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A sex question

allaroundgirl posted on Apr 24, 2007 | views: 4290 | Tags: sex, Anal sex, embarrasing sex moment, Proper anal preperation, funny, whoa, anal sex info, shitty post, anal, yrac666, PAM

Remember Pam?  You'll never guess what she told me! I have new found respect for this girl. She is living proof that you must never judge a book by its cover.

Okay, so I'm sitting in this coffee shop, enjoying a Latte when in walks Pam.

Hi Pam, how's it going?

Hey allaround, can I ask you a personal question?

Sure.

Have you ever had anal sex?

Umm, no...why?

I had an experience and I wanted to see if something like that had ever happened to anyone else.

What happened?

She looked at me, as if trying to decide whether to tell me or not. I almost wish she hadn't.

Oh okay...so what happened was my boyfriend and I were having this sexfest that started out innocently enough with some schoolgirl/teacher roleplay and a porno. We decided to try anal sex and I must say I was really enjoying it. Then I smelled something funny...uuummm...you know, I smelled crap. (stopped drinking latte at this point)

I said, "uh hun...am I, uum nasty down there?" I guess he was enjoying himself as well because he said "No...you're great." I just kept going because to be perfectly honest I was on the verge of a gigantic orgasm.  When we were done, he told me to close my eyes cause I wouldn't want to see and that he'd be right back with a towel.

I looked in a sex stupor and found SHIT ALL OVER THE BED. I puked right there and then. My poor bf had to clean up the entire mess, but he was incredible about it and we even had a good laugh afterwards. He keeps wanting to have anal sex but I'm just so afraid now...I mean what if this happens every time. Is it normal? Do you know if its happened to anyone?

I stared at Pam for the longest time. I was trying not to laugh, not to gag and then I just said, you know Pam...no one has ever told me something even remotely close to that. I honestly don't know if its normal but I'll ask around for you.

Oh no, allaround you can't how embarrassing!

Don't worry...it will be strictly anonymous.

So tell me soulcasters, is crap leaking out of your ass a normal occurance during anal sex?

lol...now there's a question I never thought I'd utter. 



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Comments

  • silverwhisper said on Apr 24, 2007....
    no, that isn't a normal occurrence. she should be able to prevent this from happening in the future by going to the bathroom before any lovemaking.

    stupid questions that might be relevant: did she experience any pain or discomfort? and did they use one of those things that numbs you instead of a proper lube?

    ed
  • secretlife said on Apr 24, 2007....
    allaround:  this is from wikipedia...

    The rectum can contain a disruptive amount of fecal matter when anal sex is performed, but it isn't necessarily so. Nina Hartley, in Nina Hartley's Guide to Anal Sex, points out that anal sex is not necessarily messy because the rectum is usually empty: it only contains a significant amount of feces at the point when it needs to be emptied. Once the rectum is emptied normally, it contains only trace amounts of feces. Enemas can also be used to empty the rectum.

    You can't always be sure what's in there...and when you're playing around in that area, if you aren't sure, then just use an enema beforehand...

    I've had it happen to me....not with copious amounts of waste, but some.  I normally will use one of those disposable enemas if i think this will be part of our play.

  • mobil said on Apr 24, 2007....
    Tell your friend PAM, to drink a bottle of that stuff that comes in a green
    bottle in the colonoscopy kit 24 hours before having colorectal sex.
     
    Then twelve hours before to take a rectal douche with one of those home
    do it yourself enema kits. Have her drink copious amounts of water, but
    no eating during this pre anal sexual period.
     
    Two hours prior to rectal loving making, tell her to take one red ass blaster.
    These you won't find in the drug store, but are sold on most street corners.
     
