God,

Hear my words. Hear my prayers. Give me guidance where I need it most. Protect my heart by showing it mercy. Wrap your arms around me and shelter me in my time of sadness. Most of all, thy will be done.
I find myself wondering where you are. Out in the darkness of the night. Clouded with emotion. My thoughts lead me to our begining. When I could look into your eyes and see the joy that I brought to you. You said I made the greatest faces. I felt like you saw me. More than anyone else. Ever. We drifted along on thie cloud called love for a long while. Then it seems like suddenly it evaporated. And I fell. Hard.

There was the middle. A moment as small as a three letter word. Where I felt like I would be okay with out you. A dark moment. When I was listening to the wrong voice coming from far away. A voice that couldn't help me. That voice wanted to see me fall. It was a voice filled with jealousy and hatred for what we have. We deserve to be loved. We deserve to love one another.

What feels like then end. God, listen to my words. I don't want this to be the end. I still want to be in the beginning. We have our whole lives ahead of us. Our lives together. Bonded by a strange similarity. We like girls. You brought my soul to the surface. Please don't abandon me. We were happy toether on Friday. In the park. Is that our spot? Our meeting place where we can come together and forget? I want you to let me knidle your dying embers of hope until I can bring them to burn and rage as fiery as they used to. Thy will be done. Make me an instrument of your peace.

 

Why is my relationship, My marrage failing? Why is my cloud evaporating and letting me fall? There are so many more memories left to make. I have so much more love left to give to you. I want to show you, that I can make the changes you ask. If it was taken me 15 months to do so, then so be it. Please, let me show you that this friendship that we have is important enough to me, to change myself for you. Please trust me. Please take my hand and look into my eyes the way that you used to. I need that from you. I need more time. I need more memories with you. I need to grow old with you. I need you to be impressed by what I want to show you. Change. If I have to walk through this valley of darkness alone, I fear I will fall. I will find you any where, even in your darkest hour. I will be there for you. No matter what happens. I will always forgive you. I will always love you.