between couples of different races where there is more level of tolerance and understanding between them.

• Zayda said on Jul 17, 2006....

  While I don't think it is a wide age gap, I am 5 years older than my husband. My thoughts..a bit scattered right now: You are assuming that they are heading in different directions. What if his mid-life crisis (assuming that he is inded having one) actually makes him more compatible with the 24 year old exploring new horizons and a brave new world? Perhaps a mid-life crisis points him more in her direction of exploration. Perhaps they are more alike than you think. Yes, a 25 year old would seem to need to be awfully mature to be in a relationship with somone twice her age. But really, age is only a number. You would need to know more about her, her personality, her experiences in life, etc., it seems before you decide if she is really that much different than he is. Perhaps she does not fit the stereotype of what we think of as the free-wheeling typical 25-year old woman. Perhaps her life experiences make her completely different than that stereotype. (I know mine did at age 25.) You say that she, at 25 is enjoying financial indepence/freedom, but, well, how do you know that? She could have serious fiancial obligations, such as school loans, etc. I guess what it boils down to is that knowing the person would help you better assess the situation than simply knowing her age. (And maybe you do know the person, but I can't tell that from just this post of yours.)

• FaithfulDisciple said on Jul 17, 2006....

  She works as an executive secretary to one of the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. He's a self-made businessman who has accumulated some realty assets of his own. She will continue working after marriage, but when the baby comes, she may consider quitting her job to become a full-time mom. They are fully aware of their age differences but are very strongly committed to make this marriage work since it's a first time event for them both as they value Christian marriage as a lifelong and sacred commitment. He however feels that marriage is the best thing that can happen to him as of the moment since he feels he has reached a dead end "mid-life crisis" and would like to change the course of his life by giving love a second chance for him.

• RobsStuff said on Jul 21, 2006....

  When my partner and I decided to marry there where a few raised eye brows. Mainly because there is an 18yr age gap. It was more of a problem for him because he is older and was worried that I would lose interest in him. I don't even see the age gap. To me he is a soul mate. We laugh, cry make love, raise our children and share our lives. What difference does the number on his birth certificate make?

• Alyss said on Jul 27, 2006....

  One of my siblings had a long term relationship with someone considerably younger than them. The relationship eventually failed because their priorities were different but also their views on the world were coloured by the decade they grew up in and they conflicted over them surprisingly frequently.

• jar617 said on Jul 28, 2006....

  "They are fully aware of their age differences but are very strongly committed to make this marriage work since it's a first time event for them both as they value Christian marriage as a lifelong and sacred commitment" That right there should tell you whether or not their marriage will work. It was said, in a post on another site you submit to, that one should pray before doing anything.. If it is right, God will show you what to do. If they are truely the christians you say they are, then I assume they have prayed aobut this union. If that is the case and the Lord has laid it on their hearts to enjoy each other and work together to further their goals and obligations, then it will work. As with anything you do, if it is God's plan, the devil usually will try to hinder it. Don't be a tool of the devil. Let God do what he does best and allow the miracles to happen. Just my opinion. julie

• FaithfulDisciple said on Jul 29, 2006....

  Thanks everyone for your kind advice, I may be a little skeptic myself if this union will last, but hey who am I to say that it will never work. I showed my friend this post and he was glad to hear your encouraging comments.

• JadeLondon said on Aug 10, 2006....

  Well, I am little late replying to this post--but better late than never, right. My husband has ten years on me. I don't really start thinking about our age difference, until that is, I bring up something from my childhood, like early Nintendo games & he isn't familiar with them. His answer to that is b/c he was partying it up at college & getting toasted. Plus, it's just weird knowing your husband was losing his virginity when you were in first grade. That is a real reminder!

• silverwhisper said on Aug 10, 2006....

  now [i]that[/i] is disturbing. ed

• FaithfulDisciple said on Aug 10, 2006....

  Updates on my newly married friends. They're having sexual adjustment problems. She complains of him dozing off after one round when she wants more of it. What do you think of that?

• silverwhisper said on Aug 10, 2006....

  i think they should adjust so that he doesn't orgasm until she's been, er, satisfied. more. ed

• Root said on Aug 13, 2006....

