This is in response to MissMimi's question on a previous blog.
MissMimi... although you will often see D/s and Bdsm (and pain) seemingly included as a unit, many D/s relationships have no pain element. To the person who is truly submissive, the worst kind of punishment is the witholding of attention by the Dominant.
Pain is sometimes used as punishment, particularly with a submissive who does not enjoy pain, but it is not the primary way of changing behaviour within the relationship.
There does seem to be a high correlation between subs and the enjoyment of pain, and Dominants who enjoy inflicting pain. BDSM play often involves pain. Not always though. BDSM play tends to push the mental limits of the sub. This can be done in many ways... restraint of the physical kind (ropes, chains and leather)... and restraint of the mental kind, as in "Don't make a sound", "Don't move", "Ask permission to (have a drink, go to the bathroom, have a drink, eat something".
Generally, pain is used to the degree that the sub enjoys it... unless the Dominant is pushing for growth in that area, or is using it as punishment.
I hope this helps MissMimi... please keep asking and I'll keep answering. This post sparked a very interesting conversation with Master....
He is waiting for me right now, so the "sub-space" post will follow.