    This method if followed will allow PAM to raise her ass in the air with pride
    and grace without fear of anal leakage, drippage or spraying.
  • ShudderBug said on Apr 24, 2007....
    I thought I heard everything but that is disgusting, No this isn't normal in the least unless you have to go really bad before sex and don't. Oh to be that naive.
  • anonymous said on Apr 24, 2007....
    Yeah, enemas/bowl preps clean you out but they are horrible, I had to have a colonoscopy once and a bowl kit was required for the procedure. Very unpleasant for sure. However, I am sure most people into anal use a bowl prep kit of some kind. Also, a good lube is required and lots of it. Finally, I know in the pornos that people go at it really hard during anal sex, but listen, I have to be honest, I do not think the sex experts condone this. I think you are suppose to be gentle, not a freakin' jack hammer. Also, the guy should always use a condom, because you can get some serious urinary tract infections from the bacteria. Remember, be gentle; this person is nice enough to take it in the rear for you.
  • anonymous said on Apr 24, 2007....
    Yeah, enemas/bowl preps clean you out but they are horrible, I had to have a colonoscopy once and a bowl kit was required for the procedure. Very unpleasant for sure. However, I am sure most people into anal use a bowl prep kit of some kind. Also, a good lube is required and lots of it. Finally, I know in the pornos that people go at it really hard during anal sex, but listen, I have to be honest, I do not think the sex experts condone this. I think you are suppose to be gentle, not a freakin' jack hammer. Also, the guy should always use a condom, because you can get some serious urinary tract infections from the bacteria. Remember, be gentle; this person is nice enough to take it in the rear for you.
  • MissMimi said on Apr 24, 2007....
    Oh dear... I'm definitely not old enough to be reading this.
  • mom said on Apr 24, 2007....
    Allaround- I am glad that you came here with this question. The rectum is actually made for things coming out and not going in.  Anything inserted into the anus will stimulate the sphincter to release the hounds.  The act of taking it up the ass is something learned and not to be taken lightly.  I don't think it is necessary that you go through the ritual as Mobil has pointed out.  Anal sex is like a coital enema, it can produce such shitty accidents.  She must learn to relax and breathe.  I have never encountered this but my husband did.  Oh yeah I gave it to him real good.  oops back to the subject.  So I guess my answer would be no.
  • allaroundgirl said on Apr 24, 2007....

    oh lord...I've never had anal sex but it sounds stressful.

  • mom said on Apr 24, 2007....
    Allaround- No, it isn't for the faint hearted.  In fact women should receive a purple heart afterwards.  If you do it too much then you have to start wearing butt plugs to hold your poop in.  I saw some really nice ones, they had a horse tail coming off of it.  I got one that has a bunny tail on it.  Wait no I didn't do it, I just wanted it for good luck. Kegels don't help those muscles.
  • lioneljay said on Apr 24, 2007....
    Anal sex can be extraordinarily fulfilling and often leads to very strong orgasms because of the density of nerve endings at the anus. However, as with all things sexual, a little preparation is a good idea. A good bowel movement followed by a bit of extra cleanup with a damp washcloth should be sufficient. And if your guy is at all squeamish, using a condom makes cleanup as easy as removing a glove. In fact, using a condom for anal sex is generally a good idea because then you can get right back into front-door action without taking a break for extended cleanup first.
  • hunter_boyce_chandler said on Apr 24, 2007....

    mom,

    You are so damn funny I just had a Merlot eruption out of both nasal orifices.

    HBC

  • blastfromthepast said on Apr 24, 2007....
    Um, excuse me while I barf!!!!!  Quite frankly, I'm usually game for anything.  However, "doin' the mudshark" isn't one of those things.  It isn't that I'm too 'anal retentive', or anything.  It's because a previous boyfriend thought it would be a hoot to drive it up there without any prep, or warning for that matter.  The damage he did, both physically and emotionally, has made anal sex something I will ONLY watch and NOT participate in.
     
    Tell your friend to try having a baby without leaving 'debris'! LOL!
  • mom said on Apr 24, 2007....
    HBC- there seems to be a lot of that going around, people blowing things out their noses.  Daily does it alot and i believe, Creative Woman has done it and now you. I need to quit posting or you guys are going to blow out your sinuses.
     
    Blast- Hon, I can say is OWWWWWWWWW.  What an asshole, no pun intended.  Should have taken a broom and shoved it up his rectal cavity. 
    It almost is like giving birth huh?  I think I would rather......... well never mind.
  • blastfromthepast said on Apr 24, 2007....
    No, no, no!  It's not like giving birth at all!  But, you could have a little 'accident' while giving birth, just like you can while having anal sex.  You would rather what?  You got my curiousity up now, girl, so out with it.  You would rather what?
  • mom said on Apr 24, 2007....
    anon- what the hell is a bowl prep?  Lube?  We don' need no steenking lube.  The first time was spit, brace yourself and open wide for chunky.
  • MissMimi said on Apr 24, 2007....
    OMG, mom!! "open wide for chunky"?? LOLOLOL I had a mouthful of cookie. Notice the word "had" as in, I sprayed cookie gunk all over everywhere. Holy shit... You are too much! :D:D
  • mom said on Apr 24, 2007....

    ok Blast if you must know, I was going to say get butt fucked by the Dallas Cowboys all at once rather than give birth.

