My husband, "S", is on a little vacation.  He left on Monday last, and won't be back home until this Thursday.  And for those of you who read the previous post we have some talking to do, and waiting for him to come home is tearing me up inside.  Oh my god, I'm going bat shit with this.  Having all this time to internalize, and wonder, and fantasize about what is or what could be is driving me crazy, and by the time we get down to talking about things I'm going to have  a severe case verbal diarrhea.  I don't deal well with anxiety.  This week is going to drag, drag, drag.  Add that to the fact that I've started a new job that I'm 4 weeks into, and it's the most stressful job I think I've ever had.  Any de-stressing/calm-me-down tips?

Yesterday was fun, though. "A" came over in the afternoon and we ran some errands and then picked up Mexican food and movies and came back here to hang out. However, I just can't pin her down.  It's so weird.  I'm not sure what she's looking for with me, or with "S" or with the both of us.  I just get such uninterpretable signals from her.  There are times where she jokingly? says something about us making out, or she'll talk about how cool it would be if we could all just find a nice house so we can all live together.  But I don't know what she means by that?  Because she wants roommates?  Because she just likes hanging out with the both of us so much? Or because she wants us all to be one happy love group? Because if you ask me, that's what I want, but, yeah...I don't know.  And there was this point last night when my husband called, and as I spoke with him she cuddled up next to me and laid her head against my lap, and I slowly ran my fingers through her soft hair.  Sigh....

I feel like my inner 12 year old is comming out.  I'm feeling all these Highs and Lows of a school girl crush, and I just want to curl up into a ball and explode.  It kinda feels good.  But I'm not 12 anymore.