  Also late on this, but "marriage" is my new favorite tag theme. Good luck to them. No doubt she'll find tiredness and energy levels lacking in other ways as well. I dated a man 20 years my senior for about five years. Lots of things were really great about the difference. But he never wanted to stay out late or go dancing at night clubs or any of the things that a lot of couples my age were doing. And after a while, I also came to understand why women his own age were probably wise enough to avoid dealing with people like him. Not saying that about your friend, who probably thinks himself a lucky devil haven gotten such a fine young thing. But I do hope he had a prenuptial agreement.

• anonymous said on Jan 13, 2007....

  My wife and I have been married for 10 years now. We are 25 years apart. We married when she was 21 and I 44. She thought I was in my 30's when we met, which helped. There are challenges with health issues, etc. but over-all it has been the best 10 years of my life. If it had lasted only a year it would have been worth it. I wish that I could be her age and she wishes I would quite aging and wait for her. That will not happen. We are hoping to be pregnant in 2007 and I cannot wait. Love is a strange thing.

• kerbrownin44 said on Jan 22, 2007....

  hi, im 21 and my boyfriend is 47.we're truly in love wit each other we're also planning on getting married in the summer.do you think im making the rite choice?

• FaithfulDisciple said on Jan 25, 2007....

  Kerbrowin44, The only good reason why people do get married is love and this should be the foundation of your decision in making a lifetime commitment to stay together.  I'd say go for it, who can say that you're making a wrong or right decision.
  
  There's a saying that the only way to find out if the water's fine in the pool is to plunge into it.  Go for it, the happiness you may find is well worth the sacrifices that may be required of the relationship.  Happiness and love is sometimes elusive for some, but if you find it with somebody you really love, you will have no regrets for having found it even if it does come from the most unexpected of situations.  God bless your decision!
  

• kerbrownin44 said on Jan 28, 2007....

  Faithfuldisciple,i really appreciate getting your feedback about my situation.it surely made me feel better.im kind of surprise that your not saying other wise base on the story u said about your 50 yr old friend who married the 25 yr old young lady.is he still married to her,if yes i wish them all the best.again thank u.

• FaithfulDisciple said on Jan 29, 2007....

  kerbrownin44:  No relationship is perfect but love is the reason they got married and they're still going strong.  Fact is she's due for their first baby this June.
  
  Don't be so concerned about what others say about your relationship, listen to your heart.  If love is the reason for making a commitment, love will see you both through it all.  Don't forget to make God the central point of your relationship,  for He will surely bless and prosper it beyond all your expectations.

• soulproject said on May 28, 2007....

  I'm a devoted Christian woman who happens to be involved with a man 17 yrs my JUNIOR. He feels the same way about me. Why should men be the only ones to enjoy a relationship with a partner who still has the beauty of youth?? I am far more compatible with men younger than me. Men my age, are mostly possessive & patronizing & they usually just let themselves go. I work out on a regular basis & am still very attractive. I look for more in a relationship than just sitting in front of the tube night after night. There's clearly a double-standard at work here. I'm sure there's nothing in the Bible against an older woman/younger man marrying.

• FLSunshine said on Jun 03, 2007....

  I am 43m and she is 26f. I have been around the block a few times. "Fell in love" on more then a few occasions, been married, and so has she. But, I have never experienced the deep deep love that I feel for this woman. We met and it was like a bolt of lightning. She feels the same, sort of like whatever we have done, in our lives, something was missing, and what was missing was each other. The epitome of soul mates. The 17 year gap is more then usual, and I know family might/will resist. But it is really not an age issue to us and we cant deny our feelings. Is this crazy talk?

• anonymous said on Jun 21, 2007....

  I and my husband has 18 years age difference, i am 27 he is 45. We love each other and that's all that matters, his family warned him that maybe i am too young for him but now they can see that it was love that brings us to the altar. I cant imagine myself being married, sleeping with or making love with anybody else aside from him. Him and only him so why should age matter. He was so proud the day we get married in the church, thanks God we are still together after knowing each other in 5 years. There are some problems which is coming along the way of marriage, but we end up the next day more and more in love to each other. Talking of being together til the end. I hope God permits so. I preferably want matured man, someone who is finished with the womanising stuff, but i dont generalise that. Faithfulness is always there as long as you love each other. I think age doesnt matter-- all we need is love.

