So I have been at a loss of words lately. I had an emotinal group counseling meeting on Thursday and ever since I can't place why I feel so down after that meeting. It brought up tons of emotions in me, and we only covered one topic pretty much, how does one go through therapy so slowly and stay sane the rest of the time? I'm not even sure we solved anything. I feel worse even. I was doing ok before that dang meeting. I was feeling super high and uber low almost at the sametime, I was forgetting about my mean friend, I was numb from happiness and sadness. Now I miss my stupid friend all over again, I keep making it the center of my problems, and I know it's not true, it's not whats really bothering me, but I'm not sure what seriously is. It doesn't help that I don't have any truly close friends to hang out with around here, the few that I have are just to watch movies with, talk about school with, go out to bars with (not my thing anyway). My other friends live far away. It doesn't help that I keep making him out to be a close friend, that I think I miss his friendship more than anything. If I could only have some peace with him, some answers, I could finally move on, thats a good thing to bring up to my counselor actually. I need a distraction my counselor says, how can I do that without any friends. I was doing so well, I was gaining confidence, I didn't care what people said or if they looked at me or if I didn't have anything to say or if I made a mistake in my words, I was not careing and now I feel like I've started all over.
ninjapirate posted on Apr 24, 2007
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Comments
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silverwhisper said on Apr 24, 2007....
np, if you don't mind my asking, what topic was covered in group? perhaps that might provide some insights? i know that sometimes therapy can kick loose some things that have been buried for a while--is this possibly it?
ed -
whatthefuck said on Apr 24, 2007....
Ninjapirate: I recomend that you look into books by Wayne Dyer he can definetly help also there is alot of other self help books availabe in addition to your counseling. Feeling sad is a choice that you make on a day to day, moment to moment basis. When you awake you can choose to feel happy and make the best of your day or you can continue to feel sad what is important to remember is all of the positive things that you can be happy about and focus on these. Feeling sad is natural it's true but don't let it interfere with too much of your day. -
ninjapirate said on Apr 24, 2007....
Silver: Well the topic started out as beating yourself up over the things you can't bring yourself to do. Then one other group member and I got into the death of loved ones topic, we've both experienced this and it was very hard to talk about. I guess it is kind of related to self punishment. I definetly agree that I buried a lot of feelings over this and now I'm finally dealing with it six years later. Now I'm very curious as to why it took this long.What: I was considering self help books, theres just so many I didn't know where to start, but perhaps I will take a look at the author you mentioned. I have tried to choose to be happy, it works sometimes, but I always come back to feeling how I do now, but at least it seems I'm getting closer to the real problem. Thanks for your advice. -
silverwhisper said on Apr 24, 2007....
np, i think things like this are a sign that therapy is doing something good, no?
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KayRoseOrchid said on Apr 24, 2007....
sweetiepie~ I am here for you. You can call me anytime. Just think about this summer. We will have us some fun!!
I really wish you didn't feel the way you are feeling. I won't judge you ever. I know it is difficult to get back on track, so to speak. I can totally understand wanting answers and a resolution to this situation with your mean friend. But maybe, at some point, you can just say "Screw it! It's his loss!" and live your life for you.
It sucks that you feel overly aware of how you may appear to others. I use to feel that way, and sure I do still every once in a while. But at some point, when you are really ready, you can just say "To hell with this!" and go about your life not worrying about what others are thinking of you. That really is the only way to lead a sane life, I think.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Love, Kay
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KayRoseOrchid said on Apr 24, 2007....
honeybuns~wow...I can relate to you a lot about death of loved ones. We should definitely talk about this subject when we see each other. It may help us both =)
{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}
Love, Kay
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ninjapirate said on Apr 25, 2007....
Silver: I suppose it is some good, but it's just going so slowly that it's hard to deal with the in between sessions time, like right now.Kay: Thanks sooo much! I really appreciate all your support, not judging me and everything! I think you're right that day will come when I can move on from the past and be happy with me. It will just take awhile. Death of loved ones topic is pretty tough for me to talk about, and not a lot of people know about it. I'm sure we can talk about it, hopefully my group will make this a bit easier. Anyway, can't wait till the summer! Hugs! -
silverwhisper said on Apr 25, 2007....
i have a friend who's in counseling now and at first, she dreaded going because the night after a counseling session, she would have nightmares, but she came to realize that her nightmares were her way of trying to come to terms with stuff she thought long-buried. that seems to be what's happening to you here, np.
ed -
KayRoseOrchid said on Apr 25, 2007....
I am so stoked and excited about this summer ninja!!!!! More {{{{{hugs}}}}} and jumping up and down with excitement!!!
That's what real friends do: support, not judge and love!
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ninjapirate said on Apr 25, 2007....
Silver: I think you just helped me figure out why I can't sleep! I had no idea it could be because of my counseling, I don't really have nightmares, but I'm not passing out like usual either. Thanks for sharing Ed! I hope your friends counseling is working.Kay: Sniff and Hugs! I am soo glad to have a good friend like you! It'll be a nice summer I'm sure, can't wait! -
beyondtheveil said on Apr 30, 2007....
ninja- Therapy is slow, hard work. Keep in mind that no one can go through therapy and not be bothered from time to time. If you are never bothered by it, you aren't going to advance. Its supposed to get to you. -
ninjapirate said on Apr 30, 2007....
Beyond: Good to know, glad theres more of a sign that its working. Just this in between time is killing me right now, but at least I can write about it on here.
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