    Mimi-  at least you didn't blow it out your nose.  Things are looking up

  • D6fer said on Apr 25, 2007....
    Well if this isn't the shittiest post I have seen in a long time! A shitty post about getting a shitty post....ick!   sorry but your friend sounds like an idiot....how can you not know you got an assload?
    Mom....you kill me.....you should do stand up!
  • mom said on Apr 25, 2007....
    D6- I could never do stand up.  I am so introverted that it isn't funny.  I feel like the unseen comic.  I am happy with that title.
  • D6fer said on Apr 25, 2007....
    a writer for a sitcom maybe?....on HBO...or Showtime....I don't think your ready for primetime! ;p
  • mom said on Apr 25, 2007....
    lol, yeah put me away, oh that is how it all starts. Why not Cinemax?  LOL jk
  • RollingC said on Apr 25, 2007....
    Well...at least your friend didn't throw up while giving head....anyone would throw up after mixing pooping in bed and having an orgasm.

    Blowing your nose and shooting snot out like a cannon ball is quite common in some countries (like in South America). I've never actually got the hang of it yet but give me some time and I will.
  • AlisonMarie19 said on Apr 25, 2007....
    If I used that "super colon blow" stuff as I call it, I'd would NOT even WANT to have anal sex. I had to use that shit (heehee) for a colonoscopy, and it made my ass so sore. I know it really cleans you out though. As for not eating for 12 hours, how are you even going to have the energy?? It's a good idea, Mobil, but sheesh. I wouldn't even want regular sex after that.
     
                    =(^-^)=   ali m.
  • AnnonymousNympho said on Apr 25, 2007....
    Wow, there are a lot of comments to this entry but I'm going to throw mine in here as well.
     
    I love anal sex!  I like it better than vaginal sex actually because I can feel every little movement and thrust more intensly. 
     
    Here's what I do to prepare:
     
    * Eat a lot of fruits and veggies to stay regular.
    * Make sure to have a bowel movement the day I'm planning to have anal sex
    * I don't actually use a true enema but I do use the Summer's Eve Vinegar and Water douche to clean there
    * Last I wash the surface area with soap and water
     
    This system works well for me and makes for pleasant sex for both of us.
     
    I also wanted to say that your friend's boyfriend sounds like he was being a gentleman about it.  When I was first experiencing anal sex I had a similar event happen and the man acted in a simliar way.  I'm guessing that they know where they are going and what can happen and are willing to take the risk for the pleasure anal sex can bring.
  • rmuxagirl said on Apr 25, 2007....
    I have to admit I was laughing while reading this because I know my friends would never ask me that question or even attempt to bring it up to me because they would know I would laugh at them.

    But I can honestly say I have never heard anything like that happening.
  • allaroundgirl said on Apr 25, 2007....

    LOL...some of these answers are too funny!!!

    rmuxagirl, normally I don't think she would have asked me but there was that one incident where I caugh Pam buck naked in a "funny" situation with a vibrator...lol...I guess she figures after there is nothing we can't share. {gulp...that can be scary}

  • mommyof2 said on Apr 25, 2007....
    Oh my!! Don't really know what to say here maybe it's cuz I can not stop laughing!!!!!
  • silverwhisper said on Apr 25, 2007....
    aag: well, perhaps she figures you're similarly a quiet girl in public? :>