• Altered said on Jun 27, 2007....

  There is a 25-year gap between my husband and me, and things are terrible. The absolute bliss we felt during the three years we knew each other and the six months we were engaged is gone, only to poke its head into our lives once every blue moon. He wants to continue with the marriage, and says things will work out. We'll be able to reclaim our happiness. I'm not so sure. I'm afraid I made a mistake when I married him, and that I should push for a divorce while we are still without children and without a lot of material possessions that will make for a messier split in the future. What do you think? If we stick it out, there's no guarantee that things will get better. But, I don't want to end things right before they improve, either.

• anonymous said on Aug 10, 2007....

  There are some people that remain young at heart throughout their entire lives...my boyfriend is one of those people. He was 50 and I was 25 when we fell in love. He was my climbing instructor. We share the same types of hobbies and love for the outdoors....so it makes perfect sense that our path intertwined....and love had a chance to grow. When we were friends, he often make comment that I was an "old soul"...we share many similar views and beliefs....we also love the same type of music.
  I feel safe and comforted by knowing that he has over two decades of experience over me. I respect him as my life companion and often time I seek him for advises. I think that my love for him grew out of admiration...I completely adore him and he completely adore me...and for that reason among others, we are a good fit, regardless of our age.

• anonymous said on Aug 12, 2007....

  I have to agree with Altered. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, together for 7. The fire that we had when we first married is gone, the friendship is still there. I am 31, he is 55. We have a 24 year age difference. It didn't seem to matter at first, but now I feel like I am left out of a lot with my friends in my age group. He gets more and more jealous of me and my life, and tries to control. For anyone out there who is considering marrying an older man, think about your future. Its ok right now but what happens in 20 years? He will be 75 and I will be 51. He will be tired, I will want to travel. The sex life will be gone also. Its gone now.

• anonymous said on Sep 21, 2007....

  It seems many people have a lot of considerations on the age difference, there are many sites serve for the age gap love, such as Agelesslove.com, Agematch.com and etc. However, in most relationships, it is not age that matters but rather spiritual, emotional and mental compatibility between two people. A young person can be more, mature in attitude than an older person for that matter. It is important to share interests and values and to be on the same wavelength as each other. When two people really connect and love each other in a genuine way, age does not matter.

• preacherman said on Oct 28, 2007....

  He should do fine if it is just an age difference.   I am married to a woman 14 yrs. younger than me, and we have been married for 10 yrs.  My brother-n-law is 25 yrs. older than his wife, and they have been married 17 yrs. now.  It comes down to how old you "really" are in your heart.  If he is young at heart, that is a good thing.  Age doesn't always mean they are going in separate directions.  Are they both Christians?  If they are not, or if just one is.....and I were talking to them, I don't care if they are the same age, I have never ever, not even once seen a relationship between a Christian and a non-Christian work.  The entire way of thinking is as vast as the grand canyon.
   
  My wife is 56, and I am 70.  She has more serious health issues than I do, so you never know how life is going to turn out......I will probably outlive her.  (It's her heart, and it is serious!)  She has never, not even one day in 10 years ever regretted marrying me, nor I her.........
   
  However, it never would have worked with us, if we didn't both love the Lord with all our hearts, and put him first.  "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God (Heaven), and his righteousness, and all of these things will be added unto you......"
   
  Sorry folks, I didn't mean to start "Preaching" here, so I'll just get off of here and let someone else give their opinion.  What attracted me to your site was your "username'.  So good day to ya, and God Bless...........

• Love_lasts1621 said on Nov 28, 2007....

  I honestly think that a wide age gap in marriage depends on the couple to see if it would work or not. I have kinda the same situation. I am with a man is 24 years older than me and we are planning to get married and we have been together for about a year in a half. I have learned a lot about him and he has learned a lot from me. We are really excited to see what happens because we have strong hope and faith that this can work. We have been through a lot together and we love each other strongly. He has shown me a lot of new things about myself that I did not know and I bring out the inner child in him so he can quit being serious for a while and have some fun. We honestly think our marriage can work. If ours can work anything is possible!

