• dailyachesandpains said on Apr 12, 2007....

  Cagney, I'm the SAME way.  If it's not a family member I don't go to the wake.  I can't get that "picture" out of my head after I go. 
   
  If I were in your shoes, I would just go to the grave side service. I'm sure they'll understand.
   
  {{{{hugs}}} I'm sorry for your loss
  Daily

• Cagney said on Apr 12, 2007....

  Daily - I am sooooo glad to find that I am not the only one who feels this way.  I am going to go to the graveside service, even though I could really do without that as well, but that is my compromise.  Thanks for the hugs.

• secretlife said on Apr 13, 2007....

  Nobody wants to go to these things.  Nobody. Who wants to go to funerals and wakes???
  You go to them out of respect and love for the one who has passed and the family who is left behind. 
   
  I wouldn't take my kids-  not unless it was a very close relative. i don't think they need to see this.
  but i'd go myself. especially because her death is such a tragedy and you've known her most of your life.

• silverwhisper said on Apr 13, 2007....

  cagney, her children would you want you there, wouldn't they?
  
  i've always had a feeling that as much as i might not want to go, i would regret not going, esp for someone w/ whom i was close.
  
  don't give yourself cause for regret, i say.
  
  ed

• Cagney said on Apr 13, 2007....

  Thanks for the support and advice everyone.  I am getting ready to take off to go to the graveside service.  My daughter is at school, so she will not be going, which is okay. 
  
  I know it is sad, but I just hate to go to funerals where kids have passed away before their parents.  I mean everyone is sad but I can't imagine if my duaghter were to pass away before me.  It just isn't right.
  
  I am glad I didn't go last night because that was for everyone but the graveside is just for close family and friends.  Smaller group, more intimate. 
  
  Anyways, thanks again.  It is just about time to head off to the cemetary.
  

• Cagney said on Apr 13, 2007....

  Well I have returned from the graveside service.  It was horrible.  I don't know what was worse, seeing her father losing his daughter or seeing her young children losing their mother.
  
  She was just too young for this to happen.  As my mom said, it isn't supposed to happen this way.
  
  
  

• silverwhisper said on Apr 13, 2007....

  no, it absolutely is not. i'm so very sorry for your loss, cagney.
  
  ed

• dailyachesandpains said on Apr 13, 2007....

  Your comment just gave me a chill down my spine, Cagney.  That is SO sad!
   
  I'm sending flowers to a funeral home tomorrow.  Just found out that my Husband's ex co-worker lost her husband.  He was BASE jumping in Idaho and she didn't even know he was going to jump!  She did so much for us when Little Daily had her heart surgery.  I just can't go to the wake.  I can't do it!  He is younger than I am and so is she.  Not even into their 30's yet! 
   
  {{{hugs}}}
  Daily

• tuktukon said on Apr 19, 2007....

  To be born is a celebration of life and to die is a celebration
  of death .  Our life is just a passage in time.  Do not take it
  hard on yourself if you detest attending funerals there are people
  like you, myself included,  who feels the same way.
  

• Cagney said on Apr 19, 2007....

  Daily - I am sorry about your loss and I completely understand you not wanting to go.  I guess everyone mourns in their own way.
  
  tuktukon - thanks for your words, they are very meaningful to me.
  

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