    ed
  • blastfromthepast said on Apr 25, 2007....
    This is too friggin funny!  Mom, you just crack me up (no pun intended)!  The Dallas Cowboys, indeed!  I must say, if I'm in a down mood all I have to do is tune in to SC to change that in one Hell of a hurry!
  • mom said on Apr 25, 2007....
    :)  Glad it made you smile. :)
  • defector said on Apr 26, 2007....
    medically its not normal. It would most likely voice down to her bowel habit or even a bowel control problem. but its hard to determine the normality from a one time affair. can only be certain if it keeps happening. say 3 times in a row? if the guy don't mind the cleaning up.. stick to it.. haha.. sex is a dirty game isn't it.. scat is also common in some couple.. haha...
  • botoni said on Apr 26, 2007....
    Where else can a gay man sit back and snurfle coffee while reading a blog with a bunch of hetro sexuals discussing anal sex I ask you?
    MOM! You never told me the Dallas Cowboys were into anal! What about the cheerleaders?
    For the record...void the bowels, use a mild enema prior to anal sex and plenty of lube. All should go well.
  • mom said on Apr 26, 2007....
    Bot-lololol, It is amazing what goes on  in SC isn't it?
     I am not sure if they are or not, can't say I know about the cheerleaders either.  I was just using them to reply.  Do you want me to find out?
  • lioneljay said on Apr 26, 2007....
    Mom, if you do this investigation in real time and hands-on, may I come along as your photo/video assistant?
  • botoni said on Apr 26, 2007....
    Wheeeeeeeeeeee......We ve sent mom on a quest!
  • mom said on Apr 26, 2007....
    wow LJ sure you can come along and we should get the rest of the gang to go for lighting and interviews and layouts, yeah  we also need a lube boy,  a towel boy and a whole crew!
    Bot- I want you to time this!  I need someone with a case of douches.  Wouldn't want that shit spilling out after too much of it.
  • botoni said on Apr 26, 2007....
    LOL.....Mom...you are quick witted! and fast on the draw!
  • mom said on Apr 26, 2007....
    bot- I may be fast on the draw but only half witted.  I have an appointment this monday to be sized and fitted.
  • botoni said on Apr 26, 2007....
    mom......of all people on here you are definately FULL WITTED.
  • mom said on Apr 26, 2007....
    That is a dirty lie!
  • oldog said on Apr 27, 2007....
    Well, having no experience along those lines personally, all I can say  is that the navy kids at Sasebo Japan , agreed to a man that the back door really sucked with Japanese girls due to the residual rice grains which would get under their foreskins, really ripping themselves up in the glans.... This from a survey conducted in a "stand bar" by one of my ship's A. B,'s years ago
  • mom said on Apr 27, 2007....

    Old- lolololololol, I am eating pizza and my throat just closed up.  GROSS!  Rice grains?  Doesn't your body digest those better?

    (sung to the tune of tiny bubbles)

    Tiny rice grains,

    In your ass.

    Makes me hurt,

    cause it feels like glass

  • oldog said on Apr 27, 2007....
    "cause it feels like glass" LMAO!!
    Ekshullay, the orientals eat a very different kind of rice. not so refined, and its steamed , not cooked, so , yup some of it may only be partially digested..... hell, some of it may be only partially cooked, but they say its verry good for you.... I guess, but what do I know? I have never been inspired to look 'into' it in detail     :D
  • mom said on Apr 27, 2007....
    yeah me neither. :)
  • AlisonMarie19 said on Apr 28, 2007....
    Ewwwww.... I may never eat rice again....
     
                  =(^-^)=   ali m.
  • botoni said on Apr 28, 2007....
    TFMI......my foreskin just had a spazz and went to hide.
  • MissMimi said on Apr 28, 2007....

    Mom can I go with you on your quest to the Dallas Cowboys? I need to broaden my horizons.

    What a strange and hilarious conversation...

  • yrac666 said on Apr 28, 2007....
    its the best care to try
  • mom said on Apr 28, 2007....
    Mimi- Yes of course you can, you are part of my butt crew :)
  • lioneljay said on Apr 28, 2007....
    Woo hoo! I'm in Mom's butt crew. :D
  • mom said on Apr 28, 2007....
    Hey!  Lionel the more the marrier
  • blastfromthepast said on Apr 28, 2007....
    Pick me!  Pick me! (hand waving frantically) LOL
  • allswell said on Apr 28, 2007....
    Yall are so funny!! lol.....thanks for making me laugh...i needed that!   By the way i've never tried anal sex but after reading that i think i'd be way too scared to try....lol! 
  • mom said on Apr 28, 2007....

    Blast- sure you can be on mine too.

    Allswell- Whenever you are in a large group walk so your butt is away from people.

  • princessbitch65 said on Apr 30, 2007....
    Hi all! I kind of stumbled on this blog. Great! The guy I have been seeing wants to do this and at first I was considering it but after reading this, OMG!!!!! That is too much work!
  • mom said on Apr 30, 2007....
    Princess- LOLOLOL, well SHIT! Aww let the poor chap poke a little fun at ya.  What have you got to lose?  Maybe your bowels.
  • allswell said on May 01, 2007....
    mom....what??? I didn't get it!
  • mom said on May 01, 2007....
    Allswell- they were just remarks. LOL  nothing to really worry about. :)
  • AnnonymousNympho said on May 01, 2007....
    Allswell - don't be scared....everybody here is having fun but I really do prefer it to vaginal sex.  If it's your first time have your guy use lots of lube and take it really slow.  My first experience was while I was on my back and he was above me so he could see my facial expressions and we could talk about what was going on to make sure everything was ok....it was HOT!
  • mom said on May 01, 2007....
    Allswell- I'm sorry you probably don't know me well enough to know I was just teasing you.   Now I don't want you scratching your head raw trying to figure me out. :)
  • botoni said on May 01, 2007....
    advice to Allswell.....DO NOT try to figure mom out. Just accept her for the totally loving unabashed nutcake that she is!
  • mom said on May 01, 2007....
    Bot- awww you always know the right thing to say.  My heart swells each time I read you,  oh wait I think it is gas............yep it was gas. :)
  • botoni said on May 01, 2007....
    lol @ mom
  • mom said on May 01, 2007....

