I've been thinking alot lately about the word damaged.
damaged:(adj) harmed or injured or spoiled
I've been thinking about this word as it relates to people, not things.
I don't know about you, but I know for a fact that I've been damaged.
Many years ago, I realized that my relationship with my husband had the potential to damage me. I thought since I realized the potential, I could also prevent it from happening.
Silly huh?
I mean it seems fairly obvious that you can realize that something is fragile, and you can try to protect it, but there are things that can happen that can damage that item anyway....and there's nothing you can do to prevent it.
People are the same in that respect.
Sometimes the damage just happens because you're exposed to it.
Take my backyard swing, for example.
I've had it for 8 years now. The material is worn out...the sun has faded it. The elements have made it weak, and there are tears and rips. Every year I spray it with rustoleum, but there are still spots of rust.
I'm not like the backyard swing.
My damage can't be seen just by looking at me.
Mine is inside- scars left by disappointments and lonliness and lack of affection.
Even though I realized these things long ago, I thought I could remain unaffected. I could somehow make up for these things in other ways. No, I wasn't going to become jaded and hard. i was going to put up a battle to remain hopeful and soft....
But what I learned is that while you can wage your own private war to prevent the rips and the tears....that while you can spray your heart with rustoleum like a madwoman, you cannot help but be changed....
It happens in subtle ways. But it surely happens.
And it's not just our relationships that can damage us either. It's the things that happen to us in our lives- it's our trials and our tribulations...it's our losses and our mistakes.
The longer I live, the more I realize that none of us escapes.
We are all damaged.
We are alike in that regard.
