One of the most interesting side affects of this affair is that I found I'm not a lesbian. Ok, clearly I'm married to a man but in the past couple of years I really thought I had become a lesbian. Since he wasn't having sex with me the solution that he came up with was to bring other women into our relationship at times. Now just to be clear…I've always known I was bisexual, ever since I was a girl. So anyways, I had decided that I just wasn't really attracted to men anymore. There have been two in the last couple of years I was attracted to…one was S and the other was a submissive man that belongs to a group we belong to. But there have been many women I've been attracted to.
I knew one thing though when I finally decided to make the decision to have an affair. I needed male/female sex. I needed someone to pound into me, I needed the hardness of a man, the strength of a man. But I really actually thought I could do it a couple of times, get it out of my system and go back to being a lesbian. Um…no.
I'm still bisexual. I'm still enormously attracted to G. She excites me, she's so sensual and erotic…it's her spirit, her body, her voice, everything about her. I still want to be with her…when she is ready.
Right now though I'm so enthralled with what's happening with S that it's almost all-consuming. You know that "couple of times" I mentioned earlier? Hm…I'm not sure I'll ever get enough of him.
So there you have it…I'm not really a lesbian after all.