    :)

    Bot, when my husband dies, will you marry me? 

  • botoni said on May 01, 2007....
    mom....I ll give it consideration. A lot depends on what he dies from.....hehehe
  • MissMimi said on May 01, 2007....
    LOL at Botty... Hey, Botty, you into threesomes? ;)
  • mom said on May 01, 2007....
    Bot- lololol, well what if it was strangulation?  Would that bother you?
     
     
  • allswell said on May 02, 2007....

    mom...that's ok i know you was playing around....i think the joke just went over my head...lol

    bot....thanks i'll keep that in mind  :) 

  • botoni said on May 02, 2007....
    Whoa MissMimi.....A three some with you and mom on the beaches of Tahiti.....I m in palms dawn!
    Mom..........strangulation huh? Please tell me your just choking.
    Allswell.....hehehe....best that some of our silliness sails over your head....shows you re not nearly as warped as we are....hehehe
  • anonymous said on May 02, 2007....
    Ok: here is what you have to tell your friend Pam, LOL (can't believe I'm actually posting this, but i feel compelled). She is not alone, this happened to me once too (embarassingly enough). It was the second or third time i ever tried anal, and it was still really painful at that time because my boyfriend's dick was huge and it was anal and i wasn't used to it. So, in an attempt to be able to let him do it longer than two minutes, i was intentionally trying to relax the area. Plus, he kept telling me to "just relax" and i trusted his judgement. Turns out relaxation isn't necessarily a good thing in that situation. Anyway, the moral of the story is, now it's five years later and i have anal almost every time i have sex, and i just make sure NOT TO RELAX, and in fact keep it tightly squeezed, which also happens to be enjoyable for the guy. I never do any fancy colorectal cleansing or enemas or any special prep at all other than making sure to shower regularly, and nothing similar has ever happened again. Oh, and yes, we are able to do it as roughly as you see done in porn. It just takes some getting used to. PS: my boyfriend was really great about it too, he just threw the blanket away, we took a shower, and we never talked about it again. -a girl who loves anal
  • yrac666 said on May 05, 2007....
    i like to try u out any time just lrt me know how to get there
  • marysaaka said on May 24, 2007....
    If you play with shit long enought it being to smell, even longer, edviences, there off.
  • AlisonMarie19 said on May 24, 2007....
    "If you play with shit long enough, it begins to smell; even longer, there is evidence."
     
    I think. Did I get that right??
     
                  =(^-^)=  
  • mom said on May 24, 2007....
    Ali- I commend you for still trying. LOL, you don't give up do you?
  • AlisonMarie19 said on May 25, 2007....
    Nope. I'm no quitter. :)
     
                          =(^-^)=  
  • mom said on May 25, 2007....
    ali- LOLOL sometimes you have to admit defeat.  I already have and I feel fine
  • Dandy_Lion said on Jun 18, 2007....
    If you're going to do it anally you have to be prepared because, you know, shit happens.
  • whoreslave said on Oct 05, 2007....
    As has been said repeatedly- the rectum of a healthy adult who has recently had a bowel movement is pretty well empty. If you're young and healthy and have rarely had this sort of sex, then those muscles should be healthy and strong as well, and if there is any mess at all, it should be only slight. After years of doing this sort of thing frequently those muscles become more flexible, and less inclined to hold anything and everything back, or if you aren't perfectly healthy and the stuff in your colon isn't firm and solid, in these cases, the full enema treatment is advisable, though it's a pain (pun intended) in the ass, and it's hell on spontaneity.

    For the record though, regular (weekly or monthly) enemas are not only harmless- they're quite healthy to take, even in a young healthy adult. They cleanse the colon of all manner of toxins that would otherwise be left behind, (pun not intended,) reduces your risk of colon cancer, yes, but even more, it will clarify your skin, you'll find you have more energy, sleep better, and it can ease all sorts of toxin-caused symptoms. And they aren't really as awful as all that anyway.
  • Peanuthead said on Jan 29, 2008....
    My Goddd! I didnt know it was this stressful! I always thot of trying it out with her, but now, i dont think so!!!

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