• anonymous said on Feb 27, 2008....

  I am madly in love with a man who is 18 years older than I... we have know each other for 6 years and were friends for over a year before we became involved. We were very close while I was in college and he graciously stepped back to allow me to enjoy life for 2 years...We kept in contact through email and the occasional phone call but the realization of our separtation became apparent when my father became ill in November and my shoulder to cry on was his. Now I don't want one more day to go by without being with him. Unfortunately there distance between us. I've read all of the posts above and find our situation to be so far from some of these... we both have the same desires, interests and dreams... he is a sucessful business man and I too have a successful career as a designer. I've always heard about soulmates...but didn't know if they were possible until I met him. We couldn't be happier when we're together or sadder when we're apart. He makes my world better everyday. He told me once "I can treat you better than anyone in the world"...I have dated several other men and in them I look for him...its not there. He does treat me better than anyone in the world. He has so much love to give...I am truly deeply in love in his blue eyes...we've talked about our future... should I marry him and forget about what others think about our age difference?

• anonymous said on May 10, 2008....

  I've been in a commited relationship with a man 31 yrs. older than I (I'm 23, he's 54). I initially moved in with him so that I could get a proper education at a University, which I couldn't afford alone. Now that I've fallen in love with him (and still have two more years of grad school and lots of student loans to pay off), I contemplate whether I can marry him. It would make my life much easier financially. He already considers us married and will kick me out if he thinks I don't actually want to marry him. I do love him, and I know that he will treat me like gold, but I'm not stupid enough to believe that I will be willing or able to deal with him when he's 70. I don't even like taking care of his old dog. I don't want kids, I don't want to care for someone who will be so much older than me and miss out on my life. I really feel that someone else is out there for me, but I can't financially get out, and the longer I stay in this relationship, the more guilty I feel about taking advantage of him because his expectations for us to stay together deepen. I made a horrible mistake getting into this relationship, and I don't know if in the end my University degree was truly worth it.

• anonymous said on Jul 23, 2008....

  my fiance and i are 12 years apart and completly in love my dad still doesnt know and i dont plan on telling him until i'm at least 22 and right now i'm only 18 i was just wondering if you all thought i was crazy for keeping such a huge secret and basically lying to him for such a long time if i keep it going the way i do now i think i can do it i just want to be older so i can more easily get my dads approval..i'm extremely annoyed though because all i want to do is tell my family and i can't what should i do??

• anonymous said on Aug 20, 2008....

  I am 30 and my husband is 53. We met through work and over a year we discovered that we are soulmates. We have both found a new lease of life after bad relationships and are enjoying every minute together. Our families and friends can't stop telling us how much they envy our happiness and even his grown children don't notice the age difference. We had to wait until we were in the right places in our lives for a real, intelligent, loving, sexy relationship to develop. We have a new business and are planning a new family. That said - I wake up absolutely terrified that, because of his smoking, I will lose him far too soon. I know that, no matter how healthy and fit, any one of us could die soon, but I wish he would listen and at least try to stop. Does anyone have any ideas of how to get it through to him that he should do his best to stay around as long as possible? Otherwise he has with few vices and I make sure our diet is healthy. Any advice?

• rongayle said 11 days ago....

  I hate to say this but I've known few smokers who stopped because someone they loved wanted it. I know it as a therapist, as a husband and as an ex-smoker. I am certainly aware of how scared you must be because I watched my wife's fear for many years as I continued to smoke. I also listened as she complained and cajoled and "reasoned" with me. It's not that I didn't know I should quit, because I did. I was convinced then and am still convinced that you have to want it personally to be able to quit. My wife has even written about her struggle with it in our blog on age difference relationships. We also have a significant age difference and she had the same concerns as you. I was finally able to stop and hope it was soon enough. As for the two of you, you may lose him too soon because of his smoking. He may lose you too soon for some other reason. In the meantime, cherish every day. That's what it's really all about, isn't it. Ron http://maydecembersecrets.com/?p=19

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